Reel Cool Movies at the Granada

The Muppet MovieGet ready for a fun series of family favorite movies at the Granada this summer.  The 2015 Summer Film Series offers audiences an especially rare opportunity to see memorable favorites on the most sophisticated, state-of-the-art digital 4K rear-projection screen at the historic Granada Theatre.

These family friendly films screen on Wednesdays throughout the summer.

June 10,  6 p.m.: The Muppet Movie (1979), G

June 24, 6 p.m.:  Ghostbusters (1984), PG

July 8, 6 p.m.:  E.T. (1982), PG

July 22, 6 p.m.: The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, & the Wardrobe (2005), PGThe Chronicles of Narnia

August 12, 6 p.m.: Surf’s Up (2007), PG

August 26, 6 p.m.: Despicable Me (2010), PG

General Admission tickets are $10 with discounts for multiple series purchases. Click here to purchase tickets for each movie performance, or by calling The Granada Theatre’s Box Office at 805/899-2222. The theater is located at 1214 State St. For more information please visit www.granadasb.org.

—Leslie Dinaberg

Originally published in Santa Barbara Seasons Magazine on June 6, 2015.

La Primavera Fiesta Kick Off

El Presidente Cas Stimson (center) celebrating at La Primavera, photo by Fritz Olenberger

El Presidente Cas Stimson (center) celebrating at La Primavera, photo by Fritz Olenberger

Last weekend was the official kick off for the 2015 Fiesta season, La Primavera, where El Presidente Cas Stimson unveiled the official Fiesta theme, poster design, and pin.

The theme, Fiesta Romántica, states Stimson, “recalls the time in the early 19th century when people met at parties filled with music and dance… that lasted for days! During this charming era, young men wooed their ladies with music and song under the moonlight. Old Spanish Days continues this romance of people coming together in celebration with their best friends and spouses. As has been the case with many visitors and residents of Santa Barbara, my wife Kathy and I met during Fiesta 25 years ago.”

La Primavera was held at the historic El Paseo Restaurant. Here’s a look at the event, featuring photos by Fritz Olenberger.

The 2015 Old Spanish Days poster,  photo by Fritz Olenberger

The 2015 Old Spanish Days poster, photo by Fritz Olenberger

Celebrating at La Primavera, photo by Fritz Olenberger

Celebrating at La Primavera, photo by Fritz Olenberger

Celebrating at La Primavera, photo by Fritz Olenberger

Erin Graffy de Garcia, celebrating at La Primavera, photo by Fritz Olenberger

2015 Spirit of Fiesta Alexandra Freres celebrating at La Primavera, photo by Fritz Olenberger

2015 Spirit of Fiesta Alexandra Freres celebrating at La Primavera, photo by Fritz Olenberger

—Leslie Dinaberg

Originally published in Santa Barbara Seasons Magazine on May 13, 2015.

Editor’s Pick: STOMP

STOMP

This high-energy percussive symphony of matchboxes, brooms, garbage cans, Zippo lighters and more has to be seen and experienced to be believed. The whole family is sure to enjoy the inventive and invigorating stage show that’s dance, music and theatrical performance blended into one electrifying rhythm. Feb. 9, 8 p.m. The Granada, 1214 State St. 805/899-2222, granadasb.org.

Originally published in Santa Barbara Seasons Magazine, Winter 2014/15.

 

Celebrate Family Holiday Movie Weekend at the Granada Theatre

Granada Holiday Movie Weekend

Enjoy the magic of the holidays at The Granada Theatre’s Family Holiday Movie Weekend on Saturday, December 13 and Sunday, December 14!  In addition to screening holiday movie favorites with the only 4K cinema projection system in the region, Santa Claus will make a special visit to The Granada Theatre to greet children, and there will be special seasonal musical performances by local school and musical groups including Montecito Union Elementary, La Colina Junior High, San Marcos High School, Santa Barbara High School and local public elementary school students from the Incredible Children’s Art Network (iCAN) program.

Here’s the schedule:

Saturday, December 13

11 a.m. Music by Montecito Union Elementary

Movies: Merry Madagascar and Kung Fu Panda

noon to 1:30 p.m.   Meet Santa Claus!

3 p.m. Music by San Marcos High School Madcappella Choir

Movie: White Christmas

7 p.m. Music by La Colina Junior High Outburst Choir

Movie: National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation

Sunday, December 14

11 a.m. to noon Meet Santa Claus!

noon Music by Incredible Children’s Art Network (iCAN) group Pacific Choir

Movie: Miracle On 34th Street

5 p.m. Music by Santa Barbara High School Madrigals Choir

Movie: Dr. Seuss’ How The Grinch Stole Christmas

General Admission tickets are just $5 and include open seating. Reserved seating in the Loge is available for $10 per ticket. Click here to purchase tickets for each music and movie performance, or by calling The Granada Theatre’s Box Office at 805/899-2222.  The Granada is located at 1214 State St.

—Leslie Dinaberg

Originally published in Santa Barbara Seasons on December 10, 2014.

Local Lowdown | Everybody’s Doing the Localmotion!

The Land Shark, photo by Mercedes Lowe

The Land Shark, photo by Mercedes Lowe

By Leslie Dinaberg

Planes, trains and automobiles may bring people to town, but when you get here, Santa Barbara has loads of ways to locomote your way around. Whether you’re a local or just visiting, it’s easy to step off the gas and take a vacation from your car with Santa Barbara Car Free’s (santabarbaracarfree.org) discounts and tips. If it’s a guided tour you’re after, here are some fun ways to get around.

 

The Land Shark, photo by Mercedes Lowe

The Land Shark, photo by Mercedes Lowe

The Land Shark, photo by Mercedes Lowe

The Land Shark, photo by Mercedes Lowe

1   From See to Sea

Finally, a shark that doesn’t bite! The Land Shark amphibious tour vehicle is a fun-for-all-ages way to tour the town both by land and sea. The journey begins at Stearns Wharf and winds its way through an amusing narrative of the streets of Santa Barbara’s historic landmarks and attractions. Then—in what’s clearly the money shot of the day—you splash into the blue Pacific waters of the harbor to hear maritime legends and discover the abundant marine mammals and sea life that inhabit the ocean. Land and Sea Tours, 805/683-7600, out2seesb.com.

Santa Barbara Trolley Company, courtesy photo

Santa Barbara Trolley Company, courtesy photo

2   Trolley Tours

Whether you want a 90-minute narrated tour of Santa Barbara or prefer to hop around town all the livelong day, boarding the Santa Barbara Trolley is a great option. The trolley—which has toured Santa Barbara for more than 25 years—runs throughout the city from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. daily, departing from Stearns Wharf, where the purchase of a single ticket gets you all-day on/off privileges. Points of interest include Santa Barbara Courthouse, Santa Barbara Zoo, Santa Barbara Museum of Natural History, Old Mission Santa Barbara and more, all fully narrated by knowledgeable tour guides. Santa Barbara Trolley Company, 805/ 965-0353, sbtrolley.com.

 

Segway of Santa Barbara, photo by Mercedes Lowe

Segway of Santa Barbara, photo by Mercedes Lowe

3     Segway Scene

Hop on a two-wheeled Segway and see the sights in a whole new way. Guided tour options include the Santa Barbara Beach Run, from West Beach to Andree Clark Bird Refuge; a Butterfly Beach Tour, from Stearns Wharf to the historic Four Seasons Biltmore and Coral Casino; Old Santa Barbara, from Stearns Wharf to the courthouse; or the Mission Tour, which takes you from the pier to Old Mission Santa Barbara. Play your cards right and Josh, the flamenco guitar-playing guide, may even serenade you. Segway of Santa Barbara, 805/963-7672, segwayofsb.com.

Segway of Santa Barbara, photo by Mercedes Lowe

Segway of Santa Barbara, photo by Mercedes Lowe

Originally published in the Fall 2014 issue of Santa Barbara SEASONS Magazine

Solvang’s “Scarecrow Fest” and Halloween Fun Start This Week

Scarecrow Fest, Grand Prize Winner, Buellton Valley Pets. Photo by Tenley Fohl Photography.

Scarecrow Fest, Grand Prize Winner, Buellton Valley Pets. Photo by Tenley Fohl Photography.

The beginning of Solvang’s 5th Annual Scarecrow Fest coincides with the Santa Barbara Wine Country Celebration of Harvest Weekend, then there are numerous fall activities planned in the Santa Ynez Valley/Santa Barbara Wine Country, spread throughout the month.

Running from Oct. 10-Nov. 10, some of the festival highlights include:

-The amazing scarecrow contest, where Solvang businesses, organizations and, as a new facet to this year’s contest, Solvang residents, will participate in the contest by featuring a scarecrow of their own creation, posted at their location. You can vote via ballot boxes scattered about the city, for scarecrow winners in six  different categories: “Best Scarecrow in Motion,” “Best Use of Recycled Materials,” “Best Use of a Business Theme,” “Most Danish,” “Spookiest” and “Most Humorous.” Ballots are available at the Solvang Visitors Center and at select Solvang businesses, and feature maps to direct voters to each of the contest’s scarecrows.

Once a “Best Solvang Scarecrow” winner has been chosen, it will be entered into the Santa Ynez Valley-wide competition with the respective winners from Buellton, Los Alamos, Los Olivos and Santa Ynez, to determine the “Valley’s Best Scarecrow” bragging rights.

Solvang Scarecrow Fest, Best of Solvang Lucas & Lewellen, #1 Judges Choice Winner. Photo by Tenley Fohl Photography.

Solvang Scarecrow Fest, Best of Solvang Lucas & Lewellen, #1 Judges Choice Winner. Photo by Tenley Fohl Photography.

The October installment of Solvang’s Third Wednesday, to be held on October 15, which will feature a “Fall Frolic Block Party” at the town’s “West End” including live music, free treats, a local business-supporting “Cash Mob” and free admission to the Wildling Art Museum.

The Oct. 15 “Fall Frolic,” Lemos-sponsored doggie costume contest and parade kicks off at 5:45 p.m., with prizes – $20 Lemos gift certificates – being awarded for best costumes in three categories: “Funniest,” “Scariest” and “Most Original.” To enter the costume contest, human handlers should show up in front of Lemos (1511 Mission Dr.) by 5:45 p.m., with their animal counterparts. Along the “parade” route, a handful of Solvang’s West End businesses will be upping the “free” and “food” antes including Wandering Dog Wine Bar, (1539-C Mission Dr.) which will be offering gratis Rosemary Spiced Nuts, as well as free cider and nibbles in front of Kandra’s Beads (1539-A Mission Dr.).

-The 21st Annual Haunted House and Street Fair, which will thrill visitors with food, fun and spirits, on Oct. 30-31. The Haunted House and Street Fair, to be held at the Solvang Festival Theater (420 2nd Street), will include a “Trunk or Treat” candy-palooza among other tasty and spirited delights.

Additional information is available at www.solvangthirdwednesday.com.

—Leslie Dinaberg

Solvang Scarecrow Fest, Best Use of Recycled Materials, Waste Management, courtesy photo.

Solvang Scarecrow Fest, Best Use of Recycled Materials, Waste Management, courtesy photo.

Originally published in Santa Barbara Seasons on October 8, 2014.

 

Life lessons

Courtesy Photo

Courtesy Photo

For some it’s all about the sweets, but the practical experience of selling can turn a girl into one smart cookie

Along with the taste of Thin Mints, Samoas and Tag-a-longs, local Girl Scouts are also savoring the sweet smell of success while learning how to set goals, be persistent, organize their schedules and other valuable skills.

“I don’t really have a secret; my mom and I, we just go everywhere, door to door (selling cookies),” said Tiondra Flynn, an 8th grader at Carpinteria Middle School who is one of the top sellers in the area. “Last year I made a goal for myself of 2,000 boxes and I’m at 2,002 right now.”

Goal setting is one of the most important skills learned selling cookies. “(They ask themselves) what do I need to do to accomplish an end result benefit? It might be the reward (that motivates the girls) but to get there requires specific behavior,” said Jeff Blackman, author of five books for sales professionals, including the recent Amazon bestseller Stop Whining, Start Selling.

The girls set pretty high goals and figure out very creative ways of reaching them, said Mary Hernandez of the local Girl Scouts of Tres Condados Council. “If they don’t reach that goal that’s another life lesson.”

The girls and adult volunteers select all of the incentives; they’re not preplanned, said Hernandez.

Last year Valerie Vampola sold more than 1,000 boxes and earned a free week at summer camp. “I want to see if I can do it again,” said the St. Raphael School 7th grader.

“They give us prizes for every hundred (boxes) or so, but if we reach 1,000 we get to go to Camp Tecuya for free. I’ve been going for like five years, it’s a really cool place,” said Flynn.

Along with summer camp, t-shirts, backpacks and beach towels can be earned. Some of the girls are motivated by college scholarships. “The reason why I’m still selling cookies, they have a scholarship program. If I’m a Girl Scout all the way through high school, I get a scholarship of 35 cents per box,” said Flynn, who said she’s really fond of animals and someday wants to train killer whales “like they do at Sea World.”

“By setting goals you give yourself a road map of what to follow rather than aimlessly pursuing the task,” said Maura Schreier-Fleming, president of Best@selling.

It’s important to set realistic goals, said Steve Waterhouse, president of the Waterhouse Group. And also to have a process tied to that goal. The girls should figure out how many houses to visit if they want to sell a certain number of cookies. “If you want to sell 50 boxes you can’t go out for just half an hour.”

While some pros said persistence is critical, Jacques Werth, author of High Probability Selling, disagrees. “We’ve studied what the top sales people do in 23 different industries on three continents. You shouldn’t spend more than one minute with people who don’t want to buy,” said Werth. “It’s all about dealing with people on the basis of mutual trust and respect. When you refuse to take no for an answer that’s not showing respect.”

“I’ve definitely learned how to take a no for answer,” said Flynn, who’s been in scouting for almost eight years. “If they just say ‘no,’ then I just say ‘thanks,’ then I just leave. When I was first starting out as a Brownie, I didn’t understand why they didn’t want any. I would be like ‘Oh, how come?’ ”

“In reality, getting a NO from a prospect is just as valuable as a YES. … Because while you are wasting your time hounding someone to get them to buy, Lord knows how many prospects, who would be much easier to sell, are getting away from you?” said Jim Labadie, owner of Howtogetmoreclients.com.

“(You have to) not be afraid to ask people. You never know who will buy and who won’t,” said Vampola. “And then sometimes if they say no, sometimes I try to encourage them to buy.”

Parental support is an important ingredient in the girl’s success. “My parents help me out. They bring (sign-up) sheets to their jobs and I go door to door, and then when cookies are finally out I try to go to booth sales as often as I can and stay there as much time as I can,” said Vampola, whose mother Irma is her troop leader and father Mark is the cookie chairman as well as the booth chairman for the region.

Flynn’s mother Pete is also her troop leader and an expert in the up-sell technique, according to her daughter. “If they give us $20, she’ll say ‘you can buy five with that’ rather than immediately giving them change,” said Flynn.

Another technique that works well for Girls Scouts is called “assumptive selling.” When author Blackman’s daughter Brittney was about 7 or 8, their town endured a really cold winter, and it was tough to sell cookies door to door. Rather than give up, Brittney simply picked up the phone and called every single person who bought from her the previous year. Her pitch: “Would you like to order the same number of boxes as last year or should I put you down for even more?”

Sounds like one smart cookie indeed.

Originally published in South Coast Beacon

Mixed Messages

Television by Salvatore Vuono (freedigitalphotos.net)

Television by Salvatore Vuono (freedigitalphotos.net)

Be careful — what your kids watch may be hazardous to their health and your wallet.

If TV is “chewing gum for the eyes,” as Architect Frank Lloyd Wright once said, it may be causing more than tooth decay in children — TV may also be making them fat, according to two new studies.

“The more than 1,000 hours that the average school child will spend in front of the television this year will harm him or her far more than the one second of Janet Jackson’s breast,” said TV-Turnoff Network Executive Director Frank Vespe.

The typical child sees about 40,000 ads a year on TV and the majority of ads targeted to kids are for candy, cereal, soda and fast food, a report by the Kaiser Family Foundation found. In addition, many of the ad campaigns enlist children’s favorite TV and movie characters — Spongebob Cheez-Its, Scooby-Doo Cereal, Teletubbies Happy Meals, to name a few — to pitch products.

Apparently the $12 billion per year spent on advertising to youth works. “Commercials make people want to buy things, like Cox high speed internet,” said 4-year-old Sophia Bordofsky.

Indeed, a series of studies examining product choices found that children recalled content from ads they’d seen, and their preference for a product occurred with as little as a single commercial exposure and grew stronger with repeated exposures, found a recent report by the American Psychological Association. The Kaiser study also found that exposure to food advertising affects children’s food choices and requests for products in the supermarket.

While there’s no doubt that advertisers are selling to children, not everyone is buying. Many parents restrict their children’s viewing. “They do have to do their homework first and they have to take turns picking a show,” said Misty Bordofsky, Santa Barbara mother of four children aged 4 to 13. “Usually they’ll leave the room and go do something else if it’s the show another kid picked,” she said.

Numerous parents may limit their children to watching videos and commercial-free television and a rare few don’t let their kids watch TV at all.

“I am appalled by marketing that targets children with ads for junk food and toys. Young children are not able to understand the inherent bias of an advertisement. They are easy targets,” said Charla Bregante, a Goleta mother of two who is in that 2 percent demographic that does not own a television.

“Most of the advertising during children’s programming is for junk food such as candy, chips, and sugared cereals. Kids are given the message that these foods are desirable and nag their parents to buy them. In addition, children tend to snack more while they are watching TV. Turning off the TV is one of the best ways to fight obesity in children. Almost any other activity will use more energy than sitting in front of a television,” said Bregante.

“While older children and adults understand the inherent bias of advertising, younger children do not, and therefore tend to interpret commercial claims and appeals as accurate and truthful information,” said psychologist Dale Kunkel, a professor of communication at UCSB and senior author of the APA report, which recommends restricting ads targeting children under the age of 8.

“I can tell you that my children rarely nag me for a specific toy or food item. I believe this is because they are not exposed to television advertising and the consumer culture promoted in television programming,” said Bregante, who encouraged families to participate in TV-Turnoff Week, April 19-25 (www.tvturnoff.org).

Is there anything positive for kids on television? Yes, according to Professor Kunkel: “There are lots of positive influences that may result from children’s viewing of certain pro-social or educational programs. The problem is that parents have to mine the media landscape pretty hard to find those occasional nuggets.”

Television is an (almost) inescapable part of modern culture. “With the recent explosion in satellite and digital specialty channels, we now have access to a plethora of both good quality and inappropriate TV content. In this crowded television environment, the key for parents is to search out high quality TV programs for their kids, and whenever possible, enjoy them together as a family,” recommends the Media Awareness Network, a nonprofit organization that focuses on media literacy.

For parents who don’t want to opt out completely, David Kleeman, Director of the American Center for Children and Media, recommends that parents ask the following questions to select viewing that is good for children:

Does the program actively engage my child, physically or intellectually? Television watching doesn’t have to be passive. It can prompt questions, kindle curiosity, or teach activities to pursue when the set is off.

Does my child see others like himself or herself on television? Young children believe that television reflects the real world. To not see people like themselves — in race, ethnicity, or physical ability, for example — may diminish their self-worth. A lack of role models should spark discussion about how TV portrays different types of people.

Do I respect this program? Parents don’t have to like every show their children choose — in fact, young people need their own district culture. But parents should trust that a program’s creators understand and respect how children grow and learn.

Originally published in South Coast Beacon

Mothers in arms

Photostock (freedigitalphotos.net)

Photostock (freedigitalphotos.net)

Lifelong friendships begin with bonding over their children

Motherhood has a secret code. It’s something only those who have struggled with 3 a.m. feedings or juggled a car seat, a purse, a diaper bag, a bag of groceries and a baby or two can understand. While it sometimes feels like those needy little creatures rule your life, among the unparalleled joys of parenthood, many moms say their kids have provided them with wonderful friendships with other mothers.

“I just really cherish all the friendships I’ve made from my kids,” said Susan Manzo, who has a group of women she’s been close to since her son, Nick, was in kindergarten at Monte Vista with their daughters. The moms have remained close. Now Nick’s a sophomore at San Marcos, and instead of complaining, “can’t you be friends with moms of boys instead of girls,” he’s in love with all the cute girls at the group’s annual ski trip, Manzo said.

When the girls were in the fifth grade they started a mother-daughter book club. “Our girls have these great relationships with these other women who aren’t their moms,” said Nancy Lorenzen, who participates monthly with her daughter Kirsten, Manzo and seven other mother-daughter pairs. “We all really enjoy getting together. I think it’s easier to get together with people in a similar life situation or life phase,” said Lorenzen.

That urge to bond with others in the same phase of life is part of what drove the founding of PEP (post partum education for parents) 25 years ago, said board member Jennifer Brannon. In addition to offering support and advice via a 24-hour “warm” line and monthly expectant parent classes, the nonprofit group also has weekly groups, starting from when babies are about six weeks old. “Once that class has been meeting about 12 weeks, they spin out in their own groups and meet at parks. There are kids that are 14 and 15 and the PEP groups still meet,” said Brannon.

“I’ve always been amazed at how much your kids dictate who your friends are,” said Rachael Steidl, the mother of Emily and twins Ashley and Whitney. When her twins were born, Steidl joined both Mothers of Multiples and PEP. While her initial motivation was education, she also made friends. “I really cherish the friendships for the time. … I was one of the first of my close friends to have kids and my relationships for that first year and a half probably changed drastically. … I felt really inadequate because of the fact that I wasn’t working, that I didn’t really have anything interesting to talk about. I mean how many times do they want to hear how many diapers I’ve changed and how many loads of laundry I’ve folded.”

While the closeness shared in those early days can fizzle, many women become bonded for life. Now a grandmother, Fran Davis met seven of her dearest friends more than 30 years ago as a parent at Starr King Preschool. “I thank my stars that I found Starr King. It was the core of all my friendships. (It) was a window or a door to the world for me, and I have never looked back.”

Davis believes the cooperative preschool tended to attract like individuals. The group has been through divorces, remarriages and the death of a spouse. “We’ve shared all stages, which is pretty amazing.”

Over the years there have been camping trips, weekend getaways and other excursions, with and without their extended families. “When our kids were little we would go down to Toys ‘R Us,” Davis said. As their lives have changed, so have their activities. The women now meet regularly as a book group. “Half of our book group is devoted to talking about what’s going on with ourselves and what’s going on in our lives. Right now we’re talking about a lot about the situation in the United States and how distressed we are.”

The group has even discussed some kind of communal living situation, “for when we get really old,” Davis said. “We were pretty much all stay-at-home mothers. … I think that’s a really sad thing that women who have to work these days don’t have opportunities to spend the time that it takes to make good friends.”

Indeed, finding that balance between work and family is a big topic of discussion among today’s mothers. “For a long time I didn’t know what anyone had done in my (PEP) group. It’s like ‘Oh, that’s right, we all had careers before this, I forgot,’ ” said Steidl, who founded her business, Santa Barbara Parent Source, partially based on input from her fellow mothers. “I remember when those issues first started coming up and it was so interesting to hear what people had done and see them in the light of a woman and not just a mom.”

Originally published in South Coast Beacon

Jungle Mom

Photo by Sura Nualpradid freedigitalphotos.net

Photo by Sura Nualpradid freedigitalphotos.net

I pity the first girl who stomps on my son’s heart.

I realized something about myself recently and it’s not very pretty. I may be an anti-violent, NPR-supporting, bleeding heart pacifist in theory, but when it comes right down to it-I would kill to prevent my son from suffering heartache.

I may not be a tiger mother, but I’m a jungle mom nonetheless. It stuns me how quickly I turn into Mama Bear when something threatens my cub.

When he was younger, I was mostly fixated on doing everything in my power to help my son avoid physical pain. Implanting a GPS tracking device and a boundary collar always sounded perfectly reasonable to me. It was only my husband’s mockery that prevented me from sending Koss out to play in full body armor. I would have wrapped him in Charmin from head to toe, like that kid in the old commercial who goes out to play football and practically tips over from all that cushiony padding.

I was always jealous of the mom in that commercial.

My imagination splinters into a million fearful little pieces whenever I think about anything bad happening to my son.

But now that Koss has successfully survived enough banged up knees and bruised elbows to keep the Band-Aid and Bactine business booming for years to come, it’s his emotional pain that keeps me up at night.

The fact is we’re still warming up to puberty, so at this point his hurt feelings dig much deeper into my overactive imagination than they do into his psyche. I will often still be reeling over some playground slight or hurt from weeks back when Koss wants to invite that very same kid I’ve been mentally murdering over to play.

Pesky old reality is no match for the mind of a mother.

Just thinking about the prospect of his many broken hearts to come is enough to make me growl.

I can’t help myself. Just thinking about that future girl who will someday make him cry drives me nuts. I want to kill her. I want to rip her to shreds. The mere thought of that girl transforms me into every single awful parent-of-an-only-child stereotype, though some might call me a murderous lunatic.

Gee, I hope his future girlfriends never read this column. That would be awful. Just awful.

Karma’s a bitch, and I certainly had my moments. As a former teenage girl, I know just how mean they can be.

Plus the fact that my genetic eggs are in this one and only one precious basket makes me guard it all the more zealously.

But here’s the rub. As a parent I’ve found that it’s almost impossible to try to comfort someone and develop their character at the time. With girlfriends and husbands, your job is just to listen and be supportive and hate whomever they hate at that moment. In those cases it’s easy to blame it on the other guy.

But when you’re comforting a child you sometimes have to fess up to the fact that it’s not always the other guy’s fault. Human relationships are complicated and they’re only just beginning.

Kind of makes me wish for the good old days when I would dream up tactical scenarios of how I would jump into the lion’s cage at the zoo to rescue my son.

When Leslie’s not busy cocooning her son in bubble wrap she can be reached at Leslie@LeslieDinaberg.com. For more columns visit www.LeslieDinaberg.com.  Originally published in the Santa Barbara Daily Sound on July 20, 2012.