{"id":4012,"date":"2009-03-27T00:00:00","date_gmt":"1970-01-01T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lesliedinaberg.com\/wordpress\/?p=4012"},"modified":"2013-12-07T17:40:13","modified_gmt":"2013-12-08T01:40:13","slug":"the-after-effects-of-cruising","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lesliedinaberg.com\/wordpress\/?p=4012","title":{"rendered":"The After-Effects of Cruising"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Love<\/a>I know cruises are supposed to be a splendid way to replenish your energy and deplete your bank account, but I didn’t realize the effects of going on the Love Boat<\/a> would be so long lasting. It’s been three months since we went on a five-day cruise to Mexico for my parent’s 50th anniversary, and we’re still feeling the after-effects.<\/p>\n

I finally got my land legs back last month, and the trip is paid for, but my son still expects turn down service and a mint on his pillow.<\/p>\n

Worse yet, he’s decided he likes the 19 meals a day plan. It seems like every time I rinse another dish the kid is asking for more food. “Hey mom, my stomach’s got a little more room. Isn’t it post-brunch, second snack, pre-high tea appetizer time?”<\/p>\n

Seriously, I don’t know what they put in the water on those Carnival Cruises<\/a>, but we’ve created a monster.<\/p>\n

Case in point: we went out to dinner the other night and Koss wanted to order crab legs as a starter, followed by a Cesar salad, French onion soup, steak and lobster, with both rice and French fries on the side, and a molten chocolate lava cake and cr\u00e8me br\u00fbl\u00e9e for dessert. \u201cOh, and don\u2019t forget the warm towels between courses,\u201d he asked politely. The cashier at McDonalds was very confused.<\/p>\n

At least the cruise taught him about washing his hands with something other than his tongue. But seriously, he\u2019s having a bit of a hard time adjusting to his tough life as an average nine-year-old.<\/p>\n

I get it.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s hard to go back to real life once you\u2019ve experienced having a whole crew of maitre d’s and supervisors watching the waiters, dessert staff, bartenders, sommeliers and toque-toting buffet servers at your beck and call, just to make sure you don’t do something for yourself that they could do for you.<\/p>\n

Then there\u2019s the freedom of being able to sign for anything extra your little heart desires. I understand how it went to his nine-year-old head, but it\u2019s got to stop. When we stopped by 7-Eleven for Slurpees the other day, he wanted to just \u201csign the bill\u201d for all of his friends.<\/p>\n

I fear all that service has scarred him for life. Thank goodness it was winter, which saved him from seeing a lot of people nearly naked that we would all prefer not to see nearly naked\u2014 although not from having to witness a case of suntan lotion being spread over the white expanse of skin belonging to a certain family of die-hard sunbathers from the Midwest.<\/p>\n

Meanwhile, after traveling with our whole extended family (my side, which is much more opinionated than his) my husband and I have lost all capacity to make decisions for ourselves. We\u2019re working on this, day by day.<\/p>\n

I almost broke down and called my mom the other night when I couldn\u2019t decide whether to make chicken or fish for dinner.<\/p>\n

Luckily, Koss solved that dilemma for me. \u201cI\u2019ll have them both, Mom. What are we having for a palate cleanser?\u201d<\/p>\n

Originally published in the\u00a0Santa Barbara Daily Sound\u00a0<\/a>on March 27, 2009.<\/strong><\/p>\n

When Leslie\u2019s not reminiscing about vacations, she can be reached at Leslie@LeslieDinaberg.com<\/a>. For more columns visit www.LeslieDinaberg.com.<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Share this:<\/h3>