Tag Archives: Leslie Dinaberg

My Gym Diary

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© Tadija | Dreamstime Stock Photos & Stock Free Images

© Tadija | Dreamstime Stock Photos & Stock Free Images

The Weight Watchers theory is that writing down what you eat can make you lose weight, so I decided to keep a going-to-the-gym-diary to help me get in better shape. Here is what happened my first seven (non-consecutive) days at the gym.

Day 1- Feel That Credit Card Burn

Like most new endeavors, getting in shape takes motivation, determination, commitment, and cold, hard cash. I want to change my life, so buying the “lifetime gym membership”–where I pay $45 a month for the rest of my life, regardless of whether I ever break a sweat–seems like a really good idea.

I’ll also need new shoes, socks, a gym bag, sweats, a heart rate monitor, water bottle, an iPod and a lifetime subscription to “Ahnold Magazine” to get started on my journey.

No wonder all these people are wiping off their equipment with $20 bills. I guess that’s the price you pay to get in shape.

Day 2 – Just Do It

There’s nothing like new shoes to put a spring in my step. I drive the 12 blocks from my house to the gym, then circle around the lot 17 times before parking 3 blocks away. I’m exhausted before I set foot in the door.

I see some moms I know from school and end up chatting for an hour, while I occasionally look appreciatively at the equipment. If you’re at the gym, does that time count as a workout? I decide that it does and feel a little superior as I leave and notice the same three cars from an hour and a half ago still waiting for parking.

Day 3 – Checking Things Out

I go up to the weight room to look around. The grunting, the cyborg noises and the mirrors all bring back horror movie flashbacks and the armpit-vomit smell reminds me of my college dorm. Maybe I’ll try the cardio machines.

I’m still learning to use the equipment, so I peek over at Skinny Sally’s control panel to see what level and program she’s using on the elliptical machine. Of course I’m not very subtle and almost lose my balance trying to crane my neck for a better view. Must be the traction on my new shoes!

She gives me a dirty, sweaty, scary stare and quickly throws her towel over the lit up panel. Meow! It’s not like I was snooping in her purse, and why is it filled with ex-lax and breath mints?

Day 4 – Not Checking Things Out

I can’t stand it any longer. My bladder’s about to burst like a wicked rhinoceros. I force myself to go into the locker room to pee. As I wash my hands, I try to avoid making eye contact with Skinny Sally, who is completely nude except for her hair dryer, and now friendly as can be.

I sit down on a bench to compose myself.

When I look up, there’s a 95-year-old naked woman, Wrinkled Rhonda, two inches away from my face.

Day 5 – Real Time Versus Gym Time

I keep switching treadmills, but they are all defective. There’s no way I’ve only been working out for 17 minutes. It’s been at least an hour. I try to focus on what I’ll write my column about next week. If I’m thinking about work, can I bill for my time? I would call my accountant, but the gym has gotten very strict about enforcing their no cell phone policy on the gym floor and in the locker rooms–and I don’t have an accountant. Earlier today, Wrinkled Rhonda was naked in the hallway, taking a call from her great great great great grandson.

Day 6 – Power Reading

I have an epiphany. If you read while you’re on the treadmill, the time goes by faster. I should be reading War and Peace for my book club, but Bolkonski and Tolstoy are a lot less compelling than finding out what’s going on with Carmen Electra and Joan Jett.

Is reading the “National Enquirer” at the gym the same as reading it in the grocery store? I’m pretty sure that as long as you read it standing up, then it doesn’t have any calories.

Day 7 — Look Out

I’ve discovered something else about reading at the gym. I can’t read with my glasses and I can’t see other people without them. This is good and bad. My sister still hasn’t forgiven me for not recognizing her the other day. Give me a break. She was pretty sweaty, and very blurry.

On the other hand, if I don’t make eye contact with my high school homecoming date over there on the elliptical machine, maybe he won’t recognize me. Of course I’m twice the woman I was back then–hence the gym membership–so there’s no way he’d recognize me.

I remember from theatre arts that if you’re backstage and you can’t see the audience, they can’t see you either. I wonder if this is how it works at the gym? Maybe I should just take off my glasses when I look at the scale and forget about the gym completely.

Originally appeared in the Santa Barbara Daily Sound March 30, 2007

The Amazing Adventures of Danger Boy and Wimpy Mom

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© Kapu | Dreamstime Stock Photos & Stock Free Images

© Kapu | Dreamstime Stock Photos & Stock Free Images

I stared up at Koss in amazement, as he confidently donned his bike helmet and harness to climb Gibraltar Rock. He looked so little, just a wisp of a boy, yet so excited and sure of himself. I couldn’t help but be impressed. Then I looked down at Rattlesnake Canyon 150 feet below, and almost lost my footing–and my lunch.

What kind of nut job mom lets their seven-year-old kid climb a mountain? Yet, there I was, terrified and shaking, watching from the side of the road. My Little Danger Boy was about to try rock climbing for the first time, with only a rope, a helmet and a harness to protect him from harm.

It was all his teacher’s fault. Teacher Danger Boy is an avid rock climber, and he promised the kids he would take them climbing as a belated Christmas gift. Talk about the gift that keeps on giving–grey hairs. Now it was time for him to “pay up on his promise,” and I was a wreck.

Under normal circumstances I wouldn’t have been anywhere near the mountain. It’s been well documented that I’m not exactly the queen of all things daring and dangerous. My fears are completely rational. When I was 16 years old I took a 25-foot spill down a cliff onto the beach, and therefore all cliffs–even biggish sand dunes–are extremely dangerous and should be avoided at all costs.

OK, I was wearing flip-flops and was too busy flirting with the boy I was with to pay attention to my footing, but that doesn’t change the fact that all cliffs–and even biggish sand dunes–are extremely dangerous and should be avoided at all costs.

But see, Big Danger Boy (a.k.a. my husband Zak) was off on a dangerous “mancation” of his own that day, kayaking down boulder-filled rivers, drinking way too much and supervising a bunch of Neanderthals wobbling their way through a testosterone- and alcohol-fueled makeshift firewalk.

Since Zak was unavailable, I had to be there to “supervise” Koss’s rock climbing adventure. I warned his teacher that I would be watching from the side of the road. Unfortunately, Teacher Danger Boy didn’t pick up on the massive waves of “please don’t make me come and watch this” vibes I was sending his way, and said it would be just fine for me to watch from afar. I could have strangled him with my bare hands, but Koss really wanted to go, and his Wimpy Mom just didn’t have the heart to say no.

Clearly I was the one that needed a helmet to protect me from the blow to the head I must have suffered that got me to edge of this cliff (if 20 feet away is still “edge”).

I flashed back to Big Danger Boy’s skydiving adventure a few years back. I spent what should have been a lovely Saturday with my nerves shot, chained to the telephone. I could have killed him when he came back with a house full of pumped-up revelers, complaining of groin pain.

This time there was stomach pain (mine) as I grabbed my camera with one hand and a tree to steady myself with the other. I don’t even like writing about this, it just wigs me out again. If I could have sent him up there with full body armor and a hovering helicopter I would have, but all I could do at that point was cross my white knuckles, fingers, toes, and eyes and watch from afar as Koss climbed up that mountain like it was the most natural thing in the world.

Through the zoom lens of my camera I could see the huge smile on his face when he got to the top. He was so pumped up and proud of himself. For a split second I thought that maybe I wasn’t such a Wimpy Mom after all.

Originally appeared in the Santa Barbara Daily Sound on June 8, 2007

My Destination Vacation

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© Dushenina | Dreamstime Stock Photos & Stock Free Images

© Dushenina | Dreamstime Stock Photos & Stock Free Images

While most of Santa Barbara was schussing down the slopes at Mammoth or slathering on the sunscreen in Hawaii, I spent my spring break on a guilt trip, once again. I’m a creature of habit and guilt trips are definitely my vacation destination of choice.

Well, not exactly “choice.”

I’d rather be drinking upside down margaritas in Mexico, or yachting in Europe without a care in the world, but given my current bank account, that wasn’t going to be happening this year–again. Like most other creative types who feel incredibly lucky just to be able to eke out a living without selling their souls, when there’s work to be had, I have to work.

Last week just happened to be one of those weeks. It also just happened to be the first week of Koss’s spring break. Yes, that wasn’t a typo. The FIRST week of his spring break. Apparently the families in our school district worked so hard for the three months after our three-week winter break that they need a two-week spring break to oh, say, ski in Mammoth or sun in Hawaii.

Not that I’m bitter or anything. If I could afford to take FIVE weeks off in the middle of the school year and go somewhere glamorous, I’d do it in a heartbeat. I’m sure if I left out enough bowls of cereal, the kid would be fine.

Instead, I sent my son to camp, where he golfed, bowled, fished, hiked, learned a few swear words, and had a marvelous time. I, of course, felt incredibly guilty.

Despite the fact that I take my son to school every day, spend a ridiculous amount of time volunteering at his school when I should be working, then pick my son up from that same school every single day, have a semi-nutritious snack waiting for him in the car, and am always there after school to help him with his homework, schedule play dates, play handball, and take him to soccer/basketball/baseball/whatever else is in season practice–if I spend even a small part of his school breaks working, I feel guilty. If I spend a large part of those breaks working, I feel really guilty.

And if, as was the case last week, I spend a part of those school breaks actually taking a break for myself, say by putting him in camp all day while I do some writing and then go to the movies, I feel really, really guilty. Especially when my husband surprises me and says he wants to go to the movies one night during the week. Do I admit that I’ve actually already seen everything worth seeing? Then I’ll feel really guilty since he’s the one who’s been working full time while I’m doing full time chauffer/ part time career thing from home, which is actually harder, I know, because I’ve worked full time before when he stayed at home, but I feel guilty saying that because I know he’d switch positions with me in a heartbeat if I’d let him.

It’s a vicious cycle. But I’m comforted to know that I’m not the only woman who was raised on a diet of guilt (though mine was well seasoned with plenty of humor, I should add, so that I won’t feel too guilty when my mother reads this). A recent article in the Washington Post told the story of a woman in Virginia who felt so guilty about leaving her family in the evening that she almost missed out on an interesting lecture–titled “Mommy Guilt.”

Honey, I feel your pain, but I’ve decided to play through it anyway.

Rather than guilt tripping about my need to have a little bit of time to myself–and taking it anyway–I’m going to make friends with my guilt and take it on a few more outings this week. You won’t see us on the slopes, unfortunately, but maybe you’ll see us at the movies.

Originally appeared in the Santa Barbara Daily Sound April 6, 2007

Education 101

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Are Santa Barbara Schools Making the Grade?

Education 101, story from Santa Barbara Magazine

Education 101, from Santa Barbara Magazine

Education 101, from Santa Barbara Magazine

For better or worse, the days when parents would simply whisk their children off to the nearest school are long gone. Discussions of “where are you sending your child?” dominate local parks, pediatrician’s offices and preschool playgrounds. While there’s no such thing as a one-size-fits-all approach to education, luckily we have lots of options in Santa Barbara. In general, our schools are getting better too–a concerted effort is underway to narrow the achievement gap between middle- to upper-class and low-income students. “Our schools are improving,” according to experts including longtime local educator Gerrie Fausett, the current superintendent of the Hope School District and former principal of Santa Barbara Junior High and Washington Elementary School on the Mesa. She says that schools are “doing a better job educating our students, and have particularly improved in their work with students that are not meeting academic expectations. The improvements and the dedication to making sure that kids are learning what they need to learn are moving forward.” Continue reading →

A passion for philanthropy

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New consulting ventures offer nonprofit groups much more than the sum of their parts

BY LESLIE DINABERG

The fabric of Santa Barbara’s intricately embroidered nonprofit community has some new embellishments in its design, as two consulting groups have recently announced their formations: The Crandell Company and Resource Innovators. Continue reading →

Take Your Daughters to Work Day

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“I know that girls can be anything that they want to be,” said featured speaker Barbara Ibarra Keyani as she shared her moving story of going “beyond her barrio” to UCSB, MIT, becoming a mother of two daughters now in college and her current position with the Santa Barbara School Districts with the 80 girls and 50 women who participated in Girls Incorporated’s annual Take Our Daughters to Work Day on May 24. Continue reading →

Mating in the Millennium

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Stuart Miles (Freedigitalphotos.net)

Stuart Miles (Freedigitalphotos.net)

The singles scene is changing fast.

Leslie Dinaberg tags along to dig up the dish on blind dating — 21st-century style.

MAN SEEKING WOMAN: Funny guy with killer body and money to burn seeks woman who doesn’t believe everything she reads.

Eye catching ad, isn’t it? It should be. That’s the online dating promo for professional online personal ad writer Evan Marc Katz, founder of e-cyrano.com, just one of the many Web sites for people who are looking for love in all kinds of interesting places. Continue reading →

Making their presence felt

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Women's Fund of Santa BarbaraWomen’s Fund getting more bang for bucks

Looking for a low-key, high-impact way to tap into the power of collective philanthropy, Carol Palladini was inspired when she read a Los Angeles Times article about the Everychild Foundation. The idea is simple. Take the time, energy, and money spent on mounting and attending elaborate fund raisers and write a single check once a year.

The appeal was also simple: “Many women in the Santa Barbara area feel not only a need, but an obligation to be a powerful force for good in our community,” Palladini wrote in the invitation letter to the inaugural members of the Women’s Fund of Santa Barbara.

A few short months after that initial request, the Women’s Fund awarded its first donations on Jan. 31, giving $105,000 to the Santa Barbara Neighborhood Clinic’s Eastside Family Dental Clinic and $35,000 to two St. Vincent’s programs, PATHS (Program of Affordable Transitional Housing and Services) and Casa Alegria, an infant and toddler care facility.

“A group of women had been meeting at the Santa Barbara Foundation to talk about women and philanthropy,” explained Palladini. That group eventually evolved into a founding committee that included Palladini, Peri Harcourt, Shirley Ann Hurley, Jean Kaplan, Dale Kern, Joanne Rapp, Elna Scheinfeld, Meredith Scott, Anne Smith, Kay Stern, Marsha Wayne and Fritzie Yamin, as well as Raynette Cornejo, the Santa Barbara Foundation liaison.

Their intention was to take a year to develop the plan for the Women’s Fund, “but people started calling and saying ‘when can we write checks?’ which is amazing because usually you have to cajole and pull money out of people,” said Palladini.

“All it took was a letter of invitation to 500 women and the money started coming in,” said Palladini.

Each member contributes a minimum of $2,500 per year, which is then deposited in Donor Advised Fund administered by the Santa Barbara Foundation. At the end of the year, 90 percent of the funds collected are donated to one or more local nonprofit organizations.

“Our umbrella for giving is meeting unmet needs for women, children and families in the greater Santa Barbara area,” said Palladini. “The main goal is not to divvy it up in little tidbits, so that the impact of collective women’s giving is really felt.”

Granting is decided by a simple majority vote of members. Women who wish to ease the cost of dues may form a donor group, which then shares one vote in how the money is spent.

To join, send a check payable to Women’s Fund of Santa Barbara, c/o Santa Barbara Foundation, 15 E. Carrillo St., Santa Barbara 93101. For more information, contact Palladini at 565.0342 or e-mail her at carolpall@earthlink.net.

Originally published in South Coast Beacon in 2007.

Generation BMX

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Young racers test their mettle with their pedals

Faster, higher and often younger than you might imagine, BMX racers are tearing up the dirt at Elings Park every Friday night.

Elings Park BMX (courtesy photo)

Elings Park BMX (courtesy photo)

The sport, which first became popular in the 1970s, is one of the fastest-growing competitions in the country, partially due to the popularity of the X Games and BMX-inspired DVDs, video and computer games. BMX (bicycle motocross) is scheduled to become an Olympic sport in 2008 and, according to Dale Bowers, track director of Santa Barbara BMX, there are three or four local bikers who “could be peaking” at that time.

Several local BMX racers will be competing in the National Bicycle League NBL Grands in Louisville, Ky., this weekend, including Logan Beebe, Chris Burke, Austin Davis, Michael Davis, Austin Hamilton, Jarrett Kolich Kolich, Amber Melgoza, Brianna Wiley and Jason Wiley.

While the level of expertise in Santa Barbara is high, Bowers emphasized that there’s a BMX skill level race for everyone, including beginners — and grownups. If you can ride a bike, you can BMX, which means there are some pretty impressive 5- and 6-year-olds out there.

Racers work their way up, depending on their age and how good they are, said Scott Berry, a 13-year-old La Colina Junior High student.

“I saw commercials on TV and really wanted to try it … we came up on a Friday night and just watched,” he said. “I just liked what I saw and wanted to try it.”

Bowers recommended that interested families follow Scott’s lead: just come to the track and check it out. “It doesn’t cost anything to come in and watch. Not much you can do for free on a Friday night, and its exciting entertainment.”

For participants, too, BMX is very affordable, said Scott’s mother, Debbie Carder.

It costs $45 per year to join the NBL, with a 30-day trial membership available for $30 (which is credited toward the full membership). Races, which take place most Fridays beginning at 6 p.m., are $8, and practices, at 6 p.m. Wednesdays, are $5.

“They’re so helpful, too,” emphasized Carder. “Even the older kids … they take the time to help the little ones. They go out of their way. They’re not snotty. They just take them under their wing … without being asked. It’s kind of like a family in a way.”

Originally published in South Coast Beacon

Noozhawk Talks: Leslie Dinaberg Sits Down With Suzanne Farwell

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Suzanne Farwell, LaraCooper / Noozhawk photo

Suzanne Farwell, LaraCooper / Noozhawk photo

As Director of Communications, Suzanne Farwell is often the voice for the Santa Barbara Foundation, connecting all of us with information about the good work the foundation is doing in the community. Farwell connects with Leslie Dinaberg
to reflect on her work and her life, as she prepares to retire later this month.

Leslie Dinaberg: What will you miss the most about your job at the Santa Barbara
Foundation?

Suzanne Farwell: The people I work with. One of the reasons I like working there is because I
work with people who are passionate about what they do and helping people.

…The other thing I really like about my job is it has so many facets where I’m
gathering information, so I’m learning about many different things every day. …
I’m learning about different philanthropic groups that pop up through us. It’s the
whole canvas of interesting wonderful things that are positive. …

LD: That’s great. In many ways I think Santa Barbara Foundation seems like an
ideal nonprofit job in that you would never get bored because you’re dealing with
so many different types of things.

SF: And now there’s the added component of a new boss who is coming in (Ron
Gallo replaced Chuck Slosser as CEO this year) with fresh ideas and that’s also
very exciting.

LD: So what made you decide to retire now?

SF: Well a couple of things. The major reason is my daughter has a little boy who
is 14 months old and he is a sweetheart and I don’t get to see him much. And my
son is getting married and in every family there needs to be someone at the
center who doesn’t necessarily actually need to do anything but who is that
center and there’s much I can’t do with this job. … I hope to do some projects for
the foundation that I am intensely interested in, and I’m still young enough to be
able to open my mind to lots of other things and who knows. I’m trying to have a
fertile ground and so as things pop up they take root. But I can’t open it up
without cutting back on the work. But it seems like a good time. I’m also looking
forward to spending more time with my husband at home.

LD: I would imagine that’s its very demanding work.

SF: It is, but that’s what good about it is I use every brain cell.

LD: I know you worked on a lot of great programs while you were at the Santa
Barbara Foundation, but are there any that are particularly near and dear to your
heart?

SF: The first year I was there we were about to celebrate the Foundation’s 75th
anniversary. So there was a book, a history book for the anniversary project to
coordinate and then there was a gala performing arts presentation at the Lobero.
That was fantastic. Then there was a symposium about the future of
philanthropy. That was all in one year. That was really something. …

I think one of my favorites was a book about the blind doctor, Dr. Pearlman. … A
little old lady comes to us and she wants to leave us a million dollars part of the
deal is that we publish her manuscript. Well, you can imagine a little old lady’s
manuscript. What will we do with that? Well, you read it and it turned out to be a
really compelling human story so we shepherded that project, we got a local
publisher; the whole thing was really heartwarming. And it’s always nice to have
tangible evidence of what you’ve done because most of mine is ephemeral.

LD: I’ve seen that project and it’s very, very cool.

SF: Yes, and the idea that we would be following through on the donor’s wishes
which is always very important. And it’s a book that opens people’s eyes to what
it is like to be blind as a society, as a world society we could all that to
understand what it’s like to be in someone else’s shoes.

… It’s fascinating. I get something out of every single project. I know the
foundation’s history better than anybody.

LD: Do you have any trips planned or any immediate plans as soon as you’re
done?

SF: Everybody asks me that. … My husband and I have traveled a lot and I just
plan to stay home for a while and just be there. I live in a wonderful place. I want
to just sit on the porch, watch the birds and just still the mind a little bit because
I’m always thinking about philanthropy and this and that and it’s going to take a
while for that to go away because I’m always going at 60 miles an hour.

LD: What else do you do like to do with your spare time?

SF: Well I love to read. I’ve also been a professional dancer for 30 years and I
still do it two or three times a month. I’ve been with Chef Karim since he
started.

LD: I didn’t know that.

SF: So that’s in my blood. And I love to move, so it would be fun to explore
different forms of dance. I don’t know it’s mainly a stilling of the mind to allow
other things to come up. It sounds like I’m not going to do anything.

LD: You need a break, that’s what it sounds like to me.

SF: So I’m opening doors and letting things in.

LD: How did you get started with belly dancing?

SF: My husband and I were living at Married Student Housing at UCSB because
we were both graduate students. I was getting my masters in French and he was
getting a PhD in counseling psych and a woman moved in who was a belly
dancer, new to town. He was dabbling in photography at the time, she needed
photos, so they made a deal. He said I’ll take photos of you and why don’t you
give Suzanne some lessons. I was very annoyed. I was not consulted. I was
almost insulted.

So I went and I took a couple of lessons and said this is really weird. But then my
teacher put on a show with three other dancers and I went and I was hit in the
head by a bat. That proverbial light bulb was like, ah, that’s what I want. Yes. I
want to be that person on the stage. Because it’s so alluring and beautiful and
that was it I set on a path and my poor husband never imagined that this would
happen. And it became overwhelming. It changed my life because I learned to
relate to people in a different way. I was very British at the time, very shy and I
learned to handle myself. I did Belly Grams for years where I would go to offices,
homes, wherever and do a ten minute dance and congratulate the birthday
person and whatever it was and so I was in mansions in Montecito, barbecues on
Milpas, offices all over, it was fantastic, so I got a look at America that I never
would have had, and it was for me about Americans. A great education… It’s
added a spark to my life.

LD: Keeps you in shape too.

SF: It does. And like anybody else I’ve had experiences and I’ve taken from them
and learned and it’s made me who I am today, and I hope to have many more of
them…

LD: How did you go from getting your masters in French and becoming a belly
dancer to working in the nonprofit world?

SF: I was a stay at home mom and I took that very seriously. I spent a lot of time
with my kids educating them in every way that I could. When our daughter, the
younger of the two, went to high school, my husband said, “well you know, this is
a good time to get a job.” I was panicked because I had not ever really, really had
a job.

I’d worked as a caterer for many years and I worked at Jane Fonda’s ranch. … I
applied for a job at the museum and they hired me and then I thought to myself
as I sat at the desk the first day, what am I doing. This could be the shortest job
in history. Then I calmed down and I just applied the idea that what would I want
to know being Jill Six Pack on the street, because I didn’t know that much about
the museum and I went on from there and it all worked out very nicely.

Vital Stats: Suzanne Farwell

Born: January 30, in London, England to a French mother and a British
father

Family: Husband Larry Farwell; two grown children, Nick, who lives in Seattle,
and Lara, who lives in Palo Alto; and a grandson, Bennett, 14 months.

Professional Accomplishments: Masters Degree in French; Chef/Caterer at Jane
Fonda’s Ranch; Worked in communications for Santa Barbara Museum of
Natural History; Voiceover Artist, now voices the calendar on KDB radio station;
Professional Belly Dancer; Director of Communications for the Santa Barbara
Foundation.

Best Book You’ve Read Recently: Kate Wilhelm’s “Barbara Holloway” series of
mysteries and Orson Scott Card’s “Ender’s Game” series.

Little-Known Fact: “I think I’ve exposed all of the little known facts. The dancing, I
don’t bring that out that much. They are really two separate things. When they
intersect it’s interesting, but it’s not the first thing out of my mouth.”

Originally published in Noozhawk on June 7, 2009. To read it there click here.