A girlfriend’s guide to Santa Barbara parenting

Rachael Steidl (courtesy photo)

Rachael Steidl (courtesy photo)

A Web site devoted just to harried parents offers information 24/7

Many stay-at-home moms dream of starting a business, but Rachael Steidl actually went out and did it. Working from 8 p.m. until midnight most nights, and squeezing in an additional 20 hours a week when her three daughters are otherwise occupied, Santa Barbara Parent Source (SBParent.com) has become an indispensable resource for parents just a year after launching.

Part Internet portal and part bulletin board, the site is a centralized place for all things related to parenting in Santa Barbara. Need an activity for your son’s birthday? There are two pages of listings, with descriptions, contact information and links to Web sites. That’s in addition to resource links for catering, invitations, locations, party coordinators and supplies, plus tips on gift ideas and thank you notes.

Want the skinny on camp signups? It’s all there, as is information on taxes, a calendar of kid-related events and a whole lot more. Parents want bullet points, said Steidl.

“As a mom … I’m tired of looking in phone books and just getting a name and a number,” she said. “I want information.”

Steidl said she first thought about writing a book of resources for parents, but abandoned the idea. Things change too quickly.

“I literally update stuff every single day on the Web site,” she said. “The other thing (that makes the Web ideal) is parents look for information at the most random times. You’ve got one parent who’s looking for preschool a month before they need it, and you’ve got one parent looking while they’re pregnant.

“What I’ve told businesses from the get-go is that people need to have this information year round, so that they know that they can find the information anytime they feel like going and looking for it.”

The site is supported 100 percent by advertising, which keeps it free to parents.

“What I really try to encourage businesses to do, and some have been very supportive of this, is that by listing on the site you’re giving parents choices,” she said. “You may not need the business, but there’s parents who want to know about your program and may not be talking to the right people to find out about it.”

The company also publishes an e-newsletter twice a month, which Steidl said is catching on quickly. In addition to listing upcoming events, the newsletter features articles of interest to parents and philanthropic opportunities for families. Giving back to the community is an important value for Steidl. Recently she co-sponsored the first annual Mother’s Day 5K and Family Festival, in partnership with Jamie Allison from Moms in Motion, and part of the proceeds went to Domestic Violence Solutions.

“Both Jamie and I share a very similar philosophy to support moms and women and taking care of themselves and staying connected with people,” she said.

To connect with Steidl and Santa Barbara Parent Source visit www.sbparent.com or call 448.2426.

Originally published in South Coast Beacon (2005)

Talk about a walk

Photo by graur razvan ionut (freedigitalphotos.net)

Photo by graur razvan ionut (freedigitalphotos.net)

After 27 years, these ladies think they’ve hit their stride

It’s been said that walking a mile in someone’s shoes fuels greater understanding — so just imagine what walking three miles together, five days a week, for 27 years, will fuel.

In the case of walking partners Judy Bernstein, Beverley Brier, Natalie Gaynes, Barbara Mizes, Blanca Presser and Phyllis Cox (who joined the group in 1998), they’ve shared laughter, friendship, triumph and sorrow. They’ve also seen how the South Coast has changed in the Patterson Avenue/Kellogg School neighborhood they’ve walked for so many years.

“We have been through the many travails all these years, starting with young children, teenagers, college entrance exams, weddings and now grandchildren…” Brier said. “One gentleman who has seen us walking for years said we look like Pacman, the mouths are all going a mile-a-minute.”

The mouths may be moving quickly, but so are the legs. Even our 20-something photographer was huffing and puffing as we took an early morning walk with these dynamos.

Presser and Gaynes started walking together and the others quickly joined in. Bernstein said she started out trying to get in shape for her first trip to Europe, adding that having a group of friends to exercise with is very motivating.

“It’s so long and so boring and so tiring and when you talk, you don’t notice it,” Bernstein said.

“We solve the world’s problems on our walks,” Brier said.

“But most of them are personal,” Bernstein added.

Cox recalled that she joined the group the year before her daughter got married, and had her friends help guide her through the planning. Last week, Mizes was planning her father’s funeral and Brier was helping with a memorial for a close friend.

While the ladies have serious discussions during their walks, sometimes inspired by their lives and sometimes by the changes they see, they also have fun.

Not only have the women formed friendships among themselves, they’ve gotten to know the neighbors. The men at a residential care home wave each morning and let them know if they’re running late, while the neighborhood dogs expect a pat on the head.

“I cannot tell you how many people that I meet at a dinner party who say, ‘Do I see you walking?'” Mizes said.

The sweat is pouring but the banter stays lively throughout our walk.

Some of their husbands wonder how they have so much to say to each other, but Brier said they’re never at a loss.

“If you want to say something you have to jump in,” said Mizes, who once recruited a member (Ginny Alexander, who has since moved) on a flight to London. She even tried to get the Beacon staffers to join.

“We’ll get you through all of the trials and tribulations,” she said. “Every time you think you’ve got a problem, by the time you go through us giving you input you’ll feel better.”

Thanks. We already do.

Originally published in South Coast Beacon

Labor of love

SBMA docents often young students’ first exposure to art

Santa Barbara Museum of Art

Santa Barbara Museum of Art

“The most important thing about learning to look at art is that what you feel about it matters. Your opinion is valid. There is no right answer,” is what Santa Barbara Museum of Art (SBMA) Docent Pat Andersons tells elementary school students before she brings them in for tours.

The very first visitors on SBMA’s opening day in 1941 were schoolchildren. Today the Museum serves about 30,000 children per year through its education program, said Spokeswoman Martha Donelan.

Much of the educational programming is carried out by docents, who collectively volunteer approximately 12,000 hours per year, said Andersons, president of the 79-member group, which includes artists, teachers, a married couple who met through the program (Candice Taylor and Paul McClung) and even a retired rocket scientist (Cliff Hauenstein). Docents undergo nine months of rigorous training, as well as ongoing education. Unlike many museums, which use scripted tours, “One of the things that’s so different about our program is that we do all our own research … we select the pieces … it’s a really personal thing.”

Most docents lead tours for both children and adults, but it’s clearly the kids who’ve captured Andersons’ heart. One of the things that fascinated me when I started touring kids is that “a lot of children have never been to a museum … so the concept of original art … makes them almost giddy,” she said.

Prior to the elementary school field trips — funded entirely by SBMA, including the buses — docents visit the school to give a preparatory talk. “(The school visit) is actually one of the most important aspects of the program because not only does it give the children something to look forward to and get them excited about the program, but they feel more comfortable coming here if they know what to expect,” said Andersons.

“… We have wonderful exhibitions and an outstanding permanent collection, but the education program, and the docent programs in particular, are the ways that we reach out to people and let them know what we have and why it’s interesting and what’s cool about it,” said Donelan.

After children tour the museum, they are given souvenir postcards and free tickets to bring their families back to the Museum. Teachers are also given posters and hands-on activities do back in the classroom. The program — which serves schools from as far away as Lompoc and Hueneme at no cost — is curriculum-based, designed to compliment what teachers are doing in the classroom from K-12.

With art programs in the schools being cut, sometimes we’re it, said Andersons. Admittedly, being a docent is demanding, but infinitely rewarding, said Andersons. “We all think we get back much more than we give,” she said.

For additional information about the docent-training program, call Sue Skenderian at 684.6384.

Originally published in South Coast Beacon

Where Silence is Golden

The Immaculate Heart Center for Spiritual Renewal

A feeling of tranquility and peace welcomes visitors as they enter the grounds of Montecito’s historic estate, La Casa de Maria, and head up the oak tree-lined driveway to the grand stone house in the center of the 26-acre nonprofit interfaith retreat and conference center. Once considered holy ground by the Chumash nation, today La Casa de Maria offers a quiet destination for people of all faiths to escape the stress of everyday life and deepen their spirituality through individual and couples retreats in the intimate surroundings of the Immaculate Heart Center for Spiritual Renewal, or in group gatherings throughout La Casa’s campus.

La Casa’s property was originally part of the San Ysidro Ranch; then became El Prado Rancho, the first lemon orchard in the area; then later became Rancho El Bosque, which brought the addition of the estate house, designed by architect Mary Craig. The home, which now houses the Immaculate Heart Center, remains mostly intact today, featuring stone quarried from nearby San Ysidro Creek, hand-carved teak ceilings, distinctive Italian fireplace mantels, and courtyard tiles from Spain.

“It is a very prayerful surrounding,” says Carol Carrig, the center’s director since 1997. Offering a spiritual bed and breakfast getaway, with delicious organic meals made from produce grown on the property and prepared by the Immaculate Heart Community of former nuns, guests often start out visiting for a few days, then come back again for longer retreats. “They realize that they’re getting in getting in touch with the deeper things that are going on within themselves,” says Carrig.

But beneath the peace and solitude of the center lies a long and storied history, not just of faith, but also of integrity, determination, and vision.

In 1943 Novice Mistress Mother Regina McPartlin, along with 12 novice Sisters of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, turned the estate into a Novitiate, where young women train to become nuns. While they pursued religious life on La Casa’s grounds, the peaceful surroundings were also gaining a reputation in Hollywood. Stars such as Irene Dunne, Loretta Young, and Ricardo Montalban came for retreats, holding prayer services in the Novitiate by day, while staying overnight at the Biltmore. In 1955, La Casa de Maria Retreat House formed and became the first retreat center for Catholic married couples. “Every weekend for probably 15 years, 40 married couples came to La Casa. The priests said mass for them, gave them conferences, they renewed their marriage vows, and had wonderful weekends,” says Stephanie Glatt, director of La Casa de Maria.

During the 1960s, there were conflicts between James Francis McIntyre-the Cardinal Archbishop of Los Angeles who oversaw the Immaculate Heart community-and the sisters’ understanding of the Vatican’s directive to update the church for contemporary times. “McIntyre said, ‘either follow what I say or give up your vows,'” recalls Carrig. “So that’s what we decided to do. To remain a community and to follow what we believed should be the right direction-but everybody had to give up their vows.”

The sisters took the revolutionary step of evolving into the Immaculate Heart Community, an ecumenical group of men and women, both single and married. Rather than fall apart, as many predicted, the Immaculate Heart Community has stayed together and thrived, with almost 200 members still active around the world. The community has operated the Immaculate Heart Center for Spiritual Renewal since 1974, opening its doors for private retreats for people of all faiths.

“It feels like a holy land. Not like Christian, I mean it just feels that the meditation, the peace, the quiet there is special,” says author/psychotherapist Alyce Faye Cleese, one of La Casa’s patrons. She calls the sisters “renegade nuns,” adding, “their story, for their day as women, was an extraordinary piece of women’s lib really-their courage and their bravery and their saying, ‘We’re women, we can do this and we will survive.'”

Today La Casa offers a wide array of programs, such as 12 Step Retreats; the Sacred Art of Living and Dying (for caregivers); Kaballah (Jewish Mysticism) (Jewish Mysticism); Waking up on Earth: Spiritual Life in a Time of Crisis; Centering Prayer Practice Retreats; Recovering Religion as a Work of the Imagination; and Capacitar, which combines Tai Chi, meditation and other practices that integrate spirituality and body wisdom.

In 2005, the Immaculate Heart Community bought back the entire property and is now in the process of a $7.7 million capital campaign. In addition to paying off the mortgage, they also plan to renew the conference buildings, preserve the ecology of the site-including the creating a sustainable agricultural site that protects native plants; developing an organic orchard/garden to provide the produce for the dining rooms; and improving the overall health of the citrus orchard and native Coast Live Oak grove-and develop additional La Casa-sponsored programs. “Part of that is our plan to integrate La Casa de Maria with the greater community and have more people understanding what we’re doing and supporting our program,” says capital campaign chair Christine Garvey, a retired banker. “We’ve mobilized a lot of the neighbors.”

One “neighborly” recruit is capital campaign cabinet member Joan Kreiss, a physician who did AIDS research in Africa before moving to town seven years ago. “What I love about La Casa de Maria is its rich sense of history,” she says. “For our family-and this is particularly important for my children-living next door to La Casa de Maria… gives a sense of context, a sense of being part of a historical continuum.”

“It’s kind of like Peter Pan, you have to believe,” says Cleese. “Not in God, just believing in the goodness of people and the goodness of nature and that something (like La Casa de Maria) is worth existing.”

For more information on La Casa de Maria, call Stephanie Glatt at 969.5031 ext. 204 or visit www.lacasademaria.org.

Originally published in Santa Barbara Magazine

First Time Home Buyers: The American Dream … the South Coast Reality

Google maps photo

Google maps photo

Breaking into the local real estate market is tough but not impossible. Leslie Dinaberg explores who’s buying for the first time and how.

Practicality, frugality and focus were the key values that got Jonathan and Kara Rocque into their first home, at 7126 Del Norte Dr. in Goleta. Both UCSB graduates, the Rocques lived in a one-bedroom apartment and didn’t really upgrade their lifestyle much after college in order to save money for a house.

They started making offers right after they married, about 2-1/2 years ago, but Jonathan said he wasn’t really ready to buy until recently. “People always say ‘get in as soon as you can,’ but … at the same time, I really have no regrets not getting in any sooner because I wasn’t ready.” An engineer, he said he worked for a start-up company and was worried about job stability.

“I think I got to the point where I gained more confidence in myself and that things were going to be okay,” said Jonathan, who now works for Indigo Systems, which recently merged with FLIR Systems.

When he felt really ready to buy, Jonathan had the willing assistance of his father, John Rocque, a realtor and mortgage broker in San Dimas.

Another factor that kept the Rocques from buying quickly was their expectation of what they would be able to afford. “We started thinking that we wanted our dream home out of the shoot, and I think that’s what delayed our purchase, probably,” said Jonathan.

The three-bedroom two and a half-bathroom home the Rocques eventually bought this year for $659,500 has a studio apartment (garage conversion) on the property, a big selling point. “We were looking at these two-bedroom one-bath cottages and went, I just can’t do it. There’s got to be something out there that’s better because it doesn’t leave us the flexibility to grow,” said Jonathan. “When we saw this place with the studio I just thought ‘Oh God, couldn’t be better.’ I could give up the garage and take the extra income that will definitely help.”

Kara noted the backyard had a shed for storage, making it easier for her to give up the garage space. Being able to have a vegetable garden was also important to her, as was the school district. “Basically any school in Goleta, I’m totally comfortable with,” said Kara, who teaches first grade at La Patera.

The Rocques also knew what they didn’t want: no condos and no commuting. “The whole reason we live in Santa Barbara is the lifestyle,” said Jonathan. “I ride my bike. I love the mountains. I love riding by the ocean. I love the weather. I value my time … I’m not going to drive an hour each way to work. I’d go somewhere else where I could live close,” he said.

“I don’t think either one of us ever wants to move into one of the new developments because they’re so crunched together,” added Kara. “Yeah they look pretty, they’re nice and new, but to me this has more character than those houses. You can paint it whatever color you want to paint it; you can do whatever you want with your yard.”

While the Rocques would eventually like to move to a larger house, they are fixing up their yard and treating the house like a home.

“It’s not short term, but it’s not forever,” said Kara.

“This house easily gets us ten years,” said Jonathan. “If we wanted to, at some point we’ll refinance and we could reclaim that space (the studio).”

And as for the realities of being able to afford to stay on the South Coast, they credit much of their success to Patrick Flood, the financial consultant Jonathan began working with when he graduated from college. The Rocques said they feel both blessed and proud to be able to get into the housing market

“I like taking on challenges too. I took a major in college … that was challenging. And staying in Santa Barbara was a big challenge, but I was going to do it. I was really, really happy that we could,” said Jonathan.

Added Kara: “If we can do it here then we can do it anywhere.”

Originally published in South Coast Beacon

Java Joys

Courtesy Daily Grind

Courtesy Daily Grind

Ah, that rich, strong aroma of coffee. For some of us it’s the only thing that makes getting out of bed worthwhile. Even if you’re more interested in soaking up the atmosphere than the caffeine, it’s fun to know the 411 on local coffee houses.

Here’s my two cents. I’m sure others will disagree, and I’d be happy to debate them, as long as it’s over a latte.

Best overall

Red’s (211 Helena) – the “anti-Starbucks” in the heart of the Funk Zone, this place gets an A+ for funky ambiance and friendly staff. Red’s has an individual’s vision and personality written all over it, with eclectic art pieces, jewelry and purses for sale. Red’s serves lattes in handmade ceramic cups that are as individual as this fun new hangout. They also serve breakfast and lunch, as well as wines by the glass. This homey spot attracts an artsy neighborhood crowd that makes for interesting people watching. If only the chairs were a little more comfortable I would never want to leave.

Good Cup (1819 Cliff Dr.) – this coffee house reflects the upscale, healthy, family-oriented neighborhood the Mesa has become. In additional to first-rate coffee, they also offer gelato, smoothies, sandwiches and a great-looking quiche. The halo over the logo and the “good karma” tip jar gives you a taste of Good Cup’s spiritual bent. They offer a cool selection of things to buy with a bit of a new age/feminist bent, including a “smart women thirst for knowledge” cup and a Virgin Mary beach bag. The crowd is a mix of Mesa moms (think cute kids and Yoga pants), students and professionals from both the white and blue-collar crowd.

Best lattes

Northstar Coffee (918 State St.) – their foam is indeed a work of art. A little more expensive, but this is the place to go if you want to really treat yourself. Unfortunately, the decor is upscale generic and the place is mostly packed with tourists. Just close your eyes and pretend you’re in Italy.

Muddy Waters (508 E. Haley St.) – the service is “pierced and tattooed with attitude” and the decor is straight outta Santa Cruz, but the lattes are among the best in town. Not a bad people watching spot either.

Good strong, cups of Joe

Peet’s Coffee & Tea (3905 State St.) – Peet’s is almost a religion in the Bay Area, but here on the South Coast we tend to prefer our coffee with a little foam, and our coffee houses with a few more amenities, which is probably why there’s only one of the Peet’s chain in this area. The beans are excellent and other than at 8 a.m., there’s almost never a line.

Jeannine’s Bakery (1253 Coast Village Rd., 3607 State St. and inside Gelson’s at 3305 State St.) – also serves Peet’s coffee, along with the best carrot cake in town.

Santa Barbara Roasting Company (607 Paseo Nuevo and 321 Motor Way) – ROCO has gentrified its look with a new Paseo Nuevo store but the coffee still gets an old-school A+. It’s strong, hot and rich. On weekends I prefer the locals-only crowd on Motor/Lower State, which fills up with adorable young ballerinas (and their parents) from the nearby Gustafson Dance School.

Best ice blended drinks

The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf (3052 De la Vina St., 811 State St. and 5745 Calle Real) – this is where the iced blended mocha trend started and they still make the best. Plus, the staff on State Street is goofily friendly and the De la Vina and Calle Real chains are great places to run into old friends.

Best people watching and eavesdropping

Coffee Cat (1201 Anacapa St.) – it’s cattycorner from the courthouse and right across the street from the county staff offices. Need I say more?

Starbuck’s (1046 Coast Village Rd.) – the only place in town where you simultaneously see Hollywood types discuss the latest hot screenplay with the same passion that Westmont students discuss “the word.” For some strange reason, this Starbuck’s is also a great place to see unusual breeds of dogs.

Hot Spots Espresso Company (36 State St.) – not only is this the only 24-hour coffee house in town, it’s also a living, breathing student UN. Definitely the only place in town you can routinely hear French, German, Russian and Chinese spoken simultaneously.

Vices and Spices (3558 State St.) – one of the oldest coffee places in town, this is a great place to run into old friends and find out the latest San Roque gossip. People still play checkers, read books and write in journals here, as opposed to talking on their cell phones and scanning the headlines.

Friendliest service

Mojo Coffee (7127 Hollister Ave.) – When the Beacon was in Goleta, Mojo Coffee was right downstairs. I started every day with good Mojo thanks to the friendly smiles of Chris and his staff, the only college students without attitude in town.

Espresso Roma (1101 State St.) – while the one near De la Guerra Plaza has closed, the one near the Beacon is still thriving, thanks in part to the truly nice people that brew these beans. The staff is always ready with a smile, and a fast cup of good, strong, reasonably priced coffee. Plus they make their own delicious muffins, croissants and cookies and sell them for half price at the end of the day.

Starbuck’s (Five Points Center) – Starbuck’s coffee and the decor might be consistent throughout the known universe, but the staff in Five Points is truly a notch above the others in the chain. If only it weren’t so hard to park …

Best lunch

The Daily Grind (2001 De la Vina St.) – their sandwiches are delicious and big enough to split. They also make really good soups; don’t miss the chicken and dumpling. Goleta Coffee Company (177 S. Turnpike Rd.) has the same menu but the San Marcos High School crowd and strip mall location gives it a totally different vibe.

Best breakfast

Jeannine’s Bakery (1253 Coast Village Rd., 3607 State St.) – fabulous baked goods, impeccable presentation. They have a full, cooked breakfast menu, as opposed to just muffins and burritos, and the coffee’s pretty darn good too.

Neighborhoods most in need of a coffee house

Cabrillo Boulevard – it’s hard to believe that this tourist Mecca lacks even a Starbucks, but the closest coffee house is at Hot Spots on lower State.

Milpas Street – sure there are donut and bagel places, but there’s not a single coffee house to be found on this bustling street.

Westside/San Andres – another mixed use neighborhood without a coffee house.

Originally published in South Coast Beacon

We’ll save you money in 30 Steps

Follow these tips to keep money in your pockets

Who isn’t looking for ways to save some cash? Here’s a month’s worth of money-saving tips — some big, some not so big — to start developing good financial habits.

1. Pay off credit weekly. Credit-card companies accrue interest daily, so if the minimum amount due is $100, send $25 weekly instead of paying at the end of the month to save money on interest.

2. Claim the child tax credit on your return, advises Babytalk Finance Guide. Depending on your income, this credit can shave as much as $1,000 from your taxes.

3. Get a “family share” cell-phone plan. A regular 400-minute plan is about $40 a month, but share an 800-minute plan with your spouse for just $70 and you save $10.

4. Hector A. Jimenez of West Coast Mortgage recommends comparing points, costs and interest rates when refinancing. “You may have to pay a higher interest rate over the life of the loan if you get a ‘no point’ loan,” he said. “Always ask your broker if rebate pricing is involved on your loan.”

5. When searching for the cheapest airline tickets, shop early in the morning. According to Consumer Credit Counseling Service, most airlines and travel sites introduce their promotional fares in the middle of the night.

6. CCCS also suggests you consider adjusting your withholding allowances to cover what you owe and no more. The average income tax refund in 2003 was more than $2,000, so Uncle Sam got to use that $166 each month instead of you.

7. To shave years off of your mortgage and save thousands of dollars in interest, send in one extra principal payment each year, advises CCCS. Or, divide your monthly payment by 12, and add that amount to each payment, noting that it is for principal only.

8. Want to transfer your tax basis under Proposition 60, but the home you’re buying is more than your current residence? Jon Mahoney of Coldwell Banker suggests paying all or part of real estate commissions separately, thereby reducing the purchase amount. “This can save you thousands of dollars every year,” he said.

9. The online forum, wwww.savingadvice.com, recommends participating in a child-care flexible spending account if your employer has one. This is a special Internal Revenue Service account that allows you to set aside money for child-care expenses with pre-tax dollars.

To save money on college expenses, savingadvice.com offers these tips:

10. Although application deadlines for most college scholarships aren’t due until senior year, start searching for grants and scholarships freshman year. By finding potential awards when your child begins high school, he or she can choose classes and participate in activities that will provide a better chance of getting free cash.

11. Education IRAs (Coverdell Education Savings Accounts) are no longer just for college. You may contribute up to $2,000 a year per beneficiary, and the money may now be used for elementary and secondary school costs as well as college expenses.

12. Reduce your college expenses by earning as many college credits outside the classroom as possible. Advanced Placement tests, internships, public service and job- training programs are a few examples of ways you can trim tuition costs by earning college credit outside the classroom.

13. There are some 750,000 college scholarships available to qualified students. While many of these are financial need- and grade-based, many others aren’t. Don’t let household income or grades stop you from searching for scholarships.

14. You’re allowed to pay any amount for an unlimited number of people’s college tuitions — not room and board or school supplies — without owing any gift taxes. For the tuition payments to qualify, you must pay the tuition directly to the college.

15. Signing up for a 401(k)? “Be sure to review the company benefit, and if there is a match, contribute the full amount necessary to take full advantage,” recommended Rich Schuette, senior advisor for TS Capital Group. “If you don’t, it’s like leaving free money on the table and can cost you tens of thousands of dollars over your working career.”

16. Consider a high deductible health insurance plan if available and save the difference in premium into an HSA (health savings account), advises Schuette. The money is tax deductible and will grow tax deferred, giving you the possibility of paying for many medical needs with tax-free money.

17. If you own rental property, consider working for your own property management company and start an additional retirement plan for yourself, lowering your tax liability and growing your retirement assets, suggests Schuette.

18. Pat Veretto of Frugal Living recommends: “Raise your auto insurance deductible and your premium will drop. If you now have $100 deductible, raise it to $500 or even $1,000 if you can do it and your insurance company allows it. Put that amount in a savings account and leave it to earn interest. If you don’t have an accident, it’ll still be yours and you’ll be making a little money on it. Even if you do have an accident, you’ll have the money to pay up. You won’t have lost anything because the difference in the premium will probably already have made up for any amount you have to pay on your own.”

19. Go digital. If you take 48 pictures a month, a digital camera can save you $20 a month, plus you don’t have all those not-up-to-par prints sitting around in boxes.

20. If you don’t keep good records, you’re probably not claiming all of your allowable income tax deductions and credits, advises Deborah Fowles in Your Guide to Financial Planning. “Set up a system now and use it all year. It’s much easier than scrambling to find everything at tax time, only to miss items that might have saved you money.”

21. “You’ve probably heard of the famous real estate mantra ‘location, location, location,’ but do you know the financial mantra ‘tracking, tracking, tracking?’ It is the single most important thing you can do — and the first step — to put you in the driver’s seat of your own life,” according to Linda Starr of Budget-Tools-and-Tips.com.

22. You may lower the price of a round-trip airfare by as much as two-thirds by making certain you stay over a Saturday evening, and by purchasing the ticket in advance, recommends Starr.

23. In these days of rising gas prices, she also suggests you can save money on gas by keeping your engine tuned and your tires inflated to their proper pressure.

Don’t just look to the present when it comes to finance, Candace Bahr and Ginita Wall, authors of It’s More Than Money-It’s Your Life: The New Money Club for Women, advise teaching children about financial decision-making by:

24. Starting allowances early, around age 5 or 6. Don’t let your children get in the habit of asking you for cash rather than choosing responsibly how to save and spend their own money.

25. Teach children how credit cards work. If children know how the cards work before they get one, they may be able to handle the responsibility better than teens who get a card and know nothing about them.

26. Starting a family Money Club. Your older teens may benefit from being included in a Money Club where they can report to other family members about money issues and help make group decisions.

Save money at the grocery store with these tips from www.grocerysavingstips.com.

27. When a product is on sale like “two for $5” you can almost always purchase just one of the items for the sale price (which in this case would be $2.50). In other words, you do not have to purchase two, or three, or four, or whatever else the sale sign says.

28. Don’t be brand loyal. Try to buy only what’s on sale. Sometimes a name brand can even be on sale for the same price as the store brand, or less, so read those tags carefully.

29. If you have a magazine you tend to keep picking up each month while you’re at the grocery just subscribe to the darn thing and save yourself $20!

30. In case these financial tips are coming a little too late and you need to file for bankruptcy, Ira and Linda Distenfield recently published We The People’s Guide to Bankruptcy, which helps consumers file for bankruptcy as affordably and painlessly as possible, before new federal laws go into effect in October.

Beacon intern Katherine Manning contributed to this report.

Originally published in the South Coast Beacon.

Noozhawk Talks: Leslie Dinaberg Sits Down With Suzanne Farwell

Suzanne Farwell, LaraCooper / Noozhawk photo

Suzanne Farwell, LaraCooper / Noozhawk photo

As Director of Communications, Suzanne Farwell is often the voice for the Santa Barbara Foundation, connecting all of us with information about the good work the foundation is doing in the community. Farwell connects with Leslie Dinaberg
to reflect on her work and her life, as she prepares to retire later this month.

Leslie Dinaberg: What will you miss the most about your job at the Santa Barbara
Foundation?

Suzanne Farwell: The people I work with. One of the reasons I like working there is because I
work with people who are passionate about what they do and helping people.

…The other thing I really like about my job is it has so many facets where I’m
gathering information, so I’m learning about many different things every day. …
I’m learning about different philanthropic groups that pop up through us. It’s the
whole canvas of interesting wonderful things that are positive. …

LD: That’s great. In many ways I think Santa Barbara Foundation seems like an
ideal nonprofit job in that you would never get bored because you’re dealing with
so many different types of things.

SF: And now there’s the added component of a new boss who is coming in (Ron
Gallo replaced Chuck Slosser as CEO this year) with fresh ideas and that’s also
very exciting.

LD: So what made you decide to retire now?

SF: Well a couple of things. The major reason is my daughter has a little boy who
is 14 months old and he is a sweetheart and I don’t get to see him much. And my
son is getting married and in every family there needs to be someone at the
center who doesn’t necessarily actually need to do anything but who is that
center and there’s much I can’t do with this job. … I hope to do some projects for
the foundation that I am intensely interested in, and I’m still young enough to be
able to open my mind to lots of other things and who knows. I’m trying to have a
fertile ground and so as things pop up they take root. But I can’t open it up
without cutting back on the work. But it seems like a good time. I’m also looking
forward to spending more time with my husband at home.

LD: I would imagine that’s its very demanding work.

SF: It is, but that’s what good about it is I use every brain cell.

LD: I know you worked on a lot of great programs while you were at the Santa
Barbara Foundation, but are there any that are particularly near and dear to your
heart?

SF: The first year I was there we were about to celebrate the Foundation’s 75th
anniversary. So there was a book, a history book for the anniversary project to
coordinate and then there was a gala performing arts presentation at the Lobero.
That was fantastic. Then there was a symposium about the future of
philanthropy. That was all in one year. That was really something. …

I think one of my favorites was a book about the blind doctor, Dr. Pearlman. … A
little old lady comes to us and she wants to leave us a million dollars part of the
deal is that we publish her manuscript. Well, you can imagine a little old lady’s
manuscript. What will we do with that? Well, you read it and it turned out to be a
really compelling human story so we shepherded that project, we got a local
publisher; the whole thing was really heartwarming. And it’s always nice to have
tangible evidence of what you’ve done because most of mine is ephemeral.

LD: I’ve seen that project and it’s very, very cool.

SF: Yes, and the idea that we would be following through on the donor’s wishes
which is always very important. And it’s a book that opens people’s eyes to what
it is like to be blind as a society, as a world society we could all that to
understand what it’s like to be in someone else’s shoes.

… It’s fascinating. I get something out of every single project. I know the
foundation’s history better than anybody.

LD: Do you have any trips planned or any immediate plans as soon as you’re
done?

SF: Everybody asks me that. … My husband and I have traveled a lot and I just
plan to stay home for a while and just be there. I live in a wonderful place. I want
to just sit on the porch, watch the birds and just still the mind a little bit because
I’m always thinking about philanthropy and this and that and it’s going to take a
while for that to go away because I’m always going at 60 miles an hour.

LD: What else do you do like to do with your spare time?

SF: Well I love to read. I’ve also been a professional dancer for 30 years and I
still do it two or three times a month. I’ve been with Chef Karim since he
started.

LD: I didn’t know that.

SF: So that’s in my blood. And I love to move, so it would be fun to explore
different forms of dance. I don’t know it’s mainly a stilling of the mind to allow
other things to come up. It sounds like I’m not going to do anything.

LD: You need a break, that’s what it sounds like to me.

SF: So I’m opening doors and letting things in.

LD: How did you get started with belly dancing?

SF: My husband and I were living at Married Student Housing at UCSB because
we were both graduate students. I was getting my masters in French and he was
getting a PhD in counseling psych and a woman moved in who was a belly
dancer, new to town. He was dabbling in photography at the time, she needed
photos, so they made a deal. He said I’ll take photos of you and why don’t you
give Suzanne some lessons. I was very annoyed. I was not consulted. I was
almost insulted.

So I went and I took a couple of lessons and said this is really weird. But then my
teacher put on a show with three other dancers and I went and I was hit in the
head by a bat. That proverbial light bulb was like, ah, that’s what I want. Yes. I
want to be that person on the stage. Because it’s so alluring and beautiful and
that was it I set on a path and my poor husband never imagined that this would
happen. And it became overwhelming. It changed my life because I learned to
relate to people in a different way. I was very British at the time, very shy and I
learned to handle myself. I did Belly Grams for years where I would go to offices,
homes, wherever and do a ten minute dance and congratulate the birthday
person and whatever it was and so I was in mansions in Montecito, barbecues on
Milpas, offices all over, it was fantastic, so I got a look at America that I never
would have had, and it was for me about Americans. A great education… It’s
added a spark to my life.

LD: Keeps you in shape too.

SF: It does. And like anybody else I’ve had experiences and I’ve taken from them
and learned and it’s made me who I am today, and I hope to have many more of
them…

LD: How did you go from getting your masters in French and becoming a belly
dancer to working in the nonprofit world?

SF: I was a stay at home mom and I took that very seriously. I spent a lot of time
with my kids educating them in every way that I could. When our daughter, the
younger of the two, went to high school, my husband said, “well you know, this is
a good time to get a job.” I was panicked because I had not ever really, really had
a job.

I’d worked as a caterer for many years and I worked at Jane Fonda’s ranch. … I
applied for a job at the museum and they hired me and then I thought to myself
as I sat at the desk the first day, what am I doing. This could be the shortest job
in history. Then I calmed down and I just applied the idea that what would I want
to know being Jill Six Pack on the street, because I didn’t know that much about
the museum and I went on from there and it all worked out very nicely.

Vital Stats: Suzanne Farwell

Born: January 30, in London, England to a French mother and a British
father

Family: Husband Larry Farwell; two grown children, Nick, who lives in Seattle,
and Lara, who lives in Palo Alto; and a grandson, Bennett, 14 months.

Professional Accomplishments: Masters Degree in French; Chef/Caterer at Jane
Fonda’s Ranch; Worked in communications for Santa Barbara Museum of
Natural History; Voiceover Artist, now voices the calendar on KDB radio station;
Professional Belly Dancer; Director of Communications for the Santa Barbara
Foundation.

Best Book You’ve Read Recently: Kate Wilhelm’s “Barbara Holloway” series of
mysteries and Orson Scott Card’s “Ender’s Game” series.

Little-Known Fact: “I think I’ve exposed all of the little known facts. The dancing, I
don’t bring that out that much. They are really two separate things. When they
intersect it’s interesting, but it’s not the first thing out of my mouth.”

Originally published in Noozhawk on June 7, 2009. To read it there click here.

The gift of charity

anankkml, freedigitalphotos.net

anankkml, freedigitalphotos.net

It’s hard to avoid the symptoms. “I want that.” “Mommy/Daddy/Grandma, buy me this and this and this…”

Here are some ways to help prevent your child from coming down with an annual case of “the gimmes,” and maybe even provide a little bit of instruction about the true spirit of the holiday season.

Start in your coat closets. Pull out all the old coats your children have outgrown or you don’t wear anymore and take them to Casa Esperanza (816 Cacique St., 884.8481), Transition House (425 E. Cota St., 966.9668) or the Santa Barbara Rescue Mission (535 E. Yanonoli St., 966.1316).

Or better yet, get your friends in on the act and host a coat party. Have guests bring coats that are used but still in good condition. Put younger kids to work cleaning out pockets and using masking tape to mark areas that need to be mended or buttons that are missing. Help older kids sew buttons and do simple mending. Other kids can decide which coats might need dry cleaning and which are ready to go. It’ll be a celebration sure to give everyone a warm feeling.

Another variation of this is to have a food party. Ask your guests for canned food and have children help pack it up for the FoodBank of Santa Barbara County (4554 Hollister Ave., 967.5741). You also can host toy or book parties along the same lines.

Sponsor a needy child or family. Transition House has more than 130 children to be “adopted” this Christmas, said volunteer coordinator Xochitl Ortiz. Interested sponsors can call her directly at 966.9668 x115 to receive a wish list from a child or visit the shelter at 425 E. Cota St. and pick someone to sponsor from the “Giving Tree,” where ornaments list a child’s name, age, and wish for something he or she would like for the holidays.

“We can definitely use all the Secret Santas that we can get,” Ortiz said. “We have almost twice as many people as we did last year or the year before.”

For those unable to make two trips to Transition House and want to just buy a toy, Ortiz said popular requests this year are Bionicles, Hot Wheels, My Little Pony, Video Now Players and Cabbage Patch kids. Wrapping paper, tape and ribbon are also needed.

You can also sponsor an adult, “by maybe donating a gift card to like Macy’s so that they can get work clothes after the holiday sale,” said Ortiz. “We’re hoping to get everything in by Dec. 20, only because if someone doesn’t get adopted, it gives staff enough time to go out and shop for that family or that individual.”

The Salvation Army (4849 Hollister Ave., 964.3230 x13) also has a similar program, with about 120 more families waiting to be “adopted” for Christmas. Working from a “wish list,” sponsors buy each child in the family a new, wrapped gift, one clothing item for each member of the family and a food or grocery voucher for Christmas dinner.

“You can even request a certain age group of children and we’ll try and match it as closely as possible,” said Lt. Stacy Cross, who asked that all items be brought to the Salvation Army by Dec. 17. There are also “Angel Trees” (similar to the “Giving Trees” described above) at most of the Santa Barbara Bank & Trust branches, La Cumbre Plaza and toy drives at seven of the local Longs Drugs locations.

Another way to give to the Salvation Army is making cash donations to bell ringers. Young children enjoy putting coins in the kettle and it’s a good chance to explain to them that the money goes to help people who are less fortunate.

Laurie Jewell Evans suggested this is also a good opportunity to teach children about budgets. Decide how much money you will donate this year, then put that money into an envelope in small bills and coins and keep it in your purse.

“Then, every time my daughter and I pass a bell-ringer, she can take a coin or bill from the envelope and donate it, until all the money is gone,” she said.

Another way to donate your spare change is through San Marcos High’s annual Penny Drive to benefit Unity Shoppe. Canisters are located at most of the local schools. You can also drop off your dollars and cents at the South Coast Beacon, 15 W. Figueroa St.

Sometimes all it takes is just a reminder of just how fortunate we are to put the holidays into perspective for all of us. Ortiz shared this story from Transition House.

“It’s not an over the top Christmas … when it’s a family as a unit that’s homeless, it can become quite a hard time for them to have to spend at a shelter. The parents get depressed because they feel like they’ve failed. The kids feel discouraged because they have to go back to school and tell their friends what they got for Christmas and they’re worried they might not get anything. And a lot of them don’t tell their friends they are staying at a shelter.

“It’s a really tough time for them, so we try to alleviate that … we surprise them on Christmas morning with all of the gifts. … We can’t do it without the help from the community … as soon as they find out what we need, everyone’s so wonderful as far as being able to provide.”

Originally published in South Coast Beacon

Mixed Messages

Television by Salvatore Vuono (freedigitalphotos.net)

Television by Salvatore Vuono (freedigitalphotos.net)

Be careful — what your kids watch may be hazardous to their health and your wallet.

If TV is “chewing gum for the eyes,” as Architect Frank Lloyd Wright once said, it may be causing more than tooth decay in children — TV may also be making them fat, according to two new studies.

“The more than 1,000 hours that the average school child will spend in front of the television this year will harm him or her far more than the one second of Janet Jackson’s breast,” said TV-Turnoff Network Executive Director Frank Vespe.

The typical child sees about 40,000 ads a year on TV and the majority of ads targeted to kids are for candy, cereal, soda and fast food, a report by the Kaiser Family Foundation found. In addition, many of the ad campaigns enlist children’s favorite TV and movie characters — Spongebob Cheez-Its, Scooby-Doo Cereal, Teletubbies Happy Meals, to name a few — to pitch products.

Apparently the $12 billion per year spent on advertising to youth works. “Commercials make people want to buy things, like Cox high speed internet,” said 4-year-old Sophia Bordofsky.

Indeed, a series of studies examining product choices found that children recalled content from ads they’d seen, and their preference for a product occurred with as little as a single commercial exposure and grew stronger with repeated exposures, found a recent report by the American Psychological Association. The Kaiser study also found that exposure to food advertising affects children’s food choices and requests for products in the supermarket.

While there’s no doubt that advertisers are selling to children, not everyone is buying. Many parents restrict their children’s viewing. “They do have to do their homework first and they have to take turns picking a show,” said Misty Bordofsky, Santa Barbara mother of four children aged 4 to 13. “Usually they’ll leave the room and go do something else if it’s the show another kid picked,” she said.

Numerous parents may limit their children to watching videos and commercial-free television and a rare few don’t let their kids watch TV at all.

“I am appalled by marketing that targets children with ads for junk food and toys. Young children are not able to understand the inherent bias of an advertisement. They are easy targets,” said Charla Bregante, a Goleta mother of two who is in that 2 percent demographic that does not own a television.

“Most of the advertising during children’s programming is for junk food such as candy, chips, and sugared cereals. Kids are given the message that these foods are desirable and nag their parents to buy them. In addition, children tend to snack more while they are watching TV. Turning off the TV is one of the best ways to fight obesity in children. Almost any other activity will use more energy than sitting in front of a television,” said Bregante.

“While older children and adults understand the inherent bias of advertising, younger children do not, and therefore tend to interpret commercial claims and appeals as accurate and truthful information,” said psychologist Dale Kunkel, a professor of communication at UCSB and senior author of the APA report, which recommends restricting ads targeting children under the age of 8.

“I can tell you that my children rarely nag me for a specific toy or food item. I believe this is because they are not exposed to television advertising and the consumer culture promoted in television programming,” said Bregante, who encouraged families to participate in TV-Turnoff Week, April 19-25 (www.tvturnoff.org).

Is there anything positive for kids on television? Yes, according to Professor Kunkel: “There are lots of positive influences that may result from children’s viewing of certain pro-social or educational programs. The problem is that parents have to mine the media landscape pretty hard to find those occasional nuggets.”

Television is an (almost) inescapable part of modern culture. “With the recent explosion in satellite and digital specialty channels, we now have access to a plethora of both good quality and inappropriate TV content. In this crowded television environment, the key for parents is to search out high quality TV programs for their kids, and whenever possible, enjoy them together as a family,” recommends the Media Awareness Network, a nonprofit organization that focuses on media literacy.

For parents who don’t want to opt out completely, David Kleeman, Director of the American Center for Children and Media, recommends that parents ask the following questions to select viewing that is good for children:

Does the program actively engage my child, physically or intellectually? Television watching doesn’t have to be passive. It can prompt questions, kindle curiosity, or teach activities to pursue when the set is off.

Does my child see others like himself or herself on television? Young children believe that television reflects the real world. To not see people like themselves — in race, ethnicity, or physical ability, for example — may diminish their self-worth. A lack of role models should spark discussion about how TV portrays different types of people.

Do I respect this program? Parents don’t have to like every show their children choose — in fact, young people need their own district culture. But parents should trust that a program’s creators understand and respect how children grow and learn.

Originally published in South Coast Beacon