Tag Archives: South Coasting

Engineered for Success

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“What do you want to be when you grow up?” is one of the first questions Ed Ware asks his computer engineering students at Dos Pueblos High.

A software engineering department manager at Raytheon for 23 years, Ware offers students a view of engineering from the workplace, rather than the classroom. With the support of his employer, Ware spends three mornings a week allowing students to “try on engineering and see if it’s something they really like.”

Clearly engineering is something Ware really likes.

“A rewarding part is being able to take a subject matter that I love and convey it to somebody else through teaching,” said Ware, who is beginning his second year with DPHS’ Engineering Academy.

“Ed is an unbelievably fantastic teacher,” said Dos Pueblos principal David Cash. “He knows students well and relates well to them.”

It’s selfish really, said Ware, the father of two daughters (one at DPHS and the other at Goleta Valley Junior High).

“I enjoy being on campus, especially when I have a daughter … I think we’re a lot closer. I understand what her life is like … and she’s not ashamed of me,” he laughed.

“It’s just been a great partnership all around,” said Cash.

The idea for the engineering academy started about four years ago. An essential part of getting funding for the program was being able to demonstrate active partners in the business community. Raytheon — which had already adopted DPHS through the county Partners In Education Program — was the first business the school went to talk to, said Cash.

Raytheon responded by getting involved in the engineering academy in a big way.

“It’s just a perfect avenue for us,” said spokesman Ron Colman. “Our big community involvement push is math and science education. This is a great way for us to impact the community via the schools, also a great way for us to, in effect, recruit future employees.”

Ware described his teaching experience as being very rewarding.

“I love the old Wide World of Sports ‘the thrill of victory, the agony of defeat’ slogan (as an analogy for) watching the students with their first project,” he said.

When students start his class, “they’re great end users,” said Ware. “But they don’t know what’s inside the box, how it works, or what’s behind the screen.”

In his last class Ware had the students tear apart a computer to really understand what the CPU is.

“We learned how to program, we learned the language of computers,” said senior Karla Ortiz, who is participating in the engineering academy for her second year.

Raytheon views the program as a good way to light the imaginations of students, such as women and minorities, who wouldn’t always be exposed to engineering opportunities.

“I think it’s an awesome program because I think a lot of girls didn’t know that much about computer networking,” said Ortiz, whose father is an engineer.

Ortiz particularly enjoyed a field trip to Ware’s office. “It was a really great experience to see how the environment works at Raytheon,” she said.

Ortiz was also a fan of the guest speakers.

“He brought this girl engineer named Candy (software engineer Candy Lou) into class. It’s a really great program because it’s advocating for girls that ‘hey, it’s not just a guy thing,'” said Ortiz.

“I give them a thumbs up for Raytheon to actually put that program out there,” said Ortiz, who is considering a career in engineering or medicine.

And when Ware grows up?

“I think I want to be a software engineer,” he said.

Originally published in South Coast Beacon (2003)

Life lessons

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Courtesy Photo

Courtesy Photo

For some it’s all about the sweets, but the practical experience of selling can turn a girl into one smart cookie

Along with the taste of Thin Mints, Samoas and Tag-a-longs, local Girl Scouts are also savoring the sweet smell of success while learning how to set goals, be persistent, organize their schedules and other valuable skills.

“I don’t really have a secret; my mom and I, we just go everywhere, door to door (selling cookies),” said Tiondra Flynn, an 8th grader at Carpinteria Middle School who is one of the top sellers in the area. “Last year I made a goal for myself of 2,000 boxes and I’m at 2,002 right now.”

Goal setting is one of the most important skills learned selling cookies. “(They ask themselves) what do I need to do to accomplish an end result benefit? It might be the reward (that motivates the girls) but to get there requires specific behavior,” said Jeff Blackman, author of five books for sales professionals, including the recent Amazon bestseller Stop Whining, Start Selling.

The girls set pretty high goals and figure out very creative ways of reaching them, said Mary Hernandez of the local Girl Scouts of Tres Condados Council. “If they don’t reach that goal that’s another life lesson.”

The girls and adult volunteers select all of the incentives; they’re not preplanned, said Hernandez.

Last year Valerie Vampola sold more than 1,000 boxes and earned a free week at summer camp. “I want to see if I can do it again,” said the St. Raphael School 7th grader.

“They give us prizes for every hundred (boxes) or so, but if we reach 1,000 we get to go to Camp Tecuya for free. I’ve been going for like five years, it’s a really cool place,” said Flynn.

Along with summer camp, t-shirts, backpacks and beach towels can be earned. Some of the girls are motivated by college scholarships. “The reason why I’m still selling cookies, they have a scholarship program. If I’m a Girl Scout all the way through high school, I get a scholarship of 35 cents per box,” said Flynn, who said she’s really fond of animals and someday wants to train killer whales “like they do at Sea World.”

“By setting goals you give yourself a road map of what to follow rather than aimlessly pursuing the task,” said Maura Schreier-Fleming, president of Best@selling.

It’s important to set realistic goals, said Steve Waterhouse, president of the Waterhouse Group. And also to have a process tied to that goal. The girls should figure out how many houses to visit if they want to sell a certain number of cookies. “If you want to sell 50 boxes you can’t go out for just half an hour.”

While some pros said persistence is critical, Jacques Werth, author of High Probability Selling, disagrees. “We’ve studied what the top sales people do in 23 different industries on three continents. You shouldn’t spend more than one minute with people who don’t want to buy,” said Werth. “It’s all about dealing with people on the basis of mutual trust and respect. When you refuse to take no for an answer that’s not showing respect.”

“I’ve definitely learned how to take a no for answer,” said Flynn, who’s been in scouting for almost eight years. “If they just say ‘no,’ then I just say ‘thanks,’ then I just leave. When I was first starting out as a Brownie, I didn’t understand why they didn’t want any. I would be like ‘Oh, how come?’ ”

“In reality, getting a NO from a prospect is just as valuable as a YES. … Because while you are wasting your time hounding someone to get them to buy, Lord knows how many prospects, who would be much easier to sell, are getting away from you?” said Jim Labadie, owner of Howtogetmoreclients.com.

“(You have to) not be afraid to ask people. You never know who will buy and who won’t,” said Vampola. “And then sometimes if they say no, sometimes I try to encourage them to buy.”

Parental support is an important ingredient in the girl’s success. “My parents help me out. They bring (sign-up) sheets to their jobs and I go door to door, and then when cookies are finally out I try to go to booth sales as often as I can and stay there as much time as I can,” said Vampola, whose mother Irma is her troop leader and father Mark is the cookie chairman as well as the booth chairman for the region.

Flynn’s mother Pete is also her troop leader and an expert in the up-sell technique, according to her daughter. “If they give us $20, she’ll say ‘you can buy five with that’ rather than immediately giving them change,” said Flynn.

Another technique that works well for Girls Scouts is called “assumptive selling.” When author Blackman’s daughter Brittney was about 7 or 8, their town endured a really cold winter, and it was tough to sell cookies door to door. Rather than give up, Brittney simply picked up the phone and called every single person who bought from her the previous year. Her pitch: “Would you like to order the same number of boxes as last year or should I put you down for even more?”

Sounds like one smart cookie indeed.

Originally published in South Coast Beacon

Bungalow Haven

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mapWhat started out as a simple opportunity to socialize with neighbors and get to know a little more about American bungalow style architecture and restoration has quickly morphed the Bungalow Haven Neighborhood Association into a vibrant, politically active neighborhood watchdog group.

Bungalow Haven was formed about two years ago by neighbors Dee Duncan and her husband Steve Dowty, and Judy and Sayre Macneil.

“The original intent was social,” said Cheri Rae, another member of the association. Rae said the group has a couple of hundred members representing about 125 households and meets once a month at Duncan and Dowty’s home. They also have an active email list and several subcommittees, including a political action committee that is currently reviewing its position on the proposed development of the former St. Francis Medical Center property.

The Bungalow Haven neighborhood — roughly bounded by Alta Vista, Laguna, Anapamu and Micheltorena streets — began to mobilize when they learned of a plan to construct 18 new units on the 1400 block of Laguna Street and relocate five bungalows. The project — developed by Capital Pacific Holding LLC and designed by architect Detlev Peikert — was well underway before the neighbors really became aware of it. However, at least in part from their efforts (including numerous appearances before the planning commission and the architectural board of review) the project has been scaled back to retain three of the existing bungalows on the property, along with plans to build the 15 new units in craftsman style rather than the originally planned red tile roofs.

“We’ve shown up 50 at a time and I think that was part of why we’ve been so successful. People were so amazed to see such a large bunch of people who were very articulate,” said Rae, who has been sharing strategies with other neighborhood associations.

Mike Jogoleff, who has lived in Bungalow Haven since childhood, fears continued encroachment by developers would ruin the neighborhood’s character. “If somebody’s working against us like these big development companies, they just come in and screw everybody,” he said.

One of the steps the neighborhood association is taking to prevent more “condo mania” is working to establish Bungalow Haven as a Historic Landmark District. Regarding the Laguna Street project, Rae said, “… we’ve all had a steep learning curve on what the rules are, and we want to prevent it from ever happening again.”

To obtain historic status, the group must first finish a neighborhood survey cataloguing the historic elements throughout the approximately 300 homes in the neighborhood. “We’re modeling our approach on the El Pueblo Viejo and the Brinkerhoff Districts. They are (the) only two historic districts in the town so far, so we’re doing the same thing that they did,” she said.

Rae admitted, “It’s a little ironic when we say with disdain, ‘they’re putting in million dollar condos’ when our houses are creeping up toward million dollar houses. It’s just (that) what you get for your money is not stucco and brand-new efficient appliances, but you get some charm.”

Jogoleff is also keenly aware that the working-class neighborhood he grew up in has changed. ” As my neighbor says, the people that buy our houses are not going to be painters and teachers. It’s going to be lawyers, doctors, accountants.”

While development projects have been catalysts, they aren’t the primary reason for the group. “The group is to preserve this style of life, simple and kind of a calmer way of life. None of us chose to go live in a tract house in Goleta. That’s just not what we wanted. … We’re not out there recruiting members. … The whole idea is for peaceful coexistence and neighborhood protection,” Rae said.

“We’re not anti-development … it’s just within reason and it’s within scale and size and having respect for the neighborhoods that are already here. It makes no sense whatsoever to develop for new people who come in when you ignore the neighbors that are already here and have built Santa Barbara to be what it is. … We feel like we’re part of the fabric of this town and we want to be able to stay here and not be run out because we can’t have the kind of life that we want to have here,” Rae said.

Originally published in South Coast Beacon

A girlfriend’s guide to Santa Barbara parenting

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Rachael Steidl (courtesy photo)

Rachael Steidl (courtesy photo)

A Web site devoted just to harried parents offers information 24/7

Many stay-at-home moms dream of starting a business, but Rachael Steidl actually went out and did it. Working from 8 p.m. until midnight most nights, and squeezing in an additional 20 hours a week when her three daughters are otherwise occupied, Santa Barbara Parent Source (SBParent.com) has become an indispensable resource for parents just a year after launching.

Part Internet portal and part bulletin board, the site is a centralized place for all things related to parenting in Santa Barbara. Need an activity for your son’s birthday? There are two pages of listings, with descriptions, contact information and links to Web sites. That’s in addition to resource links for catering, invitations, locations, party coordinators and supplies, plus tips on gift ideas and thank you notes.

Want the skinny on camp signups? It’s all there, as is information on taxes, a calendar of kid-related events and a whole lot more. Parents want bullet points, said Steidl.

“As a mom … I’m tired of looking in phone books and just getting a name and a number,” she said. “I want information.”

Steidl said she first thought about writing a book of resources for parents, but abandoned the idea. Things change too quickly.

“I literally update stuff every single day on the Web site,” she said. “The other thing (that makes the Web ideal) is parents look for information at the most random times. You’ve got one parent who’s looking for preschool a month before they need it, and you’ve got one parent looking while they’re pregnant.

“What I’ve told businesses from the get-go is that people need to have this information year round, so that they know that they can find the information anytime they feel like going and looking for it.”

The site is supported 100 percent by advertising, which keeps it free to parents.

“What I really try to encourage businesses to do, and some have been very supportive of this, is that by listing on the site you’re giving parents choices,” she said. “You may not need the business, but there’s parents who want to know about your program and may not be talking to the right people to find out about it.”

The company also publishes an e-newsletter twice a month, which Steidl said is catching on quickly. In addition to listing upcoming events, the newsletter features articles of interest to parents and philanthropic opportunities for families. Giving back to the community is an important value for Steidl. Recently she co-sponsored the first annual Mother’s Day 5K and Family Festival, in partnership with Jamie Allison from Moms in Motion, and part of the proceeds went to Domestic Violence Solutions.

“Both Jamie and I share a very similar philosophy to support moms and women and taking care of themselves and staying connected with people,” she said.

To connect with Steidl and Santa Barbara Parent Source visit www.sbparent.com or call 448.2426.

Originally published in South Coast Beacon (2005)

Make Mother’s Day Special

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Give mom what she really deserves this year, a weekend of rest and relaxation at one of the Central Coast’s unforgettable resorts, bed and breakfasts or hotels.

Villa Toscana Bed & Breakfast

Fulfilling owner David Weyrich’s vision for a “quintessential wine country retreat,” this Tuscan-style village sits smack in the middle of the Martin & Weyrich vineyard in Paso Robles. Each of the eight suites (named after the vineyard’s wines) has unique Tuscan-inspired decor, and all have huge baths with whirlpool tubs, spacious sitting areas, and balconies overlooking the vineyard. Spa treatments can be arranged in your suite. For the ultimate pampering, rent the Winemaker’s Residence: a 3,500-square-foot apartment with a full kitchen and a private balcony with hot tub. For more information call 238.5600 or visit www.myvillatoscana.com.

Courtesy The Carlton

Courtesy The Carlton

The Carlton Hotel

For a completely different kind of getaway, take mom to the newly restored historic Carlton Hotel in downtown Atascadero. It has a big-city luxury hotel feel (think San Francisco, Boston or Washington, D.C.) without the long flight or parking hassles. The 52 tastefully designed guest rooms reflect the charm of yesterday but have all of the amenities of today, including spectacular spa tubs, 24-hour concierge services, a gym, several excellent restaurants and a roof terrace garden to enjoy. For more information, call 461.5100 or visit www.the-carlton.com.

Suite Edna Bed & Breakfast

Located in San Luis Obispo County’s wine country, this charming restored farmhouse is the perfect B&B for people who aren’t necessarily B&B people. There’s no forced socializing, you have the entire house to yourself, with the option to bring up to six people total (three rooms) in your group. Mom can make herself at home with a good book on one of the two delightful porches and end her day with a relaxing massage in a private garden cottage that’s just steps away. Owner Pattea Torrence is an antiques aficionado, and her attention to detail will please even the most meticulous moms. For more information call 544.8062 or visit www.oldedna.com.

Post Ranch Inn

This luxurious, 30-room Big Sur retreat, designed exclusively “for adults to relax, rejuvenate and nurture relationships,” features a series of redwood guesthouses with views of the sea or the mountains, blended almost invisibly into a wooded cliff 1,200 feet above the Pacific. On-site offerings include everything from yoga to star gazing, with the whole experience designed to preserve a sense of serenity. Known for its oneness with nature, Post Ranch Inn has been described as a “luxury resort that is a playground for the soul.” For more information call 1.831.667.2200 or visit www.postranchinn.com.

Sycamore Mineral Springs Resort

These hot mineral springs, which bubble up amid gorgeous oak and sycamore trees, have rejuvenated thousands of spa guests since 1897. An environment dedicated to healing and renewal, each room and suite has its own private balcony with a hot tub and about half of the rooms have mineral water piped into the tubs.

The treatment center offers an array of hands-on healing therapies, while the yoga institute offers classes in yoga, Pilates, meditation and associated wellness disciplines. The beautiful gardens, labyrinth, walking/hiking trails, and the communal hot springs are also wonderful places for mom to relax and refresh herself. For more information call 595.7302 or visit www.sycamoresprings.com.

Ventana Inn & Spa

Nestled in the heart of Los Padres National Forest in Big Sur, the romantic Ventana resort is a perfect getaway. In fact, when celebrities like Oprah Winfrey, Robert DeNiro, Johnny Depp and Keanu Reeves want to get away from it all, they visit these 243-acres of tranquil forest overlooking the Pacific.

The rooms are so gorgeous — with ocean and mountain views, spa tubs, flat-screen televisions and porches equipped with private Jacuzzis and peaceful hammocks — mom may never want to leave. If she does venture out, she can sunbathe, walk or ride horses in the nearby hills, do yoga or tai chi, take a photography lesson or a painting class, or pamper herself with spa treatments.

“There’s nothing that we won’t do for our guests, period,” said general manager Paul O’Dowd.

No wonder the stars like this place. For more information call 1.800. 628.6500 or visit www.ventanainn.com.

Originally published in South Coast Beacon

Cantor Baby

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Image by digitalart, courtesy of freeimages.net

Image by digitalart, courtesy of freeimages.net

December is one of the cruelest months for Jews.

Sure we have Hanukkah to celebrate our urge to shop, and latkes to indulge our genetic urge for carbs, and we can decorate in blue and silver to our hearts’ content, but the one thing we’re lacking in is carols. Let’s face it, other than “Oh Hanukkah,” and Adam Sandler’s “Hanukkah Song,” there aren’t a whole lot of Hanukkah hymns on the airwaves.

Rather than kvetch and whine about the lack of Chanukah chants this holiday season, I decided to do something about it. As with all things Jewish and musical, first I turned to my Cantor for inspiration.

Cantor Baby (to the tune of “Santa Baby)

Buh-bum.. buh-bum…

Cantor baby, slip a table under my knee, for me.

I’ve got an ache in my neck, Cantor baby, so hurry the masseuses tonight.

Cantor baby, a Jaguar convertible too, teal blue.

I’ll wait for you with the bells, and Sven and Nels.

Cantor baby, so hurry the masseuses tonight.

Think of all I’ve sacrificed, think of all the stuff I bought sale-priced. Next year I could be just as thrifty, if you’ll check off my Hanukkah listy,

Cantor baby, I wanna sunny vacation spot, oh yeah.

And really that’s not a lot, been an angel all year.

Cantor baby, so hurry the masseuses tonight.

Cantor honey, there’s one thing that I really do need, a maid, who can cook matzo ball soup, doo doop.

And clean up after my kid, which is a pain in my neck.

Oh heck.

So hurry the masseuses-I’m not talkin’ mezuzahs-hurry the masseuses tonight.

My own family did not inspire this next little ditty, I swear.

Let It Go, Let It Go, Let It Go (to the tune of “Let It Snow”)

Oh the fight we had last month was frightful.

But hashing it over is so delightful.

It’s finally time to end the row.

Let It Go! Let It Go! Let It Go!

It doesn’t show signs of stopping.

And I’ve bought some corn for popping.

So much for family drama.

Can you just let it go, mama.

My last nerve is about to blow.

Let It Go! Let It Go! Let It Go!

When we finally kiss goodnight.

How I’ll hate going home if you’re mad.

But what’s a holiday if there’s not a fight.

It’s what we call communication.

And venting our seasonal frustration.

But as long as you love me so.

Let It Go! Let It Go! Let It Go!

My family didn’t inspire that last one, but this one sure brings back memories. Of course all of the snow at my Grandmother’s house in Beverly Hills was fake and came from Niemans.

Noshing Through the Snow (to the tune of “Jingle Bells”)

Noshing through the snow, in a big safe Grand Marquis.

O’er the roads we go.

Driving so slowly.

Bells on cell phones ring.

Dad thinks of the gelt.

What fun it is to laugh and sing and watch the chocolate coins melt. Oh, Grandma Kvells, Grandma Kvells.

Futzing all the way.

Oh, what fun it is to ride in a family car all day, hey.

Grandma Kvells, Grandma Kvells.

Futzing all the way.

Oh, what fun it is to ride in the family car all day.

And finally, my personal favorite. I’m sure you’ll be hearing this on NPR soon, right after “Oy, Come All Ye Faithful” and “Little Drummer Goy.”

We Wish You a Merry Mazeltov (to the tune of “We Wish You a Merry Christmas”)

We wish you a Merry Mazeltov.

We wish you a Merry Mazeltov.

We wish you a Merry Mazeltov and a Happy New Year.

Good tidings we bring and a hot brisket too.

Good tidings for Hanukkah and some pastrami too.

Oh, bring us some lox and bagels.

Oh, bring us a smidge more kugel.

Oh, bring us some Matzo Ball Soup and a cup of Manischewitz.

We won’t go until we get full.

We won’t go until we get full.

We won’t go until we get full, so bring some more food!

We wish you a Merry Mazeltov.

We wish you a Merry Mazeltov.

We wish you a Merry Mazeltov and a Happy New Year.

==

Merry Mazeltov to all of you. Send your Hanukkah hymn suggestions to Leslie@LeslieDinaberg.com .

Originally appeared in the Santa Barbara Daily Sound on December 8, 2012.

Jungle Mom

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Photo by Sura Nualpradid freedigitalphotos.net

Photo by Sura Nualpradid freedigitalphotos.net

I pity the first girl who stomps on my son’s heart.

I realized something about myself recently and it’s not very pretty. I may be an anti-violent, NPR-supporting, bleeding heart pacifist in theory, but when it comes right down to it-I would kill to prevent my son from suffering heartache.

I may not be a tiger mother, but I’m a jungle mom nonetheless. It stuns me how quickly I turn into Mama Bear when something threatens my cub.

When he was younger, I was mostly fixated on doing everything in my power to help my son avoid physical pain. Implanting a GPS tracking device and a boundary collar always sounded perfectly reasonable to me. It was only my husband’s mockery that prevented me from sending Koss out to play in full body armor. I would have wrapped him in Charmin from head to toe, like that kid in the old commercial who goes out to play football and practically tips over from all that cushiony padding.

I was always jealous of the mom in that commercial.

My imagination splinters into a million fearful little pieces whenever I think about anything bad happening to my son.

But now that Koss has successfully survived enough banged up knees and bruised elbows to keep the Band-Aid and Bactine business booming for years to come, it’s his emotional pain that keeps me up at night.

The fact is we’re still warming up to puberty, so at this point his hurt feelings dig much deeper into my overactive imagination than they do into his psyche. I will often still be reeling over some playground slight or hurt from weeks back when Koss wants to invite that very same kid I’ve been mentally murdering over to play.

Pesky old reality is no match for the mind of a mother.

Just thinking about the prospect of his many broken hearts to come is enough to make me growl.

I can’t help myself. Just thinking about that future girl who will someday make him cry drives me nuts. I want to kill her. I want to rip her to shreds. The mere thought of that girl transforms me into every single awful parent-of-an-only-child stereotype, though some might call me a murderous lunatic.

Gee, I hope his future girlfriends never read this column. That would be awful. Just awful.

Karma’s a bitch, and I certainly had my moments. As a former teenage girl, I know just how mean they can be.

Plus the fact that my genetic eggs are in this one and only one precious basket makes me guard it all the more zealously.

But here’s the rub. As a parent I’ve found that it’s almost impossible to try to comfort someone and develop their character at the time. With girlfriends and husbands, your job is just to listen and be supportive and hate whomever they hate at that moment. In those cases it’s easy to blame it on the other guy.

But when you’re comforting a child you sometimes have to fess up to the fact that it’s not always the other guy’s fault. Human relationships are complicated and they’re only just beginning.

Kind of makes me wish for the good old days when I would dream up tactical scenarios of how I would jump into the lion’s cage at the zoo to rescue my son.

When Leslie’s not busy cocooning her son in bubble wrap she can be reached at Leslie@LeslieDinaberg.com. For more columns visit www.LeslieDinaberg.com.  Originally published in the Santa Barbara Daily Sound on July 20, 2012.

Crazy Busy or Just Plain Crazy

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jesadaphorn, freedigitalphotos.net

jesadaphorn, freedigitalphotos.net

As I write this first sentence, I’m on hold with my insurance company-again. I’m also listening to phone messages, soaking my whites in bleach, taping an episode of “Next Food Network Star,” stretching my quads, doing a few Kegel exercises and sipping my coffee, which I know is bad for me again this month, because I read it in “Prevention” while I was standing in line at Vons this morning.

It’s taken years of practice, but I’ve finally ratcheted my level of multitasking to “Rock Star,” and now I find out that there’s some new research that says multitasking actually slows you down. I had to push my 1:15 ’til 2:30 and ignore my email, but I managed to get myself to the library to get a peek at psychiatrist Edward Hallowell’s book, “Crazy Busy: Overstretched, Overbooked, and About to Snap! Strategies for Coping in a World Gone ADD.”

You don’t think I have time to actually buy and read a book about busyness, do you? But I skimmed it, for free, and I really tried to focus on the book, and only the book, during the 13 minutes I calculated it would take the meter maid to get to my illegally parked car.

The good doctor, who specializes in Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), says that it is literally impossible to pay conscious attention to doing more than one thing at once. Instead, you end up paying conscious attention to several tasks in succession, and not doing any of them very well. When you switch your brain between tasks you end up wasting, rather than saving, precious time because your brain continually has to restart and refocus.

Are you kidding me? And here I was thinking it might be time to have another baby now that there’s a breast pump with a car adaptor (the Pump in Style) on the market. Just don’t drive over any bumps while you pump.

My husband-who would never dare to sully the experience of watching ESPN by matching a pair of socks, even when they accidentally whack him on the side of the head-has sworn by the do-one-thing-at-a-time-theory for years. Has hell finally frozen over? If not, he can’t possibly be right.

And yet, other experts also support the movement towards uni- tasking. A study at the University of Michigan found that multitasking leads to expensive “time costs.” Team leader Dr. David Meyer says that the additional time required to switch between one task and another tends to increase with the complexity of the chores involved. And that over the long run, the time required to make these switches may lead to a 20 to 40 percent decrease in actual productivity.

A 40 percent decrease? I can’t afford that. As much yammering as I do about how busy I am-and I am actually pretty busy-the reason that I need to multitask is to make sure that I also have time to read novels, catch a movie once in a while and take a long lunch with a friend.

Sometimes I’m almost embarrassed to admit that it’s more important to me have a social life than it is to have a clean house or actually bake the cookies myself. Sometimes there’s this undertone of bragging or one-upmanship when people, especially moms, talk about how busy they are. And I’m always a little self-conscious that I, as the mother of one, will never be as busy as my nut job friends who have four or more children. But I work! C’mon, give a girl a few points.

Of course the trouble with writing about busyness is that it makes you even more hyper-aware of how you spend each moment. It’s exhausting. If I didn’t have to change the laundry loads, write a speech, pick up the trash, and take out the kid, I might take a nap.

Why not find out if you can walk, chew gum, and send an email to Leslie@LeslieDinaberg.com at the same time? For more of Leslie’s columns visit www.lesliedinaberg.com.  Originally published in the Santa Barbara Daily Sound on June 22, 2012.

Eat, Drink and Be Married

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Photo by Vichaya Kiatying-Angsulee, freedigitalphotos.net

Photo by Vichaya Kiatying-Angsulee, freedigitalphotos.net

Chatting with Author Rebecca Bloom

“What is it about wedding preparations that makes the ordinary tasks usually taking a woman from bed to bath, to bra, to base, to bagel, to bag, to butt-on-the-seat-of- the-car in 28 minutes flat, suddenly expand, exhale and evolve into hours upon hours of careful mirror observations and highly scrutinized tinkering?” writes Rebecca Bloom in her new novel, “Eat, Drink, and Be Married.”

I’m giggling as I read these words (So very true!) and laughing even more as I speak to their author, who is sneaking in our phone call during the precious naptime of her two-year-old son. Along with some of the laugh-out-loud-in-recognition scenes in her book, this is yet another thing about Rebecca Bloom that I can relate to.

Expecting her second child in the fall, Rebecca chats easily about writing, kids, tequila and the birth of “Eat, Drink, and Be Married,” her third novel. Here are some highlights:

Leslie Dinaberg: I really enjoyed the book. What was your inspiration?

Rebecca Bloom: I had been going to a lot of weddings and I was noticing that there is so much else that goes on around the wedding. There’s such a heightened sense of emotions for everybody. I wanted to write something that explored not just what the bride and groom were going through but what the guests themselves were going through. Weddings bring out a lot of different kinds of things for people and I wanted to explore those things.

LD: I was really struck by the coming together of the college friends who got back into their old dynamic so quickly and reverted to their old selves. Was that your experience?

RB: With my girlfriends from college, we have this shorthand that it doesn’t matter how long it has been since we’ve talked or how much has happened, the minute we’re together there’s not a lag, we don’t really have to catch up. There’s an instant repartee and there’s an instant sort of comfort and camaraderie. I wanted to put that in the book because I do think that in college you form such intense bonds because you’re with people 24/7 and you don’t really have time past college to ever really do that. … I wanted to capture that because I think it’s the case for a lot of people that the old friends sometimes are the ones that know you the best.

LD: A while back my husband and I were in that wedding a weekend phase and we sort of became the wedding critics. What do you think makes a really good wedding or a really not so good wedding?

RB: It is funny, when you write a wedding book everyone thinks you’re an expert on weddings but it’s sort of just your own opinion.

I think the best weddings are the weddings that really represent the bride and groom and you can tell that they really planned it for themselves and not for their moms and their friends. It’s really all about them. And those are often the most fun.

Our wedding had a lot of tequila and that really made it fun (Laughs). … I think the ones that are the best are the most relaxed and represent the couple-not just the bride.

LD: Were you married when you wrote this book?

RB: Actually I wrote this book, the first draft of it, when I was single. I wrote this wedding book and then I met my husband. So we’re sort of like that movie “Field of Dreams,” where the whole thing is like if you build it he will come. (Laughs)

LD: And now you have a husband, a young son and another on the way. How do you write and juggle all of that?

RB: Not as well as I would like. I am trying to start writing something new and it’s just hard. It’s hard to find the balance. … You just do the best you can. I can’t do everything all the time. And I can’t do it very well. My kids right now are the most important and that’s okay for me for right now.

LD: Not only are weddings fraught with drama, they’re also a huge business. Was that sort of marketing angle in your mind when you developed the story?

RB: I definitely knew … that there might be more avenues open maybe for publicity or marketing but I didn’t really think about that when I was writing it.

As I’ve gotten older though and as I end up starting my next book I’m thinking about that more because I want to make a living and I want it to sell and so I’m letting that come in a little bit. I have a bunch of ideas, so I am thinking which one is the most marketable and I’ll go with that.

But I’m not writing about zombies or anything (Laughs).

LD: I don’t know, a vampire, shades of grey, zombie wedding book with a historical twist could be huge.

For more information about Rebecca Bloom, visit www.rebeccabloom.com. For more columns visit www.LeslieDinaberg.com.  Originally published in the Santa Barbara Daily Sound on June 8, 2012.

The Neurotic Parent Comes to Santa Barbara

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The Neurotic Parent's Guide to College AdmissionsSome people say that getting your kid through the college application process is a lot like childbirth-you have to experience it yourself to really understand it. Unlike with childbirth, where the endorphins kick in and make you forget most of the pain once you hold that precious baby in your arms, the only chemicals associated with getting your child into college are stiff drinks (for the parents) and plenty of aspirin. Luckily, we can now add a healthy dose of laughter to the college admission cocktail, thanks to J.D. Rothman’s new book, The Neurotic Parent’s Guide to College Admissions. With a sassy, sarcastic style that reminded me of The Official Preppy Handbook, Rothman does a spectacular job of skewering the collective craziness that overtakes otherwise rational people during this phase of their lives. At the same time, it’s not just funny but also provides valuable insights and incisive anthropological observations into the process. “There’s a collective neurosis kind of thing that takes place for parents during this time of their lives,” explains Rothman, who is an Emmy-winning television writer and lyricist in her other work life. After an eye-opening college tour with her older son (now a junior at Duke), she started the anonymous Neurotic Parent Blog as a way to reflect on the nutty parents who had “started their kids in college preparatory programs in the fifth grade,” as well as the “thousands of shockingly bright, polite, alert students, all of whom were vying for her son’s (or your daughter’s) spot.” Up until that trip, she had “no idea there was this level of insanity about the college admission process.” The blog quickly caught on and went viral after a post about Cornell’s hotel’s ugly bedspreads. Rothman admits that she too got caught up in the craziness. Some of the other students had out of this world accomplishments, like “discovering galaxies,” so she wondered how her son would ever compete. Like many parent trips, the first one you feel during the college application process is guilt. Rothman writes, “Clearly it is all your fault. While you were letting your child engage in normal activities like summer camp, babysitting and bowling, other kids were interning for their senators, training seeing eye-dogs and starting hedge funds in Sri Lanka. As a result, for every impressive kid, there are 50 even more outstanding ones.” She observes that even parents who were “not neurotic about other things like eating and sleeping still became neurotic about the college admission process. … Thankfully it is usually not both members of a couple,” she laughs. “Thankfully” is right. Though I often want to give therapy bonds as baby shower gifts, this book will make a pretty good substitute. Laughter is clearly the best therapy for Rothman, who offers up an amusing “prayer for the SAT” (please protect me from mis-bubbling and using passive voice, bless my number two pencils and protect their points), two pages of “haikus for the neurotic parent” and an entire chapter about “barista readiness” (a college degree is fine, but at the end of the day, they’d better know how to prepare a venti, sugar-free, nonfat, vanilla soy, double-shot, decaf, no foam, extra hot, peppermint white chocolate mocha). Asked if her current book tour has made her more or less neurotic, Rothman, who will appear at Chaucer’s on Sunday at 2 p.m., says, “definitely more, but now I’m neurotic about selling books.” Of course it doesn’t hurt that her younger son was recently accepted into his “dream school.” Unlike the rest of us there will be no more college applications for her to deal with in the future-unless the kids don’t like being baristas and want to go to graduate school. The upside? That might mean there’s another book in her future, and ours. Since my son’s only in seventh grade-and hasn’t, to my knowledge, written any symphonies or cured any diseases-this is definitely one book I plan to keep on my shelf for future reading. As Rothman says in her “orientation to college angst,” “whether you have a kindergartener or a 12th grader, may your child’s search be full of multiple acceptances, generous merit scholarships and chill roommates.” If they’re not, may you at least retain the ability to laugh at it all! = Spend your tax day in a lively reading and conversation about the insanity of modern college admissions at Chaucer’s Books, 3321 State St. Sunday, April 15 at 2 p.m.

When Leslie’s not stressing about her son’s lack of Olympic curling credentials, Mandarin language and Ethiopian cooking skills, she can be reached at Leslie@LeslieDinaberg.com. For more columns visitwww.LeslieDinaberg.com.  Originally published in the Santa Barbara Daily Sound on April 13, 2012.