Tag Archives: South Coasting

Got an hour? Get up and go to …

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We all agree the South Coast is paradise, but sometimes it’s nice to get away for the day. Here are a few favorite destinations for when you’re looking to get the heck out of Dodge, and the best part is, they’re all less than an hour’s drive away — weather permitting.

Just off Highway 154 north are Painted Cave, with its stunning rock art, and Knapp Castle, which can be reached from a path off East Camino Cielo. The “castle” is actually a ghostly scattering of rock ruins of a mountain lodge that burned in a 1940 wildfire, overlooking incredible views of the Santa Ynez Valley.

Further north is Lake Cachuma, which is not only our primary water source, it’s also a great place for fishing, boating, hiking, horseback riding and camping. From November to February, hundreds of bald eagles winter here and you often can see them on a two-hour guided boat ride aboard the Osprey. From March through October, the cruise takes a look at area wildlife, wildflowers and resident birds along the shore. The cost is $15 for adults and $7 for children. Call 686.5050 for reservations.

A little further north the charms of Los Olivos beckon, with wonderful shopping, galleries and wine tasting just a short drive away. Stop by the always delightful boutique Persnickety (2900 Grand Ave.; 686.8955) for a fabulous selection of gift items, including vintage linens, birdhouses, ladies’ dresses and more. The Arthur Earl tasting room (2921 Grand Ave.; 693.1771) is also highly recommended.

Also nearby is the Chumash Casino (3400 E. Highway 246), with free live music every Friday and Saturday night, as well as a new resort hotel and spa (call 1.877.248.6274 for reservations).

Don’t forget Solvang, “the Danish capital of America,” where no visit is complete without an aebleskiver, available at any of the many bakeries in town. For theater fans, the PCPA features a wonderful outdoor venue. Call 922.8313 for ticket information and showtimes.

A short distance down Solvang’s Alisal Road is Nojoqui Falls where Upper Nojoqui Creek falls about 80 feet over a sandstone cliff and into a mossy haven, surrounded by Venus maidenhair ferns. The falls end in a shallow pool that’s fun to wade in or just watch the water insect show.

You could also head into the wine country. Try the Foxen Canyon Trail where you will encounter a series of excellent wineries including Firestone Vineyard, Curtis Winery, Fess Parker Winery, Zaca Mesa Winery, Bedford Thompson Winery, Foxen Winery, Rancho Sisquoc, Cambria Winery and Cottonwood Canyon Vineyard.

Heading west, Jalama Beach lies at the end of Jalama Road that turns off Highway 1 south of Lompoc. The beachside park offers camping, a playground, windsurfing and a snack bar serving the famous Jalamaburger. Just remember to get a lot of napkins: these puppies are messy.

You could also head south from Santa Barbara to Ojai, located inland between Santa Barbara and Ventura. Nestled in a scenic deep valley, Ojai is surrounded by steep mountains that soar to 6,000 feet. Ojai is known as an artist’s community, which is reflected by a number of unique galleries and shops.

Going further south, Old Town Ventura is quite charming, with a wealth of shops and restaurants. Also worth checking out is Mission San Buenaventura, (211 E. Main St., 643.4318) the ninth and last California mission founded by Father Junipero Serra. There are also several yacht harbors in Ventura, which offer seafood restaurants, shops, boating, fishing and bay cruises.

Of course, you could always head home and be a tourist in your own town. Not many locals have done the self-guided Red-Tile Walking Tour, which begins at the Courthouse. And when was the last time you went to the Santa Barbara Museum of Natural History, the Santa Barbara Mission, the Courthouse, the Botanic Garden, Stearns Wharf or the zoo? Sometimes the best getaway can be found right in your own backyard.

Originally published in South Coast Beacon

First Time Home Buyers: There’s Nothing Like the First Time

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Here on the South Coast — where multiple bidders compete to buy $1 million generic tract houses that “need work” — first time homebuyers are definitely in the minority. But a surprising number of working professionals are getting into the market via some very creative configurations, both in terms of financing and sometimes even living situations.

“It’s a lot more complicated than just finding a property,” said Nicole Dinkelacker, a realtor with RE/MAX’s Goleta office who’s been in the business for 20 years. “Anybody with less than ten percent down, it’s very competitive and difficult.”

Difficult, but not impossible.

“You can get 100 percent financing. You have to have beautiful credit, of course, but it isn’t like you have to come up with a huge amount of money, or at least you should talk to a realtor before you decide that,” said Rebekah Mulder, a realtor with Prudential California Realty in Santa Barbara.

A former teacher and principal at Cold Springs School, who got out of education to become a financial planner and real estate agent, Mulder said she still finds a lot of her job involves educating her clients about the tax advantages of investing in real estate, as well as the many creative ways to make buying a house possible in the Santa Barbara market.

One of the unique financing methods she often teaches first-time buyers about is equity sharing, where a parent, an employer or a third party will invest in buying a house in partnership with the person who will live there.

Recently, Steen Hudson (the Director of the Rescue Mission) and his wife Trina entered into an equity share agreement with his employers, said Mulder. “The mission is realizing money on its investment and if the Hudson’s so choose they can steadily buy the mission out. It’s a great way for employers to help out their employees and make an investment as well.”

“Equity sharing is a great investment. You pair up older people who really don’t want to go out and buy an apartment house or something. Most people are unaware that if you own a residential income property, you can depreciate that property. Even if its actually appreciating, the tax code allows you depreciate it, which then shelters that much of your earned income from any taxes at all,” said Mulder. The IRS allows you to treat one physical property as both a residential property and a residential income property (divided proportionately), she explained.

Rather than asking parents or others to “help” with a down payment, Mulder advises approaching it like a business opportunity and will often make the presentation to parents as a neutral party. “We have (37-page) contracts where you negotiate every horrible thing that could happen.”

“Another thing that piggybacks on that is that buying a property with a rental on it is really good option, especially for someone that’s maybe got high income but maybe no money down, said Sharol Mulder, Rebekah’s daughter and business partner.

“A lot of times if we have people with a lot of money down, it’s a better bottom line if they buy a more expensive property with a rental on it. So let’s say they could go buy a $600,000 condo, they could probably buy a $900,000 house with a rental on it and actually come out paying less per month,” said Sharol, who recently made this type of deal with buyers Dave and Eliza Reed and Kate Russell (Eliza’s sister). “They bought a neat old turn of the century Craftsman plus an additional duplex on West Sola. … They rent out the main house for maximum income.”

In addition to financing options, first-time homebuyers often need to be educated on the basics about realtors. “There are a lot of people out there who don’t know how realtors get paid. We’re seeing people walk into open houses and work with the realtor who’s there without a recommendation. … As a buyer you’re not going to pay the realtor’s commission but you really need a good realtor, so you need a good recommendation. … It’s a great benefit to you as a buyer that the seller is going to pay your realtor’s commission but it doesn’t take away the responsibility that you have to find someone who’s really good to represent you,” said Sharol.

Having professional, experienced representation is even more important with the current climate of multiple offers being made for any given listing. “Houses are going really quickly,” said Gloria Herrera, one of Dinkelacker’s clients who recently purchased a home in Carpinteria after making an offer on another. “The whole thing has really been a learning experience.”

There’s nothing like the first time … starting next week, our South Coast Homes section will feature case studies of local first time buyers. We’ll go inside their homes to see what they were able to buy and how they were able to do it.

Originally published in South Coast Beacon

Neighborhood at odds

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Planning Commission hears concerns on converting St. Francis into Cottage employee housing

Almost 150 people packed the hearing room at City Hall on Thursday, no small feat the week before Christmas. In the hot seat was Cottage Hospital’s plan to develop condominiums on the old St. Francis Medical Center property.

“No one at Cottage Hospital ever imagined that we would have to build houses to fulfill our mission, but we have to do just that,” said Cottage Health Systems‘ CEO Ron Werft, in presenting the project to the Planning Commission. It costs roughly $40,000-$50,000 to recruit and train an employee, said Cottage spokesperson Janet O’Neill, so part of the hospital’s motivation is to retain employees.

Describing the proposal to build 116 units on the site — 70 percent of which will be affordable or “workforce housing” for employees — Marshall Rose, chairman of the nonprofit’s housing task force, anticipated objections from neighbors. “This is not about ruining a neighborhood; it is about replacing a once vital healthcare organization with an even greater need,” he said.

The crowd was split on the project’s merits. Expressing empathy for the difficulty Cottage has recruiting and retaining top talent in this expensive housing market and applauding its efforts to provide housing were top officials from UCSB, Santa Barbara City College and Westmont. One neighbor against the project commented afterward, “They really brought in the suits. But our opinions are just as important.”

Criticism mostly centered on neighborhood compatibility concerns. While Cottage and city officials held two neighborhood meetings, the general consensus among those who live nearby was that their concerns weren’t being accommodated. “The comments have neither given the neighbors much hope or much confidence,” was Steven Doty’s written response to the plan.

“I don’t think it’s a matter of fear, I think it’s a matter of trust. I don’t think it’s been earned,” said Joan Marshall, another neighbor.

“We’re all for workforce housing,” said Dee Duncan, who works closely with Bungalow Haven neighborhood association. “But protecting and preserving is equally important to the people who live here.”

Cheri Rae, also from the Bungalow Haven group, expressed dismay after the hearing. “It sounds like the employees are pitted against the neighbors. That’s not true. We are workforce people. We just don’t want to lose the quality of life that has attracted us to Santa Barbara.”

Several in the audience and on the commission said they thought the concurrent Cottage Hospital remodel project should be planned in parallel and suggested that some of the existing St. Francis Medical Center facility (set to be demolished) could be put to medical use, with workforce housing put in the neighborhood near Cottage. Other concerns were how long the property would remain affordable, the number of market rate units, a lack of green space on the property and that there was too much parking, since Cottage said it plans to run a shuttle to its facilities in Santa Barbara in Goleta.

The meeting was an initial concept review, so the commission took no formal action on the project other than to provide feedback.

Originally published in South Coast Beacon

First Time Home Buyers: Lowered Expectations

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Like many first time homebuyers, Jennifer Cartwright and Bob Freed had to lower their expectations a bit when they set out to buy something on the South Coast. When they originally saw their condominium at 235 Aspen Way in Santa Barbara, they didn’t like it. “After seeing what was out there and the locations and prices, that’s where everything kind of just clicked that this had pretty much everything we wanted,” said Freed of the two bedroom, one and a half bath condo they recently purchased for $453,000.

Price was definitely part of what influenced the purchase, said Cartwright. In October, the then-engaged couple (who wed in late April) were “just kind of investigating options” with realtor/friend Bob Curtis. “We didn’t care if it was a house or a condo. We didn’t think we would be able to afford anything in the first place,” she said.

“It was all timing. What we basically wanted to do is stop paying the man. It’s just a different way of looking at savings,” said Freed.

The money for their down payment was an inheritance from Cartwright’s grandmother. “We got really lucky,” said Freed, who was sharing a house with roommates at the time, while Cartwright lived in a studio apartment. The condo had been recently painted and carpeted and didn’t need much work.

The couple also gave a lot of credit to their realtor. “Bob is an excellent real estate agent. He really took the time to kind of teach us all there was to learn about,” said Freed.

“And we had a lot of questions. Poor Bob, we were calling him daily almost,” added Cartwright. “Before we even looked at things, he set us up with Metro City Mortgage, which was our mortgage broker and told us all the right things to do. … Then when we went out to go look, we knew what we could afford. We weren’t in the dark,” she said.

The condo they purchased had been on the market for several months, unusual in Santa Barbara. “It was overpriced … It was on the market for 180 days or something like that. People were thinking that it was a lemon because no one had bought it right away, but that was because they listed it way too high,” said Cartwright.

The sellers lowered the price and Cartwright and Freed took the plunge and made an offer — after looking at places for only about a week. “I asked Bob at that time, I said are we moving too fast and what if we wait until the wedding,” said Freed. “Bob said, ‘You know, my gut instinct, if you wait, you’re going to pay $30,000 to $40,000 more.’ And actually condos of this size and this location are going for about 500 now,” said Freed.

While clubhouse amenities weren’t much of an attraction for the couple, who both work for the YMCA, what appealed to them about the condo was its secluded feel and location within the complex. “It’s off the street, further away … with the creek in the back, you’re guaranteed no one’s going to build,” said Cartwright.

“I feel more relaxed when I get home, I don’t know how I’m going to explain this but it’s like you’re really going home,” said Freed. “It’s just a neat feeling.”

Originally published in South Coast Beacon

First Time Home Buyers: Going Condo

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The quest to buy a condominium on the South Coast can be grueling on the nerves. “It was crazy. You’d go out and at every open house … you’d see all the same people all the time,” said Cari Thomas, who recently purchased a San Roque condo with her husband Sam. “They started looking like your competition. Like you didn’t want to smile at anybody.”

“I think our biggest surprise was the amount of demand and the fact that there were multiple offers over the asking price,” said Sam. The Thomases looked at dozens of condos and were outbid on six different places before purchasing their new home at 3663 San Remo Drive for $560,000.

We feel like we lucked out, said Cari.

“Once you get a firm understanding of the market, your standards change a little bit. There were places the first weekend we looked that were significantly less money that were not as nice, but a month and a half later we were wishing we would have made offers on those ones that we saw early on,” said Sam.

As is the case with many first-time homebuyers, the two-bedroom, two-bath place the Thomases purchased was more expensive than what they originally budgeted for. When their realtor, Judith McDermott from Village Properties, urged them to “Just drive by and see what you can get for that amount,” they immediately liked it enough to call their loan broker and make the arrangements to make an offer.

“We put five percent down and are using an interest only loan. Some of the money was from savings, some was from a previous 401K plan, and some was an investment from friends,” said Sam.

Part of what sold them on the condo was its immediate livability. “The paint, it’s amazing what paint and color can do. And it was decorated really nicely and the mountain view was pretty,” said Cari. She also liked the fact that the condo overlooks a pool and the rooms were pretty spacious compared to other condominiums.

“It definitely felt modern and we liked how they redid all the architecture on the outside,” said Sam, noting that the kitchen appliances were upgraded three years ago when the complex was converted from apartments to condominiums.

The fact that the association fees were comparatively low was also a plus for the Thomases. Another advantage was the location, close to downtown and their workplace, Cima Management.

At the time of their purchase, they simply saw the Hope School District location as a plus for the condominium’s resale value. However, the Thomases have since learned they’re expecting their first child in November.

“It (the school district) wasn’t something we were searching for initially, but now it worked out great,” Cari said.

Originally published in South Coast Beacon

Cantor Baby

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December is one of the cruelest months for Jews.

Sure we have Hanukkah to celebrate our urge to shop, and latkes to indulge our genetic urge for carbs, and we can decorate in blue and silver to our hearts’ content, but the one thing we’re lacking in is carols. Let’s face it, other than “Oh Hanukkah,” and Adam Sandler’s “Hanukkah Song,” there aren’t a whole lot of Hanukkah hymns on the airwaves.

Rather than kvetch and whine about the lack of Chanukah chants this holiday season, I decided to do something about it. As with all things Jewish and musical, first I turned to my Cantor for inspiration.

Cantor Baby (to the tune of “Santa Baby)

Buh-bum.. buh-bum…

Cantor baby, slip a table under my knee, for me.

I’ve got an ache in my neck, Cantor baby, so hurry the masseuses tonight.

Cantor baby, a Jaguar convertible too, teal blue.

I’ll wait for you with the bells, and Sven and Nels.

Cantor baby, so hurry the masseuses tonight.

Think of all I’ve sacrificed, think of all the stuff I bought sale-priced. Next year I could be just as thrifty, if you’ll check off my Hanukkah listy,

Cantor baby, I wanna sunny vacation spot, oh yeah.

And really that’s not a lot, been an angel all year.

Cantor baby, so hurry the masseuses tonight.

Cantor honey, there’s one thing that I really do need, a maid, who can cook matzo ball soup, doo doop.

And clean up after my kid, which is a pain in my neck.

Oh heck.

So hurry the masseuses-I’m not talkin’ mezuzahs-hurry the masseuses tonight.

My own family did not inspire this next little ditty, I swear.

Let It Go, Let It Go, Let It Go (to the tune of “Let It Snow”)

Oh the fight we had last month was frightful.

But hashing it over is so delightful.

It’s finally time to end the row.

Let It Go! Let It Go! Let It Go!

It doesn’t show signs of stopping.

And I’ve bought some corn for popping.

So much for family drama.

Can you just let it go, mama.

My last nerve is about to blow.

Let It Go! Let It Go! Let It Go!

When we finally kiss goodnight.

How I’ll hate going home if you’re mad.

But what’s a holiday if there’s not a fight.

It’s what we call communication.

And venting our seasonal frustration.

But as long as you love me so.

Let It Go! Let It Go! Let It Go!

My family didn’t inspire that last one, but this one sure brings back memories. Of course all of the snow at my Grandmother’s house in Beverly Hills was fake and came from Niemans.

Noshing Through the Snow (to the tune of “Jingle Bells”)

Noshing through the snow, in a big safe Grand Marquis.

O’er the roads we go.

Driving so slowly.

Bells on cell phones ring.

Dad thinks of the gelt.

What fun it is to laugh and sing and watch the chocolate coins melt. Oh, Grandma Kvells, Grandma Kvells.

Futzing all the way.

Oh, what fun it is to ride in a family car all day, hey.

Grandma Kvells, Grandma Kvells.

Futzing all the way.

Oh, what fun it is to ride in the family car all day.

And finally, my personal favorite. I’m sure you’ll be hearing this on NPR soon, right after “Oy, Come All Ye Faithful” and “Little Drummer Goy.”

We Wish You a Merry Mazeltov (to the tune of “We Wish You a Merry Christmas”)

We wish you a Merry Mazeltov.

We wish you a Merry Mazeltov.

We wish you a Merry Mazeltov and a Happy New Year.

Good tidings we bring and a hot brisket too.

Good tidings for Hanukkah and some pastrami too.

Oh, bring us some lox and bagels.

Oh, bring us a smidge more kugel.

Oh, bring us some Matzo Ball Soup and a cup of Manischewitz.

We won’t go until we get full.

We won’t go until we get full.

We won’t go until we get full, so bring some more food!

We wish you a Merry Mazeltov.

We wish you a Merry Mazeltov.

We wish you a Merry Mazeltov and a Happy New Year.

==

Merry Mazeltov to all of you. Send your Hanukkah hymn suggestions to Leslie@LeslieDinaberg.com .

Originally appeared in the Santa Barbara Daily Sound on December 8, 2012.

Jungle Mom

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Photo by Sura Nualpradid freedigitalphotos.net

I pity the first girl who stomps on my son’s heart.

I realized something about myself recently and it’s not very pretty. I may be an anti-violent, NPR-supporting, bleeding heart pacifist in theory, but when it comes right down to it-I would kill to prevent my son from suffering heartache.

I may not be a tiger mother, but I’m a jungle mom nonetheless. It stuns me how quickly I turn into Mama Bear when something threatens my cub.

When he was younger, I was mostly fixated on doing everything in my power to help my son avoid physical pain. Implanting a GPS tracking device and a boundary collar always sounded perfectly reasonable to me. It was only my husband’s mockery that prevented me from sending Koss out to play in full body armor. I would have wrapped him in Charmin from head to toe, like that kid in the old commercial who goes out to play football and practically tips over from all that cushiony padding.

I was always jealous of the mom in that commercial.

My imagination splinters into a million fearful little pieces whenever I think about anything bad happening to my son.

But now that Koss has successfully survived enough banged up knees and bruised elbows to keep the Band-Aid and Bactine business booming for years to come, it’s his emotional pain that keeps me up at night.

The fact is we’re still warming up to puberty, so at this point his hurt feelings dig much deeper into my overactive imagination than they do into his psyche. I will often still be reeling over some playground slight or hurt from weeks back when Koss wants to invite that very same kid I’ve been mentally murdering over to play.

Pesky old reality is no match for the mind of a mother.

Just thinking about the prospect of his many broken hearts to come is enough to make me growl.

I can’t help myself. Just thinking about that future girl who will someday make him cry drives me nuts. I want to kill her. I want to rip her to shreds. The mere thought of that girl transforms me into every single awful parent-of-an-only-child stereotype, though some might call me a murderous lunatic.

Gee, I hope his future girlfriends never read this column. That would be awful. Just awful.

Karma’s a bitch, and I certainly had my moments. As a former teenage girl, I know just how mean they can be.

Plus the fact that my genetic eggs are in this one and only one precious basket makes me guard it all the more zealously.

But here’s the rub. As a parent I’ve found that it’s almost impossible to try to comfort someone and develop their character at the time. With girlfriends and husbands, your job is just to listen and be supportive and hate whomever they hate at that moment. In those cases it’s easy to blame it on the other guy.

But when you’re comforting a child you sometimes have to fess up to the fact that it’s not always the other guy’s fault. Human relationships are complicated and they’re only just beginning.

Kind of makes me wish for the good old days when I would dream up tactical scenarios of how I would jump into the lion’s cage at the zoo to rescue my son.

When Leslie’s not busy cocooning her son in bubble wrap she can be reached at Leslie@LeslieDinaberg.com. For more columns visit www.LeslieDinaberg.com.  Originally published in the Santa Barbara Daily Sound on July 20, 2012.

Crazy Busy or Just Plain Crazy

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As I write this first sentence, I’m on hold with my insurance company-again. I’m also listening to phone messages, soaking my whites in bleach, taping an episode of “Next Food Network Star,” stretching my quads, doing a few Kegel exercises and sipping my coffee, which I know is bad for me again this month, because I read it in “Prevention” while I was standing in line at Vons this morning.

It’s taken years of practice, but I’ve finally ratcheted my level of multitasking to “Rock Star,” and now I find out that there’s some new research that says multitasking actually slows you down. I had to push my 1:15 ’til 2:30 and ignore my email, but I managed to get myself to the library to get a peek at psychiatrist Edward Hallowell’s book, “Crazy Busy: Overstretched, Overbooked, and About to Snap! Strategies for Coping in a World Gone ADD.”

You don’t think I have time to actually buy and read a book about busyness, do you? But I skimmed it, for free, and I really tried to focus on the book, and only the book, during the 13 minutes I calculated it would take the meter maid to get to my illegally parked car.

The good doctor, who specializes in Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), says that it is literally impossible to pay conscious attention to doing more than one thing at once. Instead, you end up paying conscious attention to several tasks in succession, and not doing any of them very well. When you switch your brain between tasks you end up wasting, rather than saving, precious time because your brain continually has to restart and refocus.

Are you kidding me? And here I was thinking it might be time to have another baby now that there’s a breast pump with a car adaptor (the Pump in Style) on the market. Just don’t drive over any bumps while you pump.

My husband-who would never dare to sully the experience of watching ESPN by matching a pair of socks, even when they accidentally whack him on the side of the head-has sworn by the do-one-thing-at-a-time-theory for years. Has hell finally frozen over? If not, he can’t possibly be right.

And yet, other experts also support the movement towards uni- tasking. A study at the University of Michigan found that multitasking leads to expensive “time costs.” Team leader Dr. David Meyer says that the additional time required to switch between one task and another tends to increase with the complexity of the chores involved. And that over the long run, the time required to make these switches may lead to a 20 to 40 percent decrease in actual productivity.

A 40 percent decrease? I can’t afford that. As much yammering as I do about how busy I am-and I am actually pretty busy-the reason that I need to multitask is to make sure that I also have time to read novels, catch a movie once in a while and take a long lunch with a friend.

Sometimes I’m almost embarrassed to admit that it’s more important to me have a social life than it is to have a clean house or actually bake the cookies myself. Sometimes there’s this undertone of bragging or one-upmanship when people, especially moms, talk about how busy they are. And I’m always a little self-conscious that I, as the mother of one, will never be as busy as my nut job friends who have four or more children. But I work! C’mon, give a girl a few points.

Of course the trouble with writing about busyness is that it makes you even more hyper-aware of how you spend each moment. It’s exhausting. If I didn’t have to change the laundry loads, write a speech, pick up the trash, and take out the kid, I might take a nap.

Why not find out if you can walk, chew gum, and send an email to Leslie@LeslieDinaberg.com at the same time? For more of Leslie’s columns visit www.lesliedinaberg.com.  Originally published in the Santa Barbara Daily Sound on June 22, 2012.

Eat, Drink and Be Married

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Photo by Vichaya Kiatying-Angsulee, freedigitalphotos.net

Chatting with Author Rebecca Bloom

“What is it about wedding preparations that makes the ordinary tasks usually taking a woman from bed to bath, to bra, to base, to bagel, to bag, to butt-on-the-seat-of- the-car in 28 minutes flat, suddenly expand, exhale and evolve into hours upon hours of careful mirror observations and highly scrutinized tinkering?” writes Rebecca Bloom in her new novel, “Eat, Drink, and Be Married.”

I’m giggling as I read these words (So very true!) and laughing even more as I speak to their author, who is sneaking in our phone call during the precious naptime of her two-year-old son. Along with some of the laugh-out-loud-in-recognition scenes in her book, this is yet another thing about Rebecca Bloom that I can relate to.

Expecting her second child in the fall, Rebecca chats easily about writing, kids, tequila and the birth of “Eat, Drink, and Be Married,” her third novel. Here are some highlights:

Leslie Dinaberg: I really enjoyed the book. What was your inspiration?

Rebecca Bloom: I had been going to a lot of weddings and I was noticing that there is so much else that goes on around the wedding. There’s such a heightened sense of emotions for everybody. I wanted to write something that explored not just what the bride and groom were going through but what the guests themselves were going through. Weddings bring out a lot of different kinds of things for people and I wanted to explore those things.

LD: I was really struck by the coming together of the college friends who got back into their old dynamic so quickly and reverted to their old selves. Was that your experience?

RB: With my girlfriends from college, we have this shorthand that it doesn’t matter how long it has been since we’ve talked or how much has happened, the minute we’re together there’s not a lag, we don’t really have to catch up. There’s an instant repartee and there’s an instant sort of comfort and camaraderie. I wanted to put that in the book because I do think that in college you form such intense bonds because you’re with people 24/7 and you don’t really have time past college to ever really do that. … I wanted to capture that because I think it’s the case for a lot of people that the old friends sometimes are the ones that know you the best.

LD: A while back my husband and I were in that wedding a weekend phase and we sort of became the wedding critics. What do you think makes a really good wedding or a really not so good wedding?

RB: It is funny, when you write a wedding book everyone thinks you’re an expert on weddings but it’s sort of just your own opinion.

I think the best weddings are the weddings that really represent the bride and groom and you can tell that they really planned it for themselves and not for their moms and their friends. It’s really all about them. And those are often the most fun.

Our wedding had a lot of tequila and that really made it fun (Laughs). … I think the ones that are the best are the most relaxed and represent the couple-not just the bride.

LD: Were you married when you wrote this book?

RB: Actually I wrote this book, the first draft of it, when I was single. I wrote this wedding book and then I met my husband. So we’re sort of like that movie “Field of Dreams,” where the whole thing is like if you build it he will come. (Laughs)

LD: And now you have a husband, a young son and another on the way. How do you write and juggle all of that?

RB: Not as well as I would like. I am trying to start writing something new and it’s just hard. It’s hard to find the balance. … You just do the best you can. I can’t do everything all the time. And I can’t do it very well. My kids right now are the most important and that’s okay for me for right now.

LD: Not only are weddings fraught with drama, they’re also a huge business. Was that sort of marketing angle in your mind when you developed the story?

RB: I definitely knew … that there might be more avenues open maybe for publicity or marketing but I didn’t really think about that when I was writing it.

As I’ve gotten older though and as I end up starting my next book I’m thinking about that more because I want to make a living and I want it to sell and so I’m letting that come in a little bit. I have a bunch of ideas, so I am thinking which one is the most marketable and I’ll go with that.

But I’m not writing about zombies or anything (Laughs).

LD: I don’t know, a vampire, shades of grey, zombie wedding book with a historical twist could be huge.

For more information about Rebecca Bloom, visit www.rebeccabloom.com. For more columns visit www.LeslieDinaberg.com.  Originally published in the Santa Barbara Daily Sound on June 8, 2012.

The Neurotic Parent Comes to Santa Barbara

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The Neurotic Parent's Guide to College AdmissionsSome people say that getting your kid through the college application process is a lot like childbirth-you have to experience it yourself to really understand it. Unlike with childbirth, where the endorphins kick in and make you forget most of the pain once you hold that precious baby in your arms, the only chemicals associated with getting your child into college are stiff drinks (for the parents) and plenty of aspirin. Luckily, we can now add a healthy dose of laughter to the college admission cocktail, thanks to J.D. Rothman’s new book, The Neurotic Parent’s Guide to College Admissions. With a sassy, sarcastic style that reminded me of The Official Preppy Handbook, Rothman does a spectacular job of skewering the collective craziness that overtakes otherwise rational people during this phase of their lives. At the same time, it’s not just funny but also provides valuable insights and incisive anthropological observations into the process. “There’s a collective neurosis kind of thing that takes place for parents during this time of their lives,” explains Rothman, who is an Emmy-winning television writer and lyricist in her other work life. After an eye-opening college tour with her older son (now a junior at Duke), she started the anonymous Neurotic Parent Blog as a way to reflect on the nutty parents who had “started their kids in college preparatory programs in the fifth grade,” as well as the “thousands of shockingly bright, polite, alert students, all of whom were vying for her son’s (or your daughter’s) spot.” Up until that trip, she had “no idea there was this level of insanity about the college admission process.” The blog quickly caught on and went viral after a post about Cornell’s hotel’s ugly bedspreads. Rothman admits that she too got caught up in the craziness. Some of the other students had out of this world accomplishments, like “discovering galaxies,” so she wondered how her son would ever compete. Like many parent trips, the first one you feel during the college application process is guilt. Rothman writes, “Clearly it is all your fault. While you were letting your child engage in normal activities like summer camp, babysitting and bowling, other kids were interning for their senators, training seeing eye-dogs and starting hedge funds in Sri Lanka. As a result, for every impressive kid, there are 50 even more outstanding ones.” She observes that even parents who were “not neurotic about other things like eating and sleeping still became neurotic about the college admission process. … Thankfully it is usually not both members of a couple,” she laughs. “Thankfully” is right. Though I often want to give therapy bonds as baby shower gifts, this book will make a pretty good substitute. Laughter is clearly the best therapy for Rothman, who offers up an amusing “prayer for the SAT” (please protect me from mis-bubbling and using passive voice, bless my number two pencils and protect their points), two pages of “haikus for the neurotic parent” and an entire chapter about “barista readiness” (a college degree is fine, but at the end of the day, they’d better know how to prepare a venti, sugar-free, nonfat, vanilla soy, double-shot, decaf, no foam, extra hot, peppermint white chocolate mocha). Asked if her current book tour has made her more or less neurotic, Rothman, who will appear at Chaucer’s on Sunday at 2 p.m., says, “definitely more, but now I’m neurotic about selling books.” Of course it doesn’t hurt that her younger son was recently accepted into his “dream school.” Unlike the rest of us there will be no more college applications for her to deal with in the future-unless the kids don’t like being baristas and want to go to graduate school. The upside? That might mean there’s another book in her future, and ours. Since my son’s only in seventh grade-and hasn’t, to my knowledge, written any symphonies or cured any diseases-this is definitely one book I plan to keep on my shelf for future reading. As Rothman says in her “orientation to college angst,” “whether you have a kindergartener or a 12th grader, may your child’s search be full of multiple acceptances, generous merit scholarships and chill roommates.” If they’re not, may you at least retain the ability to laugh at it all! = Spend your tax day in a lively reading and conversation about the insanity of modern college admissions at Chaucer’s Books, 3321 State St. Sunday, April 15 at 2 p.m.

When Leslie’s not stressing about her son’s lack of Olympic curling credentials, Mandarin language and Ethiopian cooking skills, she can be reached at Leslie@LeslieDinaberg.com. For more columns visitwww.LeslieDinaberg.com.  Originally published in the Santa Barbara Daily Sound on April 13, 2012.