It’s summertime and the living is easy. The beer is perfectly chilled, the steaks are on the grill and you’re admiring the sunset with your loved one. All of a sudden your neighbor screeches to a stop, rock music blaring, and starts unloading kegs, chips and fireworks from his car–for the fourth time that week.
Neighbors: love them or hate them, you have no choice but to deal with them, especially in close quarters like a mobile home park. Here are some strategies to help minimize conflicts with your neighbors and make your summertime go just a little bit easier.
The key to a stress-free summer is anticipating problems before they happen.
- Introduce Yourself
You’d be surprised how many people don’t know their neighbors these days. Don’t wait until you have a problem to meet the people next door. Bring over a bottle of wine or some fresh strawberries from the Farmers Market and just say hello. Even if a problem has already occurred, try to get to know them at least a little before making a complaint.
- Be a Good Communicator
Keep your neighbors informed before you do something that might affect them, like hosting a big party or getting a new dog. Informing your neighbors ahead of time allows them to make plans or tell you how your project will affect them. And getting their input in advance lets you act in a way that will help avoid problems. Also, if your neighbor does something that you like, tell them you noticed the yard work or the new paint job. It will be easier to talk later when they do something that you don’t like.
- Follow the Golden Rule
Treat your neighbors the way you would like to be treated. Be considerate about noise from vehicles, tools, stereos, group activities, and pets. Don’t forget to consider the view from your neighbor’s yard. Those extra car parts in your driveway may not bother you, but your neighbor may not like looking at them.
What to do if there is a problem.
- Track It
Note the date, what occurs, and anything else that you think might be helpful. It’s possible that the problem (such as late night noise) may not occur as often as you think it does. In any event, clear documentation will help you talk to your neighbor and help make your case to the police or the courts if it comes to that.
- Your Neighbors Can’t Resolve a Problem if They Don’t Know About It
It is often the case that neighbors are not aware that their actions are negatively affecting others. Nine times out of ten, people are willing to make changes if you approach them respectfully to work out a solution.
- Assume the Best
If your neighbor does something that irritates you, don’t assume that it was done on purpose; instead operate under the assumption that the neighbor doesn’t know their 3 a.m. hot tub party kept you awake.
- Don’t Let Your Irritation Fester–Focus on the Issue at Hand
By communicating early in a calm and pleasant manner, you take a big step toward resolving the problem. Don’t wait until a minor irritation becomes a major issue and makes it difficult to discuss. Separating the person from the problem will allow you take care of the problem while maintaining your relationship with your neighbor.
- Stay Calm and Listen Thoughtfully
You don’t have to agree with them or justify your behavior, but if you can listen and not react defensively, then their anger will likely subside and there is a good chance of working things out. Try to understand how your neighbor feels about an issue and why. For example, people can become very defensive when they think their pets–or their children–are being maligned. Understanding their position will increase the likelihood of a solution that works for you both.
- Take a Break
If you need to, take a break to calm down and think about what you and your neighbor have discussed. Arrange a time to finish the conversation later. Don’t try to problem solve when you are having a heated discussion.
- Communicate Constructively
Always keep in mind that talking things over directly is the best way to handle problems, and avoid going to law enforcement or the courts. Turning to outsiders to resolve your neighbor issues should only be a last resort.