Back to school blues

© Silviaantunes | Dreamstime Stock Photos & Stock Free Images

© Silviaantunes | Dreamstime Stock Photos & Stock Free Images

Slamming the snooze button delays the dreaded alarm clock bell from ringing for three heavenly minutes, then it’s back to reality. Recess is over and it’s time for school to start again.

I know a lot of parents are jumping for joy that summer is over and they can finally escape from their kids–I guarantee you the toasts will be flying at Starbuck’s come Monday morning–but I’m not quite ready to escape from my son. We had such a nice, laid back summer; I’m not ready for it to end.

Maybe after Labor Day. Isn’t that the official end of summer?

It seems ridiculous to be going back to school when the waves have been so perfect and I’ve finally mastered the fine art of carting towels, beach chairs, boogie boards, skim boards, sand toys, sunscreen, hats, clothing changes, reading material, snacks and small children from the parking lot to the beach in a single trip.

What kind of diabolical-powers-that-be traded my summer for extra weeks off at Christmas and Easter? I’m not one to point fingers and call them anti-Semitic, but that is not a fair trade, let me tell you.

I’m not ready to start worrying about bedtime and balanced meals again. I hate the sound of that evil alarm clock in the morning almost as much as I hate going to bed before 1 a.m. so that I won’t have to hear that frigging evil alarm clock.

And you know what I’m really not looking forward to? Homework. I hear third grade’s a lot harder than second, and that they really pile on the homework. And you have to use cursive writing. I’m really worried about that. My son suffers from something called “dysgraphia,” otherwise known as “bad handwriting,” which teachers really hate.

I’m also worried because Koss has another disorder called “wiggle wormitis“–he has a hard time sitting still. It’s pretty common in little boys. In fact, Koss’s teacher last year (who was maybe 12) had been diagnosed with “wiggle wormitis” too, so he was very understanding and let him stand up and wiggle while he read or wrote or drew or whatever he needed to do. Do they let you wiggle in third grade? I’m not so sure.

I’m a little bit worried about those third grade teachers. I hear they can be kind of intimidating. What if they don’t like us? What if we don’t get any of our friends in our class? What if they make us sit still and write in cursive? What if all the other kids make fun of me for being 43 in third grade?

PTA is worrying me too. I didn’t hear anything from them all summer, and then all of a sudden, this week, there were 347 emails and 52 phone calls related to PTA. Oops, make that 53 phone calls. Thank goodness for voicemail. How will I get any actual work done with so much volunteering to do?

Plus there are all those healthy lunches I need to find time to prepare. And the holiday gifts I want to get started on. And of course I’ve got to increase my workouts at the gym, but at the same time I’d really like to get started on that novel I keep wanting to have written. No wonder I’m so stressed. How am I ever going to get everything done?

Koss actually seems excited for school to start. Something about friends, yadda yadda. But what about me? Doesn’t he realize the pressure it’s putting on me?

Sigh. I still have time. It is still August, after all. No matter what the school says, MY summer doesn’t officially end till next month.

When Leslie’s not stressing about school, she can be found soaking up those last rays of summer at the beach, with her trusty laptop in tow. For surf and tide information email email . For more columns visit www.LeslieDinaberg.com.

Originally appeared in the Santa Barbara Daily Sound on August 24, 2007.