Cocktail Corner: Cajun Martini at the Palace Grill

A spirited toast to all things alcoholic!  By Leslie Dinaberg

Cajun Martini at the Palace Grill in Santa Barbara

Cajun Martini at the Palace Grill in Santa Barbara

It’s always Mardi Gras at the Palace Grill (8 E. Cota St., 805/963-5000), the closest you can get to New Orleans while staying in Santa Barbara. With Mardi Gras coming up on Tuesday, I’ll be getting into the spirit of things here in town with one of my favorite cocktails: “The World Famous Palace Cajun Martini.”

The first thing you need to know is that this puppy is strong.

Seriously strong. This is not a cocktail for wimps.

There’s a good reason why the Palace limits guests to just one Cajun Martini. Trust me, one is more than enough!  The vodka is chilled and marinated in the freezer with fresh Jalapeños and a kiss of Vermouth. Spicy hot, ice cold and strong, it’s a perfect accompaniment for the Cajun Crawfish Popcorn, which is so delicious that just typing those words makes my mouth water.

It’s served in a Mason jar, over ice, with a Martini glass and cherry peppers, so you can pour your own and pace yourself.

The food at the Palace has been consistently fabulous since they opened back in 1985. I’ve never had a bad meal there, and since I discovered the Cajun Martini, I’ve also never failed to order it.

Louisiana Bread Pudding Soufflé at the Palace Grill (courtesy photo)

Louisiana Bread Pudding Soufflé at the Palace Grill (courtesy photo)

If Martinis are not your thing, I hear from reliable sources that the Palace Caribbean Rum Punch is also very tasty.

The other thing I never fail to order at the Palace is the Louisiana Bread Pudding Soufflé. I don’t normally bother with desserts that aren’t chocolate, but this tasty blend of soufflé and bread pudding, laced with Grand Marnier and raisins, and served piping hot with whiskey cream sauce is amazing.  Trust me, this is one dessert that’s well worth the calories.

Don’t fret if you can’t make it to the Mardi Gras celebration this Tuesday. The Palace celebrates Fat Tuesday every Tuesday night with the lively accordion sounds of Michael Guttin and Mardi Gras beads for all (ask anyone who’s ever visited New Orleans what you usually have to do to get those).

P.S: If you do end up overindulging in Cajun Martinis, we’ve got four Cajun Kitchens in town with homemade biscuits and delicious country breakfasts to soak up that well-earned hangover. Cheers!

Click here for more cocktail corner columns.

Leslie Dinaberg

Leslie Dinaberg

When she’s not busy working as the editor of Santa Barbara SEASONS, Cocktail Corner author Leslie Dinaberg writes magazine articles, newspaper columns and grocery lists. When it comes to cocktails, Leslie considers herself a “goal-oriented drinker.”

Originally published in Santa Barbara SEASONS on February 8, 2013.

 

 

Cocktail Corner: A Bit of the Blarney About Dargan’s

Dargans (courtesy photo)

Dargans (courtesy photo)

A spirited toast to all things alcoholic!  By Leslie Dinaberg

Irish eyes are always smiling at Dargan’s, one of my favorite downtown pubs (18 E. Ortega St., 805/568-0702). Of course the place will be rocking this weekend in honor of St. Patrick’s Day, but it’s a great place to tipple any time of the year. Try a specialty pint, like the Black & Tan (3/4 Ale topped with a 1/4 “hat” of Guinness) or the Snakebite (1/2 Cider and 1/2 Harp); or choose from an impressive list of Irish Whiskeys, including Clontarf, Knappogue Single Malt and Tullamore Dew, along with all of the usual suspects.

Owned by third generation pub-meister Paul Dargan, who has mastered the art of keeping the atmosphere upbeat, casual and friendly, Dargan’s is a kid-friendly place to boot. Continue reading

Cocktail Corner: Cheers to Spring at the Ty Lounge

Four Seasons Biltmore's barrel-aged Negroni (courtesy photo)

Four Seasons Biltmore’s barrel-aged Negroni (courtesy photo)

A spirited toast to all things alcoholic! By Leslie Dinaberg

A great spot for cocktails just got even better. The Ty Lounge (at Four Seasons Resort The Biltmore Santa Barbara) has always been a beautiful place to drink in the priceless view of the Pacific, but now mixology pro and manager Chris Nordella has introduced a lively selection of spring cocktails.

Premiering for the first time is a barrel-aged Negroni, blended and barreled in-house by Nordella. The classic cocktail combines Plymouth gin, Campari and sweet vermouth, with all ingredients aged together in French Oak for six weeks. Other new handcrafted cocktails also take us on exotic journeys of taste, like the Sencha Caipirinha, Sencha green tea-infused Sagatiba Cachaca with lemongrass syrup and lime.

Ty Lounge at Four Seasons Biltmore (courtesy photo)

Ty Lounge at Four Seasons Biltmore (courtesy photo)

Then there’s the Macchu Pisco, with Barsol Pisco, Aperol, lemon juice, grapefruit juice and Kirschwasser, and the Rhubarbarita, mixing Patron blanco tequila with rhubarb puree, house-made grenadine, lemon and Grand Marnier. No one can seem to agree whether rhubarb is a fruit or a vegetable, but I’m guessing you won’t care much when you taste this delicious twist on a favorite Margarita.

Along with these fresh seasonal libations, executive chef Alessandro Cartumini has created a tasty new tapas menu for Ty Lounge. Selections favor the savory, including saffron paellacroquetas, patatas bravas, black mussels steamed in white wine with chorizo, and some heartier choices such as merguez sausage with piquillo pepper stew and marcona almonds.

 Ty Lounge's black mussels steamed in white wine with chorizo (courtesy photo)

Ty Lounge’s black mussels steamed in white wine with chorizo (courtesy photo)

There are also a handful of delicious new sweets, like the tarta Alicante, which features layers of almond sponge cake and lemon curd topped with meringue, and the borracho, which is “drunken” rum cake served with a milk chocolate cream and coffee sauce. Yum!

Playing off the Spanish influence of the Biltmore’s beautiful architecture, the revamped cocktail list also features two types of sangria (“it’s just a given when you think of tapas and sun,” says Nordella), as well as classic Spanish cocktails, cava and quality wines representing key Spanish varietals and growing regions.

Happy hour is every Monday – Thursday from 4–6 pm. Enjoy $5 off all menu cocktails, $2 off beers on tap, $7 appetizers and $8 featured wines by the glass. With Chris Fossek playing Spanish Guitar on Wednesdays, Lois Mahalia playing jazz on Fridays and a DJ on Saturdays, there are lots of great reasons to toast spring at the Ty Lounge these days. Maybe we’ll see you there. Cheers!

Click here for more cocktail corner columns.

Leslie Dinaberg

Leslie Dinaberg

When she’s not busy working as the editor of Santa Barbara SEASONS, Cocktail Corner author Leslie Dinaberg writes magazine articles, newspaper columns and grocery lists. When it comes to cocktails, Leslie considers herself a “goal-oriented drinker.”

Originally published in Santa Barbara SEASONS on March 22, 2013.

Cocktail Corner: Cheers to The Pan

Citrus & Spice Cocktail at The Pan (photo by Leslie Dinaberg)

Citrus & Spice Cocktail at The Pan (photo by Leslie Dinaberg)

A spirited toast to all things alcoholic! By Leslie Dinaberg

I’m a big believer that variety is the spice of life. If I could tipple “cocktail flights” for every happy hour and nibble appetizers for every meal, I would be doing a happy dance for the rest of my life.

I still haven’t found a place that has “cocktail flights” on the menu (sharing sips with friends is the next best thing), but I have found a great small bites place just a hop, skip and jump from the office: The Pan.

Located in the restaurant row at 18 E. Cota St., this retro cool place serves comfort food “tapas“: small plates of yummy favorites like chicken pot pie, truffle mac ‘n’ cheese, tater tots, cobb salads, mini burgers and more. The small plates and straightforward atmosphere make this a great place for families as well as anyone else who wants some light bites or a few different tastes to make a meal out of. Everything on the food side of the menu is between $3–$6, so it’s an easy decision to order a few things and share them.

Favorite small plates from The Pan include cheeseburgers, tater tots, chicken pot pie and cobb salad (photo by Leslie Dinaberg)

Favorite small plates from The Pan include cheeseburgers, tater tots, chicken pot pie and cobb salad (photo by Leslie Dinaberg)

This includes desserts. I don’t usually bother with anything that’s not chocolate, but the Apple Crisp at The Pan is just like how you wished your mama made it!

And of course—I probably should have said this first—the cocktails are fabulous. They have all the modern classics, including Old Fashioneds (featuring Bulleit Bourbon), Sazerac and the Dark and Stormy, among others. They also have a “healthy and organic menu” for cocktails, including Margaritas, Cucumber-Lemonade Chillers (with gin) and my personal favorite, the Citrus & Spice Cocktail featuring jalapeño-infused organic vodka (that counts as a vegetable serving, right?), King’s Ginger liqueur, organic fresh orange juice, grapefruit juice and passion fruit puree.

There is one downside to this place, however. It’s only open Thursday (5–10 p.m.), Friday and Saturday nights (both 6 p.m.–midnight).

Cheers!

Click here for more cocktail corner columns.

Leslie Dinaberg

Leslie Dinaberg

When she’s not busy working as the editor of Santa Barbara SEASONS, Cocktail Corner author Leslie Dinaberg writes magazine articles, newspaper columns and grocery lists. When it comes to cocktails, Leslie considers herself a “goal-oriented drinker.”

Originally published in Santa Barbara SEASONS on April 26, 2013.

Cocktail Corner: Wine and Cheese Please!

Cest Cheese (courtesy photo)

It’s not wine … but C’est Cheese is giving away a free cup of tomato soup with each grilled cheese sandwich on National Grilled Cheese Sandwich Day (April 12)

A spirited toast to all things alcoholic! By Leslie Dinaberg

I just returned from a lovely trip to Paris, where the wine is wonderful as well as less expensive than the coffee, and the cheese is nothing short of ambrosia.
I am a firm believer, as M.F.K. Fisher said, that, “Wine and cheese are ageless companions, like aspirin and aches, or June and moon, or good people and noble ventures.” Though my husband forbid me from filling our suitcases with Camembert, Reblochon and Tomme de Savoie (so I filled my belly instead), my appetite for cheese was not completely sated.

So I was thrilled to discover that today is National Grilled Cheese Sandwich Day. What better way to fight the post-vacation blues than to celebrate this traditional American treat and pair it with some of our favorite local wines?

Here are a few options: Continue reading

Cocktail Corner

A spirited toast to all things alcoholic!  By Leslie Dinaberg
(Here is my newest column which I write every Friday for Santa Barbara SEASONS Magazine.)

 

© Pac | Dreamstime Stock Photos & Stock Free Images

© Pac | Dreamstime Stock Photos & Stock Free Images

Popping the Cork for Mother’s Day

One of my favorite things about Mother’s Day is that it’s a terrific excuse reason to have Champagne for breakfast. Of course, you can do this anytime you want—and pretty, pretty please invite me over!—but on Mother’s Day, unless you’re visibly pregnant, no one looks at you strangely when you order a bottle of Champagne with your Eggs Benedict (which is a fabulous pairing, by the way). But here’s an even better reason to toast mom with some bubbly this weekend: new research has just come out that three glasses of Champagne a week can help to improve your memory!

Kentucky Derby Day Drinks

Early Times makes the official Mint Julep of the 2013 Kentucky Derby. (courtesy photo)

Early Times makes the official Mint Julep of the 2013 Kentucky Derby. (courtesy photo)

It’s Kentucky Derby time this weekend, and although all I know about the leaderboard is thatOrb is favored to win, I know enough about Kentucky Derby Day traditions to know whichever horse your money’s on, y’all should be cheering ‘em on with a Mint Julep.

Citrus & Spice Cocktail at The Pan (photo by Leslie Dinaberg)

Citrus & Spice Cocktail at The Pan (photo by Leslie Dinaberg)

Cheers to The Pan

I’m a big believer that variety is the spice of life. If I could tipple “cocktail flights” for every happy hour and nibble appetizers for every meal, I would be doing a happy dance for the rest of my life. I still haven’t found a place that has “cocktail flights” on the menu (sharing sips with friends is the next best thing), but I have found a great small bites place just a hop, skip and jump from the office: The Pan.

Cheers to Prosecco

OGIO prosecco (courtesy photo)

OGIO prosecco (courtesy photo)

I had my first taste of Prosecco just a few years ago, when a friend brought a bottle of Mionetto IL Prosecco to accompany our sushi at one of the summer concerts at El Capitan Canyon.  It was delicious, bubbly and tasted good with potato chips too.

Wine and Cheese Please!

I was thrilled to discover that today is National Grilled Cheese Sandwich Day. What better way to fight the post-vacation blues than to celebrate this traditional American treat and pair it with some of our favorite local wines?

KAPPA Krush (courtesy of KAPPA Pisco)

KAPPA Krush (courtesy of KAPPA Pisco)

Potions With Pisco Popping Up

I wasn’t too familiar with Pisco last fall, when someone gave me a bottle of KAPPA Pisco, a new Chilean Pisco from the House of Marnier-Lapostolle, producers of Grand Marnier. But since then, this exotic beverage has been showing up more and more.  Especially in Montecito, where it’s behind the bar at Cava Restaurant and Bar and the Biltmore’s Ty Lounge and on the shelves at The Bottle Shop, among others.

 

Cheers to Spring at the Ty Lounge

Four Seasons Biltmore's barrel-aged Negroni (courtesy photo)

Four Seasons Biltmore’s barrel-aged Negroni (courtesy photo)

A great spot for cocktails just got even better. The Ty Lounge (at Four Seasons Resort The Biltmore Santa Barbara) has always been a beautiful place to drink in the priceless view of the Pacific, but now mixology pro and manager Chris Nordella has introduced a lively selection of spring cocktails.

Dargans (courtesy photo)

Dargans (courtesy photo)

A Bit of the Blarney About Dargan’s

Irish eyes are always smiling at Dargan’s, one of my favorite downtown pubs (18 E. Ortega St., 805/568-0702). Of course the place will be rocking this weekend in honor of St. Patrick’s Day, but it’s a great place to tipple any time of the year.

A Bouquet of Orchid Cocktails

Black Orchid (courtesy photo)

Black Orchid (courtesy photo)

With the  68th Santa Barbara International Orchid Show coming up this weekend, a bouquet of orchid cocktails is certainly in order to celebrate this event.

Chuck's Famous Mai Tai (courtesy photo)

Chuck’s Famous Mai Tai (courtesy photo)

Chuck’s Famous Mai Tai

A lot of places slap the label “famous” onto a cocktail, but Chuck’s Famous Mai Tai is one “famous” libation that’s ready for a “legendary” label. It’s not quite as good as a trip to Maui, but it’s pretty darn close.

Red Carpet Cocktails

For those of us who won’t be at Hollywood’s Dolby Theatre this weekend, the competition for Oscar-inspired libations is every bit as fierce as the race for Best Picture. Here are some red carpet cocktails to make your home viewing party a hit!

How to Make a Sidecar with Rachel Maddow and Dita Von Teese

I love pretending I’m Rosalind Russell and ordering old-fashioned cocktails. Must be the journalist’s fascination with His Girl Friday. Phrases like, “How ’bout a Sidecar, doll face?” and “Gimme an Old Fashioned, the old-fashioned way,” just trill off the tongue, don’t they? Anyway, when I stumbled across this video of one of my favorite journalists—MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow—demonstrating how to make a Sidecar, I just had to share it.

Cajun Martini at the Palace Grill in Santa Barbara

Cajun Martini at the Palace Grill in Santa Barbara

Cajun Martini at The Palace Grill

It’s always Mardi Gras at the Palace Grill (8 E. Cota St., 805/963-5000), the closest you can get to New Orleans while staying in Santa Barbara.

The Antagonist at The Marquee

I’ve been really into sweet, hot and spicy cocktails recently and had a fabulously tasty one the other night at The Marquee. The Antagonist is made of chili-infused Absolut Vodka, white peach puree, mixed berry puree and pineapple juice.

Toasting the Film Festival

Even movie stars shine a little brighter when you give them a perfect cocktail. Since the stars will out in full force this week, here’s where I would take some of the Santa Barbara International Film Festival VIPs out for drinks.

Paradise Cafe Margaritas

My childhood smelled like Coppertone, my teenage years like Love’s Baby Soft, and my 20’s smelled like the Margaritas at the Paradise Cafe .

National Hot Toddy Day

It’s National Hot Toddy Day. A “hot toddy” is a warmth-inducing yummy drink made with honey, lemon, hot water, and the spirit of your choice (usually whiskey, brandy, or rum).

 

Alcazar's Heat of Passion cocktail. Courtesy Photo.

Alcazar’s Heat of Passion cocktail. Courtesy Photo.

The Heat of Passion at Alcazar

The sultry Heat of Passion is sweet, hot and spicy and certainly my favorite cocktail at the moment.

Simmering Sangria

Sangria is one of my favorite warm weather libations, but until our recent uber cold front (quite unusual for Santa Barbara) I had never thought about serving it warm.

 

Little red wagon takes the cake

Cake by Sarah Farmer of Sugar

Cake by Sarah Farmer of Sugar

Sarah Farmer delivers the baked goods in Big Apple exhibit

Launching imaginative voyages for boys and girls since 1917, and glorified in a 1992 movie, the ubiquitous little red Radio Flyer wagon chalked up another adventure recently. Local cake artist Sarah Farmer, of Sugar, relied on one in her journey to New York City’s Grand Central Station, where she was among the 50 leading sugar artists showing off their creations at the largest wedding cake event ever held.

Farmer said she was thrilled to be invited to the event, called Cakewalk at Grand Central, and hosted by Brides Magazine and Martini & Rossi, but getting her three-foot tall confection to New York was a challenge, to say the least. The stunning, complicated, Moroccan-themed wedding cake, inspired in part by Chef Karim’s Restaurant in Victoria Court, had its own airplane seat, but still had to be completely deconstructed for the trip.

Plus, the original vision of the two boxes in which the cake would travel had to be modified into three boxes at the eleventh hour.

“Then I had to figure out how to get these three boxes through the airport,” said Farmer, who credits local United Airlines staff members Tim Crews, Aaron Muller and Sean Russer with helping her — and her cake — make it safely to Grand Central Station.

And then there’s the little red wagon belonging to her daughter, Lily.

“It was a Radio Flyer that my sister had found on the side of the road … this beat-up thing covered with leaves and rust and sticks hanging off it, and I thought, that will work,” she said. “By the end of the trip I had named her Lucy, because I thought this is more than just a wagon, this is my personal assistant.”

Stretching the limits of her creativity is nothing new for Farmer. Along with partner Kirsten Soria, who is the baker half of the duo, they’ve created completely edible cakes that look like a Monopoly Game, Manolo Blahnik shoes, Academy Award statues, Santa Barbara’s downtown district, Michael Jackson and an exact replica of the Four Seasons Biltmore Resort.

“Every artist’s dream is to make a living doing what they love,” said Farmer, who studied illustration and design at the Fashion Institute before fate intervened and she began working with baked goods at Debbie’s Delights.

“For me, cakes are clay. Cakes are a canvas. Each one is a personal challenge to me to create something new and fantastic,” Farmer said. “Everything I have ever studied, painting, sculpture, graphic design, illustration, jewelry design, all comes into play when creating our cakes.”

In addition to the dozens of weddings, birthdays and events on the docket for Sugar, coming up soon is a Halloween photo shoot commissioned by Child Magazine. It’s a safe bet that whatever witchy creation Sugar comes up with will not only be incredibly clever, but extremely delicious as well.

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For more information visit, www.sugarcakes.com. Sugar is open by appointment only Thursday-Saturday. Call 683.5600 or 452.4659 to schedule a complimentary tasting.

Originally published in South Coast Beacon. Click here to read the story on that site.

Java Joys

Courtesy Daily Grind

Courtesy Daily Grind

Ah, that rich, strong aroma of coffee. For some of us it’s the only thing that makes getting out of bed worthwhile. Even if you’re more interested in soaking up the atmosphere than the caffeine, it’s fun to know the 411 on local coffee houses.

Here’s my two cents. I’m sure others will disagree, and I’d be happy to debate them, as long as it’s over a latte.

Best overall

Red’s (211 Helena) – the “anti-Starbucks” in the heart of the Funk Zone, this place gets an A+ for funky ambiance and friendly staff. Red’s has an individual’s vision and personality written all over it, with eclectic art pieces, jewelry and purses for sale. Red’s serves lattes in handmade ceramic cups that are as individual as this fun new hangout. They also serve breakfast and lunch, as well as wines by the glass. This homey spot attracts an artsy neighborhood crowd that makes for interesting people watching. If only the chairs were a little more comfortable I would never want to leave.

Good Cup (1819 Cliff Dr.) – this coffee house reflects the upscale, healthy, family-oriented neighborhood the Mesa has become. In additional to first-rate coffee, they also offer gelato, smoothies, sandwiches and a great-looking quiche. The halo over the logo and the “good karma” tip jar gives you a taste of Good Cup’s spiritual bent. They offer a cool selection of things to buy with a bit of a new age/feminist bent, including a “smart women thirst for knowledge” cup and a Virgin Mary beach bag. The crowd is a mix of Mesa moms (think cute kids and Yoga pants), students and professionals from both the white and blue-collar crowd.

Best lattes

Northstar Coffee (918 State St.) – their foam is indeed a work of art. A little more expensive, but this is the place to go if you want to really treat yourself. Unfortunately, the decor is upscale generic and the place is mostly packed with tourists. Just close your eyes and pretend you’re in Italy.

Muddy Waters (508 E. Haley St.) – the service is “pierced and tattooed with attitude” and the decor is straight outta Santa Cruz, but the lattes are among the best in town. Not a bad people watching spot either.

Good strong, cups of Joe

Peet’s Coffee & Tea (3905 State St.) – Peet’s is almost a religion in the Bay Area, but here on the South Coast we tend to prefer our coffee with a little foam, and our coffee houses with a few more amenities, which is probably why there’s only one of the Peet’s chain in this area. The beans are excellent and other than at 8 a.m., there’s almost never a line.

Jeannine’s Bakery (1253 Coast Village Rd., 3607 State St. and inside Gelson’s at 3305 State St.) – also serves Peet’s coffee, along with the best carrot cake in town.

Santa Barbara Roasting Company (607 Paseo Nuevo and 321 Motor Way) – ROCO has gentrified its look with a new Paseo Nuevo store but the coffee still gets an old-school A+. It’s strong, hot and rich. On weekends I prefer the locals-only crowd on Motor/Lower State, which fills up with adorable young ballerinas (and their parents) from the nearby Gustafson Dance School.

Best ice blended drinks

The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf (3052 De la Vina St., 811 State St. and 5745 Calle Real) – this is where the iced blended mocha trend started and they still make the best. Plus, the staff on State Street is goofily friendly and the De la Vina and Calle Real chains are great places to run into old friends.

Best people watching and eavesdropping

Coffee Cat (1201 Anacapa St.) – it’s cattycorner from the courthouse and right across the street from the county staff offices. Need I say more?

Starbuck’s (1046 Coast Village Rd.) – the only place in town where you simultaneously see Hollywood types discuss the latest hot screenplay with the same passion that Westmont students discuss “the word.” For some strange reason, this Starbuck’s is also a great place to see unusual breeds of dogs.

Hot Spots Espresso Company (36 State St.) – not only is this the only 24-hour coffee house in town, it’s also a living, breathing student UN. Definitely the only place in town you can routinely hear French, German, Russian and Chinese spoken simultaneously.

Vices and Spices (3558 State St.) – one of the oldest coffee places in town, this is a great place to run into old friends and find out the latest San Roque gossip. People still play checkers, read books and write in journals here, as opposed to talking on their cell phones and scanning the headlines.

Friendliest service

Mojo Coffee (7127 Hollister Ave.) – When the Beacon was in Goleta, Mojo Coffee was right downstairs. I started every day with good Mojo thanks to the friendly smiles of Chris and his staff, the only college students without attitude in town.

Espresso Roma (1101 State St.) – while the one near De la Guerra Plaza has closed, the one near the Beacon is still thriving, thanks in part to the truly nice people that brew these beans. The staff is always ready with a smile, and a fast cup of good, strong, reasonably priced coffee. Plus they make their own delicious muffins, croissants and cookies and sell them for half price at the end of the day.

Starbuck’s (Five Points Center) – Starbuck’s coffee and the decor might be consistent throughout the known universe, but the staff in Five Points is truly a notch above the others in the chain. If only it weren’t so hard to park …

Best lunch

The Daily Grind (2001 De la Vina St.) – their sandwiches are delicious and big enough to split. They also make really good soups; don’t miss the chicken and dumpling. Goleta Coffee Company (177 S. Turnpike Rd.) has the same menu but the San Marcos High School crowd and strip mall location gives it a totally different vibe.

Best breakfast

Jeannine’s Bakery (1253 Coast Village Rd., 3607 State St.) – fabulous baked goods, impeccable presentation. They have a full, cooked breakfast menu, as opposed to just muffins and burritos, and the coffee’s pretty darn good too.

Neighborhoods most in need of a coffee house

Cabrillo Boulevard – it’s hard to believe that this tourist Mecca lacks even a Starbucks, but the closest coffee house is at Hot Spots on lower State.

Milpas Street – sure there are donut and bagel places, but there’s not a single coffee house to be found on this bustling street.

Westside/San Andres – another mixed use neighborhood without a coffee house.

Originally published in South Coast Beacon

What’s cooking? As little as possible.

Photo by imagerymajestic, freedigitalphotos.net

Photo by imagerymajestic, freedigitalphotos.net

Culinary talent comes naturally for some people. They take a few ingredients, a plastic fork, a stove on its last legs and a flour sifter, then miraculously transform into MacGyver, tossing and throwing and shaping and forming ordinary things like milk, pepper and eggs into delicious concoctions.

My mom is kind of like that. I’ll look in her cupboards and find nothing worth eating, yet somehow, 10 minutes later, she’s created a feast out of thin air.

I didn’t exactly inherit that domestic goddess gene. It’s not that I don’t try. But my kitchen has seen more than a few fires in its day, and the most used “recipe card” from my wedding shower has the phone numbers of all the local takeout places.

But it’s not my fault. I think the cooking gene skips a generation.

My Grandma Sylvia was such a bad cook that she would often throw away an entire dinner she had made when my Grandpa came home from work and didn’t like the looks of it and suggested they go out to eat.

Consequently, my mom is a great cook. I’m sure she learned this as a defense against her own mother’s scorched casseroles and burnt briskets.

Try as I may, despite the scorch marks on my ceiling, I just can’t get all that fired up about cooking. What’s the point of spending hours chopping and grating something that will be gone in minutes? I suppose it would be nice, every once in a while, to take something to a potluck that wasn’t directly from Trader Joe’s, but frankly, I’ve got a lot more important things on my “to do” list.

Grandma Sylvia’s the one I take after. She would have loved Trader Joe’s. Back in her day there were no microwaves, and Ragu was the cutting edge in convenience foods. Grandma’s favorite cookbook (aside from the yellow pages, to make dinner reservations) was Peg Bracken’s “I Hate to Cook Book.”

I remember the dog-eared copy of the “I Hate to Cook Book” sitting on her counter between the flour and the sugar canisters, and the cookie jar filled with her favorite Pepperidge Farm Chessmen cookies. Who says you have to actually bake cookies to have your larder stocked?

“Some women, it is said, like to cook,” the book began. “This book is not for them.”

An advertising copywriter by day, Peg’s recipes always made good reading, even for someone like me, who had no intention of actually turning on the oven. Her recipes were for things like “Aggression Cookies,” which called for vigorous kneading, mashing, squeezing and beating, offering an opportunity for “channeling some energies away from throwing bricks.”

Another favorite was “Skid Road Stroganoff,” which called for you to add flour, paprika and mushrooms to the beef and noodles while you “light a cigarette and stare sullenly at the sink.” There was also “Stay Abed Stew,” where you mixed a bunch of stuff together and put it in the oven where it would “cook happily all by itself and be done in five hours” while you went back to bed.

Now that’s my kind of cooking.

Peg wrote for reluctant cooks like my Grandma and I, who knew that some activities-such as childbirth, paying taxes and cooking- “become no less painful through repetition.” Her book, she wrote, was “for those of us who want to fold our big dishwater hands around a dry martini instead of a wet flounder.”

Many of her instructions called for alcohol, often suggesting that it bypass the cooking process entirely and proceed straight down the cook’s throat.

That’s the point in the meal preparation process where I used to pull out my handy dandy recipe card and call for pizza delivery. I don’t do that anymore-I’ve got the number memorized. But, just like Grandma, I’m still game if my husband decides he wants to go out to dinner instead.

Her family would be eternally grateful if you can explain the joy of cooking to Leslie by emailing Leslie@LeslieDinaberg.com. For more columns visit www.LeslieDinaberg.com. Originally published in the Santa Barbara Daily Sound on January 20, 2012.

Tiptoeing into a minefield

Photo by Leslie Dinaberg

Photo by Leslie Dinaberg

Tipping may not be a city in China, but it sure feels like I’m in foreign territory when I get out my wallet. I understand restaurants, but everything else feels a little like…well, China.

Hairdressers and hotel maids are confusing enough, but those ubiquitous countertop jars really get on my nerves. Especially the ones with passive- aggressive little sayings like “Support Counter Intelligence” or “Fear Change? Leave it Here.”

In some cases, like when I order my latte, I’m giving a tip with no guarantee of even getting my coffee, let alone having it served in an efficient and friendly manner. It’s a pre-tip.

I feel guilty not leaving anything, but I feel violated leaving a dollar pre-tip on an already overpriced $5 cup of coffee.

Especially if it’s cold.

If I do decide to leave a pre-tip, it’s more of a reflection on whether or not I’m having a good hair day, a happy bank account day or a right amount of caffeine day, than it is a reflection on the actually quality of service rendered.

But what am I going to do if the service is bad? Fish my dollar out of the jar? Heaven forbid the barista, or the people in line that I don’t know and will probably never see again, might think I was crazy, or worse yet – cheap!

My discomfort with tipping goes back to my Grandpa Jules, who, upon being seated at a restaurant, used to put an enormous pile of bills on the table and tell the server, “I will guarantee you this tip if the service is perfect, but every time you make a mistake I’m going to take some money away.”

Nothing like having a guarantee that your food will arrive to your table swimming in spit. Yum. It’s no wonder that my sister and I feigned illness before going out to dinner with him, and afterward actually became ill from the combination of embarrassment and server saliva.

Mind-boggling revenge fantasies are being played out in restaurant kitchens every day. If you don’t believe me, check out the war stories on www.stainedapron.com or www.bitterwaitress.com. There is even something I’ve long-feared, but never had proof of until now: the “Sh*tty Tipper Database.”

I knew it!

I remember being taught as a kid (by my other Grandpa, Alex) that tip stood for “to insure promptness,” and 15 percent was what you tipped for good service, while 20 percent was what you gave for excellence.

If the “18 percent gratuity added” line on the bill from a recent dinner with “a party of six or more” is any indication, my Grandfather’s relatively simple calculations have now gone the way of the 4.0 straight A grade-point- average.

In case you need to know what to tip the cabin steward on your next transatlantic cruise, or the Keno runner on your next tip to Vegas, there are tipping guides galore-including a bunch of apps–but is there anyone who isn’t confused about tips when you’re picking up takeout? Especially when you’re paying by credit card in a place that normally has table service?

The cashier is staring at you, and so is that empty tip line, just waiting to be totaled. You’d feel like a real jerk if you zero it out, but it seems ridiculous to give more than a dollar or two to someone who took a bag and walked it from the kitchen. Yet a dollar feels like an awfully small tip on a $27 meal. Yet if you figure out how many words you had to write just to earn that dollar, and then you think about the poor cashier, who probably gets paid minimum wage and is sending money home to her family in China … well, it’s enough to make you want to move to China.

I hear that real estate is cheap in the city of Tipping, which according to my Atlas is perched on the riverbank of Denial.

Share your tips-or additions to the Sh*tty Tipper Database-with email. For more columns visit www.LeslieDinaberg.com.  Originally published in the Santa Barbara Daily Sound on January 6, 2012.