How I Lost My Virgo

Virgo by Salvatore Vuono,

Virgo by Salvatore Vuono,

I have never really put much faith in astrology and haven’t read my horoscope on a regular basis in years. Still, I’ve always taken a certain pride in being a Virgo. With the beautiful symbol of virginal purity, “Virgos are intellectuals who were born to help others. They are humane and loyal in their jobs and personal lives, preferring calmness and order in life.”

Sounds just like me, right?

Not that I believe that being born under a certain star configuration has influenced my personality in any way. But I’ve always liked the description of Virgo character traits–loyalty, devotion, and feminine charms–figuring if the shoe fits, I may as well squeeze my toes in, alongside fellow Virgos Greta Garbo, Sophia Lauren, Ingrid Bergman and Lauren Bacall.

And now a guy named Parke Kunkle from the Minnesota Planetarium Society has taken my Virgo-ness away from me. He didn’t even buy me dinner first! And now to further insult my virtue, they’re bringing this Ophiuchus character into the mix. That is way too wild for my Virgo sensibilities.

Yet somehow I went to bed a Virgo on Sunday night and woke up a Leo on Monday morning. If I actually believed in horoscopes and all of that stuff, then I’d sure have a lot of rethinking to do.

Not that there’s anything wrong with Leo’s, DiCaprio or otherwise. These “overly creative and energetic lions command everyone’s attention. Brimming with self-confidence, their zeal for life is unmistakable. Leos enjoy taking center stage with a warm, inviting attitude.” My son is a Leo, or at least he used to be. He’s definitely more lion-like than I am, though. I’d love to be brimming with self-confidence and zeal for life.

In fact this whole go-to-bed-a-Virgo-wake-up-a-Leo thing has thrown my self-confidence for a loop. Now that I’ve been deVirgo-ized, I know how Pluto must have felt when it got de-planet-ized.

If I chose a career based on my Zodiac sign, does that mean I’d have to find something Leo-like to do now? And what if all of those “lucky lottery numbers” had actually been lucky for me-but I played the wrong Zodiac sign? I would have to rethink my whole investment strategy.

Wow. What if believing we were astrologically compatible I had married the wrong guy? And what if I had a Virgo tattoo, would I have to have it removed or somehow redrawn into a lion? Are sapphires no longer my birthstone, and do I have to give up my favorite blue earrings?

There must be something we can do to fight this. The Koreans are in my corner. The Korea Astronomy and Space Science Institute released a statement that “the International Astronomical Union, an internationally recognized body regarding astronomical matters, hasn’t made an official announcement on the change of zodiac signs,” with their representative Sul Ah-chim adding that if such a change were to happen, “the decision should be made by the official body.”

Apparently Kunkle fumbled this one.

So, at least for now, Ophiuchus can suck it. I’ll remain a Virgo, even if it’s just in my own mind. Plus I just read another news report that said the new astrology chart is only applicable for people who were born after 2009. I guess that means I’m a Virgo for life!

When Leslie’s not choosing which horoscope to read or ignore, she can be reached at Her columns run every Friday in the Santa Barbara Daily Sound. For more columns visit Originally published in the Santa Barbara Daily Sound on January 21, 2011.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.