Mixed Messages

Television by Salvatore Vuono (freedigitalphotos.net)

Television by Salvatore Vuono (freedigitalphotos.net)

Be careful — what your kids watch may be hazardous to their health and your wallet.

If TV is “chewing gum for the eyes,” as Architect Frank Lloyd Wright once said, it may be causing more than tooth decay in children — TV may also be making them fat, according to two new studies.

“The more than 1,000 hours that the average school child will spend in front of the television this year will harm him or her far more than the one second of Janet Jackson’s breast,” said TV-Turnoff Network Executive Director Frank Vespe.

The typical child sees about 40,000 ads a year on TV and the majority of ads targeted to kids are for candy, cereal, soda and fast food, a report by the Kaiser Family Foundation found. In addition, many of the ad campaigns enlist children’s favorite TV and movie characters — Spongebob Cheez-Its, Scooby-Doo Cereal, Teletubbies Happy Meals, to name a few — to pitch products.

Apparently the $12 billion per year spent on advertising to youth works. “Commercials make people want to buy things, like Cox high speed internet,” said 4-year-old Sophia Bordofsky.

Indeed, a series of studies examining product choices found that children recalled content from ads they’d seen, and their preference for a product occurred with as little as a single commercial exposure and grew stronger with repeated exposures, found a recent report by the American Psychological Association. The Kaiser study also found that exposure to food advertising affects children’s food choices and requests for products in the supermarket.

While there’s no doubt that advertisers are selling to children, not everyone is buying. Many parents restrict their children’s viewing. “They do have to do their homework first and they have to take turns picking a show,” said Misty Bordofsky, Santa Barbara mother of four children aged 4 to 13. “Usually they’ll leave the room and go do something else if it’s the show another kid picked,” she said.

Numerous parents may limit their children to watching videos and commercial-free television and a rare few don’t let their kids watch TV at all.

“I am appalled by marketing that targets children with ads for junk food and toys. Young children are not able to understand the inherent bias of an advertisement. They are easy targets,” said Charla Bregante, a Goleta mother of two who is in that 2 percent demographic that does not own a television.

“Most of the advertising during children’s programming is for junk food such as candy, chips, and sugared cereals. Kids are given the message that these foods are desirable and nag their parents to buy them. In addition, children tend to snack more while they are watching TV. Turning off the TV is one of the best ways to fight obesity in children. Almost any other activity will use more energy than sitting in front of a television,” said Bregante.

“While older children and adults understand the inherent bias of advertising, younger children do not, and therefore tend to interpret commercial claims and appeals as accurate and truthful information,” said psychologist Dale Kunkel, a professor of communication at UCSB and senior author of the APA report, which recommends restricting ads targeting children under the age of 8.

“I can tell you that my children rarely nag me for a specific toy or food item. I believe this is because they are not exposed to television advertising and the consumer culture promoted in television programming,” said Bregante, who encouraged families to participate in TV-Turnoff Week, April 19-25 (www.tvturnoff.org).

Is there anything positive for kids on television? Yes, according to Professor Kunkel: “There are lots of positive influences that may result from children’s viewing of certain pro-social or educational programs. The problem is that parents have to mine the media landscape pretty hard to find those occasional nuggets.”

Television is an (almost) inescapable part of modern culture. “With the recent explosion in satellite and digital specialty channels, we now have access to a plethora of both good quality and inappropriate TV content. In this crowded television environment, the key for parents is to search out high quality TV programs for their kids, and whenever possible, enjoy them together as a family,” recommends the Media Awareness Network, a nonprofit organization that focuses on media literacy.

For parents who don’t want to opt out completely, David Kleeman, Director of the American Center for Children and Media, recommends that parents ask the following questions to select viewing that is good for children:

Does the program actively engage my child, physically or intellectually? Television watching doesn’t have to be passive. It can prompt questions, kindle curiosity, or teach activities to pursue when the set is off.

Does my child see others like himself or herself on television? Young children believe that television reflects the real world. To not see people like themselves — in race, ethnicity, or physical ability, for example — may diminish their self-worth. A lack of role models should spark discussion about how TV portrays different types of people.

Do I respect this program? Parents don’t have to like every show their children choose — in fact, young people need their own district culture. But parents should trust that a program’s creators understand and respect how children grow and learn.

Originally published in South Coast Beacon

Making their presence felt

Women's Fund of Santa BarbaraWomen’s Fund getting more bang for bucks

Looking for a low-key, high-impact way to tap into the power of collective philanthropy, Carol Palladini was inspired when she read a Los Angeles Times article about the Everychild Foundation. The idea is simple. Take the time, energy, and money spent on mounting and attending elaborate fund raisers and write a single check once a year.

The appeal was also simple: “Many women in the Santa Barbara area feel not only a need, but an obligation to be a powerful force for good in our community,” Palladini wrote in the invitation letter to the inaugural members of the Women’s Fund of Santa Barbara.

A few short months after that initial request, the Women’s Fund awarded its first donations on Jan. 31, giving $105,000 to the Santa Barbara Neighborhood Clinic’s Eastside Family Dental Clinic and $35,000 to two St. Vincent’s programs, PATHS (Program of Affordable Transitional Housing and Services) and Casa Alegria, an infant and toddler care facility.

“A group of women had been meeting at the Santa Barbara Foundation to talk about women and philanthropy,” explained Palladini. That group eventually evolved into a founding committee that included Palladini, Peri Harcourt, Shirley Ann Hurley, Jean Kaplan, Dale Kern, Joanne Rapp, Elna Scheinfeld, Meredith Scott, Anne Smith, Kay Stern, Marsha Wayne and Fritzie Yamin, as well as Raynette Cornejo, the Santa Barbara Foundation liaison.

Their intention was to take a year to develop the plan for the Women’s Fund, “but people started calling and saying ‘when can we write checks?’ which is amazing because usually you have to cajole and pull money out of people,” said Palladini.

“All it took was a letter of invitation to 500 women and the money started coming in,” said Palladini.

Each member contributes a minimum of $2,500 per year, which is then deposited in Donor Advised Fund administered by the Santa Barbara Foundation. At the end of the year, 90 percent of the funds collected are donated to one or more local nonprofit organizations.

“Our umbrella for giving is meeting unmet needs for women, children and families in the greater Santa Barbara area,” said Palladini. “The main goal is not to divvy it up in little tidbits, so that the impact of collective women’s giving is really felt.”

Granting is decided by a simple majority vote of members. Women who wish to ease the cost of dues may form a donor group, which then shares one vote in how the money is spent.

To join, send a check payable to Women’s Fund of Santa Barbara, c/o Santa Barbara Foundation, 15 E. Carrillo St., Santa Barbara 93101. For more information, contact Palladini at 565.0342 or e-mail her at carolpall@earthlink.net.

Originally published in South Coast Beacon in 2007.

Enterprising Women Make Connection

Stockimages (freedigitalphotos.net)

Stockimages (freedigitalphotos.net)

N.E.W. helps budding business owners balance networking and families

By LESLIE DINABERG

SOUTH COAST BEACON

Hanging out with the women of N.E.W. you get a great sense of energy, optimism and, dare I say it, sisterhood. This is indeed a network of enterprising women.

The 13 members — all of whom market their services to families on the South Coast and beyond — have met informally for the past year and a half to network and share information, and now they have a new enterprise, a quarterly newsletter called the Parent Connection.

The second issue of the Parent Connection comes out this week. Filled with useful information for parents — such as etiquette tips from Tara Stockton of Mind Your Manners, as well as discount coupons from member businesses — the newsletter is free and can be found at local libraries, doctors’ offices and family-oriented businesses.

Rachael Steidl, who owns sbparent.com, an Internet portal that caters to local families, said she started N.E.W. because she had met so many women who, like her, were balancing families and business ownership, and thought it would be a neat opportunity to connect people with similar goals.

Surprisingly, at that first meeting, almost none of the women knew each other even though they were targeting the same demographic, Steidl said.

“Being part of N.E.W is so valuable to me because we are all women with businesses that may be different but the joys and stresses of owning a business are the same,” said Jennifer Caesar, who owns My Gym Children’s Fitness Center. “The understanding, support and advice of other women who are going through the same ups and downs is so helpful.”

“It’s great to discuss ideas on topics such as networking, marketing and advertising with other business owners, and with this group of creative women we come up with some great ideas for each other’s businesses,” said Dr. Trevor Holly Cates of the Santa Barbara Center for Natural Medicine.

Another important element of the group is fostering good corporate citizenship.

“We strategize on how to make our community better through fund raising, awareness and donating to great causes,” said Michelle Bexelius, who owns Homegrown Photos.

“I wish more businesses were not just networking but supporting things,” said Steidl, who is teaming up with Moms In Motion founder — and fellow N.E.W. member — Jamie Allison to present the second annual Mother Day 5K & Family Festival on May 7, as a benefit for Village Properties Realtors’ Teacher’s Fund and Postpartum Education for Parents (PEP).

In addition to the philanthropic aspect, N.E.W. members’ supportiveness of each other distinguishes the group from other business organizations.

“Bryn Evans (co-owner of Hopscotch and the lone man in the group) made a comment — if this had been men it would have been so different, you’re so supportive, so enthusiastic,” Steidl recalled.

Some of the adjectives members used to describe their colleagues included generous, intelligent, committed, humorous, inspirational, creative and innovative.

“It takes a lot of creativity and guts to start your own business and manage it well. These women inspire me to continue working hard to grow my business,” Cates said.

In addition to sbparent.com, Mind Your Manners, My Gym, Santa Barbara Center for Natural Medicine, Homegrown Photos, Moms In Motion and Hopscotch, group members include Kim Clark of Baby Boot Camp, Sonia Diaz-Ebadi of Pizza Mizza, Marietta Jablonka of A Stork Was Here, Danielle Kling of The Dining Car, Suzanne Shea of Envirobaby and Carol Tricase of PEP.

For more information on N.E.W., visit www.sbparent.com.

Originally published in South Coast Beacon on May 5, 2005.

Noozhawk Talks: Leslie Dinaberg Sits Down With Suzanne Farwell

Suzanne Farwell, LaraCooper / Noozhawk photo

Suzanne Farwell, LaraCooper / Noozhawk photo

As Director of Communications, Suzanne Farwell is often the voice for the Santa Barbara Foundation, connecting all of us with information about the good work the foundation is doing in the community. Farwell connects with Leslie Dinaberg
to reflect on her work and her life, as she prepares to retire later this month.

Leslie Dinaberg: What will you miss the most about your job at the Santa Barbara
Foundation?

Suzanne Farwell: The people I work with. One of the reasons I like working there is because I
work with people who are passionate about what they do and helping people.

…The other thing I really like about my job is it has so many facets where I’m
gathering information, so I’m learning about many different things every day. …
I’m learning about different philanthropic groups that pop up through us. It’s the
whole canvas of interesting wonderful things that are positive. …

LD: That’s great. In many ways I think Santa Barbara Foundation seems like an
ideal nonprofit job in that you would never get bored because you’re dealing with
so many different types of things.

SF: And now there’s the added component of a new boss who is coming in (Ron
Gallo replaced Chuck Slosser as CEO this year) with fresh ideas and that’s also
very exciting.

LD: So what made you decide to retire now?

SF: Well a couple of things. The major reason is my daughter has a little boy who
is 14 months old and he is a sweetheart and I don’t get to see him much. And my
son is getting married and in every family there needs to be someone at the
center who doesn’t necessarily actually need to do anything but who is that
center and there’s much I can’t do with this job. … I hope to do some projects for
the foundation that I am intensely interested in, and I’m still young enough to be
able to open my mind to lots of other things and who knows. I’m trying to have a
fertile ground and so as things pop up they take root. But I can’t open it up
without cutting back on the work. But it seems like a good time. I’m also looking
forward to spending more time with my husband at home.

LD: I would imagine that’s its very demanding work.

SF: It is, but that’s what good about it is I use every brain cell.

LD: I know you worked on a lot of great programs while you were at the Santa
Barbara Foundation, but are there any that are particularly near and dear to your
heart?

SF: The first year I was there we were about to celebrate the Foundation’s 75th
anniversary. So there was a book, a history book for the anniversary project to
coordinate and then there was a gala performing arts presentation at the Lobero.
That was fantastic. Then there was a symposium about the future of
philanthropy. That was all in one year. That was really something. …

I think one of my favorites was a book about the blind doctor, Dr. Pearlman. … A
little old lady comes to us and she wants to leave us a million dollars part of the
deal is that we publish her manuscript. Well, you can imagine a little old lady’s
manuscript. What will we do with that? Well, you read it and it turned out to be a
really compelling human story so we shepherded that project, we got a local
publisher; the whole thing was really heartwarming. And it’s always nice to have
tangible evidence of what you’ve done because most of mine is ephemeral.

LD: I’ve seen that project and it’s very, very cool.

SF: Yes, and the idea that we would be following through on the donor’s wishes
which is always very important. And it’s a book that opens people’s eyes to what
it is like to be blind as a society, as a world society we could all that to
understand what it’s like to be in someone else’s shoes.

… It’s fascinating. I get something out of every single project. I know the
foundation’s history better than anybody.

LD: Do you have any trips planned or any immediate plans as soon as you’re
done?

SF: Everybody asks me that. … My husband and I have traveled a lot and I just
plan to stay home for a while and just be there. I live in a wonderful place. I want
to just sit on the porch, watch the birds and just still the mind a little bit because
I’m always thinking about philanthropy and this and that and it’s going to take a
while for that to go away because I’m always going at 60 miles an hour.

LD: What else do you do like to do with your spare time?

SF: Well I love to read. I’ve also been a professional dancer for 30 years and I
still do it two or three times a month. I’ve been with Chef Karim since he
started.

LD: I didn’t know that.

SF: So that’s in my blood. And I love to move, so it would be fun to explore
different forms of dance. I don’t know it’s mainly a stilling of the mind to allow
other things to come up. It sounds like I’m not going to do anything.

LD: You need a break, that’s what it sounds like to me.

SF: So I’m opening doors and letting things in.

LD: How did you get started with belly dancing?

SF: My husband and I were living at Married Student Housing at UCSB because
we were both graduate students. I was getting my masters in French and he was
getting a PhD in counseling psych and a woman moved in who was a belly
dancer, new to town. He was dabbling in photography at the time, she needed
photos, so they made a deal. He said I’ll take photos of you and why don’t you
give Suzanne some lessons. I was very annoyed. I was not consulted. I was
almost insulted.

So I went and I took a couple of lessons and said this is really weird. But then my
teacher put on a show with three other dancers and I went and I was hit in the
head by a bat. That proverbial light bulb was like, ah, that’s what I want. Yes. I
want to be that person on the stage. Because it’s so alluring and beautiful and
that was it I set on a path and my poor husband never imagined that this would
happen. And it became overwhelming. It changed my life because I learned to
relate to people in a different way. I was very British at the time, very shy and I
learned to handle myself. I did Belly Grams for years where I would go to offices,
homes, wherever and do a ten minute dance and congratulate the birthday
person and whatever it was and so I was in mansions in Montecito, barbecues on
Milpas, offices all over, it was fantastic, so I got a look at America that I never
would have had, and it was for me about Americans. A great education… It’s
added a spark to my life.

LD: Keeps you in shape too.

SF: It does. And like anybody else I’ve had experiences and I’ve taken from them
and learned and it’s made me who I am today, and I hope to have many more of
them…

LD: How did you go from getting your masters in French and becoming a belly
dancer to working in the nonprofit world?

SF: I was a stay at home mom and I took that very seriously. I spent a lot of time
with my kids educating them in every way that I could. When our daughter, the
younger of the two, went to high school, my husband said, “well you know, this is
a good time to get a job.” I was panicked because I had not ever really, really had
a job.

I’d worked as a caterer for many years and I worked at Jane Fonda’s ranch. … I
applied for a job at the museum and they hired me and then I thought to myself
as I sat at the desk the first day, what am I doing. This could be the shortest job
in history. Then I calmed down and I just applied the idea that what would I want
to know being Jill Six Pack on the street, because I didn’t know that much about
the museum and I went on from there and it all worked out very nicely.

Vital Stats: Suzanne Farwell

Born: January 30, in London, England to a French mother and a British
father

Family: Husband Larry Farwell; two grown children, Nick, who lives in Seattle,
and Lara, who lives in Palo Alto; and a grandson, Bennett, 14 months.

Professional Accomplishments: Masters Degree in French; Chef/Caterer at Jane
Fonda’s Ranch; Worked in communications for Santa Barbara Museum of
Natural History; Voiceover Artist, now voices the calendar on KDB radio station;
Professional Belly Dancer; Director of Communications for the Santa Barbara
Foundation.

Best Book You’ve Read Recently: Kate Wilhelm’s “Barbara Holloway” series of
mysteries and Orson Scott Card’s “Ender’s Game” series.

Little-Known Fact: “I think I’ve exposed all of the little known facts. The dancing, I
don’t bring that out that much. They are really two separate things. When they
intersect it’s interesting, but it’s not the first thing out of my mouth.”

Originally published in Noozhawk on June 7, 2009. To read it there click here.

Life lessons

Courtesy Photo

Courtesy Photo

For some it’s all about the sweets, but the practical experience of selling can turn a girl into one smart cookie

Along with the taste of Thin Mints, Samoas and Tag-a-longs, local Girl Scouts are also savoring the sweet smell of success while learning how to set goals, be persistent, organize their schedules and other valuable skills.

“I don’t really have a secret; my mom and I, we just go everywhere, door to door (selling cookies),” said Tiondra Flynn, an 8th grader at Carpinteria Middle School who is one of the top sellers in the area. “Last year I made a goal for myself of 2,000 boxes and I’m at 2,002 right now.”

Goal setting is one of the most important skills learned selling cookies. “(They ask themselves) what do I need to do to accomplish an end result benefit? It might be the reward (that motivates the girls) but to get there requires specific behavior,” said Jeff Blackman, author of five books for sales professionals, including the recent Amazon bestseller Stop Whining, Start Selling.

The girls set pretty high goals and figure out very creative ways of reaching them, said Mary Hernandez of the local Girl Scouts of Tres Condados Council. “If they don’t reach that goal that’s another life lesson.”

The girls and adult volunteers select all of the incentives; they’re not preplanned, said Hernandez.

Last year Valerie Vampola sold more than 1,000 boxes and earned a free week at summer camp. “I want to see if I can do it again,” said the St. Raphael School 7th grader.

“They give us prizes for every hundred (boxes) or so, but if we reach 1,000 we get to go to Camp Tecuya for free. I’ve been going for like five years, it’s a really cool place,” said Flynn.

Along with summer camp, t-shirts, backpacks and beach towels can be earned. Some of the girls are motivated by college scholarships. “The reason why I’m still selling cookies, they have a scholarship program. If I’m a Girl Scout all the way through high school, I get a scholarship of 35 cents per box,” said Flynn, who said she’s really fond of animals and someday wants to train killer whales “like they do at Sea World.”

“By setting goals you give yourself a road map of what to follow rather than aimlessly pursuing the task,” said Maura Schreier-Fleming, president of Best@selling.

It’s important to set realistic goals, said Steve Waterhouse, president of the Waterhouse Group. And also to have a process tied to that goal. The girls should figure out how many houses to visit if they want to sell a certain number of cookies. “If you want to sell 50 boxes you can’t go out for just half an hour.”

While some pros said persistence is critical, Jacques Werth, author of High Probability Selling, disagrees. “We’ve studied what the top sales people do in 23 different industries on three continents. You shouldn’t spend more than one minute with people who don’t want to buy,” said Werth. “It’s all about dealing with people on the basis of mutual trust and respect. When you refuse to take no for an answer that’s not showing respect.”

“I’ve definitely learned how to take a no for answer,” said Flynn, who’s been in scouting for almost eight years. “If they just say ‘no,’ then I just say ‘thanks,’ then I just leave. When I was first starting out as a Brownie, I didn’t understand why they didn’t want any. I would be like ‘Oh, how come?’ ”

“In reality, getting a NO from a prospect is just as valuable as a YES. … Because while you are wasting your time hounding someone to get them to buy, Lord knows how many prospects, who would be much easier to sell, are getting away from you?” said Jim Labadie, owner of Howtogetmoreclients.com.

“(You have to) not be afraid to ask people. You never know who will buy and who won’t,” said Vampola. “And then sometimes if they say no, sometimes I try to encourage them to buy.”

Parental support is an important ingredient in the girl’s success. “My parents help me out. They bring (sign-up) sheets to their jobs and I go door to door, and then when cookies are finally out I try to go to booth sales as often as I can and stay there as much time as I can,” said Vampola, whose mother Irma is her troop leader and father Mark is the cookie chairman as well as the booth chairman for the region.

Flynn’s mother Pete is also her troop leader and an expert in the up-sell technique, according to her daughter. “If they give us $20, she’ll say ‘you can buy five with that’ rather than immediately giving them change,” said Flynn.

Another technique that works well for Girls Scouts is called “assumptive selling.” When author Blackman’s daughter Brittney was about 7 or 8, their town endured a really cold winter, and it was tough to sell cookies door to door. Rather than give up, Brittney simply picked up the phone and called every single person who bought from her the previous year. Her pitch: “Would you like to order the same number of boxes as last year or should I put you down for even more?”

Sounds like one smart cookie indeed.

Originally published in South Coast Beacon

The gift of charity

anankkml, freedigitalphotos.net

anankkml, freedigitalphotos.net

It’s hard to avoid the symptoms. “I want that.” “Mommy/Daddy/Grandma, buy me this and this and this…”

Here are some ways to help prevent your child from coming down with an annual case of “the gimmes,” and maybe even provide a little bit of instruction about the true spirit of the holiday season.

Start in your coat closets. Pull out all the old coats your children have outgrown or you don’t wear anymore and take them to Casa Esperanza (816 Cacique St., 884.8481), Transition House (425 E. Cota St., 966.9668) or the Santa Barbara Rescue Mission (535 E. Yanonoli St., 966.1316).

Or better yet, get your friends in on the act and host a coat party. Have guests bring coats that are used but still in good condition. Put younger kids to work cleaning out pockets and using masking tape to mark areas that need to be mended or buttons that are missing. Help older kids sew buttons and do simple mending. Other kids can decide which coats might need dry cleaning and which are ready to go. It’ll be a celebration sure to give everyone a warm feeling.

Another variation of this is to have a food party. Ask your guests for canned food and have children help pack it up for the FoodBank of Santa Barbara County (4554 Hollister Ave., 967.5741). You also can host toy or book parties along the same lines.

Sponsor a needy child or family. Transition House has more than 130 children to be “adopted” this Christmas, said volunteer coordinator Xochitl Ortiz. Interested sponsors can call her directly at 966.9668 x115 to receive a wish list from a child or visit the shelter at 425 E. Cota St. and pick someone to sponsor from the “Giving Tree,” where ornaments list a child’s name, age, and wish for something he or she would like for the holidays.

“We can definitely use all the Secret Santas that we can get,” Ortiz said. “We have almost twice as many people as we did last year or the year before.”

For those unable to make two trips to Transition House and want to just buy a toy, Ortiz said popular requests this year are Bionicles, Hot Wheels, My Little Pony, Video Now Players and Cabbage Patch kids. Wrapping paper, tape and ribbon are also needed.

You can also sponsor an adult, “by maybe donating a gift card to like Macy’s so that they can get work clothes after the holiday sale,” said Ortiz. “We’re hoping to get everything in by Dec. 20, only because if someone doesn’t get adopted, it gives staff enough time to go out and shop for that family or that individual.”

The Salvation Army (4849 Hollister Ave., 964.3230 x13) also has a similar program, with about 120 more families waiting to be “adopted” for Christmas. Working from a “wish list,” sponsors buy each child in the family a new, wrapped gift, one clothing item for each member of the family and a food or grocery voucher for Christmas dinner.

“You can even request a certain age group of children and we’ll try and match it as closely as possible,” said Lt. Stacy Cross, who asked that all items be brought to the Salvation Army by Dec. 17. There are also “Angel Trees” (similar to the “Giving Trees” described above) at most of the Santa Barbara Bank & Trust branches, La Cumbre Plaza and toy drives at seven of the local Longs Drugs locations.

Another way to give to the Salvation Army is making cash donations to bell ringers. Young children enjoy putting coins in the kettle and it’s a good chance to explain to them that the money goes to help people who are less fortunate.

Laurie Jewell Evans suggested this is also a good opportunity to teach children about budgets. Decide how much money you will donate this year, then put that money into an envelope in small bills and coins and keep it in your purse.

“Then, every time my daughter and I pass a bell-ringer, she can take a coin or bill from the envelope and donate it, until all the money is gone,” she said.

Another way to donate your spare change is through San Marcos High’s annual Penny Drive to benefit Unity Shoppe. Canisters are located at most of the local schools. You can also drop off your dollars and cents at the South Coast Beacon, 15 W. Figueroa St.

Sometimes all it takes is just a reminder of just how fortunate we are to put the holidays into perspective for all of us. Ortiz shared this story from Transition House.

“It’s not an over the top Christmas … when it’s a family as a unit that’s homeless, it can become quite a hard time for them to have to spend at a shelter. The parents get depressed because they feel like they’ve failed. The kids feel discouraged because they have to go back to school and tell their friends what they got for Christmas and they’re worried they might not get anything. And a lot of them don’t tell their friends they are staying at a shelter.

“It’s a really tough time for them, so we try to alleviate that … we surprise them on Christmas morning with all of the gifts. … We can’t do it without the help from the community … as soon as they find out what we need, everyone’s so wonderful as far as being able to provide.”

Originally published in South Coast Beacon

A girlfriend’s guide to Santa Barbara parenting

Rachael Steidl (courtesy photo)

Rachael Steidl (courtesy photo)

A Web site devoted just to harried parents offers information 24/7

Many stay-at-home moms dream of starting a business, but Rachael Steidl actually went out and did it. Working from 8 p.m. until midnight most nights, and squeezing in an additional 20 hours a week when her three daughters are otherwise occupied, Santa Barbara Parent Source (SBParent.com) has become an indispensable resource for parents just a year after launching.

Part Internet portal and part bulletin board, the site is a centralized place for all things related to parenting in Santa Barbara. Need an activity for your son’s birthday? There are two pages of listings, with descriptions, contact information and links to Web sites. That’s in addition to resource links for catering, invitations, locations, party coordinators and supplies, plus tips on gift ideas and thank you notes.

Want the skinny on camp signups? It’s all there, as is information on taxes, a calendar of kid-related events and a whole lot more. Parents want bullet points, said Steidl.

“As a mom … I’m tired of looking in phone books and just getting a name and a number,” she said. “I want information.”

Steidl said she first thought about writing a book of resources for parents, but abandoned the idea. Things change too quickly.

“I literally update stuff every single day on the Web site,” she said. “The other thing (that makes the Web ideal) is parents look for information at the most random times. You’ve got one parent who’s looking for preschool a month before they need it, and you’ve got one parent looking while they’re pregnant.

“What I’ve told businesses from the get-go is that people need to have this information year round, so that they know that they can find the information anytime they feel like going and looking for it.”

The site is supported 100 percent by advertising, which keeps it free to parents.

“What I really try to encourage businesses to do, and some have been very supportive of this, is that by listing on the site you’re giving parents choices,” she said. “You may not need the business, but there’s parents who want to know about your program and may not be talking to the right people to find out about it.”

The company also publishes an e-newsletter twice a month, which Steidl said is catching on quickly. In addition to listing upcoming events, the newsletter features articles of interest to parents and philanthropic opportunities for families. Giving back to the community is an important value for Steidl. Recently she co-sponsored the first annual Mother’s Day 5K and Family Festival, in partnership with Jamie Allison from Moms in Motion, and part of the proceeds went to Domestic Violence Solutions.

“Both Jamie and I share a very similar philosophy to support moms and women and taking care of themselves and staying connected with people,” she said.

To connect with Steidl and Santa Barbara Parent Source visit www.sbparent.com or call 448.2426.

Originally published in South Coast Beacon (2005)

Got an hour? Get up and go to …

num_skyman, freedigitalphotos.net

num_skyman, freedigitalphotos.net

We all agree the South Coast is paradise, but sometimes it’s nice to get away for the day. Here are a few favorite destinations for when you’re looking to get the heck out of Dodge, and the best part is, they’re all less than an hour’s drive away — weather permitting.

Just off Highway 154 north are Painted Cave, with its stunning rock art, and Knapp Castle, which can be reached from a path off East Camino Cielo. The “castle” is actually a ghostly scattering of rock ruins of a mountain lodge that burned in a 1940 wildfire, overlooking incredible views of the Santa Ynez Valley.

Further north is Lake Cachuma, which is not only our primary water source, it’s also a great place for fishing, boating, hiking, horseback riding and camping. From November to February, hundreds of bald eagles winter here and you often can see them on a two-hour guided boat ride aboard the Osprey. From March through October, the cruise takes a look at area wildlife, wildflowers and resident birds along the shore. The cost is $15 for adults and $7 for children. Call 686.5050 for reservations.

A little further north the charms of Los Olivos beckon, with wonderful shopping, galleries and wine tasting just a short drive away. Stop by the always delightful boutique Persnickety (2900 Grand Ave.; 686.8955) for a fabulous selection of gift items, including vintage linens, birdhouses, ladies’ dresses and more. The Arthur Earl tasting room (2921 Grand Ave.; 693.1771) is also highly recommended.

Also nearby is the Chumash Casino (3400 E. Highway 246), with free live music every Friday and Saturday night, as well as a new resort hotel and spa (call 1.877.248.6274 for reservations).

Don’t forget Solvang, “the Danish capital of America,” where no visit is complete without an aebleskiver, available at any of the many bakeries in town. For theater fans, the PCPA features a wonderful outdoor venue. Call 922.8313 for ticket information and showtimes.

A short distance down Solvang’s Alisal Road is Nojoqui Falls where Upper Nojoqui Creek falls about 80 feet over a sandstone cliff and into a mossy haven, surrounded by Venus maidenhair ferns. The falls end in a shallow pool that’s fun to wade in or just watch the water insect show.

You could also head into the wine country. Try the Foxen Canyon Trail where you will encounter a series of excellent wineries including Firestone Vineyard, Curtis Winery, Fess Parker Winery, Zaca Mesa Winery, Bedford Thompson Winery, Foxen Winery, Rancho Sisquoc, Cambria Winery and Cottonwood Canyon Vineyard.

Heading west, Jalama Beach lies at the end of Jalama Road that turns off Highway 1 south of Lompoc. The beachside park offers camping, a playground, windsurfing and a snack bar serving the famous Jalamaburger. Just remember to get a lot of napkins: these puppies are messy.

You could also head south from Santa Barbara to Ojai, located inland between Santa Barbara and Ventura. Nestled in a scenic deep valley, Ojai is surrounded by steep mountains that soar to 6,000 feet. Ojai is known as an artist’s community, which is reflected by a number of unique galleries and shops.

Going further south, Old Town Ventura is quite charming, with a wealth of shops and restaurants. Also worth checking out is Mission San Buenaventura, (211 E. Main St., 643.4318) the ninth and last California mission founded by Father Junipero Serra. There are also several yacht harbors in Ventura, which offer seafood restaurants, shops, boating, fishing and bay cruises.

Of course, you could always head home and be a tourist in your own town. Not many locals have done the self-guided Red-Tile Walking Tour, which begins at the Courthouse. And when was the last time you went to the Santa Barbara Museum of Natural History, the Santa Barbara Mission, the Courthouse, the Botanic Garden, Stearns Wharf or the zoo? Sometimes the best getaway can be found right in your own backyard.

Originally published in South Coast Beacon

We’ll save you money in 30 Steps

Follow these tips to keep money in your pockets

Who isn’t looking for ways to save some cash? Here’s a month’s worth of money-saving tips — some big, some not so big — to start developing good financial habits.

1. Pay off credit weekly. Credit-card companies accrue interest daily, so if the minimum amount due is $100, send $25 weekly instead of paying at the end of the month to save money on interest.

2. Claim the child tax credit on your return, advises Babytalk Finance Guide. Depending on your income, this credit can shave as much as $1,000 from your taxes.

3. Get a “family share” cell-phone plan. A regular 400-minute plan is about $40 a month, but share an 800-minute plan with your spouse for just $70 and you save $10.

4. Hector A. Jimenez of West Coast Mortgage recommends comparing points, costs and interest rates when refinancing. “You may have to pay a higher interest rate over the life of the loan if you get a ‘no point’ loan,” he said. “Always ask your broker if rebate pricing is involved on your loan.”

5. When searching for the cheapest airline tickets, shop early in the morning. According to Consumer Credit Counseling Service, most airlines and travel sites introduce their promotional fares in the middle of the night.

6. CCCS also suggests you consider adjusting your withholding allowances to cover what you owe and no more. The average income tax refund in 2003 was more than $2,000, so Uncle Sam got to use that $166 each month instead of you.

7. To shave years off of your mortgage and save thousands of dollars in interest, send in one extra principal payment each year, advises CCCS. Or, divide your monthly payment by 12, and add that amount to each payment, noting that it is for principal only.

8. Want to transfer your tax basis under Proposition 60, but the home you’re buying is more than your current residence? Jon Mahoney of Coldwell Banker suggests paying all or part of real estate commissions separately, thereby reducing the purchase amount. “This can save you thousands of dollars every year,” he said.

9. The online forum, wwww.savingadvice.com, recommends participating in a child-care flexible spending account if your employer has one. This is a special Internal Revenue Service account that allows you to set aside money for child-care expenses with pre-tax dollars.

To save money on college expenses, savingadvice.com offers these tips:

10. Although application deadlines for most college scholarships aren’t due until senior year, start searching for grants and scholarships freshman year. By finding potential awards when your child begins high school, he or she can choose classes and participate in activities that will provide a better chance of getting free cash.

11. Education IRAs (Coverdell Education Savings Accounts) are no longer just for college. You may contribute up to $2,000 a year per beneficiary, and the money may now be used for elementary and secondary school costs as well as college expenses.

12. Reduce your college expenses by earning as many college credits outside the classroom as possible. Advanced Placement tests, internships, public service and job- training programs are a few examples of ways you can trim tuition costs by earning college credit outside the classroom.

13. There are some 750,000 college scholarships available to qualified students. While many of these are financial need- and grade-based, many others aren’t. Don’t let household income or grades stop you from searching for scholarships.

14. You’re allowed to pay any amount for an unlimited number of people’s college tuitions — not room and board or school supplies — without owing any gift taxes. For the tuition payments to qualify, you must pay the tuition directly to the college.

15. Signing up for a 401(k)? “Be sure to review the company benefit, and if there is a match, contribute the full amount necessary to take full advantage,” recommended Rich Schuette, senior advisor for TS Capital Group. “If you don’t, it’s like leaving free money on the table and can cost you tens of thousands of dollars over your working career.”

16. Consider a high deductible health insurance plan if available and save the difference in premium into an HSA (health savings account), advises Schuette. The money is tax deductible and will grow tax deferred, giving you the possibility of paying for many medical needs with tax-free money.

17. If you own rental property, consider working for your own property management company and start an additional retirement plan for yourself, lowering your tax liability and growing your retirement assets, suggests Schuette.

18. Pat Veretto of Frugal Living recommends: “Raise your auto insurance deductible and your premium will drop. If you now have $100 deductible, raise it to $500 or even $1,000 if you can do it and your insurance company allows it. Put that amount in a savings account and leave it to earn interest. If you don’t have an accident, it’ll still be yours and you’ll be making a little money on it. Even if you do have an accident, you’ll have the money to pay up. You won’t have lost anything because the difference in the premium will probably already have made up for any amount you have to pay on your own.”

19. Go digital. If you take 48 pictures a month, a digital camera can save you $20 a month, plus you don’t have all those not-up-to-par prints sitting around in boxes.

20. If you don’t keep good records, you’re probably not claiming all of your allowable income tax deductions and credits, advises Deborah Fowles in Your Guide to Financial Planning. “Set up a system now and use it all year. It’s much easier than scrambling to find everything at tax time, only to miss items that might have saved you money.”

21. “You’ve probably heard of the famous real estate mantra ‘location, location, location,’ but do you know the financial mantra ‘tracking, tracking, tracking?’ It is the single most important thing you can do — and the first step — to put you in the driver’s seat of your own life,” according to Linda Starr of Budget-Tools-and-Tips.com.

22. You may lower the price of a round-trip airfare by as much as two-thirds by making certain you stay over a Saturday evening, and by purchasing the ticket in advance, recommends Starr.

23. In these days of rising gas prices, she also suggests you can save money on gas by keeping your engine tuned and your tires inflated to their proper pressure.

Don’t just look to the present when it comes to finance, Candace Bahr and Ginita Wall, authors of It’s More Than Money-It’s Your Life: The New Money Club for Women, advise teaching children about financial decision-making by:

24. Starting allowances early, around age 5 or 6. Don’t let your children get in the habit of asking you for cash rather than choosing responsibly how to save and spend their own money.

25. Teach children how credit cards work. If children know how the cards work before they get one, they may be able to handle the responsibility better than teens who get a card and know nothing about them.

26. Starting a family Money Club. Your older teens may benefit from being included in a Money Club where they can report to other family members about money issues and help make group decisions.

Save money at the grocery store with these tips from www.grocerysavingstips.com.

27. When a product is on sale like “two for $5” you can almost always purchase just one of the items for the sale price (which in this case would be $2.50). In other words, you do not have to purchase two, or three, or four, or whatever else the sale sign says.

28. Don’t be brand loyal. Try to buy only what’s on sale. Sometimes a name brand can even be on sale for the same price as the store brand, or less, so read those tags carefully.

29. If you have a magazine you tend to keep picking up each month while you’re at the grocery just subscribe to the darn thing and save yourself $20!

30. In case these financial tips are coming a little too late and you need to file for bankruptcy, Ira and Linda Distenfield recently published We The People’s Guide to Bankruptcy, which helps consumers file for bankruptcy as affordably and painlessly as possible, before new federal laws go into effect in October.

Beacon intern Katherine Manning contributed to this report.

Originally published in the South Coast Beacon.

Talk about a walk

Photo by graur razvan ionut (freedigitalphotos.net)

Photo by graur razvan ionut (freedigitalphotos.net)

After 27 years, these ladies think they’ve hit their stride

It’s been said that walking a mile in someone’s shoes fuels greater understanding — so just imagine what walking three miles together, five days a week, for 27 years, will fuel.

In the case of walking partners Judy Bernstein, Beverley Brier, Natalie Gaynes, Barbara Mizes, Blanca Presser and Phyllis Cox (who joined the group in 1998), they’ve shared laughter, friendship, triumph and sorrow. They’ve also seen how the South Coast has changed in the Patterson Avenue/Kellogg School neighborhood they’ve walked for so many years.

“We have been through the many travails all these years, starting with young children, teenagers, college entrance exams, weddings and now grandchildren…” Brier said. “One gentleman who has seen us walking for years said we look like Pacman, the mouths are all going a mile-a-minute.”

The mouths may be moving quickly, but so are the legs. Even our 20-something photographer was huffing and puffing as we took an early morning walk with these dynamos.

Presser and Gaynes started walking together and the others quickly joined in. Bernstein said she started out trying to get in shape for her first trip to Europe, adding that having a group of friends to exercise with is very motivating.

“It’s so long and so boring and so tiring and when you talk, you don’t notice it,” Bernstein said.

“We solve the world’s problems on our walks,” Brier said.

“But most of them are personal,” Bernstein added.

Cox recalled that she joined the group the year before her daughter got married, and had her friends help guide her through the planning. Last week, Mizes was planning her father’s funeral and Brier was helping with a memorial for a close friend.

While the ladies have serious discussions during their walks, sometimes inspired by their lives and sometimes by the changes they see, they also have fun.

Not only have the women formed friendships among themselves, they’ve gotten to know the neighbors. The men at a residential care home wave each morning and let them know if they’re running late, while the neighborhood dogs expect a pat on the head.

“I cannot tell you how many people that I meet at a dinner party who say, ‘Do I see you walking?'” Mizes said.

The sweat is pouring but the banter stays lively throughout our walk.

Some of their husbands wonder how they have so much to say to each other, but Brier said they’re never at a loss.

“If you want to say something you have to jump in,” said Mizes, who once recruited a member (Ginny Alexander, who has since moved) on a flight to London. She even tried to get the Beacon staffers to join.

“We’ll get you through all of the trials and tribulations,” she said. “Every time you think you’ve got a problem, by the time you go through us giving you input you’ll feel better.”

Thanks. We already do.

Originally published in South Coast Beacon