Cocktail Corner: In the Mood for Love

A special Valentines Day Cocktail from Finch & Fork, courtesy photo.

A special Valentines Day Cocktail from Finch & Fork, courtesy photo.

 

A Spirited Toast to All Things Alcoholic! By Leslie Dinaberg 

Love is in the air this month, with Valentine’s Day cocktail specials from some of our favorite mixologists. Want to get in the mood for Valentine’s Day?  Try Inconceivable! from Joe Dohany of Finch & Fork (31 W. Carrillo St. in the Canary Hotel).

“A beautiful and balanced cocktail with tequila, strawberry shrub, zucca, mezcal and soda water. It will be served in a coupe with a dehydrated strawberry on top just for Valentine’s Day.”

Kiss Me Stupid Champagne Cocktail courtesy S.Y. Kitchen.

Kiss Me Stupid Champagne Cocktail courtesy S.Y. Kitchen.

Also on tap this holiday season is a special “San Valentino Dinner” for romance at SY Kitchen (1110 Faraday St. in Santa Ynez),  as well as mixologist Alberto Battaglini’s “Kiss Me Stupid” Champagne Cocktail, “a seductive champagne cocktail of vacuum-infused strawberry juice with mint, aperol and gin, topped with champagne.”

Another favorite sipping spot, Santa Barbara Wine Collective (131 Anacapa St.) has some special tastings available for the holiday, available Feb. 10-14:

For bubble enthusiasts, Fess Parker’s ‘Fesstivity’ Sparkling Wine Flight features a Blanc de Blancs, a Brut Cuvee and a Blanc de Noirs.

Santa Barbara Wine Collective, courtesy photo

Santa Barbara Wine Collective, courtesy photo

For those that love Pinot Noir, a Pinot Noir Flight includes Ca’ Del Grevino Estate Pinot Noir, Fess Parker ‘Pommard’ Pinot Noir, Babcock ‘Slice of Heaven’ Pinot Noir and The Hilt ‘Vanguard’ Pinot Noir.

The ‘Red is for love’ Flight is perfect for red wine fans, with Fess Parker ‘Rodney’s’ Syrah, Babcock Pinot Noir, Sta. Rita Hills, Ca’ Del Grevino Dolcetto, Notary Public Cabernet Sauvignon and The Paring ‘Red” Bordeaux Blend.

On Sunday, February 12 only, the “Little Sweet One” Tasting Flight, including Ca’ Del Grevino Estate wines (Riesling, Pinot

Raspberry Beret, courtesy Les Marchands.

Raspberry Beret, courtesy Les Marchands.

Noir, Grenache, Dolcetto & Syrah) is paired with chocolates from Heart & Sugar Confections.

The sommelier team at Les Marchands (131 Anacapa St.) is also in the mood for St. Valentine to strike, with an original cocktail known for its aphrodisiac-like qualities—The Raspberry Beret—with Plymouth Gin, Crème De Framboise, Lemon Juice & Rose Water. 

“This cocktail’s scented flavors of rose petal, spice and tart raspberry make this a classy and flirty drink for the cocktail enthusiast.”

Sounds good to me. Cheers!

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Leslie Dinaberg

When she’s not busy working as the editor of Santa Barbara SEASONS, Cocktail Corner author Leslie Dinaberg writes magazine articles, newspaper columns and grocery lists. When it comes to cocktails, Leslie considers herself a “goal-oriented drinker.”

 Originally published in Santa Barbara Seasons on February 3, 2017.

 

 

Cocktail Corner: Valentine-Themed Specials

For Valentine's Day, Eureka is featuring new specialty cocktails (L-R): It's Complicated and Facebook Official. Courtesy photo.

For Valentine’s Day, Eureka is featuring new specialty cocktails (L-R): It’s Complicated and Facebook Official. Courtesy photo.

A spirited toast to all things alcoholic! by Leslie Dinaberg

Not sure of your relationship status? Just in time for Valentine’s Day (Feb. 8-15), Eureka! is offering two new specialty themed cocktails—amusingly dubbed “Facebook Official” and “It’s Complicated”—to help you figure things out (or figure out that you don’t really need to know …).

The FBO (Facebook Official) is designed to taste like a chocolate covered strawberry. Made with Buffalo Trace Bourbon, a house-made strawberry simple syrup, lemon juice and chocolate bitters, it’s certainly perfect for the season.

Not in the mood for something sweet, It’s Complicated is a spicy cocktail made with Anchor Junipero gin, beet sumac syrup and fresh jalapeños.

Eureka! is located at 601 Paseo Nuevo.

Cheers!

Click here for more cocktail corner columns.

Leslie Dinaberg

When she’s not busy working as the editor of Santa Barbara SEASONS, Cocktail Corner author Leslie Dinaberg writes magazine articles, newspaper columns and grocery lists. When it comes to cocktails, Leslie considers herself a “goal-oriented drinker.”

Originally published in Santa Barbara Seasons Magazine on February 12, 2016.

Cocktail Corner: Sip and Savor Valentine’s Day

Finch & Fork, courtesy photo.

Finch & Fork, courtesy photo.

A spirited toast to all things alcoholic! by Leslie Dinaberg

Whether you celebrate Valentine’s Day with your true love, or a true friend, our local watering holes and restaurants are working overtime to make the holiday a memorable one. Here are a few ideas:

A Classic Valentine Weekend at Finch & Fork

Finch & Fork (31 West Carrillo St.) is honoring the classics this Valentine’s Day. On both Feb. 13 and Feb. 14, order from their regular dinner menu, or from a variety of specials. Try the Lobster Bisque, served tableside and sure to impress. Next, order Chef James Siao’s Beef Wellington served with wild mushroom puree, speck, brioche, grilled asparagus salad and roasted garlic peppercorn sauce. For the ultimate finale, indulge in their tableside Hot Fudge Sundae, prepared with all the toppings.

The Hungry Cat SB | Photo by Andrew Stuart

The Hungry Cat SB | Photo by Andrew Stuart

Tempt Your Catch at the Hungry Cat’s Ocean-Inspired Valentine’s Day 

Gems from the sea set the scene for romance in Chef/Owner David Lentz’s Hungry Cat (1134 Chapala St.). For Valentine’s Day, guests may select from a prix fixe menu that includes Peruvian Scallops with fennel, sambal and granny smith apple; Prawns with chili, lime, shrimp chip and egg custard; Smoked Salmon with crème fraiche, caper berry, heirloom beet and cauliflower; Lobster Raviolo with black garlic, king trumpet and spinach; and Grilled Branzino for two with chickpea, green romesco, cucumber and mint. Meat lovers will savor a rich and tender Stout- Braised Lamb Shoulder. In addition, the restaurant’s signature Ocean-Fresh Raw Bar is available à la carte along with two specially created Valentine’s Day craft cocktails —the Laws of Attraction (made with Ford’s Gin, Pamplemousse Rose, lemon and chocolate bitters) and Love Me Forever (made with rose petal infused vodka, ginger, blood orange juice and gran classico).

Love Me Forever, Hungry Cat, photo by Dona Bridges.

Love Me Forever, Hungry Cat, photo by Dona Bridges.

The Lark Presents Three Nights of Valentine-Inspired Specials

Set the table for romance at The Lark (131 Anacapa St.), where Executive Chef Jason Paluska and Executive Pastry Chef Jeff Haines present a weekend of Valentine’s Day dining with enticing specials designed to be shared by two for the ultimate romantic dining experience. Chef Paluska’s creations include Santa Barbara Sea Urchin Toast with Perigord Black Truffle Butter, Grilled Sourdough Levain, Breakfast Radish & Chervil; and Seared Hudson Valley Foie Gras with Pink Peppercorn-Buttermilk Biscuits with Roasted Strawberry Duck Jus, Pickled Fennel & Tarragon.

The Lark, courtesy photo.

The Lark, courtesy photo.

Couples may also share the luscious Dungeness Crab & House-made Gnocchi with Spanish Chorizo, Navel Orange, Castelvetrano Olives & Lobster Roe. For dessert, Chef Haines prepares a Classic Chocolate Cake with Hibiscus, Olive Oil, Raspberry Meringue and Passion Fruit Ice Cream. Served with the dessert is a toast for two of Sparkling Gamay from Patrick Bottex, La Cueille, Savoie, France. The Lark also offers the complete market-driven menu that has made the restaurant so popular.

Les Marchands| Photo Credit Rob Stark

Les Marchands| Photo Credit Rob Stark

Wining and Dining at Les Marchands Wine Bar & Merchant

Les Marchands (131 Anacapa St.) and Chef Weston Richards have a romantic weekend planned with three seductive dishes that are passionately playful for couples seeking a relaxed and casual evening of courtship. Begin with Les Marchands Valentine’s Day aphrodisiac of Crispy Fried Oysters with Lemon-Caper Remoulade and House-Made Hot Sauce. Then savor Chef Weston’s definitive burger—“Royale with Cheese,” two 1/4-pound beef patties with caramelized onions, Taleggio cheese and housemade thousand island served with a side of garlic-herb pommes frites. For the ultimate in decadent desserts, try a rich Dark Chocolate Mousse with Chocolate-Pistachio Crisp, Marshmallow, Ancho Chile Powder & Olive.

The sommelier team at Les Marchands has selected three preferred picks to be paired and discovered with each of the Valentine’s Day specials: Gaston Chiquet Grand Cru Blanc de Blanc to enjoy with oysters; Weihenstephaner Hefe Weiss as a match for the “Royale with Cheese” burger; and Domaine La Tour Vielle “Rimage” Banyuls to accompany the richness of Chef Weston’s dark chocolate mousse. Pricing is à la carte.

Vintage Love at Outpost

Celebrate a very special vintage Valentine’s Day at Outpost at the Goodland Hotel (5650 Calle Real, Goleta), where Executive Chef Derek Simcik has created the Vintage Love menu. It includes classic French dishes like Foie Tourchon with Sauternes, Beef Royale and Bouillabaisse. Pair your meal with the perfect cocktail, like the Novel Vintage with Woodford Rye, Maison Rouge VSOP, Earl Grey-Honey Syrup, Luxardo Maraschino, Orange Curacao and Lemon.

Outpost at the Goodland, courtesy photo.

Outpost at the Goodland, courtesy photo.

After dinner, stop by Goodbar and have lead bartender Chris Burmeister make one his newest creations. Try the Vendetta with Gran Lusso Vermouth, Lustau Palo Cortado Sherry, Amere Nouvelle, bitters and strawberry preserves, or the Handsome Haymaker with H by Hine Cognac, Avua Amburana, Masala Chai Syrup, milk and cream.

S.Y. Kitchen Presents a San Valentino Dinner Designed for Romance

The Courtyard at S.Y. Kitchen | Photo Credit Rob Stark

The Courtyard at S.Y. Kitchen | Photo Credit Rob Stark

S.Y. Kitchen‘s San Valentino Dinner features alluring holiday specials, a Valentine’s Day cocktail and stellar wine recommendations (1110 Faraday St., Santa Ynez). Starters include Black Truffle Ravioli with Burrata and Shaved Black Truffles; followed by main course selections of Filet Mignon with Mushrooms and Polenta and Grilled Giant Atlantic Prawns with Avocado Mousse, Local Tomatoes and Arugula. For dessert, there is a special additional dessert prepared by Chef Francesco—a rich Chocolate Terrine with Raspberry Sauce and Fresh Berries. Pricing is à la carte and reservations are recommended for one of the most popular dining nights of the year.

Rose & Hibiscus Martini | photo credit Alberto Battaglini

Rose & Hibiscus Martini | photo credit Alberto Battaglini

In addition, Mixologist Alberto Battaglini will make his special Rose & Hibiscus Martini: a stunning presentation of Rose-Infused Hendrix Gin with Fresh Rose Petals, Raspberry, Hibiscus-Blackberry Bitter, Lemon and Lime. Wine lovers will enjoy Sommelier Emily Johnston’s suggested bottle of Alma Rosa Brut Rosé ‘El Jabali’ 2013 among other recommendations to accompany dinner. Cuddle together in the courtyard at night or by the outdoor fire pit before or after dinner with an Aperitivo or Digestivo for a little extra flirting. In addition to the Valentine’s Day Specials, S.Y. Kitchen will offer their complete à la carte menu on Valentine’s Day for those that prefer the restaurant’s signature dishes. S.Y. Kitchen will also be serving their “Italian Breakfast” on Feb. 14 from 10 a.m. -2 p.m. for couples that want to get an early start on Valentine’s Day. 

Rose, Reds and Truffles at Santa Barbara Wine Collective

Santa Barbara Wine Collective (131 Anacapa St.), offers a special all- weekend Valentine’s Day tasting featuring two flights to sample from the Collective’s five talented Santa Barbara County members. Choose a flight of two exceptional Rosé selections from The Paring and Fess Parker or a flight of five reds from Babcock, Fess Parker, The Paring, Notary Public and Ca’ Del Grevino.

Both flights include pairings of artisan chocolate truffles created by Santa Barbara confectioner Jessica Foster, and are available all day Fri. Feb. 12-Sun. Feb. 14. To purchase advance tickets, visit NightOut.com: sbwcvdayflight.nightout.com. Tickets are also available in person.

Santa Barbara Wine Collective, photo by Erin Feinblatt.

Santa Barbara Wine Collective, photo by Erin Feinblatt.

Cheers! Click here for more cocktail corner columns.

Leslie Dinaberg

When she’s not busy working as the editor of Santa Barbara SEASONS, Cocktail Corner author Leslie Dinaberg writes magazine articles, newspaper columns and grocery lists. When it comes to cocktails, Leslie considers herself a “goal-oriented drinker.”

Originally published in Santa Barbara Seasons Magazine on February 5, 2016.

Cocktail Corner: Valentine’s Weekend Garagiste Wine Festival

A spirited toast to all things alcoholic! by Leslie Dinaberg

2016 Garagiste FestivalWine and romance pair together so well, why not celebrate Valentine’s Day weekend at the fourth annual Garagiste Wine Festival Southern Exposure 2016.

This fun and very unique wine festival takes place Feb. 13-14 at the Veterans’ Memorial Hall in Solvang. In honor of Valentine’s Day weekend, the festival features micro-production local sparkling wines, in addition to handcrafted red and white vintages poured by hard-to-find, cutting-edge commercial artisan garagiste wineries from Santa Barbara County, Santa Ynez Valley, Paso Robles, Napa and more.

Not only is this an ideal way to try hard-to-find, up-and-coming wines (and meet their makers), proceeds from the event benefit The Garagiste Festival Scholarship Fund at Cal Poly Wine and Viticulture Department.

Courtesy Garagiste Festival.

Courtesy Garagiste Festival.

The Los Angeles Times calls this a “wildly exuberant and fun wine event,” and I couldn’t agree more. (Click here for a previous Cocktail Corner about the event.) The event features Grand Tastings of different vintages on both Saturday and Sunday. In addition, each Grand Tasting is preceded by a tasting seminar.

From 11:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. on Saturday they’ll be Digging Deep into Mourvedre: This seminar explores different styles of Mourvedre and helps you understand why it is one of the most widely planted varietals in the world. Bob Tillman (Alta Colina Vineyards), Larry Schaffer (Tercero Wines) and Eric Mohsemi (Zaca Mesa Vineyards) will explain the joys of this under-the-radar grape as you taste your way through an amazing array of Mourvedre’s to showcase what this grape brings to the bottle.

Sunday’s seminar, from 11:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. and sponsored by BubblyFest, is called Rise of the Bubbles – The New Breed of California Sparkling Wine: Start Valentine’s Day off right by tasting some of the exciting new bubbles—white, pink and red—that are being produced by small winemakers in California. You’ll explore the wines of Norm Yost (Goat Bubbles), Tyler Elwell (Halcyon Wines) and Dan Kessler (Kessler-Haak Vineyards).

 “We are proud to continue our mission of bringing the best new garagiste winemakers to our audience and, just as importantly, bringing the story behind the wines straight from the winemakers themselves,” says Garagiste Festival Co-founder Doug Minnick. “Great wines and great winemakers in the beautiful countryside of the Santa Ynez Valley? We think this is the perfect Valentine’s Day gift.”

Launched in Paso Robles in 2011, the nonprofit Garagiste Festivals were the first to shine a light on the American garagiste winemakers, commercial artisan winemakers who handcraft under 1,500 cases a year and pay close, hands-on attention to every wine they make. To purchase tickets and for more information, go to: http://garagistefestival.com.

Winemakers scheduled to pour include: Archium Cellars, Ascension Cellars, Baehner Fournier Vineyards, Bevela Wines*, Brophy Clark Cellars, Carucci Wines, The Central Coast Group Project, Cloak & Dagger Wines, Clos des Amis, Coda Wines, Cordon Wines, Dascomb Cellars, El Lugar Wines, Graef Wines, Halcyon Wines*, Iter Wine*, Kessler Haak Vineyard, La Montagne Winery, Larner Vineyard, Levo Wines, Mallea Wines*, MCV Wines, Millesime Cellars*, C. Nagy Wines, Pace Family Wines, Press Gang Cellars, Rhythm Wines*, Ryan Cochrane Wines, Scott Cellars, Seagrape Wines, small + tall wines*, Stirm Wines*, STANGER/JP3, Tercero Wines, Travieso Winery, Trojak-Knier Winery, Weatherborne, West of Temprance* and Workman Ayer.

Hope to see some of you there.

Cheers!

Click here for more cocktail corner columns.

Leslie Dinaberg

When she’s not busy working as the editor of Santa Barbara SEASONS, Cocktail Corner author Leslie Dinaberg writes magazine articles, newspaper columns and grocery lists. When it comes to cocktails, Leslie considers herself a “goal-oriented drinker.”

 Originally published in Santa Barbara Seasons Magazine on January 22, 2015.

Cocktail Corner: A Toast to Love and Valentines

S.Y. Kitchen's Valentine's Kiss cocktail, photo by mixologist Alberto Battaglini.

S.Y. Kitchen’s Valentine’s Kiss cocktail, photo by mixologist Alberto Battaglini.

A spirited toast to all things alcoholic! By Leslie Dinaberg

Nothing says romance quite like a great bottle of wine or a sexy cocktail. Here are some ways to toast your beloved this Valentine’s Day.

The Santa Barbara Wine Collective has a special Valentine’s Day library flight of Babcock Cabernet Sauvignon

The Babcock Library Cabernet Flight, courtesy photo

The Babcock Library Cabernet Flight, courtesy photo

paired with local chocolate truffles created by Santa Barbara confectioner Jessica Foster. The flight includes Babcock’s 2004 Nucleus Cabernet Sauvignon, 2007 Nucleus Cabernet Sauvignon, 2012 Block 15 Cabernet Sauvignon and a special release of Babcock’s “Naughty Little Nectar” Late Harvest Pinot Gris. All wines will be paired with Jessica Foster Truffles and winemaker Bryan Babcock will be on hand from 4-7 p.m. to offer an in depth look at each wine. The Santa Barbara Wine Collective, 131 Anacapa St., www.santabarbarawinecollective.com, 805/456-2700.

Jessica Foster Confections, courtesy photo.

Jessica Foster Confections, courtesy photo.

Chef Derek Simcik at Outpost has created a special “Get Your Freak On” aphrodisiac-filled Valentine’s Day Prix Fixe menu that includes: oysters with pork cheek, green curry and coconut (aphrodisiac: oysters & spicy chilies in the curry); rabbit with soba noodles, red wine, pomegranate, pine nuts (aphrodisiac: red wine, pomegranate and pine nuts); and a special Cocoa Boba Tea made with cocoa and cayenne (aphrodisiac: cocoa, cayenne pepper). In addition, bartender Chris Burmeister will have a number of specialty “love potions” – available all weekend at both Outpost and Good Bar, including: Roses are Red (Vodka, passion tea infused aperol, rose water, prosecco); Violets are Blue (Gin, dolin blanc vermouth, blueberry syrup, crème de violet, lemon juice), Between the Sheets (White rum, Cognac VSOP, Cointreau, simple syrup, lemon juice) and With a Bottle of Booze (Tequila, carpano bianco, Pimm’s No 1, Peychaud’s Bitters). Outpost and Good Bar at the Goodland Hotel,  5650 Calle Real, Goleta, www.outpostsb.com, 805/964-1288.

The very romantic dining room at the Wine Cask features a special three-course menu with chocolate truffles from Jessica Foster Confections (she’s obviously in demand this holiday season). The Wine Cask, 813 Anacapa St., www.winecask.com, 805/966-9463.

El Beso De Luz, courtesy Casa Noble

El Beso De Luz, courtesy Casa Noble

Not every man can serenade his sweetheart the way Carlos Santana can, and the man can also mix a mean cocktail. Santana named this drink El Beso de Luz (The Kiss of Light) as a tribute to his wife Cindy, because the first sip of the cocktail reminded him of the feeling one gets when they first

The Raspberry Kiss cocktail from Eureka! , courtesy photo.

The Raspberry Kiss cocktail from Eureka! , courtesy photo.

fall in love. Combine 2 oz Casa Noble Crystal Tequila with ½ oz Licor 43 and 1 oz Lime juice. Then squeeze an orange wedge over the cocktail and drop it into the glass. www.casanoble.com.

Eureka! is offering both His & Hers Special Valentine’s Day Cocktails. His is a collaboration with Mission Brewery on a version of their Dark Seas Russian Imperial Stout that was aged for eight months in Four Roses Bourbon Barrels.  Hers is the Raspberry Chocolate Kiss cocktail featuring Prichard’s Double Chocolate Bourbon, raspberry gomme syrup, and red grapefruit juice. Both are available from Feb. 9 on. Eureka! , 601 Paseo Nuevo,             www.eurekarestaurantgroup.com, 805/618-3388.

Les Marchands has a Valentine’s Day menu designed to inspire passion. Begin with Oysters on the Half Shell with Champagne Mignonette and then sample one of Chef Weston Richard’s acclaimed Ramen dishes—a Pork Belly Ramen for carnivores or, for vegetarians, a Roasted Butternut Squash Ramen. For dessert, a Dark Chocolate Mousse with Earl Grey Custard, Strawberries, Pistachio and Chocolate Tuile (sounds amazing!). Available from 4-10 p.m. with no reservations required and à la carte pricing, this is a great option for people who don’t like to plan far ahead. In addition, a flight Rosé hand-selected by Brian McClintic MS is available. Les Marchands Wine Bar & Merchant, 131 Anacapa St., www.lesmarchandswine.com, 805/284-0380.

The romantic S.Y. Kitchen Firepit at Night , Photo by Rocco Ceselin.

The romantic S.Y. Kitchen Firepit at Night , Photo by Rocco Ceselin.

Just over the hill, S.Y. Kitchen has a San Valentino dinner designed for romance. Beginning with a first course for two of a Branzino Carpaccio with Osetra Caviar and Dill Crème Fraiche, guests will share Sous Chef Francesco’s House-Made Ravioli with Porcini and Black Truffles. The main course is a choice of a tender Filet Mignon with Foie Gras, Pineapple and Port Reduction or a Maine Lobster Catalana, to be selected by each guest. Chef Francesco will prepare a Chocolate Trilogy for the table completing a perfect Valentine’s Day evening in the Valley. Plus, Mixologist Alberto Battaglini has crafted his special Valentine’s Kiss cocktail —a stunning presentation of Rose Infused Gin with Lime, Lemon, Rose Liquor and Lavender. S.Y. Kitchen, 1110 Faraday St., Santa Ynez, www.sykitchen.com, 805/691-9794.

Cheers!

Click here for more cocktail corner columns.

Leslie Dinaberg

Originally published in Santa Barbara Seasons on February 6, 2015.

 

When she’s not busy working as the editor of Santa Barbara SEASONS, Cocktail Corner author Leslie Dinaberg writes magazine articles, newspaper columns and grocery lists. When it comes to cocktails, Leslie considers herself a “goal-oriented drinker.”

Valentine XOXOXO

Photo by Ohmega1982, freedigitalphotos.net

Photo by Ohmega1982, freedigitalphotos.net

It used to be so very, very easy. Everyone got valentines in first grade-even the frogs we already knew would never under any circumstances turn into princes, no matter how sweetly we asked them to “Be Mine” with pink foil hearts or “Bee Mine,” with Bit-O-Honey bars. Boys gave cards to girls and boys, girls gave cards to boys and girls, and there were no quibbles about it. The teacher made us give valentines to everyone, so people knew they didn’t mean I like you like you or anything complicated like that.

Everyone understood the rules and, for the most part, we all had fun. We’d jog to each person’s desk and drop a valentine into their decorated Kleenex box that we’d adorned with hearts, smiley faces and various spellings of “Hapy Valantune’s Day!”

What’s not to like about the chalky candy Sweethearts, with messages like “4 Ever” and “I’m Yours,” and the amusing little cards featuring bug eyed owls crooning, “Whooo do I want for my Valentine,” or baseball playing poppets pleading, “You’ve made a big hit, will I make a good catch?”

How on earth did we grow up and let Valentine’s Day get so very, very stressful?

It used to be a day for light-hearted fun but now-unless you live on a planet far, far away without advertising-Valentine’s Day has become a sneaky, predatory holiday full of unrealistic expectations. It’s a do-or-die litmus test for your romantic relationship. Flowers in a box fail to pass the sniff test, according to a Teleflora commercial (during the Super B$wl, no less), and any jewelry short of a ginormous diamond engagement ring falls disastrously short of expectations if you’ve seen the trailer for any romantic comedy made in the last decade.

For most guys, the very mention of the words “Valentine’s Day” conjures up nightmare memories of frantic last-minute shopping at the drug store followed by yelling, threats of bodily harm and then tears from their disappointed wives or girlfriends. Women tend to fantasize-despite the evidence of every previous experience they’ve EVER had with their loved one-that this will finally be the year he brings champagne, candles, chocolate, roses and Michael Buble to serenade them.

Basically it’s all about love, lingerie and letdowns.

Decades ago when my husband and I were young and in love and didn’t know any better, we decided to avoid the commercialism and stress of the holiday and instituted a Valentine’s Day tradition of making something for each other. None of that wussy Hallmark stuff for us. I may adore roses and chocolate, but we decided that buying something off the shelf for Valentine’s Day was for people who weren’t creative. Our gifts would come straight from our hands, and our hearts.

Oh how naïve we were.

You think picking the perfect card off the shelf is stressful, try writing the perfect poem where something rhymes with “Valentine” and “Klobucher.” You think getting a reservation at a romantic restaurant on Valentine’s Day takes clever planning, try running out of pink glitter and heart shaped doilies at 2 a.m. on February 13th. Over the years I’ve made more crafty projects than Martha Stewart and the Naughty Secretary combined, but
after more than 20 Valentine’s Day love crafts, I’m out of new ideas.

Clearly my romantic chops need defrosting. I decided to consult “1001 Ways to be Romantic” by Gregory Godek, who I had seen talk about romance on Oprah’s show a while back, so he must be the man. Some of his ideas were pretty good.

* Compliment your partner. (I love you even more now than that Valentine’s Day I made you a mix tape, before iTunes made it so ridiculously easy.)

* Check in with each other during the day. (Does texting him at work to ask, “have you made my Valentine yet” count?)

* Make a New Year’s resolution to be a more creative romantic. (Of course, I always do that one.)

* Make plans for Valentine’s Day well in advance! (This year, I’ll move it back to the 13th at 1:00 a.m.)

I still felt the pressure until I read an excerpt from Godek’s next book, “Bring Food. Arrive Naked.” That seems pretty manageable. I started to mull over recipe ideas when this historical note leapt off the page: “The ancient Greeks believed that love resided in the liver, not the heart.” Hmm … do you think champagne goes with chopped liver?

=

When Leslie’s not wishing for a Valentine’s Day that’s well, not chopped liver, she can be reached at Leslie@LeslieDinaberg.com. For more columns visit www.LeslieDinaberg.com. Originally published in the Santa Barbara Daily Sound on February 12, 2010.

Valentines Day is Not For Wimps

lovebirds by smarnad via freedigitalphotos.net

lovebirds by smarnad via freedigitalphotos.net

I know a lot of people feel pressure around the December holidays, what with coming up with the perfect card, trying to buy eight nights worth of Hanukah gifts that make your kids kvell but don’t make your wallet groan, and attempting to make it snow in Santa Barbara. Despite what your friends may have told you, I’ve tried both the disco version and the salsa style and I’m 99.37% sure that doing a snow dance doesn’t work.

But the end of the year holiday pressure is nothing compared to Valentine’s Day. It’s not what you think … so quit trying to picture me in my underwear. Despite the overabundance of Victoria’s Secret ads, I don’t feel the need to get in touch with my inner porn star this month or surprise my honey with a heart tattoo. No, it’s my inner Martha Stewart who’s tugging on my ear this week.

Once upon a time, long, long ago, when my husband and I were young and in love and didn’t know any better, we started a Valentine’s Day tradition of making something for each other.

It all started with a six-pack of wine coolers. I made that first painting on a cardboard box canvas, with nail polish and lipstick–I’d had too many Bartles & Jaymes to go out and buy actual art supplies.

Little did I know what a monster I’d unleashed.

Zak made me a window box the next year, and a tradition was born.

There would be none of that wimpy Hallmark holiday stuff for us. No silly stuffed teddy bears, boxes of candy or overpriced roses for us. No sir. We wouldn’t get sucked into the commercialism of Valentine’s Day like those other saps. Never mind that I like roses and chocolate. I don’t even hate teddy bears. But buying something off the shelf for Valentine’s Day was for people who weren’t creative. Our gifts would come straight from our hands, and our hearts.

Over the years I’ve made books out of doilies and heart stickers, penned poems and plays, glued popsicle sticks into picture frames, and fashioned pink and red plastic wires in boxes. I’ve made candles, soap, ceramics, mosaics, pop-up cards, scrapbooks, and just about anything else you can find in the craft aisle. You name it, I’ve made it, and I’ve inadvertently ingested gallons of glitter and glue along the way, which can’t be good for my few remaining brain cells.

After 18 years of romantic, ah, gestures, I’m beginning to see why those Hallmark people keep resorting to talking teddy bears and puerile poetry. They’ve been coming up with Valentine ideas for a bazillion years now and I’m ready to wimp out after less than two decades.

While Hallmark cranks out hundreds of cards and cheap little dust collectors each year, I struggle to come up with one measly new Valentine idea for my husband every February.

There are only five days left until V-Day and I’ve got a new challenge this time.

See, last year our son, Oedipus, pitched a fit when he found out that mommy made daddy a set of fuzzy heart-shaped golf club covers for Valentine’s Day, while all he got was a new soccer ball that wasn’t even handmade. So now I’m feeling pressure to create not one, but two perfect Valentine’s Day gifts.

Do you think I could get away with putting handmade bows around a puppy and a beer?

If not, does anyone know where I can get a beer making kit? And, no, I don’t want the puppy making kit. The last thing I need around here on V-Day is some bitch in Victoria’s Secret.

I’ve got it! Two birds, one stone. Honey–I wrote this column just for you. Happy Valentine’s Day!

Originally published in the Santa Barbara Daily Sound on February 8, 2008.