My Gym Diary

© Tadija | Dreamstime Stock Photos & Stock Free Images

© Tadija | Dreamstime Stock Photos & Stock Free Images

The Weight Watchers theory is that writing down what you eat can make you lose weight, so I decided to keep a going-to-the-gym-diary to help me get in better shape. Here is what happened my first seven (non-consecutive) days at the gym.

Day 1- Feel That Credit Card Burn

Like most new endeavors, getting in shape takes motivation, determination, commitment, and cold, hard cash. I want to change my life, so buying the “lifetime gym membership”–where I pay $45 a month for the rest of my life, regardless of whether I ever break a sweat–seems like a really good idea.

I’ll also need new shoes, socks, a gym bag, sweats, a heart rate monitor, water bottle, an iPod and a lifetime subscription to “Ahnold Magazine” to get started on my journey.

No wonder all these people are wiping off their equipment with $20 bills. I guess that’s the price you pay to get in shape.

Day 2 – Just Do It

There’s nothing like new shoes to put a spring in my step. I drive the 12 blocks from my house to the gym, then circle around the lot 17 times before parking 3 blocks away. I’m exhausted before I set foot in the door.

I see some moms I know from school and end up chatting for an hour, while I occasionally look appreciatively at the equipment. If you’re at the gym, does that time count as a workout? I decide that it does and feel a little superior as I leave and notice the same three cars from an hour and a half ago still waiting for parking.

Day 3 – Checking Things Out

I go up to the weight room to look around. The grunting, the cyborg noises and the mirrors all bring back horror movie flashbacks and the armpit-vomit smell reminds me of my college dorm. Maybe I’ll try the cardio machines.

I’m still learning to use the equipment, so I peek over at Skinny Sally’s control panel to see what level and program she’s using on the elliptical machine. Of course I’m not very subtle and almost lose my balance trying to crane my neck for a better view. Must be the traction on my new shoes!

She gives me a dirty, sweaty, scary stare and quickly throws her towel over the lit up panel. Meow! It’s not like I was snooping in her purse, and why is it filled with ex-lax and breath mints?

Day 4 – Not Checking Things Out

I can’t stand it any longer. My bladder’s about to burst like a wicked rhinoceros. I force myself to go into the locker room to pee. As I wash my hands, I try to avoid making eye contact with Skinny Sally, who is completely nude except for her hair dryer, and now friendly as can be.

I sit down on a bench to compose myself.

When I look up, there’s a 95-year-old naked woman, Wrinkled Rhonda, two inches away from my face.

Day 5 – Real Time Versus Gym Time

I keep switching treadmills, but they are all defective. There’s no way I’ve only been working out for 17 minutes. It’s been at least an hour. I try to focus on what I’ll write my column about next week. If I’m thinking about work, can I bill for my time? I would call my accountant, but the gym has gotten very strict about enforcing their no cell phone policy on the gym floor and in the locker rooms–and I don’t have an accountant. Earlier today, Wrinkled Rhonda was naked in the hallway, taking a call from her great great great great grandson.

Day 6 – Power Reading

I have an epiphany. If you read while you’re on the treadmill, the time goes by faster. I should be reading War and Peace for my book club, but Bolkonski and Tolstoy are a lot less compelling than finding out what’s going on with Carmen Electra and Joan Jett.

Is reading the “National Enquirer” at the gym the same as reading it in the grocery store? I’m pretty sure that as long as you read it standing up, then it doesn’t have any calories.

Day 7 — Look Out

I’ve discovered something else about reading at the gym. I can’t read with my glasses and I can’t see other people without them. This is good and bad. My sister still hasn’t forgiven me for not recognizing her the other day. Give me a break. She was pretty sweaty, and very blurry.

On the other hand, if I don’t make eye contact with my high school homecoming date over there on the elliptical machine, maybe he won’t recognize me. Of course I’m twice the woman I was back then–hence the gym membership–so there’s no way he’d recognize me.

I remember from theatre arts that if you’re backstage and you can’t see the audience, they can’t see you either. I wonder if this is how it works at the gym? Maybe I should just take off my glasses when I look at the scale and forget about the gym completely.

Originally appeared in the Santa Barbara Daily Sound March 30, 2007

The Amazing Adventures of Danger Boy and Wimpy Mom

© Kapu | Dreamstime Stock Photos & Stock Free Images

© Kapu | Dreamstime Stock Photos & Stock Free Images

I stared up at Koss in amazement, as he confidently donned his bike helmet and harness to climb Gibraltar Rock. He looked so little, just a wisp of a boy, yet so excited and sure of himself. I couldn’t help but be impressed. Then I looked down at Rattlesnake Canyon 150 feet below, and almost lost my footing–and my lunch.

What kind of nut job mom lets their seven-year-old kid climb a mountain? Yet, there I was, terrified and shaking, watching from the side of the road. My Little Danger Boy was about to try rock climbing for the first time, with only a rope, a helmet and a harness to protect him from harm.

It was all his teacher’s fault. Teacher Danger Boy is an avid rock climber, and he promised the kids he would take them climbing as a belated Christmas gift. Talk about the gift that keeps on giving–grey hairs. Now it was time for him to “pay up on his promise,” and I was a wreck.

Under normal circumstances I wouldn’t have been anywhere near the mountain. It’s been well documented that I’m not exactly the queen of all things daring and dangerous. My fears are completely rational. When I was 16 years old I took a 25-foot spill down a cliff onto the beach, and therefore all cliffs–even biggish sand dunes–are extremely dangerous and should be avoided at all costs.

OK, I was wearing flip-flops and was too busy flirting with the boy I was with to pay attention to my footing, but that doesn’t change the fact that all cliffs–and even biggish sand dunes–are extremely dangerous and should be avoided at all costs.

But see, Big Danger Boy (a.k.a. my husband Zak) was off on a dangerous “mancation” of his own that day, kayaking down boulder-filled rivers, drinking way too much and supervising a bunch of Neanderthals wobbling their way through a testosterone- and alcohol-fueled makeshift firewalk.

Since Zak was unavailable, I had to be there to “supervise” Koss’s rock climbing adventure. I warned his teacher that I would be watching from the side of the road. Unfortunately, Teacher Danger Boy didn’t pick up on the massive waves of “please don’t make me come and watch this” vibes I was sending his way, and said it would be just fine for me to watch from afar. I could have strangled him with my bare hands, but Koss really wanted to go, and his Wimpy Mom just didn’t have the heart to say no.

Clearly I was the one that needed a helmet to protect me from the blow to the head I must have suffered that got me to edge of this cliff (if 20 feet away is still “edge”).

I flashed back to Big Danger Boy’s skydiving adventure a few years back. I spent what should have been a lovely Saturday with my nerves shot, chained to the telephone. I could have killed him when he came back with a house full of pumped-up revelers, complaining of groin pain.

This time there was stomach pain (mine) as I grabbed my camera with one hand and a tree to steady myself with the other. I don’t even like writing about this, it just wigs me out again. If I could have sent him up there with full body armor and a hovering helicopter I would have, but all I could do at that point was cross my white knuckles, fingers, toes, and eyes and watch from afar as Koss climbed up that mountain like it was the most natural thing in the world.

Through the zoom lens of my camera I could see the huge smile on his face when he got to the top. He was so pumped up and proud of himself. For a split second I thought that maybe I wasn’t such a Wimpy Mom after all.

Originally appeared in the Santa Barbara Daily Sound on June 8, 2007

My Destination Vacation

© Dushenina | Dreamstime Stock Photos & Stock Free Images

© Dushenina | Dreamstime Stock Photos & Stock Free Images

While most of Santa Barbara was schussing down the slopes at Mammoth or slathering on the sunscreen in Hawaii, I spent my spring break on a guilt trip, once again. I’m a creature of habit and guilt trips are definitely my vacation destination of choice.

Well, not exactly “choice.”

I’d rather be drinking upside down margaritas in Mexico, or yachting in Europe without a care in the world, but given my current bank account, that wasn’t going to be happening this year–again. Like most other creative types who feel incredibly lucky just to be able to eke out a living without selling their souls, when there’s work to be had, I have to work.

Last week just happened to be one of those weeks. It also just happened to be the first week of Koss’s spring break. Yes, that wasn’t a typo. The FIRST week of his spring break. Apparently the families in our school district worked so hard for the three months after our three-week winter break that they need a two-week spring break to oh, say, ski in Mammoth or sun in Hawaii.

Not that I’m bitter or anything. If I could afford to take FIVE weeks off in the middle of the school year and go somewhere glamorous, I’d do it in a heartbeat. I’m sure if I left out enough bowls of cereal, the kid would be fine.

Instead, I sent my son to camp, where he golfed, bowled, fished, hiked, learned a few swear words, and had a marvelous time. I, of course, felt incredibly guilty.

Despite the fact that I take my son to school every day, spend a ridiculous amount of time volunteering at his school when I should be working, then pick my son up from that same school every single day, have a semi-nutritious snack waiting for him in the car, and am always there after school to help him with his homework, schedule play dates, play handball, and take him to soccer/basketball/baseball/whatever else is in season practice–if I spend even a small part of his school breaks working, I feel guilty. If I spend a large part of those breaks working, I feel really guilty.

And if, as was the case last week, I spend a part of those school breaks actually taking a break for myself, say by putting him in camp all day while I do some writing and then go to the movies, I feel really, really guilty. Especially when my husband surprises me and says he wants to go to the movies one night during the week. Do I admit that I’ve actually already seen everything worth seeing? Then I’ll feel really guilty since he’s the one who’s been working full time while I’m doing full time chauffer/ part time career thing from home, which is actually harder, I know, because I’ve worked full time before when he stayed at home, but I feel guilty saying that because I know he’d switch positions with me in a heartbeat if I’d let him.

It’s a vicious cycle. But I’m comforted to know that I’m not the only woman who was raised on a diet of guilt (though mine was well seasoned with plenty of humor, I should add, so that I won’t feel too guilty when my mother reads this). A recent article in the Washington Post told the story of a woman in Virginia who felt so guilty about leaving her family in the evening that she almost missed out on an interesting lecture–titled “Mommy Guilt.”

Honey, I feel your pain, but I’ve decided to play through it anyway.

Rather than guilt tripping about my need to have a little bit of time to myself–and taking it anyway–I’m going to make friends with my guilt and take it on a few more outings this week. You won’t see us on the slopes, unfortunately, but maybe you’ll see us at the movies.

Originally appeared in the Santa Barbara Daily Sound April 6, 2007

Education 101

Are Santa Barbara Schools Making the Grade?

Education 101, story from Santa Barbara Magazine

Education 101, from Santa Barbara Magazine

Education 101, from Santa Barbara Magazine

For better or worse, the days when parents would simply whisk their children off to the nearest school are long gone. Discussions of “where are you sending your child?” dominate local parks, pediatrician’s offices and preschool playgrounds. While there’s no such thing as a one-size-fits-all approach to education, luckily we have lots of options in Santa Barbara. In general, our schools are getting better too–a concerted effort is underway to narrow the achievement gap between middle- to upper-class and low-income students. “Our schools are improving,” according to experts including longtime local educator Gerrie Fausett, the current superintendent of the Hope School District and former principal of Santa Barbara Junior High and Washington Elementary School on the Mesa. She says that schools are “doing a better job educating our students, and have particularly improved in their work with students that are not meeting academic expectations. The improvements and the dedication to making sure that kids are learning what they need to learn are moving forward.” Continue reading

A passion for philanthropy

New consulting ventures offer nonprofit groups much more than the sum of their parts

BY LESLIE DINABERG

The fabric of Santa Barbara’s intricately embroidered nonprofit community has some new embellishments in its design, as two consulting groups have recently announced their formations: The Crandell Company and Resource Innovators. Continue reading

Take Your Daughters to Work Day

“I know that girls can be anything that they want to be,” said featured speaker Barbara Ibarra Keyani as she shared her moving story of going “beyond her barrio” to UCSB, MIT, becoming a mother of two daughters now in college and her current position with the Santa Barbara School Districts with the 80 girls and 50 women who participated in Girls Incorporated’s annual Take Our Daughters to Work Day on May 24. Continue reading

Mating in the Millennium

Stuart Miles (Freedigitalphotos.net)

Stuart Miles (Freedigitalphotos.net)

The singles scene is changing fast.

Leslie Dinaberg tags along to dig up the dish on blind dating — 21st-century style.

MAN SEEKING WOMAN: Funny guy with killer body and money to burn seeks woman who doesn’t believe everything she reads.

Eye catching ad, isn’t it? It should be. That’s the online dating promo for professional online personal ad writer Evan Marc Katz, founder of e-cyrano.com, just one of the many Web sites for people who are looking for love in all kinds of interesting places. Continue reading

First Time Home Buyers: Vintage Charm

Google maps image

Google maps image

Entering the threshold of their new life together, couple opts for classic over contemporary

There are two kinds of first-time homebuyers: those that go for the modern amenities and those that go for the charm. Susan Bosse and Erik Vasquez definitely went for the charm, or at least the potential charm of their new home on 1242 W. Valerio St.

The house was built in 1925 and suffered from what Vasquez generously called “deferred maintenance.” Still, the character of the house, which still had many of its original built-ins and fixtures, attracted them.

The bones were good, the potential was there, but the old girl definitely needed a face-lift and some new internal organs.

“The thing that I think scared most people were the termites. But it was funny, the termite guys were the ones all bidding on the house so they weren’t too worried,” said Vasquez.

The inspection package was thick, said Bosse. Besides the termite damage and some water damage, the house needed to be brought up to code with a new roof and modern wiring, including new electrical and heating systems. There were also a few walls the couple decided to remove to improve the floor plan.

“We gave Susan a sledgehammer last week. I can show you the little video,” laughed Vasquez.

“It was pretty fun. I mean when else am I going to get a chance to hit a wall and knock it down,” said Bosse. It was also a good stress reliever for Bosse, who was planning her May 30 wedding to Vasquez at the time.

While some of original hardwood floors were in good shape, some needed to be redone, along with the bathroom and kitchen. “There was still food in the refrigerator,” said Bosse.

Despite the extensive improvements, Vasquez was pleased by the speedy progress his crew was making and prepared for the expense. They got estimates for the repairs up front, before deciding they could afford the house.

“The thing is we found is the cost is the people, the labor, it’s not the materials,” said Vasquez. “The materials are nothing, so if they’re in here (working), might as well make it exactly how you want because it’s not any more expensive to make it boring as it is to make it more interesting.”

Originally published in South Coast Beacon

First Time Home Buyers: Going Condo

Image by phanlop88 freedigitalimages.net

Image by phanlop88 freedigitalimages.net

The quest to buy a condominium on the South Coast can be grueling on the nerves. “It was crazy. You’d go out and at every open house … you’d see all the same people all the time,” said Cari Thomas, who recently purchased a San Roque condo with her husband Sam. “They started looking like your competition. Like you didn’t want to smile at anybody.”

“I think our biggest surprise was the amount of demand and the fact that there were multiple offers over the asking price,” said Sam. The Thomases looked at dozens of condos and were outbid on six different places before purchasing their new home at 3663 San Remo Drive for $560,000.

We feel like we lucked out, said Cari.

“Once you get a firm understanding of the market, your standards change a little bit. There were places the first weekend we looked that were significantly less money that were not as nice, but a month and a half later we were wishing we would have made offers on those ones that we saw early on,” said Sam.

As is the case with many first-time homebuyers, the two-bedroom, two-bath place the Thomases purchased was more expensive than what they originally budgeted for. When their realtor, Judith McDermott from Village Properties, urged them to “Just drive by and see what you can get for that amount,” they immediately liked it enough to call their loan broker and make the arrangements to make an offer.

“We put five percent down and are using an interest only loan. Some of the money was from savings, some was from a previous 401K plan, and some was an investment from friends,” said Sam.

Part of what sold them on the condo was its immediate livability. “The paint, it’s amazing what paint and color can do. And it was decorated really nicely and the mountain view was pretty,” said Cari. She also liked the fact that the condo overlooks a pool and the rooms were pretty spacious compared to other condominiums.

“It definitely felt modern and we liked how they redid all the architecture on the outside,” said Sam, noting that the kitchen appliances were upgraded three years ago when the complex was converted from apartments to condominiums.

The fact that the association fees were comparatively low was also a plus for the Thomases. Another advantage was the location, close to downtown and their workplace, Cima Management.

At the time of their purchase, they simply saw the Hope School District location as a plus for the condominium’s resale value. However, the Thomases have since learned they’re expecting their first child in November.

“It (the school district) wasn’t something we were searching for initially, but now it worked out great,” Cari said.

Originally published in South Coast Beacon

We’ll save you money in 30 Steps

Follow these tips to keep money in your pockets

Who isn’t looking for ways to save some cash? Here’s a month’s worth of money-saving tips — some big, some not so big — to start developing good financial habits.

1. Pay off credit weekly. Credit-card companies accrue interest daily, so if the minimum amount due is $100, send $25 weekly instead of paying at the end of the month to save money on interest.

2. Claim the child tax credit on your return, advises Babytalk Finance Guide. Depending on your income, this credit can shave as much as $1,000 from your taxes.

3. Get a “family share” cell-phone plan. A regular 400-minute plan is about $40 a month, but share an 800-minute plan with your spouse for just $70 and you save $10.

4. Hector A. Jimenez of West Coast Mortgage recommends comparing points, costs and interest rates when refinancing. “You may have to pay a higher interest rate over the life of the loan if you get a ‘no point’ loan,” he said. “Always ask your broker if rebate pricing is involved on your loan.”

5. When searching for the cheapest airline tickets, shop early in the morning. According to Consumer Credit Counseling Service, most airlines and travel sites introduce their promotional fares in the middle of the night.

6. CCCS also suggests you consider adjusting your withholding allowances to cover what you owe and no more. The average income tax refund in 2003 was more than $2,000, so Uncle Sam got to use that $166 each month instead of you.

7. To shave years off of your mortgage and save thousands of dollars in interest, send in one extra principal payment each year, advises CCCS. Or, divide your monthly payment by 12, and add that amount to each payment, noting that it is for principal only.

8. Want to transfer your tax basis under Proposition 60, but the home you’re buying is more than your current residence? Jon Mahoney of Coldwell Banker suggests paying all or part of real estate commissions separately, thereby reducing the purchase amount. “This can save you thousands of dollars every year,” he said.

9. The online forum, wwww.savingadvice.com, recommends participating in a child-care flexible spending account if your employer has one. This is a special Internal Revenue Service account that allows you to set aside money for child-care expenses with pre-tax dollars.

To save money on college expenses, savingadvice.com offers these tips:

10. Although application deadlines for most college scholarships aren’t due until senior year, start searching for grants and scholarships freshman year. By finding potential awards when your child begins high school, he or she can choose classes and participate in activities that will provide a better chance of getting free cash.

11. Education IRAs (Coverdell Education Savings Accounts) are no longer just for college. You may contribute up to $2,000 a year per beneficiary, and the money may now be used for elementary and secondary school costs as well as college expenses.

12. Reduce your college expenses by earning as many college credits outside the classroom as possible. Advanced Placement tests, internships, public service and job- training programs are a few examples of ways you can trim tuition costs by earning college credit outside the classroom.

13. There are some 750,000 college scholarships available to qualified students. While many of these are financial need- and grade-based, many others aren’t. Don’t let household income or grades stop you from searching for scholarships.

14. You’re allowed to pay any amount for an unlimited number of people’s college tuitions — not room and board or school supplies — without owing any gift taxes. For the tuition payments to qualify, you must pay the tuition directly to the college.

15. Signing up for a 401(k)? “Be sure to review the company benefit, and if there is a match, contribute the full amount necessary to take full advantage,” recommended Rich Schuette, senior advisor for TS Capital Group. “If you don’t, it’s like leaving free money on the table and can cost you tens of thousands of dollars over your working career.”

16. Consider a high deductible health insurance plan if available and save the difference in premium into an HSA (health savings account), advises Schuette. The money is tax deductible and will grow tax deferred, giving you the possibility of paying for many medical needs with tax-free money.

17. If you own rental property, consider working for your own property management company and start an additional retirement plan for yourself, lowering your tax liability and growing your retirement assets, suggests Schuette.

18. Pat Veretto of Frugal Living recommends: “Raise your auto insurance deductible and your premium will drop. If you now have $100 deductible, raise it to $500 or even $1,000 if you can do it and your insurance company allows it. Put that amount in a savings account and leave it to earn interest. If you don’t have an accident, it’ll still be yours and you’ll be making a little money on it. Even if you do have an accident, you’ll have the money to pay up. You won’t have lost anything because the difference in the premium will probably already have made up for any amount you have to pay on your own.”

19. Go digital. If you take 48 pictures a month, a digital camera can save you $20 a month, plus you don’t have all those not-up-to-par prints sitting around in boxes.

20. If you don’t keep good records, you’re probably not claiming all of your allowable income tax deductions and credits, advises Deborah Fowles in Your Guide to Financial Planning. “Set up a system now and use it all year. It’s much easier than scrambling to find everything at tax time, only to miss items that might have saved you money.”

21. “You’ve probably heard of the famous real estate mantra ‘location, location, location,’ but do you know the financial mantra ‘tracking, tracking, tracking?’ It is the single most important thing you can do — and the first step — to put you in the driver’s seat of your own life,” according to Linda Starr of Budget-Tools-and-Tips.com.

22. You may lower the price of a round-trip airfare by as much as two-thirds by making certain you stay over a Saturday evening, and by purchasing the ticket in advance, recommends Starr.

23. In these days of rising gas prices, she also suggests you can save money on gas by keeping your engine tuned and your tires inflated to their proper pressure.

Don’t just look to the present when it comes to finance, Candace Bahr and Ginita Wall, authors of It’s More Than Money-It’s Your Life: The New Money Club for Women, advise teaching children about financial decision-making by:

24. Starting allowances early, around age 5 or 6. Don’t let your children get in the habit of asking you for cash rather than choosing responsibly how to save and spend their own money.

25. Teach children how credit cards work. If children know how the cards work before they get one, they may be able to handle the responsibility better than teens who get a card and know nothing about them.

26. Starting a family Money Club. Your older teens may benefit from being included in a Money Club where they can report to other family members about money issues and help make group decisions.

Save money at the grocery store with these tips from www.grocerysavingstips.com.

27. When a product is on sale like “two for $5” you can almost always purchase just one of the items for the sale price (which in this case would be $2.50). In other words, you do not have to purchase two, or three, or four, or whatever else the sale sign says.

28. Don’t be brand loyal. Try to buy only what’s on sale. Sometimes a name brand can even be on sale for the same price as the store brand, or less, so read those tags carefully.

29. If you have a magazine you tend to keep picking up each month while you’re at the grocery just subscribe to the darn thing and save yourself $20!

30. In case these financial tips are coming a little too late and you need to file for bankruptcy, Ira and Linda Distenfield recently published We The People’s Guide to Bankruptcy, which helps consumers file for bankruptcy as affordably and painlessly as possible, before new federal laws go into effect in October.

Beacon intern Katherine Manning contributed to this report.

Originally published in the South Coast Beacon.