Tag Archives: South Coasting

Little red wagon takes the cake

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Cake by Sarah Farmer of Sugar

Cake by Sarah Farmer of Sugar

Sarah Farmer delivers the baked goods in Big Apple exhibit

Launching imaginative voyages for boys and girls since 1917, and glorified in a 1992 movie, the ubiquitous little red Radio Flyer wagon chalked up another adventure recently. Local cake artist Sarah Farmer, of Sugar, relied on one in her journey to New York City’s Grand Central Station, where she was among the 50 leading sugar artists showing off their creations at the largest wedding cake event ever held.

Farmer said she was thrilled to be invited to the event, called Cakewalk at Grand Central, and hosted by Brides Magazine and Martini & Rossi, but getting her three-foot tall confection to New York was a challenge, to say the least. The stunning, complicated, Moroccan-themed wedding cake, inspired in part by Chef Karim’s Restaurant in Victoria Court, had its own airplane seat, but still had to be completely deconstructed for the trip.

Plus, the original vision of the two boxes in which the cake would travel had to be modified into three boxes at the eleventh hour.

“Then I had to figure out how to get these three boxes through the airport,” said Farmer, who credits local United Airlines staff members Tim Crews, Aaron Muller and Sean Russer with helping her — and her cake — make it safely to Grand Central Station.

And then there’s the little red wagon belonging to her daughter, Lily.

“It was a Radio Flyer that my sister had found on the side of the road … this beat-up thing covered with leaves and rust and sticks hanging off it, and I thought, that will work,” she said. “By the end of the trip I had named her Lucy, because I thought this is more than just a wagon, this is my personal assistant.”

Stretching the limits of her creativity is nothing new for Farmer. Along with partner Kirsten Soria, who is the baker half of the duo, they’ve created completely edible cakes that look like a Monopoly Game, Manolo Blahnik shoes, Academy Award statues, Santa Barbara’s downtown district, Michael Jackson and an exact replica of the Four Seasons Biltmore Resort.

“Every artist’s dream is to make a living doing what they love,” said Farmer, who studied illustration and design at the Fashion Institute before fate intervened and she began working with baked goods at Debbie’s Delights.

“For me, cakes are clay. Cakes are a canvas. Each one is a personal challenge to me to create something new and fantastic,” Farmer said. “Everything I have ever studied, painting, sculpture, graphic design, illustration, jewelry design, all comes into play when creating our cakes.”

In addition to the dozens of weddings, birthdays and events on the docket for Sugar, coming up soon is a Halloween photo shoot commissioned by Child Magazine. It’s a safe bet that whatever witchy creation Sugar comes up with will not only be incredibly clever, but extremely delicious as well.

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For more information visit, www.sugarcakes.com. Sugar is open by appointment only Thursday-Saturday. Call 683.5600 or 452.4659 to schedule a complimentary tasting.

Originally published in South Coast Beacon. Click here to read the story on that site.

Generation BMX

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Young racers test their mettle with their pedals

Faster, higher and often younger than you might imagine, BMX racers are tearing up the dirt at Elings Park every Friday night.

Elings Park BMX (courtesy photo)

Elings Park BMX (courtesy photo)

The sport, which first became popular in the 1970s, is one of the fastest-growing competitions in the country, partially due to the popularity of the X Games and BMX-inspired DVDs, video and computer games. BMX (bicycle motocross) is scheduled to become an Olympic sport in 2008 and, according to Dale Bowers, track director of Santa Barbara BMX, there are three or four local bikers who “could be peaking” at that time.

Several local BMX racers will be competing in the National Bicycle League NBL Grands in Louisville, Ky., this weekend, including Logan Beebe, Chris Burke, Austin Davis, Michael Davis, Austin Hamilton, Jarrett Kolich Kolich, Amber Melgoza, Brianna Wiley and Jason Wiley.

While the level of expertise in Santa Barbara is high, Bowers emphasized that there’s a BMX skill level race for everyone, including beginners — and grownups. If you can ride a bike, you can BMX, which means there are some pretty impressive 5- and 6-year-olds out there.

Racers work their way up, depending on their age and how good they are, said Scott Berry, a 13-year-old La Colina Junior High student.

“I saw commercials on TV and really wanted to try it … we came up on a Friday night and just watched,” he said. “I just liked what I saw and wanted to try it.”

Bowers recommended that interested families follow Scott’s lead: just come to the track and check it out. “It doesn’t cost anything to come in and watch. Not much you can do for free on a Friday night, and its exciting entertainment.”

For participants, too, BMX is very affordable, said Scott’s mother, Debbie Carder.

It costs $45 per year to join the NBL, with a 30-day trial membership available for $30 (which is credited toward the full membership). Races, which take place most Fridays beginning at 6 p.m., are $8, and practices, at 6 p.m. Wednesdays, are $5.

“They’re so helpful, too,” emphasized Carder. “Even the older kids … they take the time to help the little ones. They go out of their way. They’re not snotty. They just take them under their wing … without being asked. It’s kind of like a family in a way.”

Originally published in South Coast Beacon

First Time Home Buyers: Adventures in Home Buying

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Image by phanlop88 freedigitalimages.net

Image by phanlop88 freedigitalimages.net

Sometimes the first house you have your heart set on isn’t the one that you’re meant to have. That was the lesson Gloria Herrera and Martin Ibarra learned during their recent home-buying adventure.

After losing bids on several homes, the couple, who share a home with their daughter and Ibarra’s mother, was ready to compromise on their dream house. While they really wanted to stay in Santa Barbara, they also looked at properties in San Ynez and Buellton. Plus, they needed at least three bedrooms and they didn’t want a condominium.

This market is very competitive and difficult, said their Realtor Nicole Dinkelacker, who’s with Remax in Goleta. “It’s a lot more complicated than just finding a property.”

In the case of Herrera and Ibarra, Dinkelacker was ready with the check for a “compromise house,” when she found out that another property they had bid on earlier was available for an additional $5,000.

“Usually $5,000 you’re like oh my God, $5,000,” said Herrera. “At this point, $5,000 was like $5 to me … for a bigger property and an extra room.” Herrera said she thought the fact that she and Ibarra are both native Santa Barbarans (who met at Santa Barbara High School) was what sealed the deal for the home they eventually purchased for $700,000.

The four-bedroom, two-bathroom home on a 900 square foot lot on Noma Street in Carpinteria was a good buy, compared to what was available in Santa Barbara. “We lucked out,” said Herrera, noting that in addition to more square footage, most of the house had new carpet and had been newly painted.

Regarding making home improvements, “It’s not like you have much money left after buying the house. You pay your bills and you pay your mortgage and then … Home Depot,” said Herrera.

“Yeah, we tend to be at Home Depot a lot more, that’s for sure,” laughed Ibarra.

“When we first got the house, it wasn’t as pretty. I put in palm trees and flowers. … I think a year from now it will definitely be a lot more how we envisioned it. …You only have the weekend to really do much.”

Although fixing up the house is an ongoing project, Herrera said she’s ready to relax and enjoy the house for a while. “Even though it’s a very tight budget, … you kind of spend your weekends here at home. Sometimes it’s by choice and other times because you really have no other form of entertainment you can afford. But at least it’s yours and you know that little by little, it will get easier. … We have something that a lot of people have a hard time trying to obtain.”

“I know she had her heart set on the first house … and I know when that didn’t come through she got down. But like I told her, it’s either meant to be or not,” said Ibarra. “(I told her) we’re going to find something down the road that’s going to be much better. And soon we were able to find this.”

Originally published in South Coast Beacon

Enterprising Women Make Connection

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Stockimages (freedigitalphotos.net)

Stockimages (freedigitalphotos.net)

N.E.W. helps budding business owners balance networking and families

By LESLIE DINABERG

SOUTH COAST BEACON

Hanging out with the women of N.E.W. you get a great sense of energy, optimism and, dare I say it, sisterhood. This is indeed a network of enterprising women.

The 13 members — all of whom market their services to families on the South Coast and beyond — have met informally for the past year and a half to network and share information, and now they have a new enterprise, a quarterly newsletter called the Parent Connection.

The second issue of the Parent Connection comes out this week. Filled with useful information for parents — such as etiquette tips from Tara Stockton of Mind Your Manners, as well as discount coupons from member businesses — the newsletter is free and can be found at local libraries, doctors’ offices and family-oriented businesses.

Rachael Steidl, who owns sbparent.com, an Internet portal that caters to local families, said she started N.E.W. because she had met so many women who, like her, were balancing families and business ownership, and thought it would be a neat opportunity to connect people with similar goals.

Surprisingly, at that first meeting, almost none of the women knew each other even though they were targeting the same demographic, Steidl said.

“Being part of N.E.W is so valuable to me because we are all women with businesses that may be different but the joys and stresses of owning a business are the same,” said Jennifer Caesar, who owns My Gym Children’s Fitness Center. “The understanding, support and advice of other women who are going through the same ups and downs is so helpful.”

“It’s great to discuss ideas on topics such as networking, marketing and advertising with other business owners, and with this group of creative women we come up with some great ideas for each other’s businesses,” said Dr. Trevor Holly Cates of the Santa Barbara Center for Natural Medicine.

Another important element of the group is fostering good corporate citizenship.

“We strategize on how to make our community better through fund raising, awareness and donating to great causes,” said Michelle Bexelius, who owns Homegrown Photos.

“I wish more businesses were not just networking but supporting things,” said Steidl, who is teaming up with Moms In Motion founder — and fellow N.E.W. member — Jamie Allison to present the second annual Mother Day 5K & Family Festival on May 7, as a benefit for Village Properties Realtors’ Teacher’s Fund and Postpartum Education for Parents (PEP).

In addition to the philanthropic aspect, N.E.W. members’ supportiveness of each other distinguishes the group from other business organizations.

“Bryn Evans (co-owner of Hopscotch and the lone man in the group) made a comment — if this had been men it would have been so different, you’re so supportive, so enthusiastic,” Steidl recalled.

Some of the adjectives members used to describe their colleagues included generous, intelligent, committed, humorous, inspirational, creative and innovative.

“It takes a lot of creativity and guts to start your own business and manage it well. These women inspire me to continue working hard to grow my business,” Cates said.

In addition to sbparent.com, Mind Your Manners, My Gym, Santa Barbara Center for Natural Medicine, Homegrown Photos, Moms In Motion and Hopscotch, group members include Kim Clark of Baby Boot Camp, Sonia Diaz-Ebadi of Pizza Mizza, Marietta Jablonka of A Stork Was Here, Danielle Kling of The Dining Car, Suzanne Shea of Envirobaby and Carol Tricase of PEP.

For more information on N.E.W., visit www.sbparent.com.

Originally published in South Coast Beacon on May 5, 2005.

It’s all about hue!

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Image by gubgib freedigitalphotos.net

Image by gubgib freedigitalphotos.net

Gone are the days of a one-color-fits-all approach to decorating. Now homeowners are choosing colors to illicit a mood and perk up a room’s decor.

Wall color is one of the easiest and least expensive ways to add some color to your home, said Pat Musarra, owner of Affordable One-Day Design.

Ralph Lauren even offers Color Testers, a new product line that allows you to sample the complete palette. Each Color Tester packet provides paint coverage in a satin finish for 2-foot by 2-foot sections of wall, retails for $3.99, and may be purchased online at www.rlhome.polo.com.

Even if you’re leery of paint, with so many varieties of home accessories available, it’s easy to start small and experiment boldly with color on items like throw pillows, vases, candles, slipcovers, candy dishes, sheets and towels and table linens.

“New lighting is very important. Just changing lampshades can have an enormous impact,” said Musarra, who also recommended taking a look down at your floors. “Area rugs or maybe pulling up wall-to-wall carpeting and laying down a hardwood floor or some kind of new laminate floor … Especially if the wall-to-wall carpeting is old or the color’s outdated.”

In addition to freshening your home’s look, colors can be used to create a mood.

“Red will wake up a room,” said interior designer Rosemary Sadez Friedmann. “It should be used as an accent in accessories, part of a pattern in upholstery or one impressive chair or bench. Red is a good color to have in a nursery because it stimulates and aids the development of neural connections in an infant’s brain.”

Musarra said she’s seen red — and other bright colors — used a lot as a kitchen accent color, with coffee makers, mixers and other small appliances now available in a wide variety of colors.

Orange is another color that is “uplifting, stimulating and enlivening,” according to Barbara Richardson, director of color marketing for ICI Paints. “It has the ability to raise our spirits and to make us feel optimistic — a quality that is in high demand right now.”

“Yellow would be a good color for a workout room, particularly if aerobics were involved. It’s also a good color for a game room, study or office because it helps to keep you attentive. A yellow bathroom will take the chill out of the air,” said Friedmann.

Whatever color you choose to update your home’s look, experts advise you start small, with maybe a few throw pillows or some new kitchen linens.

“It’s amazing how many inexpensive ways there are to update your home,” said Musarra, who specializes in quick and cost effective design strategies.

Musarra charges a flat fee of $200 for her services, which include a two-hour home consultation, followed up with a written design plan.

“I also restyle the room for you while I’m there,” she said. “Move furniture in, move some out, re-hang artwork, re-group accessories, and give a room a whole new makeover, using basically what the client has and at the same time, offering suggestions as to what she or he should buy to complete the look they’re trying to achieve.”

What colors are hot

“It” is either Violet Tulip, Coraly Orange, Full Bloom (a Salmony Pink) or Turquoise Blue, depending on which expert you ask about the “it color” in home decorating this year.

“I’m seeing a lot of pinks and salmon and turquoise and brown, not my favorites, but I am seeing a lot of those colors,” said Pat Musarra, owner of Affordable One-Day Design.

Pantone – the company that crowned violet tulip as this year’s queen – has even created a new color system called Colorstrology, which “infuses elements of astrology and numerology with the spirituality of color.”

According to Michele Bernhardt, creator of Colorstrology, 2005 will resonate with spirituality and healing.

“The year will begin with a heavy influence in regard to foreign affairs, education, religion and sports. Peace, balance and cooperation in all types of relationships will be a major theme and can also be a major challenge. Violet tulip can help us see past our differences while dissolving our feelings of separateness,” said Bernhardt.

At www.colorstrology.com, you’ll find your personal birth color, along with a personality profile and advice on your color vibe. September, for example, is Baja Blue, “a divine and alluring color that resonates with beauty, purity and wisdom.” This color “can help ease tension and promote tranquility,” making it an ideal choice for a bedroom or a yoga studio.

Taking the color horoscope a step further, a Virgo born on Sept. 8 would have Etruscan Red as their personal color for the year, a color that “corresponds with depth, vitality and passion.”

According to the site, “wearing, meditating or surrounding yourself with Etruscan Red inspires you to move through life with energy and wisdom.”

Sounds like a good color to decorate the office.

What color is your mood?

Here are some color guidelines based on the type of mood you want to create.

RED__Use red for excitement. It is associated with power, passion, dominance, activity and heat. It represents youthfulness, impulse and intensity. Red is also a grounding color and can make you feel secure.

ORANGE__Orange represents excitement and can be stimulating. It can make you feel like hurrying and that is why it’s usually a color used in fast-food places and quick mart-type stores. They want you in and out quickly. Happiness, liveliness, exuberance and boldness are also associated with orange.

BLACK__Use black to evoke drama, elegance, power, sophistication and mystery. Black is also associated with death, fright, aloofness, fatigue, cold, darkness and bereavement.

YELLOW __Yellow is eye-catching, inspirational and raises ones spirits. It is also said to aid digestion, communication and sharpen memory. Design experts advise you treat yellow like sunlight. You want it around for the happiness it produces but you don’t want it to be overpowering.

GRAY__Gray is said to be steady, resigned, stable, deliberate, guarded, dignified, indecisive, disciplined, protected, cool and neutral.

PURPLE__Purple can be used to increase spirituality and enlightenment. It evokes feelings of elegance, restfulness, supremacy, creativity, royalty and reverence. Purple is also said to promote peace, quiet overactive glands and lower blood pressure.

BLUE__Blue is a breath of fresh air, evoking feelings of openness, tranquility, serenity, restoration and well being. It is also said to lower respiratory rates, promote relaxation and increase healing.

BROWN__Brown reminds us of nature and the earth. It is also said to be restful, rich, casual, tranquil, safe, homespun, reliable, stable, sturdy and simultaneously cool and warm.

GREEN__Green reminds us of harmony, balance, compassion, wealth, security and growth. It is said to promote relaxation and refresh the spirit. Green is also a good color to promote health, although it may not reflect well on all skin tones.

WHITE__White evokes feelings of cleanliness, simplicity, safety, purity, enlightenment, individualism, idealism, optimism, joy, innocence, hope and reflection.

Want to find the real hue?

Take this completely unscientific quiz to find out which color (or colors) suit your inner self.

Check off all of the descriptions that apply to you, then count how many A, B, C, D, E and F personality traits you had. That’s your true hue.

B. I frequently rearrange my furniture and repaint my walls.

B. I love jury duty.

E. I always tell the truth, even if it hurts.

D. I often engage complete strangers in conversation.

E. I feel overwhelmingly compelled to pipe up during city council meetings.

B. I burn the midnight oil at work and volunteer for extra tasks.

F. I am a back-seat driver.

D. I would rather shop at a farmers’ market than a mall.

C. The hardest part of throwing a party is deciding the menu.

F. I am the boss, or I should be.

F. I feel good about me, especially when I compare myself with others.

B. I love details.

D. I define myself by my parenting skills.

A. I was never good at sharing.

B. Someday I’m going to chuck it all and go live in the wilderness.

C. Home is the center of my world.

D. When friends call, I can be counted on to help.

E. Winning isn’t everything; it’s the only thing.

A. My friends and family say I’m stubborn. What do they know?

F. Some might find me arrogant.

A. Hallmark commercials make me cry.

A. I’m the first to volunteer for charity functions and luncheons.

C. Pushover doesn’t even begin to describe how easy it is to talk me into things.

Your True Hue

A. Seeing green.

You are confident and caring, and would feel good in a room of sage, basil or celadon. The new greens for 2005 will lean toward the seashore tones. Botanical-inspired greens remain popular.

B. Yellow fellows.

You will feel energized in a room with buttery walls and mahogany furniture. Let in the light with minimal window coverings. The new yellows for 2005 will lean toward ochre and gold.

C. Purple people.

Forget practicality; celebrate your spirit with shades of violet, lavender and silver. Use eggplant or plum as an accent.

D. Orange you glad.

You love food, home and entertaining. Surround yourself with pumpkin, copper or muted auburn. Orange will bring cheerfulness and order to your home.

E. Blue you.

Your dependable, serene nature will feel at ease in rooms washed in shades of gray-blue and soft turquoise — both popular colors for 2005. Definitely use blue in bedrooms for a peaceful night’s sleep.

F. Red hot.

You like to be in charge. Choose red for accents: think floral arrangements rather than carpets. Or start small in the kitchen with a new fire engine red coffee maker.

Originally published in South Coast Beacon (2003)

Cantor Baby

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Image by digitalart, courtesy of freeimages.net

Image by digitalart, courtesy of freeimages.net

December is one of the cruelest months for Jews.

Sure we have Hanukkah to celebrate our urge to shop, and latkes to indulge our genetic urge for carbs, and we can decorate in blue and silver to our hearts’ content, but the one thing we’re lacking in is carols. Let’s face it, other than “Oh Hanukkah,” and Adam Sandler’s “Hanukkah Song,” there aren’t a whole lot of Hanukkah hymns on the airwaves.

Rather than kvetch and whine about the lack of Chanukah chants this holiday season, I decided to do something about it. As with all things Jewish and musical, first I turned to my Cantor for inspiration.

Cantor Baby (to the tune of “Santa Baby)

Buh-bum.. buh-bum…

Cantor baby, slip a table under my knee, for me.

I’ve got an ache in my neck, Cantor baby, so hurry the masseuses tonight.

Cantor baby, a Jaguar convertible too, teal blue.

I’ll wait for you with the bells, and Sven and Nels.

Cantor baby, so hurry the masseuses tonight.

Think of all I’ve sacrificed, think of all the stuff I bought sale-priced. Next year I could be just as thrifty, if you’ll check off my Hanukkah listy,

Cantor baby, I wanna sunny vacation spot, oh yeah.

And really that’s not a lot, been an angel all year.

Cantor baby, so hurry the masseuses tonight.

Cantor honey, there’s one thing that I really do need, a maid, who can cook matzo ball soup, doo doop.

And clean up after my kid, which is a pain in my neck.

Oh heck.

So hurry the masseuses-I’m not talkin’ mezuzahs-hurry the masseuses tonight.

My own family did not inspire this next little ditty, I swear.

Let It Go, Let It Go, Let It Go (to the tune of “Let It Snow”)

Oh the fight we had last month was frightful.

But hashing it over is so delightful.

It’s finally time to end the row.

Let It Go! Let It Go! Let It Go!

It doesn’t show signs of stopping.

And I’ve bought some corn for popping.

So much for family drama.

Can you just let it go, mama.

My last nerve is about to blow.

Let It Go! Let It Go! Let It Go!

When we finally kiss goodnight.

How I’ll hate going home if you’re mad.

But what’s a holiday if there’s not a fight.

It’s what we call communication.

And venting our seasonal frustration.

But as long as you love me so.

Let It Go! Let It Go! Let It Go!

My family didn’t inspire that last one, but this one sure brings back memories. Of course all of the snow at my Grandmother’s house in Beverly Hills was fake and came from Niemans.

Noshing Through the Snow (to the tune of “Jingle Bells”)

Noshing through the snow, in a big safe Grand Marquis.

O’er the roads we go.

Driving so slowly.

Bells on cell phones ring.

Dad thinks of the gelt.

What fun it is to laugh and sing and watch the chocolate coins melt. Oh, Grandma Kvells, Grandma Kvells.

Futzing all the way.

Oh, what fun it is to ride in a family car all day, hey.

Grandma Kvells, Grandma Kvells.

Futzing all the way.

Oh, what fun it is to ride in the family car all day.

And finally, my personal favorite. I’m sure you’ll be hearing this on NPR soon, right after “Oy, Come All Ye Faithful” and “Little Drummer Goy.”

We Wish You a Merry Mazeltov (to the tune of “We Wish You a Merry Christmas”)

We wish you a Merry Mazeltov.

We wish you a Merry Mazeltov.

We wish you a Merry Mazeltov and a Happy New Year.

Good tidings we bring and a hot brisket too.

Good tidings for Hanukkah and some pastrami too.

Oh, bring us some lox and bagels.

Oh, bring us a smidge more kugel.

Oh, bring us some Matzo Ball Soup and a cup of Manischewitz.

We won’t go until we get full.

We won’t go until we get full.

We won’t go until we get full, so bring some more food!

We wish you a Merry Mazeltov.

We wish you a Merry Mazeltov.

We wish you a Merry Mazeltov and a Happy New Year.

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Merry Mazeltov to all of you. Send your Hanukkah hymn suggestions to Leslie@LeslieDinaberg.com .

Originally appeared in the Santa Barbara Daily Sound on December 8, 2012.

Jungle Mom

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Photo by Sura Nualpradid freedigitalphotos.net

Photo by Sura Nualpradid freedigitalphotos.net

I pity the first girl who stomps on my son’s heart.

I realized something about myself recently and it’s not very pretty. I may be an anti-violent, NPR-supporting, bleeding heart pacifist in theory, but when it comes right down to it-I would kill to prevent my son from suffering heartache.

I may not be a tiger mother, but I’m a jungle mom nonetheless. It stuns me how quickly I turn into Mama Bear when something threatens my cub.

When he was younger, I was mostly fixated on doing everything in my power to help my son avoid physical pain. Implanting a GPS tracking device and a boundary collar always sounded perfectly reasonable to me. It was only my husband’s mockery that prevented me from sending Koss out to play in full body armor. I would have wrapped him in Charmin from head to toe, like that kid in the old commercial who goes out to play football and practically tips over from all that cushiony padding.

I was always jealous of the mom in that commercial.

My imagination splinters into a million fearful little pieces whenever I think about anything bad happening to my son.

But now that Koss has successfully survived enough banged up knees and bruised elbows to keep the Band-Aid and Bactine business booming for years to come, it’s his emotional pain that keeps me up at night.

The fact is we’re still warming up to puberty, so at this point his hurt feelings dig much deeper into my overactive imagination than they do into his psyche. I will often still be reeling over some playground slight or hurt from weeks back when Koss wants to invite that very same kid I’ve been mentally murdering over to play.

Pesky old reality is no match for the mind of a mother.

Just thinking about the prospect of his many broken hearts to come is enough to make me growl.

I can’t help myself. Just thinking about that future girl who will someday make him cry drives me nuts. I want to kill her. I want to rip her to shreds. The mere thought of that girl transforms me into every single awful parent-of-an-only-child stereotype, though some might call me a murderous lunatic.

Gee, I hope his future girlfriends never read this column. That would be awful. Just awful.

Karma’s a bitch, and I certainly had my moments. As a former teenage girl, I know just how mean they can be.

Plus the fact that my genetic eggs are in this one and only one precious basket makes me guard it all the more zealously.

But here’s the rub. As a parent I’ve found that it’s almost impossible to try to comfort someone and develop their character at the time. With girlfriends and husbands, your job is just to listen and be supportive and hate whomever they hate at that moment. In those cases it’s easy to blame it on the other guy.

But when you’re comforting a child you sometimes have to fess up to the fact that it’s not always the other guy’s fault. Human relationships are complicated and they’re only just beginning.

Kind of makes me wish for the good old days when I would dream up tactical scenarios of how I would jump into the lion’s cage at the zoo to rescue my son.

When Leslie’s not busy cocooning her son in bubble wrap she can be reached at Leslie@LeslieDinaberg.com. For more columns visit www.LeslieDinaberg.com.  Originally published in the Santa Barbara Daily Sound on July 20, 2012.

Crazy Busy or Just Plain Crazy

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jesadaphorn, freedigitalphotos.net

jesadaphorn, freedigitalphotos.net

As I write this first sentence, I’m on hold with my insurance company-again. I’m also listening to phone messages, soaking my whites in bleach, taping an episode of “Next Food Network Star,” stretching my quads, doing a few Kegel exercises and sipping my coffee, which I know is bad for me again this month, because I read it in “Prevention” while I was standing in line at Vons this morning.

It’s taken years of practice, but I’ve finally ratcheted my level of multitasking to “Rock Star,” and now I find out that there’s some new research that says multitasking actually slows you down. I had to push my 1:15 ’til 2:30 and ignore my email, but I managed to get myself to the library to get a peek at psychiatrist Edward Hallowell’s book, “Crazy Busy: Overstretched, Overbooked, and About to Snap! Strategies for Coping in a World Gone ADD.”

You don’t think I have time to actually buy and read a book about busyness, do you? But I skimmed it, for free, and I really tried to focus on the book, and only the book, during the 13 minutes I calculated it would take the meter maid to get to my illegally parked car.

The good doctor, who specializes in Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), says that it is literally impossible to pay conscious attention to doing more than one thing at once. Instead, you end up paying conscious attention to several tasks in succession, and not doing any of them very well. When you switch your brain between tasks you end up wasting, rather than saving, precious time because your brain continually has to restart and refocus.

Are you kidding me? And here I was thinking it might be time to have another baby now that there’s a breast pump with a car adaptor (the Pump in Style) on the market. Just don’t drive over any bumps while you pump.

My husband-who would never dare to sully the experience of watching ESPN by matching a pair of socks, even when they accidentally whack him on the side of the head-has sworn by the do-one-thing-at-a-time-theory for years. Has hell finally frozen over? If not, he can’t possibly be right.

And yet, other experts also support the movement towards uni- tasking. A study at the University of Michigan found that multitasking leads to expensive “time costs.” Team leader Dr. David Meyer says that the additional time required to switch between one task and another tends to increase with the complexity of the chores involved. And that over the long run, the time required to make these switches may lead to a 20 to 40 percent decrease in actual productivity.

A 40 percent decrease? I can’t afford that. As much yammering as I do about how busy I am-and I am actually pretty busy-the reason that I need to multitask is to make sure that I also have time to read novels, catch a movie once in a while and take a long lunch with a friend.

Sometimes I’m almost embarrassed to admit that it’s more important to me have a social life than it is to have a clean house or actually bake the cookies myself. Sometimes there’s this undertone of bragging or one-upmanship when people, especially moms, talk about how busy they are. And I’m always a little self-conscious that I, as the mother of one, will never be as busy as my nut job friends who have four or more children. But I work! C’mon, give a girl a few points.

Of course the trouble with writing about busyness is that it makes you even more hyper-aware of how you spend each moment. It’s exhausting. If I didn’t have to change the laundry loads, write a speech, pick up the trash, and take out the kid, I might take a nap.

Why not find out if you can walk, chew gum, and send an email to Leslie@LeslieDinaberg.com at the same time? For more of Leslie’s columns visit www.lesliedinaberg.com.  Originally published in the Santa Barbara Daily Sound on June 22, 2012.

Eat, Drink and Be Married

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Photo by Vichaya Kiatying-Angsulee, freedigitalphotos.net

Photo by Vichaya Kiatying-Angsulee, freedigitalphotos.net

Chatting with Author Rebecca Bloom

“What is it about wedding preparations that makes the ordinary tasks usually taking a woman from bed to bath, to bra, to base, to bagel, to bag, to butt-on-the-seat-of- the-car in 28 minutes flat, suddenly expand, exhale and evolve into hours upon hours of careful mirror observations and highly scrutinized tinkering?” writes Rebecca Bloom in her new novel, “Eat, Drink, and Be Married.”

I’m giggling as I read these words (So very true!) and laughing even more as I speak to their author, who is sneaking in our phone call during the precious naptime of her two-year-old son. Along with some of the laugh-out-loud-in-recognition scenes in her book, this is yet another thing about Rebecca Bloom that I can relate to.

Expecting her second child in the fall, Rebecca chats easily about writing, kids, tequila and the birth of “Eat, Drink, and Be Married,” her third novel. Here are some highlights:

Leslie Dinaberg: I really enjoyed the book. What was your inspiration?

Rebecca Bloom: I had been going to a lot of weddings and I was noticing that there is so much else that goes on around the wedding. There’s such a heightened sense of emotions for everybody. I wanted to write something that explored not just what the bride and groom were going through but what the guests themselves were going through. Weddings bring out a lot of different kinds of things for people and I wanted to explore those things.

LD: I was really struck by the coming together of the college friends who got back into their old dynamic so quickly and reverted to their old selves. Was that your experience?

RB: With my girlfriends from college, we have this shorthand that it doesn’t matter how long it has been since we’ve talked or how much has happened, the minute we’re together there’s not a lag, we don’t really have to catch up. There’s an instant repartee and there’s an instant sort of comfort and camaraderie. I wanted to put that in the book because I do think that in college you form such intense bonds because you’re with people 24/7 and you don’t really have time past college to ever really do that. … I wanted to capture that because I think it’s the case for a lot of people that the old friends sometimes are the ones that know you the best.

LD: A while back my husband and I were in that wedding a weekend phase and we sort of became the wedding critics. What do you think makes a really good wedding or a really not so good wedding?

RB: It is funny, when you write a wedding book everyone thinks you’re an expert on weddings but it’s sort of just your own opinion.

I think the best weddings are the weddings that really represent the bride and groom and you can tell that they really planned it for themselves and not for their moms and their friends. It’s really all about them. And those are often the most fun.

Our wedding had a lot of tequila and that really made it fun (Laughs). … I think the ones that are the best are the most relaxed and represent the couple-not just the bride.

LD: Were you married when you wrote this book?

RB: Actually I wrote this book, the first draft of it, when I was single. I wrote this wedding book and then I met my husband. So we’re sort of like that movie “Field of Dreams,” where the whole thing is like if you build it he will come. (Laughs)

LD: And now you have a husband, a young son and another on the way. How do you write and juggle all of that?

RB: Not as well as I would like. I am trying to start writing something new and it’s just hard. It’s hard to find the balance. … You just do the best you can. I can’t do everything all the time. And I can’t do it very well. My kids right now are the most important and that’s okay for me for right now.

LD: Not only are weddings fraught with drama, they’re also a huge business. Was that sort of marketing angle in your mind when you developed the story?

RB: I definitely knew … that there might be more avenues open maybe for publicity or marketing but I didn’t really think about that when I was writing it.

As I’ve gotten older though and as I end up starting my next book I’m thinking about that more because I want to make a living and I want it to sell and so I’m letting that come in a little bit. I have a bunch of ideas, so I am thinking which one is the most marketable and I’ll go with that.

But I’m not writing about zombies or anything (Laughs).

LD: I don’t know, a vampire, shades of grey, zombie wedding book with a historical twist could be huge.

For more information about Rebecca Bloom, visit www.rebeccabloom.com. For more columns visit www.LeslieDinaberg.com.  Originally published in the Santa Barbara Daily Sound on June 8, 2012.

The Neurotic Parent Comes to Santa Barbara

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The Neurotic Parent's Guide to College AdmissionsSome people say that getting your kid through the college application process is a lot like childbirth-you have to experience it yourself to really understand it. Unlike with childbirth, where the endorphins kick in and make you forget most of the pain once you hold that precious baby in your arms, the only chemicals associated with getting your child into college are stiff drinks (for the parents) and plenty of aspirin. Luckily, we can now add a healthy dose of laughter to the college admission cocktail, thanks to J.D. Rothman’s new book, The Neurotic Parent’s Guide to College Admissions. With a sassy, sarcastic style that reminded me of The Official Preppy Handbook, Rothman does a spectacular job of skewering the collective craziness that overtakes otherwise rational people during this phase of their lives. At the same time, it’s not just funny but also provides valuable insights and incisive anthropological observations into the process. “There’s a collective neurosis kind of thing that takes place for parents during this time of their lives,” explains Rothman, who is an Emmy-winning television writer and lyricist in her other work life. After an eye-opening college tour with her older son (now a junior at Duke), she started the anonymous Neurotic Parent Blog as a way to reflect on the nutty parents who had “started their kids in college preparatory programs in the fifth grade,” as well as the “thousands of shockingly bright, polite, alert students, all of whom were vying for her son’s (or your daughter’s) spot.” Up until that trip, she had “no idea there was this level of insanity about the college admission process.” The blog quickly caught on and went viral after a post about Cornell’s hotel’s ugly bedspreads. Rothman admits that she too got caught up in the craziness. Some of the other students had out of this world accomplishments, like “discovering galaxies,” so she wondered how her son would ever compete. Like many parent trips, the first one you feel during the college application process is guilt. Rothman writes, “Clearly it is all your fault. While you were letting your child engage in normal activities like summer camp, babysitting and bowling, other kids were interning for their senators, training seeing eye-dogs and starting hedge funds in Sri Lanka. As a result, for every impressive kid, there are 50 even more outstanding ones.” She observes that even parents who were “not neurotic about other things like eating and sleeping still became neurotic about the college admission process. … Thankfully it is usually not both members of a couple,” she laughs. “Thankfully” is right. Though I often want to give therapy bonds as baby shower gifts, this book will make a pretty good substitute. Laughter is clearly the best therapy for Rothman, who offers up an amusing “prayer for the SAT” (please protect me from mis-bubbling and using passive voice, bless my number two pencils and protect their points), two pages of “haikus for the neurotic parent” and an entire chapter about “barista readiness” (a college degree is fine, but at the end of the day, they’d better know how to prepare a venti, sugar-free, nonfat, vanilla soy, double-shot, decaf, no foam, extra hot, peppermint white chocolate mocha). Asked if her current book tour has made her more or less neurotic, Rothman, who will appear at Chaucer’s on Sunday at 2 p.m., says, “definitely more, but now I’m neurotic about selling books.” Of course it doesn’t hurt that her younger son was recently accepted into his “dream school.” Unlike the rest of us there will be no more college applications for her to deal with in the future-unless the kids don’t like being baristas and want to go to graduate school. The upside? That might mean there’s another book in her future, and ours. Since my son’s only in seventh grade-and hasn’t, to my knowledge, written any symphonies or cured any diseases-this is definitely one book I plan to keep on my shelf for future reading. As Rothman says in her “orientation to college angst,” “whether you have a kindergartener or a 12th grader, may your child’s search be full of multiple acceptances, generous merit scholarships and chill roommates.” If they’re not, may you at least retain the ability to laugh at it all! = Spend your tax day in a lively reading and conversation about the insanity of modern college admissions at Chaucer’s Books, 3321 State St. Sunday, April 15 at 2 p.m.

When Leslie’s not stressing about her son’s lack of Olympic curling credentials, Mandarin language and Ethiopian cooking skills, she can be reached at Leslie@LeslieDinaberg.com. For more columns visitwww.LeslieDinaberg.com.  Originally published in the Santa Barbara Daily Sound on April 13, 2012.