Tag Archives: South Coast Beacon

Group aims to influence its sphere

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The unincorporated "Noleta" area between Goleta and SB, photo by Antandrus, courtesy Wikipedia Commons.

The unincorporated “Noleta” area between Goleta and SB, photo by Antandrus, courtesy Wikipedia Commons.

That fine line between the cities of Santa Barbara and Goleta — alternately known as “Noleta,” “Santaleta,” “the unincorporated county” and “home” to approximately 30,000 residents of the 93110, 93111 and part of the 93105 ZIP codes — took a step toward becoming part of Santa Barbara on Tuesday, thanks to the petition efforts of a group called the West Santa Barbara Committee.

Some of that area’s residents’ growing unease is the result of a governmental phenomenon known as a “sphere of influence,” in which a city may designate a contiguous unincorporated area as a potential prelude to annexation.

Fueled in part by concern that the city of Goleta will include plans for the area in its General Plan, the West Santa Barbara Committee collected more than 4,000 signatures favoring Santa Barbara’s sphere of influence, as it was years ago.

“Now we have Goleta doing its General Plan and hidden from view is a potential land grab for the entire unincorporated area. We know this is happening,” said Steve Engles, committee chairman.

However, Bob Braitman, executive director of the Local Agency Formation Commission, or LAFCO, told the Santa Barbara City Council that Goleta did not have any designs on the unincorporated area.

“The city of Goleta says their boundaries are appropriate,” he said.

LAFCO, which will ultimately decide the fate of the incorporated area, is in the process of doing a state-required Municipal Service Review of the zones and, when that is completed in the next month or so, Santa Barbara council members indicated they would likely be supportive of the efforts to put “Santaleta” into the city’s sphere of influence.

Originally published in South Coast Beacon on May 12, 2005.

Taking a vacation from my guilt trips

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Not Guilty by Ged Carroll, courtesy Flickr.com.

Not Guilty by Ged Carroll, courtesy Flickr.com.

I’m doing the right thing. Or am I?

I was raised on a diet of guilt, albeit one well seasoned with plenty of humor (a caveat I added so that I wouldn’t feel too guilty when my mother reads this). Guilt is so deeply embedded into my DNA that I really thought it would be the one aspect of motherhood I would have mastered in advance. After all, I’ve spent most of my life making important decisions based on the avoidance of future guilt (Can the dentist really tell if I skip one night of flossing? I’d rather watch The O.C., but what if Joey gets canceled because I stopped watching?).

I hear a lot of voices in my head, and while my mother’s is one of the loudest, I’m also haunted by Humphrey Bogart’s warning at the end of Casablanca: “If that plane leaves the ground and you’re not with him, you’ll regret it. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life.”

Of course, if I were Ingrid Bergman I would have felt guilty for even having the discussion about leaving my husband, especially outside in the rain, where I could have caught a cold and died, thus ruining my mother’s life.

Yet, despite so many years of guilty woulda coulda shoulda dress rehearsals in my head, I continue to be surprised by how entwined guilt is with motherhood.

I’m still reeling from last week’s doozy.

My husband and I went to Soho to hear a friend sing, a rare night out in adult world, while unbeknownst to us (cell phones only work if you can hear them ring) our son was vomiting — for several hours — all over grandma’s house.

My poor baby! My poor mom! Her poor carpet! My stomach still hurts from feeling guilty over my mistreatment of all three of them. Of course, my overdeveloped gag reflex doesn’t help.

While the part of me that hears voices is convinced that people with clear consciences have bad memories, or are just plain delusional, the more rational part of me has decided that all of this guilt has got to go. Therefore, this Mother’s Day (while part of me was enjoying being with my family and part of me was wishing I could be at a spa, with Sven the masseuse) I resolved that there are certain things I will no longer feel guilty about. The list includes:

1. Working full time. Yeah right, who am I kidding? Even though my husband stays home with our son, I am convinced that I could be doing a better job if I were the one to say home, which of course, I feel terribly guilty for even thinking about when he’s such a great father.

2. Being more lenient with my son than I should be on the weekends, because I want our time together to be fun. (Yeah sure. Want to lay odds on that one?)

3. Gelt guilt: the Jewish version of spending the weekend buying things for your child because you worked all week and you want your time together to be fun.

Clearly I’m aiming a bit too high — or I’m a total failure at guilt alleviation, which makes me feel simultaneously terrible and guilty. Maybe I should ease into this less ambitiously. From here on I resolve to not feel guilty:

4. About lusting after my childless friends’ bank accounts and social calendars.

5. That my son’s favorite song is “Psycho Killer” instead of “Requiem in D Minor.”

6. Taking that first, wonderful sip of my latte and feeling like a terrible mom for enjoying it when I could have stayed home with my son for five minutes longer instead.

7. That we let our son watch TV in the morning so we can sleep “just a little longer.”

8. That I sometimes pretend to be asleep in the hopes that my husband will get up with our child in the middle of the night.

9. That I sometimes pretend to be asleep in the hopes that my husband will not get up with me in the middle of the night.

10. That I pray I’ll be the only one home when I pull into the driveway.

11. … Then am annoyed that I rushed from work and there’s nobody there.

12. Doing a little happy dance when I go to work and my husband has to worry about what to feed our little darling for breakfast.

13. That my husband and I spend the majority of our date nights talking about our son, and not about things like “Requiem in D Minor.”

14. For feeling guilty and then blaming it on my DNA or the voices in my head.

15. Picturing my child telling his analyst about me one day.

16. … Then putting money in a therapy jar every time I do something I know he will tell his analyst about.

There, I actually feel better.

Or at least I will when I get home and put $16 in the therapy jar for writing this column.

Originally published in South Coast Beacon on May 12, 2005.

Family united, a world apart

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At home in Santa Barbara, proud mom soldiers on

Winning her own war against worry on the domestic front, longtime military wife Janet (Barens) Flatebo is keeping the home fires burning in Santa Barbara while her husband, son and daughter-in-law are all stationed in Iraq.

She and her husband, Gene Flatebo, both grew up in Santa Barbara. They met at a Sadie Hawkins Dance at San Marcos High, where her father, John Barens, was vice principal. They fell in love and married soon after Janet’s graduation in 1976.

At that point, Gene was already in the Marines, which he soon left to join the Army. When their twin sons, Luke and Richard, were only 5 months old, Gene was assigned to Livorno, Italy.

“I guess I had to grow up really fast,” said Janet, who gave birth to a daughter, Trina, soon after the twins. “I had three kids at age 21 and we were out of the country.”

As Gene moved up the ranks — “he was in the 82nd Airborne, he was Special Forces, he was in Delta, he was a path finder, he was a jump master, and he was in a unit, it’s called a black unit, kind of like the Delta and Special Forces” — the young family moved with him.

Italy and Berlin were some of Janet’s favorite assignments, she said, “because your friends became your family, and they are still your friends today.”

While most of the Army wives she “grew up with” have husbands who have retired and gone on to civilian jobs, Gene, who retired from the Army 11 years ago as a chief warrant officer (CW2), works for Halliburton subsidiary KBR. He volunteered for Iraq in February and will be there “at least another year.” She plans to rendezvous with him in Greece in August.

Meanwhile, she keeps company with her widowed mother, Jean Barens, and stays busy working as a registered dental assistant for Dr. Michael W. Thompson.

While still difficult, being apart has gotten easier thanks to improved communication. When Gene was in the first Persian Gulf War, Janet recalled, “I got maybe two phone calls from him, they were $50 each. … Now he calls every other day.”

Her son, Luke, an Army sergeant stationed at Camp Victory in Baghdad, and his wife, Tina, a staff sergeant stationed in Remagen in Tikrit, e-mail frequently, and even have Web cameras.

“They’ll be there a year to 18 months,” said Janet. Prior to Iraq they were stationed in Korea.

As difficult as it is to have family members so far away and in danger, Janet treasures her life as a military wife. “It was a great life. I would do it all over again,” she said.

And for others, who are just beginning on that path, she advised them to pray, keep busy and not watch too much TV.

“You have to laugh a lot and always support the person who is in harm’s way. Try not to complain … as they are just as worried about you,” she said.

“Also thank anyone who is in the military … if you know anyone who has a loved one in the military let them also know that you are grateful that they are serving our country and keeping us free.

“I don’t think the military hears that enough.”

Originally published in South Coast Beacon on May 12, 2005.

Taran honored for making a difference

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“If you want to get something done, ask a busy person,” goes the conventional wisdom. “If you want to get something done, get Sissy involved with it,” say friends of Sissy Taran.

They weren’t kidding.

The Montecito resident, along with husband Bernie and daughters Francine and Nadine, recently returned from Israel, where she helped dedicate the Center for Emergency Medicine at Hadassah Medical Center in Ein Kerem.

The Tarans were part of the largest donor mission in the history of Hadassah, the Women’s Zionist Organization of America, and were among nearly 700 donors from across the United States who gave $50 million to build the state-of the-art emergency center.

Taran, who serves as vice president of membership for the 460-member Hadassah group in Santa Barbara, said the trip was amazing, particularly given the recent announcement that the Hadassah Medical Organization was nominated for the 2005 Nobel Peace Prize.

“(The hospital) is called an island of peace for both Jews and Palestinians … because it does take care of so many people,” Taran said.

“I’ve just been on such a high. I’ve been lucky that I’ve been fortunate enough that my husband and I can help make the world a better place. That’s our belief.”

Taran was also recently honored as the “Queen of Hearts” by Hadassah Southern California. She sits on the organization’s cabinet and has received commendations from Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger; Sens. Barbara Boxer, D-Calif., and Dianne Feinstein, D-Calif.; and Los Angeles Mayor James K. Hahn; as well as lawmakers, state officials and the Los Angeles Police Department.

The honorary dinner, held in Woodland Hills, was a benefit for the pediatric hemato-oncology departments of the Ein Kerem hospital.

“I just found something that I could become passionate about,” Taran said. “I kind of found my spirituality through Hadassah.”

Taran is also a board member of Congregation B’nai B’rith, a member of CALM (Child Abuse and Listening Mediation) Auxiliary, and is involved with the Anti-Defamation League and the Coalition Against Gun Violence.

The Tarans also work with children from Cleveland and Franklin schools as part of the Fighting Back Mentor Program and tutor for the Read Right now Program.

And somehow she fits in time to baby-sit her grandson, Ethan, and “finds time for bridge and the mahjong, the important things in life, ” she laughed.

Originally published in South Coast Beacon on May 5, 2005.

What’s in style at the prom

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Parents can relax a little this year, as skin is no longer quite so in for prom dress fashions.

“This year we are seeing a lot of more girlish dresses that are sweet and not overtly sexy,” said Jane Keltner of Teen Vogue magazine. “There is definitely a move in the market from the overtly sexy to the sweet look. There is a move from trashy to classy.”

“Pouffy is not really in,” said San Marcos High senior class president Sarah McGinnis.

Popular styles include strapless tube top type gowns, “but mostly long, fitted through the middle and then kind of bigger at the bottom,” she said. Beading is also popular.

Another very popular style echoes Kate Hudson’s look in How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days.

“I remember last year, at least six girls were wearing that dress in a different color. And I already know a girl who’s got it for this year’s prom. … Everybody loves that dress,” McGinnis said.

Girls heading to the big dance will be influenced by red-carpet style as well. Fashion experts cite Cate Blanchett’s multicolored Academy Awards gown, headbands like those worn by Scarlett Johansson and Natalie Portman, and Charlize Theron’s champagne-colored gown from 2004 as major prom fashion influences.

Teen Vogue advises young women to have fun with jewelry on prom night. “Pile on the costume pearls — long strands, short strands or both. Brooches are great to pin not just on your dress, but also to a bag or in your hair.”

The magazine also touts the wonders of metallic shoes. “Slingback, strappy metallic heels go with every dress and will add a touch of sparkle to your look.”

And for the boys, you can’t go wrong with a classic black tuxedo. PromDressGuide.com recommends the single or double-breasted shawl lapels. “These styles are absolutely perfect for the young man who wants to look classic and super-elegant.”

Originally published in South Coast Beacon  on May 5, 2005.

Fairy godmothers help girls play dress up

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Preprom. Taken by Ken Stokes on May 20, 2005, courtesy Wikipedia Commons.

Preprom. Taken by Ken Stokes on May 20, 2005, courtesy Wikipedia Commons.

Their own daughters aren’t even going to the prom this year, but that didn’t stop Sarah Kass and Julie Lauritsen from stepping up to play fairy godmothers for some other budding Cinderellas.

The two San Marcos High moms have gathered a collection of prom dresses to help young women ease some of the financial burdens of preparing for that night of nights.

Along with appealing to girls who may not be able to afford a new prom dress (which can be hundreds and even thousands of dollars), the women are trying to “teach basic accountability as far as you don’t have to waste things and you don’t have to always buy things new,” Kass said.

Lauritsen started requesting dresses by making calls to friends whose daughters had graduated. They’ve already done their first inventory and have gotten Ablitt’s Fine Cleaners, 14 W. Gutierrez St., to donate its services. This week some volunteers will model the dresses at lunchtime to build up some awareness of their availability.

“We’re doing the best we can to make this as exciting and nonissuable,” Lauritsen said. “We’re trying to make it clear that the kids can spend their money on all the extras and borrow a dress and save their money as we go.

“For girls when they have the manicures and the hair and the makeup, let alone the flowers, it’s just ridiculous. Boys can rent their tuxes, and why can’t girls borrow dresses someplace?”

Why indeed. When Lauritsen explained the idea to Kass, she came on board right away.

“She is just so excited about it for all the years to come,” said Lauritsen.

Originally published in South Coast Beacon on May 2, 2005.

Prom time is prime time

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Preprom. Taken by Ken Stokes on May 20, 2005, courtesy Wikipedia Commons.

Preprom. Taken by Ken Stokes on May 20, 2005, courtesy Wikipedia Commons.

One of the most anticipated nights on the teenage social calendar is nearing, as seniors the three local public high schools gear up for their last hurrah — the senior prom.

Dos Pueblos High will be first this year, with its prom May 14 in Warren Hall at Earl Warren Showgrounds. The theme will remain a secret until the day of the prom, adviser Kelly Choi said.

Senior class officers Alisa Lee, Eileen Peyton, Janae Royston, Jessica Sanchez and Monica Shaner are planning the event, said Choi. The PTSA is also sponsoring an after-prom party in the dome at the showgrounds.

San Marcos High’s prom is May 21 at Fess Parker’s DoubleTree Resort. Plans have been in the works since the summer, said senior class president Sarah McGinnis, whose cabinet team of Amanda Coyle, Annick Lamb and Heather Van Buren picked the theme, “Central Park, Some Kind of Wonderful.”

“It’s like the New York skyline, and the ficus trees and all of that,” said McGinnis. A San Marcos tradition, the prom tickets will be souvenir key chains. Attendees will receive souvenir mugs with the prom logo on it, and names of the graduating class listed on the backside. “We’re also doing little mint cases with the prom logo,” said McGinnis, who has a $2,000 budget to work with for gifts and decorations.

Janine Pugh, a parent who is also a party planner, is helping coordinate the decorations, McGinnis said. “It’s really great, she’s awesome. It would not be the same without her,” she said.

The San Marcos PTSA will host an after-prom party at the Elks Club.

Most people will at least stop by the after-party, McGinnis predicted.

“I wouldn’t say everyone stays there the whole night, but they definitely come by and do the gambling and things like that,” she said.

Santa Barbara High’s prom will be held at Fess Parker’s DoubleTree Resort on May 28. The theme is Casablanca, like the movie, said assistant principal David Hodges.

Betsy Turner is the parent chairwoman for the prom and the PTSA is planning an after-party at Zodo’s Bowling & Beyond, Hodges said.

Usually people go to dinner before the prom in groups, said McGinnis, “unless they’re like dating or something.” But before dinner there are pictures to be taken, with parents and others.

Limousines are popular modes of transportation, but “people have done the LandShark, or used the trolley, all sorts of stuff,” said McGinnis, who went to the prom last year as a junior.

“Being a senior girl, I mean prom’s like the first thing on your mind once school ends junior year. No one likes to admit that, but that’s basically what it comes down to,” she said.

“(The prom) is a huge deal. Most people go.”

Originally published in South Coast Beacon on May 2, 2005.

Wisteria Lane Hysteria

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Desperate Housewives? Man I can relate

My name is Leslie, and I am addicted to Desperate Housewives.

The editor of Ms. Magazine, a woman of impeccable priorities, recently left the publication over an argument about Desperate Housewives. If that’s not a sign that the show has morphed into more than a guilty pleasure, I don’t know what is.

So, in honor of “Turn Off Your Television Week” (which I refuse to honor in any other way), I’d like to herald the return of the soap opera.

I’ve always been a fan of the genre, enjoying the eye candy — both the fabulous flesh and the even more fabulous fashions — as much as the outrageous plot lines. Plus, I’ve always longed to slap someone with the Diva-like authority of a soap opera vixen and wondered whether it would really make such a satisfying sound. Unfortunately, the selfish man I married refuses to have an affair, denying me adequate justification. Maybe I could nail him on leaving the toilet seat up…

My infatuation started long before I could follow most of the complicated plot lines. I remember sipping Tab and eating bridge mix while dissecting General Hospital with my Grandma Etta. We tsk-tsked over young Demi Moore getting herself involved with the much older Robert Scorpio (ironic, isn’t it Ashton?) and fretted for the future of Luke and Laura’s union.

In college, All My Children (All My Kids as we affectionately called it) was the big thing at my sorority house. We planned our classes so we could be home at noon, and share in the exhausting adventures of Erica Cane. And it wasn’t just a girl thing: complain though they did, most of our boyfriends were seriously addicted by the end of first semester. Come to think of it, another missed slapping opportunity.

Of course we were college students, who took ourselves oh-so-seriously, so we had to mock our addiction in order to stomach it a little better. I can’t tell you how many times I heard the words “post-modern,” “pre-feminist,” and “evil twin” while all eyes were glued to All My Kids.

Which brings me back to Desperate Housewives, and why I get such a kick out of the fact that people are expending so many precious brain cells dissecting this silly little show.

Don’t get me wrong, my TIVO is working just as hard as the next gal’s every Sunday night, and I couldn’t wait to read that trashy Vanity Fair article where the housewives fight over who gets to be in the middle of the picture. But when culture critics and academics start dissecting the show like it’s a spot of saliva on CSI Pittsburgh, I have to laugh. Haven’t you guys ever seen a soap opera before?

They’ve always been the shows where over-40 actresses drive the drama, get the guys, and pop off the best lines. And incidentally, they look fabulous while doing it.

But like General Hospital, which worked a sensitively written breast cancer storyline into the drama and was one of the first shows to feature an HIV positive character, the best soap operas manage to walk a fine line between melodrama and good old-fashioned storytelling. Desperate Housewives too sticks some real issues (dealing with aging parents, spanking your children) in amongst the lingerie and the murders.

So why is it that both intellectuals and people with G-rated lives — who rarely agree on anything — say I’m not supposed to like Desperate Housewives? It’s either too racy or it’s too retro, pre-feminist or post-feminist.

Do I need more coffee or are those oh-so-serious college conversations coming back to haunt me?

But I’m older and wiser now, and not afraid to admit that I’ve been hooked on housewives since the very first episode.

It wasn’t the over-the top antics of Nicolette Sheridan’s Edie character (which would have tickled me as a kid) or the Twin Peaks-like mysterious narrator (which would have delighted me in college), it was Felicity Huffman’s Lynette character.

“The other ones are fun, but Lynette’s character is the only one I really relate to,” said a friend at a recent Desperate Housewives fundraising cocktail party.

Lynette left a high-powered job to stay home with four rambunctious boys. During a particularly challenging (i.e. typical) day she runs into a former co-worker (perfectly coifed in a spit-free power suit) who asks how she likes her new life. After a pregnant pause, the look on Lynette’s face says volumes more than the cliche on her lips: “This is the best job I ever had.”

In another great Lynette moment, she has a breakdown at a park and when her friends find her, they confess how difficult motherhood has been for them, too, and Lynette questions why mothers can’t be more honest about feeling overwhelmed.

Mothers all over the land cheered, “Somebody finally said it on television.”

And if the housewives can admit that being a mother is hard, then I can make a confession too — Desperate Housewives isn’t a guilty pleasure, it’s simply a pleasure.

My husband doesn’t agree with me. I think I’ll slap him.

Originally published in South Coast Beacon on April 28, 2005.

Hospital construction to begin in June

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Construction is expected to begin in June on the rebuilding of Santa Barbara Cottage Hospital, the largest and most expensive project in the city’s history. As anticipated, the Santa Barbara City Council unanimously gave the go-ahead on April 26. Officials estimate the hospital won’t be completed until 2013.

Cottage Health System Chief Executive Officer Ron Werft outlined the rigorous review process the project has undergone over the past 26 months, including 31 meetings with the City Council, Planning Commission, Architectural Board of Review and other commissions of the city; 20 meetings with city staff and 19 neighborhood meetings.

“All of us who have worked on this project have a great deal of pride in it,” he said.

While the current cost estimate hovers near $415 million, officials fear the cost could be much higher, with some mentioning — for the time in the life of the project — that public funds may be needed to help pay for the hospital.

Cottage had initially vowed to pay for the project without taxpayer dollars, relying on a plan to sell private bonds, use hospital reserves and foundation money and raise funds in the community.

“We may need your financial assistance,” said Cottage board member Dr. Nicholas Vincent, who suggested the cost of the hospital could rise to $460 or $480 million.

However, Cottage Health System CFO Joan Bricher disagreed, saying, “We are very confident that we are able to provide the city with our own fiscal ability to complete this project and it’s our job to do so and we take that very seriously.”

Commenting on the relatively-quick-for-Santa Barbara 26-month review process, Planning Commission Chairman Jonathan Maguire said, “this is probably the largest and most complicated development that our city will ever see. If this development were anything but Cottage Hospital, I bet we would still be a long way from where we are today.”

The hospital will remain open throughout the eight-year construction effort. Cottage is working to meet a state deadline that requires all hospitals to be earthquake safe that time.

Originally published in South Coast Beacon

Battle of the Books

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Reading comprehension, retention is the name of this popular game

The Lucky Ligers may have taken home first place honors, but every child came out a winner at the county’s fourth annual Battle of the Books on April 14.

Combining reading comprehension with a thirst for competition and the need for diplomatic cooperation among teams of six students (grades four to six) who have never met before, students had just seconds to come to a consensus answer on questions about the 30 books they were assigned from a pre-selected list.

Familiar childhood titles such as Beverly Cleary’s Ralph S. Mouse and E.B. White’s Trumpet of the Swan, mingled with newer books like Jamie Gilson’s Do Bananas Chew Gum? and Joanna Cole’s Magic School Bus: Inside the Earth.

“I read 29 of the books,” boasted Alexandra Siefe, from Los Berros School in Lompoc, to her No Namers teammate Sarah Jamieson of Foothill School. “When we started the school year, I started to check them all out from the library.”

Some Vieja Valley School students got an even earlier start when third-grade teacher Teri Brown sent them home with the book list last summer, along with a letter encouraging them to read and take notes. She started meeting with interested students in October, with the top six earning spots on the battle teams.

“The schools were clamoring for spaces, and it filled very quickly,” said Steve Keithley, who spearheaded the project for the county Office of Education. There were a total of 192 students from 32 public schools.

Halfway through the four-round battle, it looked like a three-way tie between the Dolphins, the Unlucky Readers and the Flaming Books (the students got to pick their own team names, elect captains and draw team signs as part of their warm-up activities), but the Lucky Ligers managed to pull it off in the final heat. Winning team members included Olivia Cusimano from Cold Spring School; Chris Estrada, Aliso School; Grace Fowler, Patterson Road School; Daniel Gosenberg, Olive Grove Charter School; Celeste Orlosky, Monte Vista School; and Annie Thwing, Vieja Valley School.

“More than just another competition, Battle of the Books is a great reading incentive program,” said county schools Superintendent Bill Cirone.

That wasn’t the only incentive, students were also awarded certificates, pins, books, book bags and, for the winning team – T-shirts that said “most extreme reader.”

Win or lose, for most of the kids it was all about having a good time.

“I did it last year and I’m back again because it was fun,” said Katie Spieler, a student from Hope School.

Originally published in South Coast Beacon on April 21, 2005.