Category Archives: Features

Zoo campers to dive into ocean, water exploration

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Santa Barbara Zoo Train, courtesy Wikipedia Commons.

Santa Barbara Zoo Train, courtesy Wikipedia Commons.

Summer visitors to the Santa Barbara Zoo will look beyond the East Beach view to the vast world of the ocean, as two full years of activities begin to educate the public about the “Wonders of Water.”

“The populace of the United States is uneducated about the issues concerning water,” said Nancy H. McToldridge, the zoo’s chief operating officer. She is hoping to help change that by weaving water messages into all of the zoo’s events, promotions and educational programs, starting with zoo camp, which began its first session this week.

“Summer camp, that’s where it all starts. … It’s the most incredible program we have and the most important contribution that we make to the community,” said McToldridge.

“Anybody who works in a zoo or an aquarium or … in … conservation or anything that has to do with animals and wild places can trace their love of that back to some experience they had when they were very young.”

Education curator Heather Johnson, who began volunteering in 1986 as a junior zookeeper while attending Dos Pueblos High, is also bringing water awareness into the camp curriculum and school programs.

Wildlife Academy campers (sixth-seventh grade) will be able to have three full weeks of aquatic biology.

“That’s a special thing for us because the Wildlife Academy students are at a point in their lives where they are really exploring careers in science,” she said. “So they’re going to be taking field trips to the beach, they’re going to be actually doing a lot of things with the bird refuge, they’ll be taking water quality tests from all of our water habitats here at the zoo and they will be talking with our professionals … to find out how we ensure that there’s healthy habitats.”

Campers will also learn about native aquatic animals by conducting a census on East Beach.

This age group is fantastic to work with, Johnson said.

“They are starting to get very much into Animal Planet and Discovery Channel and choosing what they might want to pursue as career paths. … We’re hoping that we might inspire them to take some more science and math.”

Younger campers will also experience the wonders of water. First- and second-grade students will be talking about oceans and watery habitats, while Zoo Cadets (third through fifth grade) will learn about “what kind of animals need to live in the deep, deep, deep waters, the funky creatures that live down there in the dark, the ones that are almost see-through and have those funny characteristics that have like lights on their heads and things like that,” Johnson said.

Energy was high as the camp’s counselors finished up their training last week.

“You have an incredible opportunity with these 3-year-old, 4-year-old, 10-year-old minds that are wide open and you have the opportunity to be the person that makes a difference in that person’s life,” McToldridge told her charges.

“You may never know what you’ve done. … That a half-hour that you spent with one child may lead to an incredible discovery that will save animals and save people.”

Space is still available at the Santa Barbara Zoo’s camp for children aged 3 to entering seventh grade. Sessions run through Aug. 19, with camp hours from 9 a.m.-2 p.m. and extended care from 7:30 a.m.-5:30 p.m. Cost is $157 per week for camp and $225 per week with extended hours, with discounts for zoo members. For more information visit www.sbzoo.org or call 962-5339.

Ocean Education:

Everyday choices have an impact on the ocean and its many inhabitants. Here are some simple ways that families can help, from the American Zoo and Aquarium Association.

• Participate in beach and stream cleanups.

• Put trash in its proper place.

• Plant native plants.

• Make smart seafood choices. For a free guide, visit www.montereybayaquarium.org/cr/seafoodwatch.asp.

• Reduce oil use and limit run-off.

• Save water and electricity.

• Be pet smart. Ask your pet store for MAC (Marine Aquarium Council)-certified fish and be sure to scoop up pet poop.

• Don’t leave fishing lines behind.

• Follow boating laws to prevent problems for wildlife.

Originally published in South Coast Beacon on June 23, 2005.

When every day is Father’s Day

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Photo courtesy Pexels.com.

Photo courtesy Pexels.com.

The job may sound grueling on paper, but not to the growing ranks of the more than 98,000 stay-at-home fathers in the United States — and not to Steve Boelter, Danny Echt, Robert Hilton and John Kerman, at least not most of the time.

While their individual family dynamics, professional circumstances and points-of-view vary greatly, these South Coast stay-at-home fathers agree on one thing: putting in the time at home to create a close bond with their children is pretty darn terrific.

Robert Hilton: THE TRIPLE THREAT

“I never thought I’d ever be a father and here I am and it is just wonderful,” said Robert Hilton. A touching statement from any 58-year-old, to be sure, but even more tender considering that Hilton is the stay-at-home father to 2-year-old triplets, Heather, Elizabeth and Spencer.

“He was a confirmed bachelor. He married late in life, and then I really wanted a family, one child or maybe two,” laughed his wife, Marie Hathaway Hilton, who works for Medtronics in Goleta. “We did it and it was really a shock. It’s been a real shift in how you perceive yourself and what it means to be a man … but I think what comes through is that the children are very much loved and they know they are loved. … For someone who is the last person on earth you could imagine being a dad, he has just done a great job and you can see that with the kids.”

Following the sage advice of other parents of multiples, Hilton has the toddlers on a pretty strict schedule, “otherwise it would just be chaos.”

Early on the retired marine mechanic had help from three generations of family friends, Sheri Morris, Nicole Dominguez and their Nana. “They saved my hide,” Hilton said. But after about seven months, he was on his own with three babies while Marie was at work.

“I remember one night when I was feeding one of them … I was terrified. I hadn’t really gotten used to it yet and I was a nervous wreck. It was 4 in the morning and whichever one it was I was feeding reached up and grabbed my finger and smiled. And that just did it for me. That just took everything away,” Hilton said.

“When you start hearing your children laugh and they call you dada, it’s just astounding. So it keeps me going that they’re so happy.”

Steve Boelter: THE HAREM LEADER

Known to other Kellogg School volunteers as “Steve and his harem,” Steve Boelter stays at home with Michael, 8, and Mason, 4.

“I’m pretty much it (as far as male volunteers in class),” Boelter said. “It’s me and the women.”

Once the owner of now-defunct Goleta restaurants Jasper’s and Boelter’s Grill, Boelter became a full-time father when Mason was a year old. He was unemployed and his wife Lisa’s business, Anna’s Bakery, was doing well.

“It just seemed to make sense that rather than pay for day care, I would stay home with the guys,” he said. As far as the adjustment to full-time fatherhood, Boelter said he may have had it easier than most. “I was pretty lucky with the whole deal as far as owning the restaurant. I knew how to cook, and I knew how to do the business thing and the shopping … It would be a lot harder if you were working behind a computer … it definitely takes a certain personality.”

As for his friends, “for the most part, everybody thinks it’s great,” Boelter said. Although his staying at home “really bugs” his own mother, his mother-in-law is “much more understanding.”

Boelter plans to get back into the paid workforce but for now he said, “it’s really fun just to be in every part of their lives. They’re not little for a whole lot of time.”

Having time to coach Little League and soccer and “take advantage of the time and get in the best shape of your life” is a real treat for the competitive bike racer.

He said he really values things like recently being able to attend both performances of Michael’s second-grade play.

“I notice a big difference … with my older kid, the relationship that we both had when I was working. It was not very close, whereas now it’s very close,” Boelter said.

While he never imagined that stay-at-home fatherhood would be the path his life would take, Boelter is happy with the way things worked out.

“My life is great right now.”

John Kerman: THE CONTRARIAN

“If I had it to do it all over again I’d do it,” said John Kerman, who stays at home with 10-year-old Jimmy and 8-year-old Catie, who both attend Washington School. While Kerman and his wife, Evalyn, business manager for the Montecito Water District, were committed to having one parent stay at home with the children, they didn’t decide it would be John until he was laid off from his banking job while Evalyn was pregnant with Jimmy.

“We said, let’s try this for a little while,” Kerman said. “I think it started out being more of a temporary thing, but then it started dawning on us that this was working pretty well and we decided to stay with it because, in part, we developed this sort of a contrarian lifestyle.”

Both spouses and their children seem to be quite happy with their roles. When asked if they ever envy each other, Kerman said, “yeah, there were some moments like that. But recently I think we’re far enough along with this … everyone is happy to be where they are.”

Evalyn said the people who most often express envy are working dads, who wish they could stay home with their kids.

“It’s fantastic that she has given me this opportunity to do this,” Kerman said. “I tell her just how thankful I am that she’s willing to work and support our family and give me this opportunity, and to tolerate me as the stay-at-home parent.

“I had no idea how hard the job is. I have so much respect for what women have done for all these years. It’s a tremendously challenging thing to do and … we fumble along and do the best we can, but, boy, I tell you, I’m thrilled to do it,” he said.

“There can be a competitive aspect to parenting for some moms whereas I just do it like any other home-improvement project: Slap it together and do the best you can and move on.”

Danny Echt: THE NETWORKER

“You can’t compare jobs and kids. I hope that all of this will mean that when my kids are teenagers and later adults in life that we’ll have a good and meaningful relationship. And work can satisfy that, too, from the money and the things that you can provide,” said Danny Echt, who stays at home with 7-year-old Gabby and 5-year-old Hannah while his wife, Dr. Margaret “Meg” Echt, runs a busy OB/GYN practice

“But the time and … the things that you just don’t know are going to come up when you’re available to accept those are great. I’ve learned that it takes a lot of time, so maybe the best part is just not having to put a schedule to it,” said Echt.

The Echts both felt strongly that one parent should stay home with the kids, and it just so happened that Meg had recently finished her residency when she got pregnant.

“It just made financial sense,” said Echt, a former coach and teacher who still gives a few tennis lessons a week when he’s not volunteering at Hope School or working at the Oaks cooperative preschool.

Unlike some stay-at-home fathers who may be uncomfortable with the stay-at-home mother culture, Echt has embraced what he calls the “network of at-home people,” joining playgroups when the girls were little and choosing a cooperative preschool, in part, to meet more parents.

“It is so critical because at the same time that you want no structure (in the summer) you also want to be able to ring somebody and say ‘hey, let’s go meet by the pool or the park,’ and if you know that people are doing the same thing it’s great.”

While he loves his role as stay-at-home dad, Echt said he would also like to give his wife the chance to be at home with the girls.

“The sacrifice that Meg has made — aside from the physical work, which is tough — is missing those moments where you just kind of feel really lucky to be with your kids. I would love to be able to give her that opportunity. … The logistics I haven’t figured out, but I’d love that.”

Originally published in South Coast Beacon on June 16, 2005.

Parents Choice Awards

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When one person gives advice, you can take it or leave it. But when hundreds of people chime in on the best places to spend your time, and your money … well, it just makes sense to perk up your ears.

So listen up — and even take notes if you need to — these are the first annual Parent’s Choice Award winners, brought to you by SBParent.com, N.E.W. (Network of Enterprising Women), and the South Coast Beacon.

Birthday and Shower Invitations

Winner: Paper Ink

3325 State St.

Santa Barbara, CA 93105

687.3580

Honorable Mention: Glenda’s Party Cove

3319 State St.

Santa Barbara, CA 93105

687.4500

Whether you’re looking to create your own invitations, or buy them off the rack, Paper Ink has everything you could possibly need to announce the festivities. And honorable mention winner Glenda’s Party Cove is just a few steps away.

Holiday Cards

Winner: Costco

7095 Market Place Drive

Goleta, CA 93117

685.4461

With bargain prices on both photo cards and traditional boxed sets, it’s no wonder that Costco’s a local favorite.

Honorable Mention: P J’s Hallmark Shop

6990 Market Place Dr.

Goleta, CA 93117

685.5588

Birthday Supplies and Favors

Glenda’s Party Cove and Pacific Company were tied for first place. Luckily for you, they’re both located in Loreto Plaza, just a few doors down from one another.

Winner: Glenda’s Party Cove

3319 State St.

Santa Barbara, CA 93105

687.4500

Winner: Pacific Company

3309 State St. #A

Santa Barbara, CA 93105

682.9552

Place to Host a Birthday

Winner: My Gym, Children’s Fitness Center

3888 State St.

Santa Barbara, CA 93105

563.7336

www.my-gym.com

With an all-inclusive package that provides everything but the cake, My Gym is a great choice for busy parents with active kids.

Honorable Mention: local parks

Visit www.santabarbaraca.gov/Parks/ for information on facilities and rental availability for Santa Barbara City Parks and www.sbparks.org/ for Santa Barbara County Parks information.

Best Birthday Cakes

Winner: Costco

7095 Market Place Drive

Goleta, CA 93117

685.4461

Honorable Mention: Anna’s Bakery

7018 Market Place Dr.

Goleta, CA 93117

968.5590

For a big party, there’s no better value in town than Parent’s Choice winning Costco cake. Honorable Mention winner Anna’s Bakery, just across the parking lot at Camino Real Marketplace) is known for its creative decorations (the big wave surfing cake is a favorite) and having a wide variety of confections.

Babysitter

Grandma and Grandpa were the winners in this category, hands-down. However, if you’re not lucky enough to have grandparents in town, some of the other sitters mentioned were: Christin Allrich, Yolanda Espinoza, Erin Feeney, Jessica Fink , Kayla Howard-Anderson, Lauren Klapp, Caitlin Leff, Sara Martinovich , Christina Palacio, Pamela Palacio, Sloan Pettersen, Stacy Radujko, Nicole Richardson, Corrigan Speicher , Christina Villalovos, Sierra Young, Kristi Ware and Beth Williams.

Preschool

Winner: Circle of Friends Children’s Center

400 Puente Drive

Santa Barbara, CA 93110

692.8516

A perennial favorite among local parents, Circle of Friends is also known for having really fun fundraisers.

Honorable Mention: The Oaks Parent-Child Workshop

Director – Marilyn Statucki

605 W. Junipero St.

Santa Barbara. CA 93105

682.7609

Elementary School

Winner: Foothill Elementary School

711 Ribera Drive

Santa Barbara, CA 93111

681.1268

www.foothill.goleta.k12.ca.us/

Honorable Mention: Hope Elementary School

3970 La Colina Road

Santa Barbara, CA 93110

563.2974

www.sbceo.org/~hope/

Pediatrician

Not unexpectedly, given their longevity in town, the Children’s Medical Clinic dominated this category, with Dr. David Abbott (father) and Dr. Steven Abbott (son) coming out in first and second places. Sometimes it pays to go into the family business.

Winner: Dr. David Abbott

Children’s Medical Clinic

15 E. Arrellaga St.

Santa Barbara, CA 93101

965.1095

Honorable Mention: Dr. Steven Abbott

Children’s Medical Clinic

15 E. Arrellaga St.

Santa Barbara, CA 93101

965.1095

Honorable Mention: Dr. Gerard Brewer

2421 Bath St., Suite B

Santa Barbara, 93105

682.7771

Pediatric Dentist

Winner: Dr. Robert Ruby & Dr. Yvonne Rochon

15 E. Arrellaga St. Suite 4

Santa Barbara, CA 93101

963.4404

Honorable Mention: Dr. Steven Mascagno

2780 State St., Suite 5

Santa Barbara, CA 93105

687.4141

The American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry recommends a child’s first dental visit be by the time he is a year old. By age 3, the average child has three decayed teeth — and that is with only 50% of children seeing a dentist — so the earlier the better to prevent problems before they occur, said Dr. Marc Grossman.

Obstetrician/Gynecologist

Winner: Dr. Margaret Echt

2329 Oak Park Lane

Santa Barbara, CA 93105

682.8166

Honorable Mention: Dr. Susanne Ramos

Sansum-Santa Barbara Medical Foundation Clinic

515 W. Pueblo St.

Santa Barbara, 93105

681.8911

Honorable Mention: Dr. Ayesha Shaikh

2323 Oak Park Lane, Suite 202

Santa Barbara, 93105

687.5500

Occupational/Physical Therapist

Winner: Dr. Mark Brisby

5638 Hollister Ave., Suite 301

Goleta, CA 93117

681.7273

Family Therapist/Psychologist

Winner: Michael Madden

23 W. Mission St.

Santa Barbara, CA 93101

569.2272

Holistic Health Care

Winner: Maes Center for Natural Health Care

9 E. Mission St.

Santa Barbara, CA 93101

563.8660

www.maescenter.com

Honorable Mention: Santa Barbara Center for Natural Medicine

34 E. Sola St.

Santa Barbara, CA 93101

966.3003

www.sbcnm.com

Child Friendly Restaurants

Winner: California Pizza Kitchen

719 Paseo Nuevo (on Chapala St.)

Santa Barbara, CA 93101

962.4648

www.cpk.com

Honorable Mention: Beach Grill at Padaro

3765 Santa Claus Lane

Carpinteria, CA 93013

566.3900

Honorable Mention: Red Robin

3825 State St. (in La Cumbre Plaza)

Santa Barbara, CA 93105
687.4000

www.redrobin.com

California Pizza Kitchen has great kids meals, with sundaes as a special treat. You can’t beat the view – or the sandbox – at the Beach Grill at Padaro, and you can’t beat the bar at Red Robin.

Grocery Store

A lot of people discovered Trader Joe’s when the big chains went on strike last year, and apparently the appetite for well-priced, high-quality, health-conscious food has stuck.

Winner: Trader Joe’s

Trader Joe’s (Goleta)

5767 Calle Real

Goleta, CA 93117

692.2234

Trader Joe’s (Santa Barbara North)

3025 De La Vina

Santa Barbara, CA 93103

563.7383

Trader Joe’s (Santa Barbara South)

29 South Milpas St.

Santa Barbara, CA 93103

(805) 564-7878

www.traderjoes.com

Honorable Mention: Vons

1040 Coast Village Road (Montecito)

34 W. Victoria St. (Santa Barbara)

163 S. Turnpike Rd. (Santa Barbara)

3855 State St. (Santa Barbara)

165 N. Fairview Ave. (Goleta)

850 Linden Ave. (Carpinteria)

Grocery Delivery

A godsend for new parents who often have a hard time getting into the shower in those early weeks, let alone getting into the car, grocery delivery is fast becoming a way of life for many on the South Coast.

Winner: www.Albertsons.com

Health Food Store

Winner: Lazy Acres Market

302 Meigs Road

Santa Barbara, CA 93109

564.4410

www.lazyacres.com

Honorable Mention: Lassen’s Health Foods

5154 Hollister Ave,

Goleta, CA 93117

683.7696

Take-out Meals

Winner: Santa Barbara Chicken Ranch

Santa Barbara Chicken Ranch (Santa Barbara)

2618 De La Vina St.

Santa Barbara, CA 93105

569-1872

Santa Barbara Chicken Ranch (Goleta)

63 North Fairview Ave. (in the Fairview Shopping Center)

Goleta, CA 93117

569.1872

www.sbchickenranch.com

Honorable Mention: Fresco

3987 State St.

Santa Barbara, CA 93105

967.6037

Childbirth Classes

Winner: Cottage Health System

Both Santa Barbara Cottage Hospital (682.7111) and Goleta Valley Cottage Hospital (967.3411) childbirth classes had plenty of fans.

New Parent Classes

Winner: PEP- Baby Basics

Postpartum Education for Parents

564.3888

www.sbpep.org

Honorable Mention: Infant Times

Taught by Laura Sobell

Santa Barbara City College Adult Education

300 N. Turnpike Rd.

Santa Barbara, CA 93111

964.6853

Parent Support Groups

Winner: PEP (Postpartum Education for Parents)

564.3888

www.sbpep.org

Honorable Mention: Santa Barbara Parents of Multiples

www.santabarbaramoms.org/

Diaper Services

Winner: Enviro-Baby

2445 Murrell Rd.

Santa Barbara, CA 93109

967.5370

www.enviro-baby.com

Advertising that they’ve saved more than 574,276 diapers from Santa Barbara landfills as of Feb. 1, Enviro-Baby provides weekly pickup and delivery of cotton diapers, as well as odorless diaper pails.

Doulas and Nurses

Winner: Kitty Maxwell

682.5606

Art Supplies

Winner: Art Essentials

32 E. Victoria St.

Santa Barbara, CA 93101

965.5456

Honorable Mention: Michaels Arts and Crafts

187 North Fairview Ave.

Goleta, CA 93117

967.7119

www.michaels.com

Toys

Winner: Kernohans

Kernohans (Goleta) 5739 Calle Real

Goleta, CA 93117

964.6499

Kernohans (Santa Barbara)1324 State St. (in La Cumbre Plaza)

Santa Barbara, CA 93101

687.3777

www.kernohanstoys.com

Honorable Mention: KB Toys

136 S. Hope Ave #47 (in La Cumbre Plaza)

Santa Barbara, CA 93105

682.6026

Honorable Mention: Toyland

3821 Santa Claus Lane

Carpinteria, CA 93013

684.3515

Educational Materials

Winner: Bennett’s Educational Materials

5130 Hollister Ave.

Santa Barbara, CA 93111

964.8998

www.bennettseducational.com

Maternity Clothes

Winner: Due Maternity

1223 State St.

Santa Barbara, CA 93101

966.4400

www.duematernity.com

Honorable Mention: Motherhood Maternity

121 S. Hope Ave. (in La Cumbre Plaza)

Santa Barbara, CA 93105

682.7040

Kid’s Clothes

Winner: Gymboree Clothing

3815 State St. (in La Cumbre Plaza)

Santa Barbara, CA 93105

682.7773

www.gymboree.com

Honorable Mention: The Gap Kids

617 Paseo Nuevo

Santa Barbara, CA 93101

899.9124

Kid’s Shoes

Winner: Nordstrom

17 W. Canon Perdido St. (in Paseo Nuevo)

Santa Barbara, CA 93101

564.8770

www.nordstroms.com

Honorable Mention: Payless Shoe Stores

627 State St.

Santa Barbara, CA 93101

962.2866

197 S. Turnpike Road

Santa Barbara, CA 93111

683.1861

Used Kid’s Clothes and Toys

Winner: Polar Bear

726 Anacapa St.

Santa Barbara, CA 93101

965.6637

Honorable Mention: Replay

2945 De La Vina St.

Santa Barbara, CA 93105

569.1313

Kid’s Sports Equipment

Winner: Play it Again Sports

4850 Hollister Ave.

Santa Barbara, CA 93111

967.9889

www.playitagainsports.com

Honorable Mention: Sportmart

7035 Marketplace Dr.

Goleta, CA 93117

968.8551

Baby Furniture/Equipment

Winner: Baby Furniture & Accessories Santa Barbara

1936 De La Vina St.

Santa Barbara, CA 93101

682.7517

Honorable Mention: Chicken Little

1236 State St.

Santa Barbara, 93101

962.7771

Children’s Furniture

Winner: Hopscotch Fine Furnishings

110 South Hope Road (in La Cumbre Plaza)

Santa Barbara, CA 93105

730.1007

www.hopscotch.com

Honorable Mention: Baby Furniture & Accessories Santa Barbara

1936 De La Vina St.

Santa Barbara, CA 93101

682.7517

Bookstore for Kids

Winner: Chaucer’s Books

3321 State St.

Santa Barbara, CA 93105

682.4067

www.chaucers.booksense.com

Honorable Mention: Border’s Books, Music & Café

900 State St.

Santa Barbara, CA 93101

899.3668

7000 Marketplace Dr.

Goleta, CA 93117

968.1370

Kid’s Haircuts

Winner: Kids Cuts

4317 State St.

Santa Barbara, CA 93101

681.9596

With a child’s dream playroom full of toys and videos, there’s no need to be nervous about your baby’s first haircut. The only difficult thing about Kids Cuts is getting your kids to leave.

Honorable Mention: Tortoise and the Hare

1221 State St. #4 in Victoria Court

Santa Barbara, CA 93101

963.3393

Scrapbook Supplies

Winner: Santa Barbara Scrapbooks

918 Chapala St.

Santa Barbara, CA 93101

962.5099

www.sbscrapbooks.com

Not only does Santa Barbara Scrapbooks offer everything you need to preserve your family’s memories, it now offers free Mommy and Me memory classes as well as kid’s scrapbooking classes for a nominal fee.

Honorable Mention: Michaels Arts and Crafts

187 North Fairview Ave.

Goleta, CA 93117

967.7119

www.michaels.com

Family Photographer

Winner: Brad Elliot

565.6052

Place to get Car Seat Checked

Winner: California Highway Patrol

6465 Calle Real

Goleta, CA 93117

967.1234

Outdoor Fitness / Health Clubs

Winner: YMCA

Santa Barbara Family YMCA

36 Hitchcock Way

Santa Barbara, CA 93105

687.7727

Montecito Family YMCA

591 Santa Rosa Ln.

Santa Barbara, CA 93108

969.3288

www.ymca.com

Honorable Mention: Moms in Motion

HOME Countdown

Place to Volunteer with Kids

Winner: Unity Shoppe

1219 State St.

Santa Barbara, CA 93101

965.4122

www.unityshoppe.org

Kids Parade

Winner: Fiesta Children’s Parade

Honorable Mention: PEP Halloween Parade

Hiking Trail with Kids

Winner: Rattlesnake Canyon

To reach the trailhead for the Rattlesnake Canyon Trial, exit the 101 Freeway at Mission in Santa Barbara. Follow the signs to the Mission and from there, proceed north on Mission Canyon Road to Foothill Road and turn right. Make a quick left, once again onto Mission Canyon Road, and take it to Las Canoas Road and turn right. Take Las Canoas about 1-1/2 miles, look for a wide turnout near the second stone bridge and park your car along side the road.

Honorable Mention: Jesusita Trail

To reach the top of the trail, exit the 101 Freeway at Mission Street, head northeast to Foothill Road and turn right. Turn left on Tunnel Road and take it to the trailhead. Beyond the gate look for signage for Inspiration Point and Jesusita Trail.

Annual Family Event

Winner: Old Spanish Days Fiesta

Get ready for this year’s festivities at the annual costume sale on May 7 from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. at the Carriage Museum. For more information call Mally Sneddon at 964.7650.

Honorable Mention: Summer Solstice

Places to Take a Field Trip

Winner: Santa Barbara Zoo

500 Ninos Drive

Santa Barbara, CA 93103

962.5339 x26

www.santabarbarazoo.org

Honorable Mention: Santa Barbara Museum of Natural History

2559 Puesta del Sol Rd.

Santa Barbara, CA 93105

682.4711

www.sbnature.org

Honorable Mention: UCSB Marine Science Institute

893.3765

www.msi.ucsb.edu

Beach

Winner: Goleta Beach Park

5986 Sandspit Road

Goleta, CA 93117

967.1300

Park/Playground: TODDLER

Winner: Hidden Valley

This park, at Calle de Los Amigos and Torino Drive, is tailor-made for toddlers, with lawn, barbeque facilities and a great little playground, plus over 15 acres of creekside foliage and wildlife accessed by a walking path. The only downside: there’s no bathroom.

Honorable Mention: Willowglen Park

600 Willowglen Road

Honorable Mention: La Mesa Park

At Cliff Drive and Meigs Road

Honorable Mention: Chase Palm Park

East Cabrillo Boulevard at Garden Street

Honorable Mention: Hilda McIntyre Ray Neighborhood Park

1400 Kenwood Dr.

Honorable Mention: Goleta Beach Park

5986 Sandspit Road
Goleta, CA 93117

967.1300

Park/Playground: PRESCHOOL

Winner: Kids World

Located in downtown Santa Barbara at Garden and Micheltorena Streets, this park is a favorite for elementary school kids too, with whimsical community art contributions throughout the playground.

Honorable Mention: Chase Palm Park

This 10-acre facility on East Cabrillo Boulevard features fountains, creeks, a lagoon, carousel, snack bar and a Shipwreck Playground modeled after an ocean schooner from the turn of the century. The city-sponsored free Summer Concert series is also a favorite for families.

Camp 3-6 year olds

Winner: Zoo Camp (Santa Barbara Zoo)

500 Ninos Drive

Santa Barbara, CA 93103

962.5339 x48

www.santabarbarazoo.org

Honorable Mention: My Gym, Children’s Fitness Center

3888 State St.

Santa Barbara, CA 93105

563.7336

www.my-gym.com

Camp 6-12 year olds

Winner: Westmont Sports Camp (at Westmont College)

Westmont Summer Camps

955 La Paz Rd.

Santa Barbara, CA 93108

565.6010

www.westmont.edu/sports/summer_camps/camps.html

Honorable Mention: UCSB Camps

UCSB Department of Recreation

893.3913

www.par.ucsb.edu/youthprog/youthprog.html

Overnight Camp

Winner: YMCA Camp Arbolado

562.943.7241

www.ymcawhittier.org

Best Parent & Child Class

It was a tie between Kindermusik and My Gym, both of which offer great parent participation sessions for young children.

Winner: Kindermusik

1213 State St.

Santa Barbara, CA 93101

884.4009

www.kindermusik.com

Winner: My Gym, Children’s Fitness Center

3888 State St.

Santa Barbara, CA 93105

563.7336

www.my-gym.com

Afterschool Program

Winner: Girls Inc. of Greater Santa Barbara

531 E. Ortega St.

Santa Barbara, CA 93103

963.4017

www.girlsincsb.org

Honorable Mention: Creative Arts Inc.

681.1200

www.creativeartsinc.org

Sports Programs

Winner: AYSO Soccer

Goleta — 685.6806

Santa Barbara — 687.4134

www.soccer.org

Honorable Mention: Blaze Water Polo

Directors Beth Tompkins (637.0250) and Cathy Schreier (637.2040)

www.blazewaterpolo.com/

Tutoring Program

Winner: Dublin Learning Center

112 W. Cota St.

Santa Barbara, CA 93101

926.7122

Art Program

Arts Alive! a newcomer on the arts scene, and the Santa Barbara Museum of Art’s Ridley-Tree education program tied for the best children’s art program. Both offer a wide variety of well-loved classes for budding artists.

Winner: Arts Alive! Dance and Creativity Center

1 N. Calle Cesar Chavez

Santa Barbara, CA 93103

963.2278

www.artsalivesb.com

Winner: Ridley-Tree Education Center at McCormick House

1600 Santa Barbara St.

Santa Barbara, CA 93101

926.1661

Cooking Classes for Kids

Winner: Healthy Cooking with Kids

683.2525

www.healthycookingwithkids.com

Dance Classes

Winner: Gustafson Dance

322 State St.

Santa Barbara, CA 93101

965.6690

www.gustafsondance.com

Honorable Mention: Santa Barbara Jazz & Dance Academy

www.sbjda.com/company.html

Gymnastics Program

Winner: The Spirals Gymnastic Foundation

Robertson Gymnasium

University of California, Santa Barbara

968.2453

www.spiralsgymnastics.org

Honorable Mention: My Gym, Children’s Fitness Center

3888 State St.

Santa Barbara, CA 93105

563.7336

www.my-gym.com

Science & Marine Program

Winner: Santa Barbara Museum of Natural History

2559 Puesta del Sol Rd.

Santa Barbara, CA 93105

682.4711

www.sbnature.org

Etiquette Program

Winner: Mind Your Manners

565.4149

www.mindyourmanners.biz

Swim Lessons

Winner: Wendy Fereday Swim School

964.7818

Honorable Mention: Wilson Swimming

964.7795

Water Sports Program

Winner: Blaze Water Polo

Directors Beth Tompkins (637.0250) and Cathy Schreier (637.2040)

www.blazewaterpolo.com/

Honorable Mention: UCSB Surf & Kayak Camp

893.3913

www.par.ucsb.edu/youthprog/surfcamp.html

Tennis Programs

Winner: Cathedral Oaks Athletic Club

5800 Cathedral Oaks Rd.

Goleta, CA 93117

964.7762

www.calwestgroup.com/coac

Honorable Mention: Santa Barbara Parks & Recreation classes

www.sbparksandrecreation.com

Best Travel Agent

Winner: AAA Travel Agency

3712 State St.

Santa Barbara, CA 93105

682.5811

www.aaa-calif.com

Best Local Hotel for Families

Winner: Four Seasons Biltmore Hotel

1260 Channel Dr.

Santa Barbara, CA 93108

969.2261

www.fourseasons.com

Check out the “Kids for All Seasons Program,” a complimentary service, where you can leave your child with counselors to dine at “The Raft” (poolside cafe) and do arts and crafts, games, and swimming. Friday night date nights are also available, where parents can leave their children to watch movies.

Honorable Mention: Harbor View Inn

28 W. Cabrillo Blvd.

Santa Barbara, CA 93101

963.0780

Honorable Mention: Fess Parker’s Doubletree Resort

633 E. Cabrillo Blvd.

Santa Barbara, CA 93103

564.4333

Can’t get enough? Look for more in-depth profiles of some of the Parent’s Choice Award-winning businesses in upcoming issues of the South Coast Beacon.

Did we miss anything? If there are categories you would like to see next year, or awards that you just plain disagree with, let us know by emailing opinion@scbeacon.com.

Special thanks to the following vendors who donated prizes for our drawing: This Little Piggy Wears Cotton – My Gym – SB Axxess Book – Ty Warner Sea Center – Books – Pizza Mizza – Jelly Photography – Due Maternity – Artesia Spa – Serafina

Originally published in South Coast Beacon on April 14, 2005.

Bea Hamlin: Teaching a lifetime of learning

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Courtesy photo.

Picture a career full of hugs, finger paint and playing dress-up. Then imagine the rewards of teaching high school students about the wonders of child development. Finally, visualize the privilege of being able to educate adults to be better parents.

As director of the San Marcos Parent-Child Workshop, Bea Hamlin has had the multiple pleasures of that job since 1969.

Hamlin, who will retire at the end of the school year, recently reflected on her years at the cooperative preschool, the only one of its kind to serve as a working laboratory for high school students studying child development.

“It’s not a job for sissies,” laughed Hamlin, who started with the program in 1967 as a parent, with her daughter, Julia, attending the preschool.

One of the most rewarding things has been watching her students grow up.

“It’s amazing. People end up in all kind of fields and in sports,” she said, citing Dos Pueblos swimmers Rachel Rys and Michael Bowen and coach Danelle Little, all of whom she taught in preschool.

The co-op parents have also stayed active.

“They have been … the yeast for lots of good things in the community,” she said.

“If they’re that involved, then they’re probably going to be involved for a long time.”

Co-op parents — who are enrolled in a Wednesday night adult education class that Hamlin teaches at Santa Barbara City College, and also teach at the preschool one day a week — are known as great volunteers in the community.

“We train them early,” she said.

And she must have trained them well. Former parents, preschoolers and high schoolers alike had nothing but praise for “Teacher Bea,” as she’s known on campus.

“Teacher Bea encourages us all to grow and learn, to spread our wings and dance, fly, wander, stop here, investigate there and thoroughly love this process of life with small butterflies,” was one of the tributes honoring Hamlin at a recent school fund-raiser.

“Bea Hamlin is so delightful personally — a warm and wonderful woman who has dedicated herself to helping parents understand, appreciate and raise their children within a happy family to become self-fulfilled and confident adults,” said Anne Cameron, SBCC director of educational programs, and Hamlin’s supervisor.

“I simply adore her.”

Lea Blackburn, director of SBCC’s Kinko’s Early Learning Center, will become the new San Marcos director in the fall, Cameron said.

Q&A with Bea Hamlin

What was the hardest lesson YOU’VE HAD TO learn? Trial by fire when I first started. I had just come from being a parent in the group and assumed the directorship, and I think that having people’s impression of me changing from parent to teacher was very difficult.

NAME one crazy moment: The day someone brought a goat for show-and-tell. We had two baby goats, and I didn’t realize they were going to eat everything in sight. … I can still see that — the day the goats visited.

What would the title of your autobiography be? Are We There Yet?

RECALL one treasured memory: The way all the parents supported me after my house burned down in the Painted Cave Fire … It was such an amazing thing.

NAME three of your heroes: Marion Wright Edelman of the Children’s Defense Fund, Mr. Rogers … for his gentle ways, and Yo Yo Ma.

Originally published in South Coast Beacon on March 30, 2005.

Young Jews embark on rites of passage with Bar/Bat Mitzvah

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Photo by Peter van der Sluijs, courtesy Wikipedia Commons.

Photo by Peter van der Sluijs, courtesy Wikipedia Commons.

While the passage from childhood to adulthood is murky, at best, for many of us, virtually all societies determine a specific age that separates the children from the adults — the age when an individual assumes his communal and religious responsibilities to society.

For Jews, the establishment of becoming a Bar Mitzvah at 13 years plus one day for boys and a Bat Mitzvah at 12 years plus one day for girls, has historically been viewed as a first step in a young person’s acceptance of the obligations to family and community as a responsible Jew.

Though Jews have wrestled with the problem of how to safeguard the spiritual elements of Judaism in an age that openly embraces materialism, most Santa Barbara Bar and Bat Mitzvah celebrations are relatively low key, at least when compared to what goes on other places.

Jennifer Lebell, whose son, Jacob, recently had his Bar Mitzvah, recalls a family Bar Mitzvah, which took place in Canada. “It was the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen in my life, ” she said of the ceremony, which she described as being “very light on the Judaism.”

“There’s this elaborate stage and then there’s this little stage with a flowered archway and these (two 15-year-old) glamour girls are on each arm of the Bar Mitzvah boy, as the master of ceremonies said, ‘And now, may we present…’ and it totally darkens, and then actual fireworks come out of the arch,” she laughed.

“I mean it was such a stereotypical … Hollywood would have just gone nuts. … It was so bizarre. We knew that if we were going to do anything, that was the one thing that we were not going to do.”

Avoiding the glitzy route, the Lebells elected instead to take the path advised by Rabbi Jeffrey Salkin in his book, Putting God on the Guest List. “Decide as a family what you are celebrating and what this moment in your life means. This decision will help guide you through the rest of the planning stages.”

For the Lebells, this meant enrolling Jacob into Hebrew school (a large part of the Bar Mitzvah involves reading from the Torah in Hebrew) when he was in fourth grade.

“Learning to read in Hebrew was a special challenge for Jake because he has a learning disability,” said his mom. His teachers weren’t very optimistic, but his mother was determined. “It just proves that you can do something if your mom puts your mind to it,” she said.

“When I started working on my Bar Mitzvah, it was mostly about my parent’s expectations and their faith that I could master this stuff,” said Jacob. “It seemed too big and I was in denial, even as I went to my weekly classes. Eventually, it all started to make sense, and so what I learned is that if I keep showing up and have the right motivation, even huge things like this are doable.”

“One of the things during this ritual that I really love is the handing down of the Torah,” said Jennifer. “The Torah is taken from the ark by the rabbi and given to the oldest direct family member, in this case Grandma Malca and Grandpa Don, who then pass it to us (the parents), and then we pass it to Jacob who then processes around the sanctuary holding it allowing everyone else to touch it too. The other aspect I find significant is the grueling study and the humbling presentation before community. It really seems to give them acknowledgement for what they have done and confidence that if they can do this, they can do anything.”

For some families, instead of the traditional Torah reading and reception after the services that the Lebells did, this involves celebrating with another kind of journey. For example, last summer Madeleine Bordofsky and her father Michael took a trip to Europe to explore their Jewish roots. While Madeleine is definitely enjoying attending the Bar and Bat Mitzvah parties of her friends, describing one of them as “the best party ever,” she said, “I’d rather have a trip.”

Another important part of the ritual is a good deed, or a mitzvah, as part of the initiation into adulthood. A percentage of the total cost of the reception food is typically donated to Mazon, an organization that helps feed hungry people nationwide. Since money is commonly given as a Bar or Bat Mitzvah gift, most people designate a portion of their gifts to go to charity. For example, Jacob Lebell was planning to donate to Direct Relief International’s Tsunami Relief Fund.

While some may debate whether it’s realistic for a 13-year-old to be considered an adult, most Jews view the Bar or Bat Mitzvah ceremony as just the beginning of the acceptance of responsibility.

As Jacob wrote, “Through the entire time of writing this speech, the rabbi, the cantor, my folks and my godmother kept asking me what does being a Jew and having a Bar Mitzvah mean to me. I still don’t really know, but I do know I have begun to find out.”

=

What is a Bar Mitzvah?

Historically Bar Mitzvah and later Bat Mitzvah is the ceremonial occasion that marks the time when a young person is recognized as an adult in the Jewish community and is responsible for performing mitzvot. For example, before children are Bar/Bat Mitzvah, they do not need to fast on Yom Kippur.

The ceremony consists of the young person chanting the blessings, and his or her Torah portion, which is the Torah portion of the week.

Over time the Bar/Bat Mitzvah celebration party has evolved. The custom is to serve a special meal to commemorate the mitzvah taking place. Moreover with extended families spread out over the country, the Bar/Bat Mitzvah is also an opportunity for families to reunite and spend time together.

Children begin studying for their Bar/Bat Mitzvah by going to school some years before they actually turn Bar/Bat Mitzvah age.

In the year leading up to the event the person begins more intense training focused specifically on their Torah portion and the accompanying prayers. The day the young person is Bar/Bat Mitzvah is the first time he or she will have ever been called to the Torah.

In addition to preparing one’s Torah portion, the preparatory year serves as a chance for the young person to begin thinking about what being a Bar/Bat Mitzvah really means. In some synagogues the young person may make a commentary on their portion and try to apply the teachings of Torah to his or her own life.

Spotlight on B’Nai Brith

There are 28 young people scheduled to have Bar or Bat Mitzvahs at Congregation B’Nai Brith this year, said Cantor Mark Childs, who teaches the students at their final preparation stage. Of those 28, 13 are girls, he said.

“We’re a reform, progressive liberal synagogue, so we give equal status to both genders. You might find fewer girls being Bat Mitzvah in an orthodox setting,” Childs said.

Bar and Bat Mitzvahs are usually scheduled far in advance. For example, Childs said he put one on the calendar this week for June 2007.

While some students begin to study Hebrew in kindergarten, “even as young a preschool,” according to Jennifer Lebell, who has three children, “it really starts to get intense in fourth grade.”

For grades kindergarten through third, religious school is on Sunday mornings. In fourth grade, a Wednesday afternoon class is added. In seventh through 10th grade, students begin to attend a junior high and high school class on Wednesday nights, rather than Sundays.

In addition, when their Bar Mitzvah date is set, “they have private tutoring nine months before the date,” said Childs. After the Bar or Bat Mitzvah, conversational Hebrew becomes an elective, he explained, with further classes devoted to religious study. “We have a 90 percent retention rate after Bar Mitzvah, then they are confirmed at the end of 10th grade.”

While it’s tough to keep up that schedule in high school, “it’s a test of their priorities,” said Childs. “We hope that religious education is going to remain a primary priority.”

Originally published in South Coast Beacon on February 24, 2005.

New Babies Old Bonds

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Photo by Vera Kratochvil, publicdomainpictures.com.

Photo by Vera Kratochvil, publicdomainpictures.com.

You go in to the hospital a person and come out a parent. What does that really mean to the rest of your life.

The world really is created anew every time a child comes into it. Along with the boundless love, endless diapers and sleepless nights, parents should be prepared for changes in their relationships with their friends, their coworkers and the world at large.

Adjusting to having a baby in the house is just a small part of the equation. Sometimes the most difficult transitions can be in integrating that baby into the rest of your life.

“Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.” -John Wilmot

A common complaint from new parents and their friends, particularly those without children, is the distance that grows between them when a new baby comes along.

As one of the first in her group of friends to have children – and twins at that–Rachael Steidl said she felt uncomfortable at first.

“People would offer to either help or invite you over, or say just call us if you need help, but I never felt like I could take people up on it. It just felt like it was asking so much,” Steidl said.

“In hindsight now, when I’m in that position to do that for somebody else, I realize how sincere I am.”

Both new parents and friends should recognize that true friendships are mutual and the baby is part of the package from now on.

Now the mother of a 6-month-old son, Tracy Martin was in the opposite position from Steidl, as one of the last in her group to become a mom.

“(With my friends who have kids) I relate to that aspect of their life more. My biggest surprise after the baby came was how it didn’t matter to me that I was putting myself second. I can relate to that with my friends that have kids,” Martin said.

And as far as her friends without kids, Martin said, “people are pretty understanding. … I work to maintain my friendships, too. You can’t just bail on your life.”

“See the mothers driving down the street, see their makeup melting in the heat, straight from work, the pantyhose are tight, It’s take-out tonight.” -From the Frump song “We’re Really Beat”

Returning to work after you’ve been promoted to parent also requires some changes. Luckily employers are catching on.

“More bosses are realizing that when they help their employees manage the juggling act between work and family, they get happier, more productive workers in return,” said Sharon O’Malley, editor of Work/Life Today.

It’s amazing how productive you can be when you have to be, observed Katie Donald, a mother of two, who works a 32-hour week.

As new parents come to realize, “the less time you spend on unproductive work, the more time you can spend with your family,” O’Malley said.

Of course, prioritizing family time can sometimes mean giving up some of the more enjoyable parts of the workday, like dissecting the finer points of “Desperate Housewives.”

While coworkers–and the parents themselves–must adjust to a little less on-the-clock socializing, employers also need to realize new parents are not always available for last-minute projects.

“It’s really important to set your boundaries with your boss right away,” said Donald. “As long as your work doesn’t suffer, I think bosses are generally pretty understanding when your circumstances change. Especially if you’re willing to go the extra mile and take work home when necessary.”

“I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.” -Robert Orben

Where it is and is not appropriate to bring a young child is a big issue for many people.

“When my baby was really little, we took him pretty much anywhere. He went places a lot,” said Martin. Now that her son is 6 months old, she said she wouldn’t take him to “adult places” at this stage.

“He’s getting to the point where I don’t think it’s any fun for him – and we get a lot of stares from people. Like ‘oh, no, please don’t put me next to them,'” she said.

As Steidl learned, sometimes people do more than stare.

“We took our kids to movies as newborns … this one woman looked at me and said, ‘Well, I guess people just don’t care about exposing their kids to germs anymore,'” she recalled. “Luckily there was another parent …(who) made a nice little comeback to her.”

She continued, “Any time you’re going to take your kids to an adult situation like that, that as long as you’re willing to leave if it’s not working and not put other people into an uncomfortable position, that’s fine. But we had people just make the rudest comments.”

As for restaurants, all of the parents we spoke to recommended taking little ones “that make noise” only to family-friendly restaurants. There are plenty of good ones in Santa Barbara, said Steidl, who has a whole list of family-friendly places on her Web site, www.sbparent.com.

“I personally don’t think you show up at the Wine Cask, or Sage & Onion with little ones, when for so many people that’s a special night out for them and save up for those kinds of things.”

“Never have children, only grandchildren” – Gore Vidal

What could be better than finally being a grandparent? Not only do you have an adorable new baby to welcome and spoil, but if you play your cards right, your own children will finally start to appreciate you.

Want to be the best grandma or pop-pop on the block? Here are a few tips for making your house kid-ready. We’ll leave the spoiling to you.

= Stock the right size diapers and wipes. A change of baby clothes can’t hurt either.

= Until your grandchild is mobile, you don’t have to childproof your whole house, but do have a baby area ready.

= Portable activity mats are great diversions for little ones and compact cribs are the easy answer to “where is the baby going to sleep?”

= When you want to hold the baby all day, but your sciatic nerve says otherwise, bouncer seats are a great way to keep your grandchild healthy. Plus, it’s fun to watch them discover their toes.

= Volunteer to put the dog/cat/next door neighbor outside if they’re making the baby or her parents uncomfortable.

Finally, the best way to make your house child-friendly is to make it parent friendly, which means:

= Offer your son/daughter the chance to have some time alone with their spouse (or to take a nap!), but don’t be offended if they don’t take it.

= If you’re tempted to give unsolicited parenting advice, hold your tongue and count to 50. Still tempted? Bite your tongue and try counting again.

Originally published in South Coast Beacon on February 3, 2005.

Annual rituals are often as important and appreciated as the season

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Photo by pxhere.com.

Photo by pxhere.com.

No matter how you celebrate this holiday season, chances are it will be remarkably similar to the way you celebrated last year. December is a time that we cling to our family traditions — even when those traditions consist of, for example, not celebrating Christmas by going to a movie and then out for Chinese food, as many Jewish families do.

While the religious observances of the season are an important part of the celebration for some, for others the holidays are more about family and the sense of connectedness that enjoying the annual rituals reinforces.

Whatever the activity — whether it’s decorating the tree with the family, lighting the menorah during Hanukkah, exchanging special gifts, preparing traditional meals, sending cards, baking cookies, clothing the homeless or hosting gatherings at your home, it becomes a tradition when it’s repeated each year.

“These traditions are the factors that help hold us together and help us identify who we are,” said sociologist Herbert Smith. “If it’s done enough, people expect it and if it’s positive enough, people want it. The key is not so much of doing anything elaborate or expensive; anything that’s done within the family that creates a sense of ‘we-ness’ is what you want to establish.”

Here’s a look at how some local families will be celebrating that “sense of we-ness” this holiday season and in the years to come.

“Spending quality time with family you wouldn’t normally get to see,” is a favorite part of the holidays for student Rollin Gartzke, a sentiment echoed by many.

Another student, Tony Tan, said he likes, “Seeing all my old relatives and just talking about life in general.”

Gift giving also plays a part in family favorites.

“Some of my favorite traditions are letting the kids open one present on Christmas Eve, playing Christmas music while we decorate the tree, and driving around to look at neighborhood Christmas lights,” said Matt Randmaa, an electrical engineer.

Dos Pueblos High student Rashad Crew said his favorite holiday tradition was “giving presents and spinning dreidels.

“Christmas breakfast is a big deal in our family, involving Chelsea rolls, grapefruit and an attempt by parents to stretch out the meal as long as possible. It has become a time-honored tradition for the kids to lobby constantly for an end to breakfast and a start of the opening of presents,” said Steve Parry, a venture capitalist.

Whether it’s Chelsea rolls or turkey, tamales or latkes, food definitely plays a big role in South Coast holiday celebrations.

“Eating latkes, spinning the dreidel and making pictures of cool holiday things,” are some of 10th-grader Emily Solomon’s favorite traditions.

“Eating latkes and opening presents” also got a vote from 10th-grader Ariel Horwitz.

“Each year, my extended family, despite having not the slightest bit of Mexican ancestry, has tamales with rice, beans and salsa for Christmas dinner. How this came about, I do not know; someone just decided that having tamales each year would be a novel idea,” said Grant Smith, a Cate School sophomore.

“Also, every year since I can remember, my family put up a quilted Advent calendar with Velcro pieces on the first of each December. Until about two years ago, my sister and I would argue every morning over who would get to put up the day’s piece, which I suppose is a tradition in itself,” said Smith, who added, “I’ve since let go and allow her to put all of the pieces up.”

“Some of my favorite holiday traditions are everyone going to the local elementary school to play baseball, football and handball while the Christmas feast is cooking, and baking Christmas cookies on Christmas Eve day then having the family over that night to eat them … The kids put out cookies and milk for Santa and carrots for the reindeer then go online to norad.com to see where Santa is located,” said Kathy Randmaa, an attorney.

“I like going up to the mountains after Christmas and having another big celebration there and playing in the snow. I also like driving around looking at Christmas lights,” said Randmaa’s third-grade son, Kurtis.

Indeed our childhood memories often become more vivid at Christmas.

“The holiday tradition I remember as a child was going to my grandfather’s house on Christmas Day. There were seven granddaughters and he always bought us identical dolls and had a dressmaker make three or four outfits for these dolls, said Diane Freeman, a nurse.

“Grandfather had a hard time changing this habit and the last doll I got from him was in my senior year in high school when he gave us all three-foot tall dolls that would walk with you if you held her hand,” Freeman said.

“I grew up in a Jewish home, so we celebrated Hanukkah when I was small,” said Daniel T. Colbert, a venture capitalist. “We did the usual things — lighting of the candles each night. While I was small, we received presents each of the eight nights! In those years, we felt luckier than our Christian friends! As an adult with my own family, we would always walk the neighborhood in the evening near Christmas, to see the lights on all the houses.”

Just think, as you admire the lights in your own neighborhood this year, inside they could be celebrating the holidays with traditions like some of these.

Originally published in South Coast Beacon on December 16, 2004.

Gifts

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Photo by Michael Schwarzenberger, Pixabay.

Photo by Michael Schwarzenberger, Pixabay.

Sometimes a simple gift you make yourself can be the best gift of all. Here are a few ideas to get those creative juices flowing.

It’s hard to go wrong with a gift you make yourself. But many people end up saying goodbye to each holiday season with a closet full of good intentions and half-finished projects. The non-Martha Stewarts among us have learned the hard way that you have to pick realistic projects.

Here are a few suggestions for gifts that are not too late to make:

Fun with Photos

Santa Barbara Scrapbooks (918 Chapala St., 962.5099) offers mini albums that can be put together easily in an evening, said manager Amy Jakubowski. They also offer premade photo calendars that you just plop your photos in, journals to decorate, handmade card kits and shadow boxes, which convert scrapbook pages into wall hangings.

Personalized Stationery

Craft Essentials (187 S. Turnpike Road, 681.3115) has a nice selection of monogrammed initial rubber stamps and blank cards and stationery. Pick your favorite style and stamp up a set of notecards. For an elegant look, you can even emboss the stamped initial with gold powder. Tie the cards together with raffia or ribbon and you’ve got a great gift.

Glogg

Susie Bigelow makes this Swedish liquor in big batches, some to keep and some to give away. In either case, it will keep you warm at night. (Per batch) simmer about four cups water in a large pot for about an hour with a few cut-up oranges, whole cloves and cinnamon sticks. Strain the mixture, then add a quart of port (or cheap red wine) 1/3-cup sugar, and brandy to taste. Heat mixture and pour over almonds and raisins. Serve warm. Bigelow gives it away in pretty jugs (either new or recycled) with the raisin and almond mixture tied to the neck in colorful saran wrap.

“A Personalized Gift

…is the best gift of all,” said Stuart Lewis, owner of 2000 Degrees (1206 State St., 882.1817). At $7 a day for adults and $4 for children, you can deck out everyone on your list with handmade ceramics such as custom drawer pulls, ornaments, mugs, plates, frames, surfboards and just about any animal you can think of. Ceramics take two to three days to fire, Lewis said, so there’s still time. Also new are mosaics, which can be taken home right away and have no studio fee associated with them.

Around the Corner

…at Art Essentials (32 E. Victoria St., 965.5456) is a wealth of craft kits to make your own alarm clocks, salt-and-pepper shakers, ceramic boxes, frames, jewelry and more. Most of these are designed for kids, so they’re easy and fast for all ages to use, said salesman Joseph Truelove.

One of the Only

…things nicer than giving a handmade card is giving someone a bunch of them, that they can be given away for occasions such as birthdays, new babies and thank yous. Michaels Arts & Crafts (183 N. Fairview Ave., 967.7119) offers everything you need to make an assortment of cards to give away, including dozens of pre-made, pre-cut kits.

Cookies Are Another

…”can’t miss” homemade gift that just about anyone will appreciate. And if you run out of time to actually make them, you can always mix up the ingredients in an attractive container and stick a bow on it for ready-made cookie mix. Red and Green M&M cookies look especially festive done this way.

Another Favorite Last-Minute gift is reindeer food for Rudolph & Co.

Mix a cup oatmeal, a cup sugar and red or green sugar crystals with glitter.

You can either put it in baggies, tied with ribbons, or if you use a jar, layer the ingredients, sand art-style, with oatmeal on the top and the bottom. Include the poem: “It’s the night before Christmas and all through the house, everyone has eaten — even the mouse. You give Santa some cookies and a glass of milk, too. Don’t forget the reindeer — please give them some food. Open this bag and sprinkle outside. Hop into bed — Santa’s soon to arrive.”

Gardening Gloves

You can pick up a nice set of canvas gardening gloves at Orchard Supply Hardware (125 N. Fairview Ave. 681.1500) then use acrylic craft paint (available at any art supply or craft store) to stencil on a flowerpot, leaves, flowers, etc. You can also sponge paint the gloves and personalize them with the recipient’s name or something like, “Grandma’s Garden” or “Rosie’s Posies.”

Customized Candles

Personalize inexpensive candles from Pacific Co. (3309-A State St. near Gelson’s Market, 682.9552) with favorite quotes printed on clear mailing labels or rubber stamp images on tissue paper, and then use a heat gun to attach them to the candles. You can even combine these two techniques by attaching pretty printed tissue to the candles with the heat gun, then sticking favorite quotes and sayings over that for a collaged look. Or have children draw pictures on the tissue paper for a one-of-a-kind candle creation.

Originally published in South Coast Beacon on December 16, 2004.

Choosing children

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Life without kids is inconceivable to some, but the results can be challenging, too

When you tell Beth Goodman‘s story in broad strokes – as Dr. Laura, Bill O’Reilly and Oprah Winfrey have done – it’s easy to pass judgment.

Even Goodman admitted, “I can understand … if you present this … should a single woman who can’t afford to take care of all four babies be allowed to go to a sperm bank and get pregnant with quadruplets, … the logical mind says no. I mean that makes no sense.”

But a closer look at Goodman’s journey into motherhood offers a more complex story of a woman who – like many others – longed to have a baby, tried unsuccessfully for many years, and finally, with her 40th birthday approaching, turned to medical science in a last-ditch effort to answer the call of her biological clock.

“I had a good plan to raise one child as a single person,” said Goodman.

She had her schedule worked out so she would conceive and work through her busy summer and fall seasons as a floral designer.

One child I could take with me to a lot of flower-buying excursions. I could have the baby wrapped next to my body when I was doing floral design,” she said. “I knew that I would have to have help, day care during certain periods … but there was a lot of time that I would get to be alone with the child and I was very confident that this was something I could do.”

Even though Goodman had been through in vitro fertilization procedures in her 20s, when she was married, and was well aware such methods can lead to multiple births, she was not emotionally, physically or financially prepared for more than one baby.

“I had been very clear with the doctors from the beginning that selective reduction was not something I would consider and that multiples was not something I could do,” she said.

In fact, Goodman was so clearly insistent she didn’t want more than one baby that she went against the advice of her doctor, William Schoolcraft, a renowned fertility specialist she traveled to Colorado to work with. He recommended implanting four eggs, but Goodman was so worried about the possibility of having twins, she insisted he implant only three eggs, bringing her changes of conceiving down to 35 percent from about 60 percent.

“This was the last chance I felt I had, this was all the money, this was all the time, and I said, ‘You know, in my heart I just feel like three is the right number,'” said Goodman. “It was kind of an awkward moment really because this guy’s the best medical doctor and I am sort of indulging my gut feeling with going with three, but I did.”

While she was in Colorado receiving fertility treatments, Goodman unexpectedly fell in love with a man she felt sure was meant to be the father of her child.

“He would lay on my belly and talk to the eggs, the babies …whatever they were and we would tell them that we loved them all but that it would be very hard for us if all three of them were to stay. And that we would leave it up to them who would go and who would stay but we really were hoping to have a child and that we loved them all, but that you guys work it out.”

They worked it out all right.

Back in Santa Barbara and nine weeks pregnant, Goodman found out that not only had all three embryos implanted, but that one of her eggs had split. She was pregnant with quadruplets. Goodman was devastated. “I just cried,” she recalled.

Sitting in Dr. Alex Soffici’s office, staring at the four little heartbeats on her ultrasound, one of Goodman’s first thoughts was, “I know I don’t have what it takes to kill one of these babies. … I can’t call into being through my choices four lives and then decide oh, oops, this is really inconvenient for me. … We all just went into shock.”

Although she knew in her heart she wouldn’t do selective reduction, Goodman said she still talked to Soffici about it and learned that it was particularly risky because the twins shared a blood supply to some degree and they weren’t certain which ones were the twins.

“Who we thought were the twins were … Cason and Barrett, but we did not find out until all of them were born that Luke and Cason are the twins. So we would have made a mistake and Luke would be here today maybe handicapped,” she said. “With that risk and the risk of losing the whole pregnancy and everything, I just felt like I would not make that choice.”

Next she looked to adoption as the only other alternative to keeping all of the babies. Years before, she and her husband had been on the other side of the adoption equation, presenting themselves as potential adoptive parents, but the marriage broke up before they found a baby. This time, Goodman worked with an adoption attorney, Doug Donnelly, and narrowed her choice to a very wealthy family on the East Coast.

Her children would have been raised by two parents on a 500-acre horse farm, with a private plane, a sailboat, the opportunity to travel the world and grandparents on the premises to boot.

“I felt like I was being so selfish to keep them,” said Goodman.

Plus, most of her family was pressuring her to give some of the children up for adoption, with her ex-husband and many close friends also chiming in. But in her gut, Goodman said she knew that “adoption was not an option.” She envisioned a future when she would be back on her feet financially and sitting with two of her children wondering what the other two were doing.

“I thought, I’m going to prove to them that I love them enough to do this, and I’m going to prove to everyone that love is enough. Of course, it’s not; you have to have money to pay the bills. But the commitment to love, I really think is what brought the help that came. And I couldn’t have done it alone.”

While her boyfriend didn’t stick it out, many others did, including childhood friend Kathryn Kalionzes, who is now Goodman’s partner in a new line of customized children’s clothes that combines Kalionzes’ fashion background with Goodman’s floral designs. AlisaElaine will have its premiere trunk show Nov. 25-27. Check www.alisaelaine.com for further details.

With her parents and siblings in her corner and her finances starting to come back together, Goodman is planning a “gratitude party” as the quads get ready to celebrate their first birthday on Nov. 11.

Despite the challenges of raising quads, Goodman has managed to find time to journal their journey and hopes to publish a book.

A recent entry on her website, www.bethsbabies.com, reads: “As we approach the babies’ first birthday, all together as one, big, happy, healthy family, I know in my heart that I am just where I am supposed to be.”

Originally published in South Coast Beacon

From the Single Files

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What did Vieja Valley’s Ashley Scatena learn on The Bachelor? The reality of life is preferable to TV.

A kindergarten teacher straight out of central casting, Vieja Valley School’s Ashley Scatena is sweet, petite and charming. So what was she doing starring on ABC’s comical catfight “reality show,” The Bachelor?

It wasn’t to meet the man of her dreams.

It wasn’t the money; the women aren’t paid to participate. They even have to supply their own clothes.

It wasn’t the potential stardom; unlike many bachelorettes, Scatena has no ambitions to become an actress or a model.

Scatena was simply motivated by the opportunity to get a behind-the-scenes look at a reality TV show. She said the whole process was fascinating.

“I can’t watch a show the same way again,” she said.

She was particularly struck by how long it took to film a single scene. For example, the rose ceremonies — during which the women find out if they’ve been chosen by the bachelor to go on to the next round — took about nine hours to film and resulted in only about nine minutes of airtime.

Last week’s rose ceremony was the last one for Scatena, since Byron the bachelor did not choose her to continue.

While Scatena felt badly about not staying on longer, she was hardly heartbroken. She said she knew right away that the Las Vegas fisherman wasn’t the man for her, but figured she might as well enjoy the experience.

With 25 women sharing three small bedrooms and two bathrooms, and completely cut off from the outside world — no phones, no Internet, no television, no books, no magazines — it’s no wonder they became close friends.

“We spent 23 hours a day talking and getting to know each other. It was just a great way to bond with women my age,” said the 31-year-old. “And I realized that we’ve all had the same dating experience all over the country.”

Scatena’s looking forward to November, when the women will film a “Girls Tell All” episode and give the inside scoop on their experiences on the show. Right now they are not supposed to be talking among themselves, to help keep up the suspense — as well as the secrecy — of the show.

As for the over-the-top drama of some of the women, Scatena said they were mostly just playing to the camera and giving the producers what they wanted.

But being dramatic was the last thing Scatena wanted. Ever aware of her role model status — especially among her previous students — she was very careful not to do anything she would regret.

“These kids are my biggest fans, and they don’t even care that I was on TV,” she said, as two little girls shyly presented her with some yellow leaves. “Yesterday I got a marble and a paper clip.”

It’s hard to be a diva in a class full of 5-year-olds.

“My students are my saving grace right now,” she said. “When everything else is crazy you can come in here and tie 10 pairs of shoes and blow someone’s nose and open their string cheese, and you forget all about The Bachelor.”

Originally published in South Coast Beacon on October 7, 2004.