{"id":3924,"date":"2005-04-21T00:00:00","date_gmt":"1970-01-01T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lesliedinaberg.com\/wordpress\/?p=3924"},"modified":"2017-06-30T11:33:55","modified_gmt":"2017-06-30T18:33:55","slug":"peanut-butter-parties-and-playdates","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lesliedinaberg.com\/wordpress\/?p=3924","title":{"rendered":"Peanut butter, parties and playdates"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Photo by Tolmacho, courtesy pixabay.<\/p><\/div>\n

Attention parents: when you go to kindergarten orientation this month, take a good look around at the other parents. These are the people you\u2019re going to spend the next 13 years of your life with.<\/p>\n

Those of you who did the co-op preschool thing are better prepared for this than the rest of us. For me, it was quite a shock when my son started kindergarten<\/a> and began dictating our social life.<\/p>\n

While I\u2019m told that most parents decide who their children are friends with \u2013 at least until they\u2019re 8 or 9 — our son must be precocious. He\u2019s only 5 and already his activities are filling our calendar.<\/p>\n

Luckily he has good taste in friends.<\/p>\n

It started out innocently enough. Koss met a few kids, and through them a few more. They played together at school, then after school they started having play dates. So far so good. You meet the other kids\u2019 parents, inspect their house for hidden artillery, quicksand and meth labs, finding none, you\u2019ve got two to three hours of afternoon freedom. (The \u201cyou\u201d usually being my husband, since I\u2019m almost always at work.)<\/p>\n

Of course reciprocal play dates involve some planning on our part, but for a parent of an only child, having another child over to play can sometimes be the next best thing to an extra hour\u2019s sleep. Not that my husband is asleep while your precious bundle is doing fire science with my child. He\u2019s just resting his eyes a moment, behind the locked door.<\/p>\n

Then there are the birthday parties. \u201cEither invite the whole class or mail the invitations\u201d was our teacher\u2019s instruction. Apparently most kindergarten parents dislike the post office the way I do the Laundromat.<\/p>\n

We started bulk loading our gift closet in the fall, and now replenish our stock on a regular basis.<\/p>\n

Somehow 20 kids in his class have multiplied into 20,000 birthday parties. Is my child the only one who was born in the summer? Was there some secret no one told me about that I could have avoided spending the last months of my pregnancy sweating in the swimming pool?<\/p>\n

It\u2019s not that kid\u2019s birthday parties aren\u2019t fun. I\u2019ve developed a certain affection for watching kids whack the pi\u00f1ata, and I\u2019m as much of a sucker for a sugar and lard rose as the next gal, but I can\u2019t help feeling a little envious when my pre-parental colleagues talk about the great parties they went to that weekend, or the R-rated movies they get to see.<\/p>\n

Then there are sports. It started out with AYSO soccer. Even though our son had shown no particular inclination for kicking anything other than the furniture, or running anywhere other than into our arms, my husband and I thought it might be fun for him to learn how to play.<\/p>\n

It was fun, but not for the reasons I expected. We liked the coach and the other parents.<\/p>\n

Koss turned out to be the Mr. Congeniality of peewee soccer.<\/p>\n

While he wasn\u2019t always sure which goal was his and which was his opponent\u2019s, he did get to know the other teams\u2019 ins and outs. He knew their favorite ice cream flavors, most beloved Power Rangers and whether they preferred Cartoon Network or Toon Disney. This is because he spent the games chatting, rarely paying attention to the action going on down the field.<\/p>\n

While he never scored a goal, he never left a game without a slew of phone numbers. Not many college level soccer players can say that.<\/p>\n

As he added new soccer friends to his dance card, we saw our own social life boogie out the door. Brunch? Sorry, we\u2019ve got soccer. Lunch? Can\u2019t do it, birthday party. Dinner? Nope, Koss set up a pizza night for us with one of his new buddies and their family.<\/p>\n

No wonder we never see our friends who have four kids! They\u2019ve penciled us in for summer \u2013 August of 2007 looks pretty free.<\/p>\n

Now it\u2019s T-Ball season, which is the perfect-paced game for a boy who likes to talk more than he likes to play. Waiting for all of the kids to go through the batting line-up bored his friend Jared to tears, but for Koss it\u2019s the perfect time for socializing.<\/p>\n

And what do you know; it\u2019s pretty fun for us too.<\/p>\n

I guess I should be happy he\u2019s so outgoing. A study at Harvard University found that reserved children are more likely to be violent than their outgoing peers. Hmmm \u2026 so far Koss has shown what I consider to be a normal 5-year-old level of violence, he\u2019s as likely to give a hug as a karate chop as a way of greeting a friend \u2026 or a stranger who\u2019s about to become one.<\/p>\n

Originally published in\u00a0South Coast Beacon on April 21, 2005.<\/a><\/p>\n

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