Photo KEKO64, freedigitalphotos.net
Over the years I’ve written a few books, oodles of magazine articles, countless columns and an amazing number of thank you notes, but until recently I had never, ever, ever written a recipe. In all honesty, I had hardly even looked at a recipe, let alone tried to follow one.
I know some people, like my mom or my friend Katie, who can take a few ingredients, some fresh vegetables, a pair of chopsticks, a pot and a few spices, and miraculously transform into Chef MacGyver, tossing and throwing and shaping and forming whatever’s in the cupboard into delicious concoctions.
I am not even remotely one of those people. In the past year or so I’ve mastered a couple of simple things and everyone is dutifully impressed, but still, my kitchen has seen more than a few fires in its day, and my most used “recipe card” has the phone numbers of all the local takeout places.
But then I got inspired.
I first read about the YMCA’s clever fundraiser a few weeks ago: the Soup de l’YMCA soup-making contest, where for a mere $25 donation contestants competed for bragging rights, having their recipe published in the Santa Barbara Independent and a place on the menu at State & A Restaurant. I was impressed by the creativity of the fundraising idea and figured I’d write a column to help them get more entries in the recipe contest. The Santa Barbara YMCA and I go way back.
I took gymnastics lessons there as a gawky, 5’8″ 12-year old, and realized that the distance from the top of the balance beam to the semi-padded floor mats was way too far to fall on a regular basis. But still, it was fun. And I displayed my participation ribbons proudly on my bulletin board.
Then I tried to use my height advantage and played basketball at the YMCA, soon realizing that, unfortunately, a certain amount of pesky running up and down the court was required, beyond my being able to reach the basket with my outrageously long arms. Still, I enjoyed the competition part and I still have a soft spot for the Y.
Wanting to give them some support, I read the contest rules carefully and found that all soup entries had to include at least one major ingredient that begins with one of these letters: Y-M-C-A.
Y-M-C-A, I just happened to have the perfect Y-M-C-A connection. My old friend Eric Anzalone is the Leather Guy in the Village People. Seriously. My old friend Eric Anzalone is the Leather Guy in the Village People. I had interviewed him once before and he was hilarious, in a way that only a guy you went to high school with who now wears leather chaps as his work uniform can be. So of course I jumped on the opportunity to do it again.
“What kind of soup would the Village People eat?” I asked, since it literally takes a village to raise enough money for youth programs these days.
“Well, we’re kind of boring,” said Eric, though I know he’s anything but. “Some of our favorite items we always ask for when we travel are REAL black licorice (not the cheap jelly bean anise stuff), Buffalo wings, anything from Taco Bell, the fettuccine Alfredo that you can only get at Alfredo’s in Rome (when we are in Rome, we always reserve a group table…we are on the wall of fame there).”
“I can’t really do much with Roman fettuccine, unfortunately. What else?” I asked.
“Cheetos, Cheez-Its, Bacardi and Coke, and Vegemite! And beer, a deli tray, assorted breads, fresh vegetables with dip, fresh fruit platter, coffee and assorted teas, hummus, Red Bull, beer, Gatorade, Coke (Coca Cola brand only) a case of beer, honey, mustard, mayo (Best Foods/Hellmann’s, not that Miracle Whip salad dressing), a box of Ziploc Baggies and barbecue ribs,” he said.
Sensing a beer theme -which is absolutely no surprise if you know Eric- I used that as my inspiration for my “It Takes a Village (People) Soup” recipe. Unfortunately with his busy international travel schedule (seriously, these guys sell out gigs all over the world, and sang and danced their way into the Guinness Book of World Records a few weeks ago, when it was finally certified that 40,148 adoring fans had performed the largest YMCA dance ever during the halftime show at the Brut Sun Bowl, in El Paso, Texas) by the time I actually did the interview and wrote the recipe, the contest deadline was upon us and my column deadline had come and gone.
I decided to enter my recipe into the contest anyway.
We laugh a lot at our house, but I have never heard a louder roar from my husband than when I got the message from Georgette at the YMCA that I was a finalist in the soup recipe contest. Except perhaps when I told my sister, who said, “Yeah right. And I’m going to compete in the spelling bee.”
Believe it or not (and yes, just writing this makes me giggle), there were more than six entries and my soup recipe made the top five finalists. The chef at State & A actually made it taste pretty good. By the time I tasted all five soups, had a few happy hour priced adult beverages, and endured the shock and mock surprised “this doesn’t taste half bad” feedback from my friends and family who had come out to support me at the contest, I actually thought I had about a one in five change of being the winner-especially since three of the four judges were personal friends.
I behaved like a good sport when poet Chryss Yost’s “Sopa de la Reina” took the top prize. It turns out she also knew some of the judges personally. And I guess she actually cooks, too.
Despite my bringing in an extra large group of family and friends to vote for me, Lisa Bull’s “Fiesta Chicken Tortilla Soup” won the “audience favorite” award for the night. “I think your soup was definitely third place, mom,” said my sweet son with the permanently damaged taste buds. “You got the bronze.”
Indeed, a bronze medal in my first plastic chef cooking competition is nothing to sneeze at. It was actually a lot of fun. I still need somebody to explain the joy of cooking to me someday, but the joy of competition, hey, that’s something I learned a long time ago at the local YMCA.
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It Takes a Village (People) Soup
Ingredients:
3 oz. Yellow Snow IPA (from Rogue Ales Brewery)
3 oz. Molson Golden Beer
3 oz. Coors Light Beer
3 oz. Amstel Light Beer
2 cups cauliflower
1 Tbsp butter
1/2 cup chopped onion
1 minced garlic clove
1 tsp Worcestershire sauce
14 oz. chicken broth
3 Tbsp cornstarch
1 cup cream
1 cup milk
2 cups shredded yellow cheddar cheese
Cook the cauliflower in a small saucepan with enough water to cover it, over medium heat until tender, 5 to 10 minutes. Drain.
Melt the butter in a large pot over medium heat. Add the onion, garlic and Worcestershire sauce. Stir occasionally and cook until the onion is tender and translucent. Add the beers and bring it to a boil.
Drink the remaining beer in each bottle and the warm soup aroma will start to smell delicious, in fact you’ll start to feel warm all over. Add the chicken broth and let it come back to a boil then stir in the cauliflower.
Combine the cornstarch and three Tbsp of water in a small bowl. Let dissolve and set aside. Stir in the cheddar and milk and cream into the soup until the cheese is melted. Add the cornstarch mixture and continue stirring until the soup thickens. Serve with Cheez-Its and, of course, beer.
