How About a Hunka Hunka Hotness in the White House?

west-wingCount me among the many millions of Americans who mourn the loss of The West Wing. How many millions? I don’t know. But apparently not enough to keep this smartest-guy-in-the-room-full-of-dumb-television-shows from being cancelled. Perhaps the ultimate political fantasy–a White House controlled by a president and political staff who always put the best interests of the American people above politics–was just too farfetched when compared with the hard-hitting reality of Fear Factor and America’s Top Model.

I’m going to miss The West Wing’s idealized vision of what the country could be like if our leaders said what they really thought, without filtering their sound bites through a blender of image consultants, polling data and checkbook loyalties. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve shouted at Martin Sheen, “Why can’t you be the real president? So what if you’re a midget!”

And I’ll definitely miss creator Aaron Sorkin‘s razor sharp writing, which took us behind the scenes for a look at how Washington really operates–or would operate if spectacularly witty and deeply principled people ran it. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve shouted at my TV, “Why can’t I write like you do, Aaron? So what if you’re a coke fiend!”

While Aaron’s been in rehab the past few seasons, I have also been working my way through withdrawal from his witty repartee. I almost gave up on the show in 2004 until the new writing staff lured me in with a brilliant bit of casting.

Jimmy Smits. All those m’s in his name spell out mmm, as in yummy. Come to mummy yummy.

I can’t believe they cancelled the show just as Jimmy was sworn in as president. We were robbed! Jimmy Smits would have made an amazing president.

His Hispan-ethnicity makes him a pollster’s dream come true. His character had intelligence, youthful vigor, a sweet, supportive wife and photogenic young children to make him easy to relate to. But that’s not why I was really looking forward to watching him every Sunday night.

Quite simply, Jimmy Smits is hot. And a hunka, hunka hot president could go a long way toward healing what ails us in this country. Just think about it.

Americans are arrogant and insecure; we’re fat and lazy and simple-minded; we yell a lot (not just at our televisions but at each other); we’ve got short attention spans; and we’re violent, promiscuous and hypocritical–and with a few exceptions, we just keep on electing dumb guys who start too many wars and can’t balance the budget.

But we’re not blind.

Therefore, I nominate Jimmy Smits for president. His campaign platform: he’s a hunka, hunka hot kind of guy.

A hunka, hunka hot Jimmy Smits as president would cure political apathy, as women would flock to support his initiatives, and men would eventually get up off the couch to see where all the women went.

A hunka, hunka hot Jimmy Smits as president could single-handedly restore the economy with his “buying American is sexy” campaign. I’m picturing a series of commercials where I viciously tear that cheaply manufactured, “made in China” shirt off his rippled abs, thus exposing the benefits of buying U.S.-manufactured items. Or maybe I tear those cheap buttons off with my teeth, one by one… This may require some further thought to get the creative details just right.

A hunka, hunka hot Jimmy Smits as president would rock on the international relations front. With his legal expertise from “LA Law,” his street cred from “NYPD Blue” and his intergalactic diplomatic experience from Stars Wars, this guy would surely dazzle the UN into doing his bidding.

Do you think I’m too old to be an intern?

Want to join in on the Jimmy Smits for president bandwagon? Email email

Originally published in the Santa Barbara Daily Sound on May 19, 2006.