Tackling the Season Like a Man

Portrait Of Beautiful Woman Wearing Santa Claus Hat by David Castillo Dominici, freedigitalphotos.net

Portrait Of Beautiful Woman Wearing Santa Claus Hat by David Castillo Dominici, freedigitalphotos.net

One of the best pieces of advice I ever got was from my friend Ramey: “If you don’t want to be the only one doing all the work then you have to let other people do stuff using their own standards–no matter how crappy or inferior they may be.”

She was talking about diaper rash and Desitin, but over time I’ve found that her advice applies almost everywhere from the schoolyard and the soccer field to the domestic front and delegating at work.

You can explain it by whatever nature versus nurture notion noogles your noggin, but the fact is that men are overwhelmingly better than women are at letting go of perfectionism. They don’t really notice–or if they do, they certainly don’t care about–that pile of laundry waiting to be folded on the couch. It’s simply an obstacle to sit upon or pushed aside in their quest to find a place to rest their fatigued fannies after a hard day’s work.

They aren’t the least bit disturbed if the dinner table lacks floral finery, or even utensils, as long as there’s an ice-cold beer at their fingertips. They may be masters of their domains, but most of them have absolutely no interest in anything resembling a throw pillow, quilt or home decor accessory (unless it comes in HD and surround sound).

And as for calendars, schedules and to-do lists? Forget about it. Somehow it’s more manly to store things “in your head,” despite the sometimes sieve-like filter associated with this system.

Let’s face it, there are a lot of things that men simply don’t care about and thus they don’t stress about. As hard as it is for me to admit it, I think they may be on to something, especially when it comes to the holidays.

Have you ever in your life met a man who felt guilty when a caring neighbor brought over a homemade dish of goodies and he didn’t have a lavish platter at the ready to gift them in return?

Have you ever heard of a man stalking the aisles of an all-night drug store after midnight because the five shades of curling ribbon he has at home are just not “quite the right red?”

You don’t see men stressing about losing weight to fit into a cute new outfit for the company’s holiday party or going to 17 different stores to find the perfect Secret Santa Gift for the receptionist in their office who won’t even know it’s from them.

Nope, men don’t take it as their seasonal call of duty to personally manufacture every bit of holiday magic that comes into their household. For the most part, whether the laundry is waiting to be folded or not, they sit on the couch, relax and enjoy the spirit–and spirits–of the season.

Which is why this year I’m going to try to take the holidays like a man by relaxing the perfectionism, kicking back and enjoying them.

I hope you’ll do the same.

When Leslie’s not obsessing about not obsessing about her holiday to-do list, she can reached at Leslie@LeslieDinaberg.com. For more columns visit www.LeslieDinaberg.com.  Originally appeared in the Santa Barbara Daily Sound on December 10, 2010.

From Yiddish to Yinglish

YiddishDictionaryOnline.com

YiddishDictionaryOnline.com

When it comes to traditional religion, I’ll readily admit that I’m more Jew-ish than Jewish. You won’t find me in temple unless there’s a Bar mitzvah or a book signing, and I’m certainly not one to pass up an offering of bacon-wrapped shrimp. They’re delish!

But there’s one part of Jewish cultural tradition–besides the latkes–that I have embraced with gusto: the language.

No, I’m not talking Hebrew, which is way too complicated and confusing for the short attention span theater of my brain these days. I get a case of Hanukkah guilt before the gelt every year when need a refresher course on the dreidel symbols.

No, I’m talking Yiddish. And whether you realize it or not, so are you.

You may not be one to just say nu to your kids. (A general word that calls for a reply. It can mean, “So?” “Huh?” “Well?” “What’s up?” or “Hello?” It’s like a verbal grunt, useful in a variety of situations.) And you may not kvetch about your boss. (Which literally means “to press or squeeze,” like a shoe that’s too small, but many people now also use it to mean, “complain, whine or fret.”)

You may not even schmear your bagel. (Which originally referred to a spread of cream cheese on a bagel but has extended to anything that can be spread, and in some cases refers to “an entire set or group of related things”, or the expression “the whole schmear.”) But from schmear to eternity, I’d bet my last bit of gelt (a Yiddish word for money, and for the chocolate coins eaten on Hanukkah by some and year-round by those of us that frequent See’s Candy) that words like glitch?(literally “slip,” “skate,” or “nosedive,” which many people now use to mean “a minor problem or error”) or zaftig (plump, but pleasantly so) have crossed your lips from time to time.

You’re speaking Yiddish and you don’t even know it.

Not to belabor my spiel?  (a long, involved sales pitch), or act like a maven ?(which comes from the Hebrew “mevin,” or “one who understands,” but has evolved to mean a know-it-all, and is often used sarcastically) of Yiddish vocabulary, but I’d bet you also use the words klutz?(which literally means “a block of wood,” but is often used for a dense, clumsy or awkward person) and nebbish (an insignificant, pitiful person; a nonentity) without giving them a second thought.

You’re a Yinglish speaker too.

I really don’t mean to be a noodge (to pester, nag, whine or be a pest or a whiner) about this, but chances are good that even somewhat vulgar Yiddish words like dreck (which means worthless material, especially merchandise) and tush (buttocks, bottom, rear end) have crossed your lips from time to time.

So here’s my Hanukkah gift to you: the next time someone asks you if you speak a second language you can tell them you are fluent in Yinglish and you do know more than bupkis (zero, or nothing) about Yiddish.

Share your Yiddish or Yinglish vocabulary words with Leslie@LeslieDinaberg.com. For more columns visit www.LeslieDinaberg.com. Originally published in the Santa Barbara Daily Sound on December 3, 2010.

Gratitude Minus Platitudes

Thank You Computer Key by Stuart Miles, freedigitalimages.net

Thank You Computer Key by Stuart Miles, freedigitalimages.net

“Being grateful may be the spiritual equivalent of Prozac,” according to Dr. Robert Emmons. I couldn’t agree more, which why I’m grateful that it’s almost Thanksgiving time.

Thanksgiving has always been one of my favorite holidays, right up there on the list with National Chocolate Day and the day the clocks “fall back” and we get an extra hour of sleep.

Any day stuffed full of food, family, friends and football is a good day in my book.

But I’ve counted my blessings in this column a few times and realized they don’t really change all that much from year to year, which is a good thing. I am eternally grateful for all of the wonderful people and gifts in my life, but this Thanksgiving I decided to see what some other people are grateful for.

By other people I mean some really famous people–and some not–whose quotes about gratitude might make you smile a little brighter as you toast the turkey this Thanksgiving.

Like Ricky Gervais I am grateful for pajamas, which are certainly handy to squeeze into once you’ve unzipped your pants after a hearty Thanksgiving meal. He says, “I’ve started wearing pajamas out, because they’re more comfortable than trousers. I started out with jeans, then went to sweatpants about ten years ago. Now it’s just pajamas. I’ve gone whole hog. I wore them to the White House.”

“I am grateful that there is life out there for someone who isn’t a scholar,” says Jamie Lee Curtis. “I wear my combined 760 SAT scores like a medal around my neck that ANYONE can make it despite being a round, square, gay, alcoholic, liberal, pampered peg in the proverbial square hole of what is the norm.” Of course having two movie star parents doesn’t hurt, but I get where she’s coming from and am happy to offer a holiday cheer to misfits everywhere.

“Though I am grateful for the blessings of wealth, it hasn’t changed who I am. My feet are still on the ground. I’m just wearing better shoes,” says Oprah Winfrey, who admitted her shoe addiction to a live TV audience but regrettably still hasn’t invited me into her walk-in (and probably bigger than my whole house) closet.

“I figure if I have my health, can pay the rent and I have my friends, I can call it ‘content,'” says one of my favorite actresses, Lauren Bacall, who is still smoldering at 86.

And finally, some wise words from the Buddha: “Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn’t learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, at least we didn’t get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn’t die; so, let’s all be thankful.”

Cheers to that and have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

When Leslie’s not counting her blessings, gobble by gobble, she can be reached at Leslie@LeslieDinaberg.com. For more columns visit www.LeslieDinaberg.com. Originally appeared in the Santa Barbara Daily Sound on November 19, 2010.

My Holiday Calendar

Image courtesy of [image creator name] / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of  / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

When I was a kid Halloween was by far the wackiest holiday we had. Adults were actually giving us candy for starters, not to mention letting us stay up late, wear makeup and run screaming down the street. How could you not love a holiday like that?

Halloween is still one of my favorites.

It’s unpredictable. How else would you ever know that your staid insurance agent had a slutty nurse fantasy or that your rowdy next door neighbor has secretly always wanted to be a nun?

If you’re lucky you get to do the Monster Mash at a party where dastardly drinks, murderous martinis, and creepy cocktails are served. Plus there’s no cooking involved and plenty of chocolate. What’s not to like?

While Halloween once undoubtedly wore the holiday crown with pride, a bunch of new holidays have since cropped up. Rather than try to keep up with all of them-there are hundreds and it’s so hard to know what Hallmark and the rest of the cool kids will be celebrating by 2020-I’ve decided to do you a favor and provide you with my very own hand-selected list of favorites.

For example, I bet you don’t know that November 1, the day after Halloween, is not just Why They Call That Hangover Cocktail a Bloody Mary Day but also the Third Annual Give Up Your “Shoulds” Day. According to founder Damon L. Jacobs, for this one day we are invited to “give up a certain ‘should’ that leads to stress, guilt, misery, or any sort of sadness.” Last year people gave up “shoulds” like “I should clean the house,” “I should go to the gym,” “I should be making more money” and “I should stop eating all of the leftover Halloween candy.”

I’m not too sure about celebrating “Give Up Your Shoulds” Day, first because I would never give up candy on principle, and second, because if I gave up “shoulds” I fear it “would” leave me with nothing to talk about.

I would, however, definitely like to celebrate Cookie Monster Day on November 2, which I hope is brought to you by the letter “C” for chocolate chips. We’ll be celebrating at our house, in case anyone wants to stop with by with a batch of the white chocolate macadamia nut kind.

Stay Home Because You’re Well Day (November 30) also has potential-not that I would ever do that, boss-as do National Chocolate Covered Anything Day (December 16), No Interruptions Day (December 31) and National Compliment Day (January 24).

Of course I can’t leave out my favorite Seinfeld holiday Festivus, “for the rest of us,” featuring an undecorated aluminum pole in place of a Christmas tree and an “Airing of Grievances,” where everyone gets to air out their grudges and bitterness toward each other. Don’t you just love family traditions?

I’d certainly like to make Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day (January 31) one of our traditions; especially if the bubble wrap is wrapped around that new Mac Laptop I’ve had my eye on.

For February we’ll be celebrating Spunky Old Broads Day (February 1), which kicks off Spunky Old Broads Month. There’s also Laugh and Get Rich Day on February 8th and Read in the Bathtub Day on February 9th, both worthy activities for this spunky old broad.

I’m also looking forward to Barbie Day on March 9th, Potato Chip Day on March 14th and National She’s Funny That Way Day on March 31st.

In April there’s Tangible Karma Day on the 2nd, National Deep Dish Pizza Day on the 5th and Talk Like Shakespeare Day on the 23rd. In May we’ve got National Two Different Colored Shoes Day on the 3rd, Respect for Chickens Day on the 4th, National Day of Reason on the 5th (where I reason I’ll have a couple of margaritas out of respect for Cinco De Mayo), Tuba Day on the 6th and Free Comic Book Day on the 7th. So much to celebrate. Thank goodness I get that week off for the holidays.

Next it’s time to do Do-Dah Day (June 4), Upsy Daisy Day (June 8), Please Take My Children to Work Day (June 27) and National Columnists Day (June 28) one I’m sure you’ll all be celebrating by sending me chocolate samples so I can write about my favorites for National Chocolate Day (July 7). July also brings SCUD (Savor the Comic, Unplug the Drama) Day on the 8th, Embrace Your Geekiness Day on the 13th and National Talk in an Elevator Day on July 29th.

Crackers Over the Keyboard Day is August 28th and the 30th is National Toasted Marshmallow Day. September is my birthday month, so of course we’ll all be celebrating all month long and through the first couple of weeks of October. Then we’ve got National Chocolate Cupcake Day on the 18th, iPod Day on the 23rd, World Psoriasis Day on the 29th and before we know it, Halloween will be here again.

I’d better go get my costume ready.

When Leslie’s not plotting her holiday celebrations, she can be reached at Leslie@LeslieDinaberg.com. For more columns visit www.LeslieDinaberg.com. Originally published in the Santa Barbara Daily Sound on October 29, 2010.

Peace Love Dirt

Courtesy Live Oak Music Festival (Instagram)

Courtesy Live Oak Music Festival (Instagram)

Welcoming summer at Live Oak Music Festival

The salty smell of Coppertone. A colorful explosion of tie-dyed t-shirts and low-backed beach chairs. A cacophony of live music out in the sun and under the stars. That first sip of an ice cold Cadillac Margarita where the sweet kiss of Grand Marnier meets the sour tang of lime-laced tequila. Summer has finally arrived and I couldn’t have conjured up a better place to greet it than the Live Oak Music Festival.

Believe it or not, this was my first journey to this timeless spot, nestled in the peaceful Santa Ynez Valley, just minutes away from my Santa Barbara home, but worlds away from my fall-winter-springtime life in the carpool lane.

I know it seems like an oxymoron to say that a live music festival featuring a kaleidoscope of sounds ranging from traditional folk, bluegrass, gospel, to blues, jazz, classical, pop, world music and pirate aurghs could actually be peaceful, but somehow this one was.

Unlike some of the musical festivals I’ve been to in recent years, at Live Oak there was no mosh pit to fear, no skunkweed stink and no stale beer spills to accidentally step into. It was just an eclectic mix of great opportunities to hear, make and learn about music in a pleasant atmosphere alongside a community of several thousand genuinely friendly people relaxing and enjoying themselves. What a great way to welcome the summer.

No wonder people have been coming back here for 22 years.

It was Rickie Lee Jones who finally lured us to Live Oak. I was first introduced to her spacey, jazzy, sad chick sounds when I was in college, and thought “We Belong Together” was the most romantic song on earth. I still can’t resist Johnny the King walking in the streets without her in the rain looking for a leather jacket and a girl who wrote her name forever.

Her “Flying Cowboys” CD tunefully distracted me while her album of standards (“Pop Pop”) amused me through my commute during my driving years of living in Los Angeles. Zak was a fan too. We’d seen Rickie Lee Jones perform half a dozen or so times over the years, mostly in dark, smoky clubs, so we jumped at the chance to see her outside under the giant oak trees. The fact that it was Father’s Day was a bonus, as the rest of my family (and a few friends) jumped at this unique way to celebrate the holiday.

As usual, she didn’t disappoint. The sound was great, the setting unparalleled and I still love her music just as much as I did the first time I heard it.

I didn’t have any idea what to expect from the rest of the artists and was happily surprised. Starting with the high energy antics of Baka Beyond, who fuse African music from the Cameroon rainforest with Celtic fiddling, and sing about things like peace and porridge. Then there was the amazing jazz organist Dr. Lonnie Smith, who you really have to see-and hear-to believe; followed by the folksy rock tunes of Josh Ritter, an indie artist who is making a dent in the mainstream big-time, having recently been discovered and marketed by Starbucks.

They were all enjoyable but I have to say I took as much pleasure in people watching as I did the music.

Where else can you see (and Solstice doesn’t count) an absurdly fun parade led by an octogenarian Grandma in a purple tutu; a tribe of Zinka-nosed surf rats; a blissed-out hippie swaying to a tune that only he can hear; a weathered cowboy hosing down the dusty path as a bevy of tiny fairies hand out wishing dust; joined by a 50-ish brunette with a stylish haircut, Prada shoes, and a pair of ladybug wings and a yupped-out backpacker couple loaded down with the entire REI catalog worth of coolers and chairs?

My son liked playing soccer the best and I think my dad enjoyed his nap, so three generations of our family and friends all found something to like under the giant oaks this Father’s Day.

“This is a really cool thing. We should do it again next year,” said my mom, smiling and passing some more food. I couldn’t agree more.

What signals summer to you? Email Leslie@LeslieDinaberg.com. For more columns visit www.LeslieDinaberg.com. Originally published in the Santa Barbara Daily Sound on June 25, 2010.

Ho Ho Holiday

‘Tis the Season in Santa Barbara

By Leslie Dinaberg

Say bah, humbug to the snow. Our warm-weather winters offer plenty of opportunities to fill your calendar with holiday cheer. Whether you’re looking for glittering lights, glitzy trees and glow-in-the-dark Santa Clauses, or more refined merry making, here are some of our favorite ways to celebrate the season, Santa Barbara style.

Historic Casa del Herrero’s Holiday-Themed Tour

Step back in time to the 1930s and enjoy the ambiance of Casa del Herrero (House of the Blacksmith), one of the finest examples of Spanish Colonial Revival Architecture. Reservations are a must for the special holiday-themed tours featuring classically elegant holiday decorations and special refreshments, alongside this historic landmark Andalusian-style country house and its lavish grounds and gardens.

Wednesdays, Fridays and Saturdays, December 9,11,12,16,18 and 19th at 10 a.m. and 2 p.m. Tickets are $20. Children 10 and over are welcome. For reservations call (805) 565-5653 or email casatour@silcom.com. 1387 East Valley Road, Montecito. www.casadelherrero.com.

Holidays at the Historic Stow House Ranch

The Stow House, dating back to 1873, will be dressed in a full festive array of finery for its annual holiday open house, featuring oodles of decorations both inside and out. Photo opportunities abound with Santa and his rein-goats offering a warm lap to visitors old and young; tours of the beautifully decorated house, where an old-fashioned toy train circles the base of the living room Christmas tree; crafts, including cookie-baking and decorating for the kids and live music.

December 12 and 13. Free admission. Call (805) 681-7216 or email dacia@goletahistory.org for more information. 304 N. Los Carneros Road, Goleta. www.stowhouse.com.

10th Annual Trolley of Lights Tour

Enjoy an incredible show of holiday light artistry when you take this 90-minute trip through town on the Trolley of Lights. Both the young and young-at-heart are sure to enjoy this dazzling display of decorations, as well as the hot apple cider and holiday treats. This tour is a local holiday favorite that always sells out, so make your reservations early.

From mid-December and throughout the month meets at 6:30 p.m. nightly at Stearns Wharf Dolphin Foundation, intersection of State Street and Cabrillo Boulevard. For more information call (805) 965-0353 or visit sbtrolley.com.

Originally published in the winter 2009/10 issue of Santa Barbara Seasons Magazine. See the pdf version here.

 

City Spring Activities: Mother’s Day Treats

Mother's Day Treats, originally published in the spring 2010 issue of Santa Barbara Seasons Magazine.

Mother’s Day Treats, originally published in the spring 2010 issue of Santa Barbara Seasons Magazine.

It can be challenging to come up with a sensational way to celebrate the woman who birthed you, clothed you, fed you, nagged you and dragged you to get you on the path to where you are today—all in the name of motherly love, of course.

This Mother’s Day is your turn to put her on a pedestal for a change. Here are some of our favorite mom-worthy ways to honor yours.

Whisk your mother off to the charming secret garden of Enchante Cottage Spa in Solvang. This sweet white cottage was converted into a mini-day spa where guests are greeted with tea and homemade scones before being pampered with pedicures, deep tissue or hot stone massages and other princess-like treats. Owner Deborah Paxton also serves a delicious lunch with advance reservations.

Why send flowers when you can treat mom to a “First Bloom” tour of Rose Story Farm in Carpinteria? Owners Danielle and Bill Hahn have 18,000 stunning rose plants in 150 different varieties. Don’t miss the White Tranquility Garden with more than 1,000 white roses grown together with white companion plants. Call in advance to make reservations for tours, which take place every Wednesday and Saturday.

The roses are also in bloom at the A.C. Postel Memorial Rose Garden. Just across the street from Mission Santa Barbara, this is a great spot to toss a frisbee, have a picnic or just relax with mom on her special day.

Treat your mom like the Queen Mum with high tea at the ocean-view Bella Vista at Four Seasons Biltmore Resort. Traditional British treats like finger sandwiches, miniature pastries, teacakes and scones are served with an assortment of teas or a “spot of sherry.”

Andersen’s Danish Bakery & Restaurant brings a touch of Copenhagen to the traditional English tea service. Marzipan is a specialty and we recommend the Sarah Bernhardt, a marzipan cookie dipped in dark Ghirardelli chocolate.

Enchante Cottage Spa, 385 Alisal Rd., Solvang, 805/693-1231, http://www.enchantecottagespa.com

Rose Story Farm, 5950 Casitas Pass Rd., Carpinteria, 805/566-4885,
www.rosestoryfarm.com

A.C. Postel Memorial Rose Garden, Los Olivos and Laguna streets, Santa Barbara, 805/564-5418

Four Seasons Biltmore Resort, 1260 Channel Dr., Montecito, 805/565-8237,
www.fourseasons.com/santabarbara

Andersen’s, 1106 State St., Santa Barbara,
805/962-5085, www.andersenssantabarbara.com

Santa Barbara Seasons Spring 2010 cover Originally published in the spring 2010 issue of Santa Barbara Seasons. To read the story as it appeared in print, click here: Sea_SP10_074

Winter Activities: Ho Ho Holidays

Casa Del Herrero, courtesy photo.

Casa Del Herrero, courtesy photo.

Say bah, humbug to the snow. Our warm-weather winters offer plenty of opportunities to fill your calendar with holiday cheer. Whether you’re looking for glittering lights, glitzy trees and glow-in-the-dark Santa Clauses, or more refined merry making, here are some of our favorite ways to celebrate the season, Santa Barbara style.

Historic Casa del Herrero’s Holiday-Themed Tour

Step back in time to the 1930s and cas enjoy the ambiance of Casa del Herrero (House of the Blacksmith), one of the finest examples of Spanish Colonial Revival Architecture. Reservations are a must for the special holiday-themed tours featuring classically elegant holiday decorations and special refreshments, alongside this historic landmark Andalusian-style country house and its lavish grounds and gardens.

Wednesdays, Fridays and Saturdays, December 9,11,12,16,18 and 19th at 10 a.m. and 2 p.m. Tickets are $20. Children 10 and over are welcome. For reservations call (805) 565-5653 or email casatour@silcom.com. 1387 East Valley Road, Montecito. www.casadelherrero.com.

Holidays at the Historic Stow House Ranch

The Stow House, dating back to 1873, will be dressed in a full festive array of finery for its annual holiday open house, featuring oodles of decorations both inside and out. Photo opportunities abound with Santa and his rein-goats offering a warm lap to visitors old and young; tours of the beautifully decorated house, where an old-fashioned toy train circles the base of the living room Christmas tree; crafts, including cookie-baking and decorating for the kids and live music.

December 12 and 13. Free admission. Call (805) 681-7216 or email dacia@goletahistory.org for more information. 304 N. Los Carneros Road, Goleta. www.stowhouse.com.

10th Annual Trolley of Lights Tour

Enjoy an incredible show of holiday light artistry when you take this 90-minute trip through town on the Trolley of Lights. Both the young and young-at-heart are sure to enjoy this dazzling display of decorations, as well as the hot apple cider and holiday treats. This tour is a local holiday favorite that always sells out, so make your reservations early.

From mid-December and throughout the month meets at 6:30 p.m. nightly at Stearns Wharf Dolphin Foundation, intersection of State Street and Cabrillo Boulevard. For more information call (805) 965-0353 or visit sbtrolley.com.

Originally published in the Winter 2009/10 issue of Santa Barbara Seasons Magazine.