Marcia Marcia Marcia

250px-BradyBunchtitleOh Marcia, Marcia, Marcia.

You were the high point of my Saturday nights from September 26, 1969 (yep, that’s 39 years ago today, folks) till March 8, 1974, when the final “Hair-Brained Scheme” episode aired, and Greg bought hair tonic from Bobby that turned his hair red. Oops! LOL.

Dad was coaching football in those days, so mom would go root him on and leave us with a babysitter and TV dinners on TV trays. Macaroni and cheese with a brownie for dessert if we were lucky. Salisbury steak and mushy apple pie if we weren’t.

But no matter what the frozen fare was, The Brady Bunch was always on the menu.

I couldn’t wait for the next episode. Years later I chuckled for different reasons at the pilot “Honeymoon” episode, with Mr. Brady telling his bride to “take a Valium” to relax her on their wedding day. But back in those days there was no finer television than “Jan’s Aunt Jenny” who looked like Jan as a girl but grew up to look like Imogene Coca, or when Peter walked around saying “pork chops and applesauce” and pretended to be Humphrey Bogart in “The Personality Kid.” It still cracks me up.

As much as I treasured the Brady family vacations–like the three-part Grand Canyon (“Ghost Town U.S.A.,” “Grand Canyon or Bust,” and “The Brady Braves”) and Hawaiian adventures (“Hawaii Bound,” “Pass the Tabu,” and “The Tiki Caves”)–my favorite episodes were the ones that focused on Marcia, Marcia, Marcia.

Whether she was signing up for every club on campus, running against Greg for student body president, or getting Davy Jones to come to her prom, Marcia always did it with grace, style, groovy go-go boots and a perfect hair flip. My six-year-old self adored her.

And when my eight-year-old self finally met her in person at a Girl Scout Fashion show, she couldn’t have been sweeter (unlike Greg, who I met in my 20’s–he couldn’t stop talking about his Camaro).

I know that The Brady Bunch is one of the most reviled and ridiculed shows in the history of television, but to me it’s always been one of the most revered, and that’s mostly because of Marcia.

But now I’m worried because Marcia, Marcia, Marcia wrote a book. Here’s the Story: Surviving Marcia Brady and Finding My True Voice by Maureen McCormick comes out October 14th and I can’t wait to read it. But at the same time I’m terrified that I’m going to learn that my childhood idol isn’t all I imagined her to be.

According to the press release: “Marcia Brady, eldest daughter on television’s The Brady Bunch, had it all. But what viewers didn’t know about the always sunny, perfect Marcia was that off-screen, her real-life counterpart, Maureen McCormick was living a very different–and not-so-wonderful–life. Maureen tells the shocking and inspirational true story of the beloved teen and the woman she became.”

It goes on to talk about her struggles with bouts of depression, cocaine addiction, bulimia, and estrangement from her family (not to mention all those Internet rumors about her and Jan being “more than sisters”). Here I thought she spent all her time off playing with Laurie Partridge.

What do you mean it wasn’t always a sunshine day?

Oh Marcia, Marcia, Marcia, say it isn’t so! You were my first girl crush. You made me want to sing with my mother, flirt with my brother and straighten my hair. Face it Marcia, you made me want to be a better girl. But now I hear you’re writing a tell-all that says you’re just like Britney, Miley and Lindsay and all of those other girls today who simply make me want to be a better mom.

Oh Marcia, Marcia, Marcia, say it isn’t so!

Originally published in the Santa Barbara Daily Sound on September 26, 2008.